Last year, when Sylvan Cheney was living together with her, she considered being with him earnestly, so although he hurt her many times, she brushed it off with a smile.
He said many hurtful things, also hurting Yukon, yet precisely because she hoped to be together, when he bought her a bouquet of yellow roses, she accepted.
She took many steps back, retreating again and again.
Until she found there was no way back, standing already on the brink.
When she wrote letters to Yukon Carbon, it was always with ease, because Yukon had never burdened her with anything; meeting him, his sacrifices far outweighed hers. Even when she returned to Cakago after becoming pregnant, he didn't ask a thing, still treating her kindly.
In others' eyes, she was pregnant out of wedlock, entangled ambiguously with a man, but he never judged her that way.
She knew of his kindness to her.
And precisely because of this, she wouldn't hurt him again; keeping distance was taking responsibility for him.
