A romantic engagement

With the idea of breaking off the engagement, I set off for North Island. Little did I know that this would become an unforgettable experience in my life. As soon as I arrived in Beiyu, I suffered a lot because I couldn't adapt to the environment here. It wasn't Cheng Jiu but Xiao Shi who picked him up at the airport. All the way, the car jolted along the rough mountain road. My stomach was churning and I felt extremely uncomfortable. After arriving at the inn, I thought I would see Cheng Jiu soon, but was told that he had something to do and would come later. During the days of waiting, I caught a cold and had a fever, feeling completely groggy. When Cheng Jiu finally showed up, I felt a sense of strangeness towards this man I had only seen in photos. But when he saw me ill, his attitude was rather cold, which made me feel very bad and strengthened my determination to break off the engagement. In the process of getting along with Cheng Jiu, conflicts and misunderstandings kept emerging. His job is special and busy. He often leaves suddenly to carry out tasks, leaving me alone in the inn. Jiang Tang's appearance has added an extra thorn to my heart. She has a close relationship with Cheng Jiu and always emphasizes their past in front of me, making me feel like an outsider. Once at a bonfire party, I had diarrhea because I drank mare's milk wine, and Cheng Jiu wasn't by my side at that time. I felt both aggrieved and helpless. Later, on the way to send Asonri home, we were attacked. Those people were holding guns, with bullets whistling in my ears. I had never felt the threat of death so close before and was completely scared out of my wits. Cheng Jiu remained very calm in the face of danger. He and Xiao Shi fought against the enemy together and protected me. At that moment, my opinion of him changed a little, and I began to realize the danger of his job and the sense of responsibility on him. After experiencing this danger, it seems that there have been some subtle changes in the relationship between Cheng Jiu and me. But after returning to Yongcheng, troubles still kept coming. He Cheng kept pestering me, and his behavior made me feel scared and annoyed. In order to help me solve this problem, Cheng Jiu had a car race with He Cheng. On the day of the competition, I was asked by He Cheng to sit in his car. The car was going very fast and I was extremely carsick and scared. He Cheng resorted to any means to win and even wanted to take me away. Fortunately, Cheng Jiu caught up in time. At that moment, I realized how worried I was about Cheng Jiu, fearing that something might happen to him. After the competition, Cheng Jiu took me to his residence. That night, we talked a lot. His tenderness and care touched my heart. I began to realize that my feelings for him had changed unconsciously and I no longer wanted to break off the engagement as resolutely as I did at the beginning. But I'm still very torn in my heart. I've always had the intention of immigrating, and being with Cheng Jiu means giving up this plan. I don't know how to make a choice. The road ahead is still long. Where will my relationship with Cheng Jiu lead?