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Bleach: Watch Closely, This Is How You Use a Zanpakutō

PinkSnake
In the Central 46 Compound, the Captain-Commander of the Gotei 13 and the notorious scourge of the Female Shinigami Association, Masatsuki Aozaki, stood before the Sages and Judges. “You have improper relationships with numerous members, Seated Officers, and Captains of the Seireitei?” “As Captain-Commander, maintaining close relationships with them helps facilitate my work.” “...” The Judge narrowed his eyes. “Then how do you explain modifying the female Shinigami's Shihakushō into miniskirts?” “To transform the Seireitei into a perfect paradise.” “Tsk tsk… A paradise for all Shinigami? That’s not entirely unreasonable…” “No, a personal paradise.” “A private—wait! Captain-Commander Masatsuki, that kind of thinking is clearly wrong!” “Do you want to die?” “...” “Forget it, Captain-Commander Masatsuki. We’ll set this matter aside for now. Let’s discuss some of the outrageous statements you’ve made in the past. Those were jokes, right?” “No, I was completely serious.” Masatsuki calmly ran his hand along the hilt of his Zanpakutō and spoke with conviction. “I have a great relationship with my subordinates, I get along well with Hueco Mundo, and I’m even friends with all of your wives and girlfriends. But rest assured, I’m a good Shinigami. You can safely leave the world in my hands!” Genryūsai Shigekuni Yamamoto: That damn brat! Shunsui, Jūshirō, don’t stop me—I need to teach him a lesson! Thus begins the tale of the most incorrigible Shinigami!
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Douluo Dali: Unrivalled Tang Sect: With Sharingan

What? Tang San’s entire family were evil soul masters? The Spirit Hall was destroyed ten thousand years ago just so Tang San could turn the Douluo Continent into his personal backyard? Impossible—absolutely impossible! If Tang San’s father wasn’t an evil soul master, then how did he manage to defeat three Super Douluos by himself ten thousand years ago? If Tang San and his allies weren’t evil soul masters, how did they cultivate at a rate that far exceeded ordinary people? Their absurd soul ring ratios and secret methods of soul ring enhancement—aren’t those techniques exclusive to the Holy Spirit Church? Back then, the Spirit Hall reached into every corner of the continent to awaken spirits. They clearly knew who was an evil soul master and could eliminate them on the spot. Yet now, evil soul masters lurk everywhere. How do you explain that? And what about the factions that once supported Tang San? The Seven Treasures Glazed Tile Sect, once a peak force, has fallen to second-rate. The Poison Douluo’s clan? Its entire inheritance has vanished. Even the Holy Soul Village—where the Sea God Tang San first awakened his martial spirit—has become nothing but a forgotten relic. Shouldn’t it have become a sacred site? Why did it fade into obscurity? Not to mention the Holy Angel lineage—there hasn’t been a single Titled Douluo from that bloodline in tens of thousands of years. Why? And then there’s Tang San’s so-called “Ten Core Theories of Martial Spirits.” Aside from sounding impressive, are any of them actually true? Weapon-type spirits supposedly couldn’t absorb beast spirit rings—but before those theories, did the Seven Treasures Glazed Tile Sect get their rings by dismantling towers? Did the Clear Sky Sect gather rings by smashing hammers? No… Something’s deeply wrong here.
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