I woke up in a massive, golden bedroom. Silk sheets, glowing chandeliers, the works.
My brain screamed: This is not real life.
I didn't panic.
I didn't scream.
I just yawned and muttered,
"Yep. Definitely dreaming. Finally, one of the good ones."
Down the hallway, I could hear noises. Voices. Laughter. Weird… very suspicious noises.
"Ohhhh… okay, yep. This is definitely a dream," I said with a grin.
"Time to have some fun."
I opened a door, and my jaw dropped.
A grown man, but the size of a ten-year-old, was lounging like he owned the place. Around him were beautiful women, and he was clearly the center of attention.
I blinked.
Then shrugged.
"Bro… you're tiny. I can handle this."
He opened his mouth, probably to yell at me.
"Who dares—"
I cut him off.
"Yep, dream logic. Totally a dream."
---
So, of course… I went full dream-mode.
I looked around wildly, thinking this is a dream, anything goes!
Without overthinking it, I scooped up a handful of… well, my own poop that was conveniently there (dreams don't follow logic) and prepared to humiliate him—right there in the golden mansion.
SMACK!
I slapped him square in the face with the poop.
The tiny man spun around like a top. The beautiful women screamed.
I stood there, proud, chest puffed out.
"See? Dream. Real life would never let me get away with that."
---
But then… something changed.
The tiny man stopped spinning. His eyes narrowed.
"YOU FILTHY MORTAL! HOW DARE YOU?!"
I shrugged, smug.
"Relax, bro. It's just a dream. You're tiny. I win."
He growled, and a strange aura began to glow around him.
I didn't notice. I was too busy laughing at the fact that I had just humiliated him with literal poop.
"You… will regret this!" he bellowed, aura flaring like a supernova.
"I am a god, and you dare humiliate me—"
I interrupted:
"Yeah, yeah, sure. Totally a dream. You're small. I'm awesome. Checkmate, tiny guy."
He clenched his fists.
"You… will… pay! In your next life… you shall be reborn as a monkey! Swinging from trees, eating bananas, and living in shame!"
I nodded, still grinning.
"Dream world punishment. Got it. Classic."
BLAM!
I blacked out.
---
When I woke… I was a monkey. Furry hands, tiny feet, tail swishing uncontrollably. I stared into a puddle.
"Oh no… I'm a monkey. And… that little dude? He was actually… a god?!"
I hung from a branch, swaying, but a grin still stretched across my face.
"Alright… you cursed me? Fine. Guess what, tiny god?"
I clenched my fists, furious and proud.
"I curse you back! In your next life, you'll be born as a tiny frog, hopping around in shame, and everyone will laugh at you!"
Far away, somewhere in his divine realm, the tiny god shrieked in fury, his voice shaking the very heavens.
I chuckled to myself.
"This… is going to be fun. And humiliating for him, too."