Personally I never felt I'm worth anything I'm not a talented person nor did I ever truly worked hard for anything not because I don't care but more so because I don't know what I truly wanted sure my life may be picture perfect never truly lacking anything except I stopped moving forward
I always suppressed my emotions not for any particular but because I didn't know how to face always burying them or find a way to distract myself away from them by the time by the time I realized something was wrong inside me I feel like it is already too late as all I ever did was survive not living as the world we live in is not simple
This world of ours sure is cruel and beautiful. Things aren't that simple that you can truly be naive to believe that hard work will be enough to get us where we wanted. It is scary when you know you can fail and be disappointed from failing your expectations we aren't perfect that we can live without them although it will be easier to just go with the flow in other words follow the rules. If you don't expect anything you won't be hurt but can it truly be called living.
Living is not about being alive going through motions as we continue to walk towards death but the act of leaving our own mark in this world don't do things just for the sake of it although life is inherently meaningless it is about how we give it meaning and become unique although everyone is the same and nothing is new under the sun.
The world is another word for everything that matters this time I will see and live through it promising myself not to lose it again if I could go back to the past and relive my life I would do it no no matter the price
Suddenly everything around me stopped moving and the world turned grey and I heard someone asking me are you sure?
Although I don't know who it was but I agreed after all a chance to change my life feels like something that only happens in fictional world and for my own sake
"People hate the word sacrifice, to them it means pain, pain and suffering and anguish. But sacrifice, true sacrifice is more of an exchange. You part with something invaluable and hope to gain something irreplaceable. True sacrifice is courage. The courage to offer your heart for the chance of a soul and it is always selfish. Because you cannot be selfless without a self. Living is not the act of going through life, but of re-affirming yourself and moving forward without hesitation. Even when knowing every step brings you closer to death. You have a choice to make. Sacrifice and all the pain and suffering in the world. Or nothing and the embrace of apathy and loneliness. When you wake up in the morning, each morning, ask yourself; what am I willing to sacrifice today?"
Failing to understand the simplest things and what really mattered I have many chances and opportunities yet I wasted them all fortunately I am given a second chance not as Hayashi Ryouta is given a second chance to make things right for myself
Being given another chance going back in time as a younger version of myself in a parallel world and live without as many regrets as possible but there is a catch as a girl named Hayashi Ayano and this is my story this time for me with a life is mostly grey not to say depressed or anything but that I lack interest on most things in the world not quite in touch with my emotions i can't say i'm a good person but at very least not a bad person so this time I will live not just be staying alive promising to hold onto my everything for whose world was grey
I won't be a social person but definitely a decent one just because I changed gender don't mean I will change at my core but I won't stay the same either as things aren't very straightforward as most people think even more so as the opposite sex and you also need to factor in account although the mind and body is independent but they are also interdependent to each other
In simple terms the mind affects the body and vice versa there is no perfect answer in life it ultimately boils down what exactly do you want or desires and how you act although it may sound selfish I will let loose as it is healthier way of living not to mention
As much as people don't like it people only truly grow in adversity or outside their comfort zone otherwise it is easy to get stagnant not to say you should get used to it but accepting it as a natural part of life
Only after overcoming them can a person truly grow and break past their own limits becoming strong isn't so much about physical and academic abilities but the heart
Self acceptance is always the first step both the good and the bad to not feel empty dive deep enough to enter self realization learning to be selfish and rebuilding oneself
A person can be considered as a puzzle as we grow up and live life it becomes more complete but things are not as straightforward as that as we can also lose the core part of the puzzle which has been with you since you are born our ego and instinct which is the originalilty that makes us unique so there are things and times makes feel incomplete and empty but keep moving with life being hard and meaningless
To achieve this I should just enjoy my life moving at my own pace even if it would not be picture perfect without regrets and rather selfish because this is the way I want to live my life not as the person I was before but the to the person that I would become and say goodbye to the world that seems grey as there is no perfect answer on how to live life and achieve happiness but more importantly as a human being
"There isn't just one answer, for one thing. We aren't God. We'll never know what was right -and what was the right answer- for our whole lives. But even if we don't know, we just have to keep looking."