Chapter 9: "Clone-Fu and Cosmic Compliments"
(In which Naruto plays cosmic ping-pong with a Tamaranian princess, gravity stops working, and someone finally appreciates all the clone choreography.)
Superboy:
High above the treetops of the now thoroughly battered island, a clone of Naruto Uzumaki was about to test how far the limits of patience and chakra-fueled chaos could go—against Superboy, of all people.
The air shimmered with residual energy blasts and broken tree bark was practically snowing down like confetti. If this had been a tourist island, Yelp reviews would be full of "Great views! Got punched through a cliff by a teenager in spandex!"
Naruto's clone landed softly on a cracked boulder, golden energy sizzling faintly off his shoulders. His orange and black jumpsuit looked like it had survived a food fight with thunderclouds. Opposite him, Superboy hovered with that annoyingly chill look on his face—the kind you only get after winning all the arcade machines with a single token.
"You're not bad," Superboy said, adjusting the fingerless gloves on his hands. "But you're throwing punches like you're scared of cracking my sunglasses."
Naruto gave a crooked grin, panting lightly but still energetic. "Nah, I'm just being polite. Gotta warm up the guests before I body them with chakra-fueled ninja nonsense."
They rushed each other at the same moment—Superboy like a bullet made of muscle and teenager attitude, and Naruto with his usual flair: launching himself forward with wind-charged rocket feet, golden chakra arms sprouting from his back like writhing ribbons of energy.
CLASH!
Their fists met in the middle with a shockwave that sent all the poor nearby trees bending like they were about to break into applause.
Superboy's strength was no joke. He wasn't just tanking Naruto's blows—he was reading them, countering them with a smooth rhythm. He fought like an older brother who had already beaten this video game and was now letting his little sibling think they had a shot.
But Naruto was nothing if not adaptable.
One clone. Then two. Then seven.
Suddenly, Superboy was surrounded by a blur of identical grinning blondes, all diving in with synchronized Clone-Fu. Kicks from behind. A chakra punch from above. A Rasengan spiraling in from the right.
Superboy spun, creating a telekinetic shockwave that blasted three clones into puffs of smoke. "Nice trick," he called out, his voice echoing through the mist. "But you'll need more than smoke and mirrors."
The original clone narrowed his eyes. "Cool. I brought more."
From the edge of vision, chakra arms lashed out—one grabbed Superboy's ankle mid-flight, the other hurled a clone like a living projectile. Superboy crashed into the side of a cliff with a thunderous boom, cracking it like a dropped teacup.
He emerged unfazed, brushing dust from his jacket like a model on a Levi's commercial.
"By the way," he said casually, floating higher, "you do realize Nightwing's been manipulating this whole game, right? Turning it into a bunch of one-on-one matches to evaluate you."
Naruto, now holding a swirling Rasengan in one hand while his invisible sage-mode strike lashed out through the environment like nature itself throwing shade, didn't miss a beat.
"Oh, I'm aware," he said, smiling knowingly. "I mean, Starfire and you could've tag-teamed me ages ago. Blue Beetle could've cleared out all my extra clones with that cannon of his. But you didn't."
He flickered behind Superboy with a crackle of golden lightning. "So, since Nightwing decided to turn this into an advanced sparring session, I'm happy to play along. Better than being turned into a punching bag and tossed into the ocean like Beast Boy."
Superboy chuckled—casual, cool, every inch the too-handsome biker teen. "It's good that you understand."
He surged forward, heat vision blazing for a moment—Naruto twisted, using his cloak to deflect the beam just enough to misdirect it into the sea, where a geyser of steam shot into the sky.
Then they were back to close-quarters—fist to fist, shockwave to shockwave. Superboy's strength was raw, like a small-scale Superman, but Naruto had finesse and unpredictability. Invisible sage-mode strikes kept slamming into Superboy's pressure points—unseeable, undodgeable, unfair.
"Seriously, bro," Superboy muttered after getting hit in the ribs by what felt like the wind itself. "Where do you learn this stuff?"
Naruto backflipped, launched a Rasengan, then shadow-stepped behind Superboy as the chakra bomb was deflected. "Oh, you know... 500 years of angry war orphans, ancient fox demons, and some light jogging."
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The good news? Naruto was learning tons from this fight.
The bad news? He was learning it while being punched through a boulder… for the third time.
Superboy stood in the crater he'd accidentally made, cracking his knuckles like he'd just finished tuning up a motorcycle. His jacket fluttered in the shockwaves, and the classic "cool guy smirk" was plastered on his face like it had paid rent.
"You sure you wanna see me go all out?" Superboy asked, floating about ten feet above the ground, surrounded by a faint golden shimmer—his personal sunlight-charged aura of doom. "I mean, you're fast, Naruto, but you're not me fast."
Naruto cracked his neck and gave him a grin that probably made dentists cry in joy. "Yeah, yeah. Enough with the handsome anime protagonist energy. Hit me with your best shot, sunshine boy!"
The air vibrated. Superboy blurred forward—one second he was lounging midair, the next he was toe-to-toe with Naruto. A shockwave kicked up behind him like a sonic boom tripping on caffeine. He went for a haymaker.
Naruto ducked it.
The ground where he'd just stood evaporated.
"Welp," Naruto muttered, flickering several feet away with a burst of chakra-infused speed. "Guess this is happening."
From that moment, it was a blurfest. Superboy zipped across the battlefield at 2/3 the speed of light, punching, blocking, and occasionally leveling trees with his sheer momentum. Naruto, moving at 1/3 the speed of light, relied on chakra limbs, split-second Sage Mode danger sense, and unpredictable clone-fu to keep up.
A chakra arm sprouted from Naruto's back and launched a Rasengan directly into Superboy's ribs—only for it to crash harmlessly into a golden telekinetic force field.
"Oh come on!" Naruto yelped as he was uppercutted into orbit.
He flipped mid-air, summoned two clones mid-spin, and all three streaked back down like chakra-powered meteors. They struck in unison—one aimed low, one high, one from behind.
Superboy spun like a breakdancer, blocking all three with his telekinesis. "Nice try."
But Naruto smirked. "Oh, I'm just getting started."
Suddenly, the forest dimmed. The sunlight… dulled.
Superboy blinked.
"…Hey. Why is it cloudy?" he asked, squinting up at the sky.
Naruto stood calmly on a tree branch, hands in a very smug sage sign. "Fun fact: when you can manipulate nature, it's not hard to ask the local trees and wind spirits to form a very polite anti-sunlight intervention."
Above, thick clouds swirled unnaturally, creating a dome of shadow around the battlefield. Even the leaves on the trees shifted, angling to block any lingering light. The forest whispered like it was in on the prank.
Superboy's golden aura flickered.
He frowned. "Oh. That's dirty."
Naruto beamed. "Yup. Welcome to my ninja world, solar panel boy."
As Superboy's movements slowed just a fraction, Naruto pressed the advantage. Clone after clone erupted from the shadows, each striking from wild angles. Some used Sage Mode invisible strikes—nature itself slapping Superboy upside the head with vines and gusts of wind. Others wove in between attacks, providing distractions, fake-outs, and enough banter to fill a convention panel.
Superboy blasted some back with eye-lasers and forcewaves—but he was noticeably straining now, relying on stored solar energy.
"You planned this, didn't you?" he grunted, catching a chakra limb only for another Rasengan to explode behind him.
Naruto skidded past, leaving a trail of cracked earth. "Yep. Nightwing's little chessboard strategy was cute, but if I'm gonna fight Superman Jr., I gotta think outside the solar box."
The next punch Naruto landed had a lot more force than the last. Superboy actually slid back.
"…Okay," he said, panting, "that one tickled."
Naruto gave him a foxy grin. "That's the goal! Don't worry—just a little longer and you'll be on energy-saving mode."
Superboy raised an eyebrow. "You mean you're depowering me with tree shade?"
"I prefer the term eco-friendly battle efficiency," Naruto said.
Another clone exploded into a lightning-enhanced Rasengan, this time slamming Superboy into a rock wall. For a brief moment, he stayed there, embedded like a very confused poster.
Then he laughed. "Man, this is actually kinda fun."
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If Naruto's clone had a bucket list, "getting blasted into orbit by a half-Kryptonian in shades" probably wasn't on it. But hey, life comes at you fast—especially when your opponent moves at two-thirds the speed of light.
The battle had been going on long enough that birds had relocated, satellites were probably twitching nervously, and at least three local weather systems had formed and dispersed thanks to shockwaves alone.
Naruto's clone, powered up with sage mode, chakra arms, and more tricks than a stage magician with ADHD, stood tall in the sky—well, as tall as someone can stand on wind and chakra platforms while sparring a solar-powered alien.
Across from him, floating like the poster child for "cool older brother who rides a motorcycle and definitely has a mixtape," was Superboy—shirt slightly torn, arms crossed, and glowing faintly from the sunlight he had soaked up like a tan-hungry cat.
"Wanna go full power?" Naruto's clone said, grinning like someone who just ordered the spiciest thing on the menu.
Superboy cracked his knuckles. "You asked for it."
The world blurred.
One moment Naruto was mid-air, the next—WHAM!—a fist slammed into his side, launching him like a ragdoll into a nearby mountain.
Crack! Boom! RUMBLE! The mountain regretted existing.
Before the clone could fully stand up, ZOOM, Superboy was behind him, grabbing his shoulder and SLAMMING him into the ground. Not the ground below—a new one formed in mid-air from raw pressure alone.
Naruto used chakra arms to lash out in a flurry of Rasengans from all directions, each one spinning with nature-enhanced fury. One grazed Superboy's cheek—and that was it. The rest? Dodged like someone who played DDR on Expert Mode.
POW! A blow to the chest.
ZING! A heat vision blast to the side.
THUMP! Another gut punch that sent Naruto spiraling.
SLAM! He went down like a shooting star crashing into a mountain range. The explosion shook trees into winter early.
But Naruto wasn't done. His chakra limbs caught him mid-fall, swinging back up with a whirling vortex of wind chakra—an invisible attack meant to strike from behind. But Superboy sensed it. Or maybe he just felt the shift in air molecules. Either way, he spun mid-air, caught the invisible attack with a telekinetic shield, and countered with a blast of pure forcefield shockwave.
"Alright," Superboy said with a lopsided grin, "Time to wrap this up before this gets embarrassing."
He blurred forward.
Phase One: Elbow strike to Naruto's jaw—sending him upward.
Phase Two: Spin-kick mid-air that launched the clone horizontally.
Phase Three: Telekinetic slam—Superboy didn't even touch him, just willed him downward into the clouds.
Phase Four: Grabbed his ankle and rocketed upward like a missile, the stratosphere tearing around them.
"I hope you had fun," Superboy said, his sunglasses somehow still perfectly on his face despite Mach speeds.
Then… BOOM!
A full-charged heat vision blast, solar heat condensed into a pinpoint beam, burst from his eyes and hit the clone point-blank. The chakra screamed. The sage mode flared—then fizzled. The clone exploded into mist and shimmering chakra shards.
The sky echoed with the sound of raw power unleashed.
Superboy floated there, a silhouette against space, then slowly descended back to Earth like the ending of a superhero movie.
With a flick of his wrist, he adjusted his sunglasses.
"Cool clone," he muttered. "But I'm still the real deal."
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Starfire:
If there was one thing Naruto Uzumaki wasn't used to, it was hitting someone with a Rasenshuriken the size of Mount Fuji and having them casually walk through it like it was a summer breeze.
Welcome to Starfire Problems™.
The orange-skinned alien princess floated midair like a glowing goddess of atomic sunshine. Her hair was a living flame, her eyes burned green like neon kryptonite, and her smile? Way too cheerful for someone currently tanking jutsu strong enough to send continental landmasses to early retirement.
Naruto hovered across from her, covered in scuffs, a little singed, and looking like someone who'd just learned water was flammable.
"So," Starfire said sweetly, deflecting a Tailed Beast Bomb with her palm, "you mentioned you were strong?"
Naruto winced. "Yeah, I uh… I was strong back home."
Starfire twirled midair, catching a high-speed Rasenshuriken with a solar barrier and eating it like a popcorn kernel. "You're adorable. Do continue."
He grinned despite himself. "Oh, I'm trying. Believe me, I'm trying."
To be fair, it started out okay. Starfire had matched his speed at the beginning, maybe even held back a bit for the sake of politeness—which was adorable in a "please stop smiling while you vaporize my attacks" kind of way. Naruto's skill carried him early: clones, trick angles, chakra feints, shadow feints, elemental shifts. He was fighting like a grandmaster ninja possessed by a hyperactive blender.
But then Starfire decided to stop playing nice.
With a casual power-up, her speed kicked up by fifty percent, and Naruto felt it immediately. One second, she was mid-dodge, and the next she was behind him, tapping his shoulder like a playful schoolgirl before dropkicking him through a mountain.
He crashed, bounced, flipped, then blurred right back into the sky. His face said ninja fury, but inside, he was calculating and sweating.
"I'm going to need… a bigger jutsu."
And thus began the fireworks.
Naruto unleashed everything. Sage Mode flickers. Shadow clone battalions. Wind-style barrage. A triple-layered Rasenshuriken powered by Kurama's chakra that could erase a mountain range—and he threw it like a baseball pitcher on his third espresso shot.
Starfire caught it. With one hand. Then sneezed.
Boom.
The countryside vanished. Naruto floated there, mouth open.
"Bless me," Starfire said.
Naruto coughed. "Okay. New rule. You're not allowed to be charming while casually ignoring my most dangerous attacks."
Starfire giggled—and then Naruto launched a Bijuudama.
The sky went white. The planet shook. Birds, if there were any left in the radius, probably reconsidered their life choices.
She emerged from the smoke, glowing even brighter. Not a scratch on her.
"I can survive a planetary explosion, you know," she said helpfully.
Naruto's eye twitched. "Could've led with that."
She winked. "You're doing your best! It's just… not enough."
Oof.
He took a moment, inhaling deeply as he floated with his arms crossed. "Okay. That's fair. I just… don't have a planet destroyer in my back pocket, you know?"
"Well," Starfire said, charging a bolt of searing star-energy in her hand, "perhaps you should get one?"
Note to self: Naruto needed way bigger explosions.
—
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Naruto had just popped the last of his clones like balloons at the end of a very aggressive birthday party. With the usual headache of "information overload" pounding through his skull and enough sensory input to write a doctoral thesis on Superhuman Physiology and the Importance of Not Getting Vaporized, he finally had a plan.
"Okay," he muttered, massaging his temples. "So, she's solar-powered. Like a really hot, slightly less smug version of Superboy. Got it."
Cue the lightbulb moment. If she needs solar energy to stay super, then maybe it's time to play cosmic shade master.
With a quick hand sign and a grin that screamed "science experiment gone rogue," Naruto tapped into the nature of the world around him. The sun above dimmed just slightly—only noticeable if you were a Tamaranean who ran on star juice and hadn't had her breakfast photons yet.
Starfire blinked. "Did the sun just… hiccup?"
Naruto smirked. "Oops. Must've been a solar burp. Hope you didn't need that."
At the same time, he dialed up the local gravity around Starfire like he was pressing the "difficulty increase" button in a video game. Her movement slowed—not drastically, but enough to make her flying look like she was wading through caramel. Meanwhile, he turned his own gravity off entirely, turning himself into a golden blur of chakra and speed.
"Now we're even again," he called out, zipping around her like an over-caffeinated hummingbird. "No more holding back!"
To her credit, Starfire didn't panic. She just sighed. "Why are Earth boys always so dramatic?"
"Because we don't glow and shoot lasers from our hands," Naruto quipped. "We've got to overcompensate!"
But speed wasn't enough. Not when she still shrugged off his hits like they were mosquito bites. Her durability was on a whole different level. The Rasenshuriken had barely singed her hair, the Bijuu Bombs tickled, and the lasers—well, let's just say she yawned through a chakra blast that could've turned the Sahara into a crater.
Then Kurama chimed in. "Combine them. Rasenshuriken. Bombs. Beam. Stack them like chakra pancakes."
Naruto's grin widened in a way that usually meant someone was about to regret everything. "Let's make something shiny, explosive, and extremely irresponsible."
What came next was something that probably violated about seventeen intergalactic treaties.
First came the skyscraper-sized Rasenshuriken, a glowing buzzsaw of death that hummed with the threat level of a planetary disaster. Then—because subtlety was dead—he summoned twelve Bijuu Bombs to rotate around it like angry moons in a chakra hurricane.
From the ground, it looked like a god had just tossed a chakra disco ball at the sky.
And while that mini apocalypse soared toward Starfire, Naruto crouched and began charging a beam. A big one. The kind of beam that makes scientists scream and satellites go blind.
The Rasenshuriken hit first, creating a shockwave that bent trees and probably caused at least two volcanoes to nervously consider early retirement. Before the smoke cleared, Naruto unleashed the beam from below.
A torrent of raw energy roared upward, piercing the sky like a second sun being born in the wrong direction. It sliced through the atmosphere, sizzled past orbit, and—if left unchecked—was about two seconds away from giving the moon a complimentary crater.
And then…
WHOOSH!
Green Lantern Hal Jordan arrived like someone late to a fire drill and casually blocked the beam with a giant green shield, whistling like it was just another Tuesday.
"Easy there, sunshine," Hal said through the communicator. "We like our moon round, not Swiss-cheesed."
Up in the Watchtower, Batman didn't even blink. "Nightwing, tell them to dial it down."
Nightwing, lounging in a tree with binoculars and a snack, tapped his earpiece. "Hey, Star, our new friend's trying to terraform the moon again."
Starfire turned mid-fight and gave Naruto a deadpan look. "Please do not throw planet-ending attacks without a proper warning."
Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "Right. Sorry. I was trying to make an impression."
She smiled. "You certainly did."
Somewhere in the background, a seismologist fainted.
--------------------------------
Space. The final frontier.
Or, as Naruto put it:
"Big empty place with no ramen shops and too much floating."
But hey, it did make a pretty great training arena.
After their last little "oops-I-might-have-blown-up-a-continent" moment, Naruto and Starfire agreed that a space-fight was safer for the Earth (and the moon, hopefully). Starfire had asked, very diplomatically, if he could survive up there without, you know, dying.
Naruto grinned and gave her a thumbs-up. "I can make oxygen with chakra. It's just a matter of recycling my breath with some fancy nature transformation. I read it in a scroll once."
Starfire blinked. "That is… oddly practical."
And with that, they shot into orbit.
Now, most people would describe fighting in space as disorienting. There's no sound, no up or down, and the Earth just kind of floats behind you like a big blue spectator. But Naruto? He adapted fast.
The fight started with a flash—literally. Starfire launched herself forward, fist glowing with enough solar juice to vaporize a mountain. Naruto sidestepped mid-air (or mid-vacuum?) and poofed a clone into existence with a flick of his finger.
Starfire's punch collided with the clone's face.
Boom.
Clone gone.
But that was just bait.
From behind, another clone elbowed her in the back. Then two more appeared on her left and right, grabbing her arms. Naruto himself shot from below, spinning with a Rasengan—not fully charged, just enough to disorient. He slammed it into her stomach and sent her tumbling backward into the blackness.
"Good one!" Starfire called out through her comm. She wasn't even mad. In fact, she looked delighted. "Your strategy is quite… explosive!"
Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly, even as another six clones popped around him. "Heh. Thanks. I call it Clone-Fu. Trademark pending."
The battle became a dance.
One clone zipped forward, drawing her attention. She chased it—only for it to poof before impact. Another clone appeared directly below her, aiming a spinning kick to the side of her head. Poof. Gone. But it shifted her momentum just enough for two other clones to launch Naruto himself from behind like a rocket-propelled cannonball.
He smashed into her with a chakra-infused punch that sent her spiraling through an asteroid field.
"You're hard to hit!" she shouted, smiling brightly even as she spun.
"You're hard to damage!" Naruto shot back, flipping into another hand-seal combo. "Seriously, I've fought people who've turned into giant monsters, and you're still more durable!"
Another flurry of clones surged forward like a glowing school of fish. Some exploded into smoke mid-tackle, forcing her to twist, rotate, and counterattack wildly. But Naruto was moving differently now.
He had removed gravity from himself, making him light as a feather. He could accelerate without resistance, darting around like a kunai shot from every direction at once. Meanwhile, Starfire—now weighed down with an artificial gravity field courtesy of Naruto's nature manipulation—was having a harder time keeping up.
Still, she was learning.
Naruto noted how her movements started to sharpen, how she adjusted her solar energy to burst in short jets from her feet and shoulders, helping her counter the gravity. She was syncing her breathing with chakra timing, analyzing his patterns with warrior discipline.
"Your technique is beautiful," she told him mid-spin, parrying five clones and kicking through another's chest. "Like watching a thousand minds move in harmony. A battlefield ballet."
Naruto turned red.
No seriously. Actually red. Chakra flickered uncontrollably around him for a second as he forgot to breathe.
"W-Wha? No one's ever said that before," he mumbled, completely distracted. One of his clones got punched in the face and exploded a second too early, making the combo fizzle.
Starfire tilted her head. "Has no one appreciated your artistry before?"
"Mostly people yell 'cheater!' or 'stop spamming clones!' or 'OH NO NOT ANOTHER ONE!'"
Still, despite being ragdolled—flung left and right, up and down (well, whatever "up" was in space)—Starfire wasn't even scratched. Naruto's hits landed, his combos were elegant, and the coordination was flawless, but… she was built different.
Tamaranian physiology, apparently, came with an upgrade package that included "can survive a planet explosion and still look fabulous."
Naruto finally called his clones back with a hand sign, panting slightly. "Okay. So… I can outfight her. I just can't hurt her. That's fair, right?"
Kurama's voice snorted in his head. Fair's got nothing to do with it, brat. You're fighting a solar-powered space princess. Count your blessings.
"What?" Starfire replied innocently. "Did you say something?"
"Uh—nope. Just talking to my inner demon. As you do."
She grinned. "How charming."
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By the time they regrouped, Naruto's clones were all gone—blown away earlier by Superboy's haymakers, Wonder Girl's golden lasso, and Miss Martian's psychic sneak attacks.
Naruto hovered in front of Starfire, chest rising and falling with effort, but his eyes still locked on her. Not as an enemy. As a fellow warrior.
"You can't win, and I can't knock you out," he said, voice somewhere between admiration and exhaustion.
"That is true," Starfire agreed, brushing some floating hair out of her face.
"So we call it a draw?"
"I believe so," Starfire said, holding out her hand with royal poise.
Naruto nodded and tapped her hand with his fist. "Draw."
Back on Earth...
Barbara was still catching her breath. She had been running, flipping, out-sassing and barely surviving an army of clones who treated her more like a fun mini-game than a target.
She looked at Naruto, who was now radiating calm, his cloak of chakra energy still swirling around him like he was ready to start Round Seventy at any moment.
"Are you ever going to come out of battle mode?" she wheezed.
Naruto shook his head. "This is my training. I'm staying like this for a while."
Barbara groaned and flopped onto the grass. "Of course you are."
Up in the trees, Nightwing chuckled, sending a message to the Watchtower. "Yeah, they're done. Tell Hal the moon's safe… for now."
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Lagoon Boy sat on a rock with all the charm of a soggy tuna sandwich, arms crossed and gills puffing slightly in indignation. He stared at the ground like it had personally betrayed him. Because clearly, being blasted into the ocean by a bijuu-enhanced Rasenshuriken wasn't his fault—it was gravity's.
Naruto hovered nearby, glowing faintly with residual chakra, his battle mode still active. The air around him shimmered with heat and chakra particles, and his gravity field still hummed faintly, causing pebbles near his boots to vibrate. He hadn't even turned it off. Casual.
"I had a plan, you know," Lagoon Boy muttered.
Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly. "You were great, man. Honestly, you dodged two of my clones. That's... two more than most people."
Lagoon Boy groaned louder.
Beast Boy, on the other hand, was bouncing around in full monkey form, doing cartwheels while humming what sounded suspiciously like the Naruto opening theme. He somersaulted to a stop next to the blond and gave him a fanged grin.
"Dude! That giant fox thing? So cool! Like, nine tails of nightmare-fluff awesome. I'm gonna totally try morphing into it someday. Think people would freak out?"
Naruto blinked. "Uhh… if you can turn into Kurama, I think Kurama might freak out."
From inside, Kurama snorted. Let him try. I dare him.
Jaime Reyes, the Blue Beetle, walked over with a small limp and a tired smile. The scarab muttered something in a language Naruto didn't know, but Jaime translated with a shrug. "He says you're a walking supernova and possibly an interdimensional threat."
Naruto grinned. "Aw, thanks."
"But seriously, thanks for the spar, hermano," Jaime added. "It wasn't exactly even, but... maybe next time we try something a little more balanced?"
"Sure," Naruto said, offering a fist bump, which Jaime returned with a tired thud. "I'll keep it to shadow clones and minimal planetary destruction."
"Appreciated."
Bumblebee floated in next, her wings buzzing faintly. Despite the fact that half the trees around the training ground were charred or slightly melted, she looked more curious than annoyed.
"Okay, so you can literally manipulate gravity and weather? That's a whole branch of quantum physics we just skip, huh?"
Naruto blinked. "I mean, I use nature chakra. So… yeah?"
"I want to run tests on your chakra. And your aura. Maybe your blood."
Naruto stepped back. "Maybe not my blood."
She laughed. "Just kidding. Kind of. But seriously, you ever wanna learn more about the science behind your powers, or need help refining your control systems, hit me up. Nature manipulation with scientific precision could be revolutionary."
Naruto nodded, actually intrigued. "Sure! I mean, I do like learning... especially if it means I can get even better."
"That's the spirit."
Across the field, Starfire floated down beside Nightwing, who had been sitting in his favorite broody-tree spot this whole time. She touched down softly and looked back at Naruto with a proud smile that somehow managed to not be flirty at all—just warm.
"He fights with passion," she said. "And strategy. It reminds me of Tamaran."
Nightwing gave her a small smile. "You liked him."
"I respect him," she corrected, her voice firm but kind. "He is like me in many ways… though far more dramatic."
Nightwing raised an eyebrow. "More dramatic than you?"
"Only slightly," she replied with a playful smirk. "But I'm glad I fought him. His power is overwhelming, but his heart remains light."
Naruto, catching her words, waved awkwardly from a few meters away. "You're not… y'know… gonna flirt or anything, right? No offense!"
Starfire blinked. Then laughed—loud and joyful.
"Oh no. I am in love with Nightwing. He is my fiancé." She flew over and gave Nightwing a kiss on the cheek for confirmation.
Naruto exhaled like someone had taken a massive weight off his shoulders. "Phew. Good. People have been weird lately."
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Naruto stood in the middle of the smoking crater they now called a training ground, his orange cloak flickering like a bonfire that had grown a personality—and a big ego.
The others were still brushing off dust, stretching sore limbs, and pretending they hadn't just gotten steamrolled by a blond whirlwind with chakra-enhanced everything and a nine-tailed monster on speed dial.
Naruto turned toward the trio of Batkid elites—Batgirl, Robin, and Nightwing—hands on hips, radiating the kind of chaotic confidence that usually preceded an explosion or an unsolicited life lesson.
"You know," he said, half amused and half challenging, "you guys should really arm yourselves better. I mean, no offense, but I didn't even feel most of your hits. You need something that can actually scratch me. Can't you get weapons on the same level as that?" He jerked a thumb toward Wonder Girl's lasso, which still crackled with divine sassiness.
Cassie smirked, her ponytail swaying like it was in on the joke. "Are you interested in it?"
Naruto blinked. Then he smiled—a dangerous, unhinged kind of smile that said, Watch this dumb idea happen in real time. He pulled out a kunai, spun it around like he was auditioning for a ninja-themed circus, then stabbed it clean into his palm.
CRACK.
The metal exploded into glittering shards that pinged off his cloak and hit the ground with sad little clinks. Everyone stared. Batgirl actually winced.
"Okay," Naruto muttered, inspecting the now very kunai-less hand. "That was dramatic. But you get the point."
He turned his palm outward, letting the shards fall like confetti at a depressing party. "I need something better. These things," he said, flicking his fingers at the remains, "are practically paperweights now. Chakra enhancement can only take them so far. If the base material isn't strong enough to begin with, it's pointless. I'm burning through them like snacks."
Nightwing crossed his arms, expression thoughtful. He had that look on his face—the one he got when someone mentioned explosive gel or grappling hook upgrades. "We'll let the League know about your… recommendations. Good ones, by the way."
Then he held up a gloved finger like a teacher about to give a pop quiz. "But just so you know, we do have specialized high-tech armor. Personal suits for when we're dealing with someone on your level. Situations like this? Total training mode. If we'd gone full tech—"
"—this would've turned into a newbie bullying situation," Batgirl finished, deadpan.
Naruto raised an eyebrow. "So… you're telling me I've been sparring against the training wheels version of Gotham's finest?"
Robin muttered, "Don't get cocky."
Too late.
Nightwing continued, "Anyway, as for your weapons, that's up to the Justice League now. They've seen everything. You made an impression. Whether it was a good one or not… well, they'll decide. Maybe you'll end up on the JL roster."
"Unlikely," Superboy scoffed, arms crossed, hovering slightly above the ground like a grumpy hoverboard. "He's too childish."
"Ahem," came Beast Boy's voice, raising one green finger while leaning against the wall like a sitcom sidekick. "The Flash is literally on the Justice League. Not exactly Mister Stoic himself."
"Thank you!" Naruto threw his hands in the air. "Someone gets it. I'm fun. Not childish. There's a difference!"
"Tell that to the kunai you just kamikazed through your palm," Batgirl said under her breath.
Jaime raised his hand hesitantly. "Uh, is this the part where we all pretend this was a normal spar and not a mini-apocalypse in disguise?"
"You're catching on quick, Blue," Bumblebee muttered, arms crossed, still brushing soot from her hair.
Naruto clapped his hands together, grin returning full force. "Alright! I'll be waiting for those weapon upgrades. If they send me a baseball bat, I'm sending it back with a tailed beast bomb inside."
"You're what now—" Robin started, but Nightwing clapped a hand on his shoulder.
"Don't ask. It'll only encourage him."
Cassie chuckled, wrapping her lasso back onto her belt. "Well, if you ever do get JL-level gear, Naruto... just try not to break those, okay?"
"No promises," he winked. "But hey, at least then it'll be their problem."