He took a deep breath and averted his eyes, searching with them for nothing in particular... his gaze unfocused like the troubled man that he was. Miss L raised a somewhat hesitant hand and squeezed his shoulder assuringly and when their eyes met, he saw a safe space in them to let it all out. He shook his head as if to rid himself of an unwanted thought that somehow amused him.
"There should be somewhere comfortable in this hospital where we can at least sit comfortably" she said scanning her eyes across the hall and spotted the VIP waiting room. They followed each other to the couches and settled on opposite sides, facing each other.
"How did we end up so pitifully" Snr Mr Simons asked in self mock. In his long years of existence, he couldn't have imagined himself to lose everything so quickly. It all came crashing down like the fall of leaves during a seasonal change in autumn. The great Fall.
"He is stronger than you know" she saw the look in his face and hastened to say "Nick that is..."
"It feels like it was just yesterday that he was a small boy who only had to worry about his missing sock and scream his lungs out, driving his mother insane with the noise because nomatter how many times he found it in the morning while running late for his preschool, we would still have the same issue the next Monday. One of his favourite socks will turn up with the rest of his laundry while the other went MIA" he smiled fondly at the memory as if its the only thing that makes sense and she felt as though she could grasp the meaning of his words although she couldn't truly grasp the full meaning behind the emotions... no one could blame her, she was after all without a child of her own.
"How could you live with someone for a very long time and still not fully know who they are..."
"Don't be too hard on yourself. None of this reflects as a result of anything you did wrong" she tried to comfort.
"How could I have been so blind... so negligent" it seemed he just wanted to vent so the counselor in Miss L had to come forth seeing the pitiful state that the old man was in made her heart ache just a little. They didn't always see eye to eye with her daughter's mother in law but she knew the woman had family that loved her and she loved the men in her life just as dearly and couldn't do anything but accept Sally as part of her family too. She understood the fears of an old woman who fears having her daughter in law drive a wedge between a mother and son until the point of no return so Miss L concluded that Snr Mrs Simons was striking first to avoid such predicaments. It was an unspoken fact that everyone in the family knew that Sally wasn't that kind of person to ruin a working relationship especially between a mother and child and even if she was that person, they could've trusted fate to change her character when years went by without being blessed with a child in her marriage with Nick. The conversation was bound to be sour and somewhat awkward seeing as the two adults had some unresolved feelings that seem too much of a taboo to even tread in their direction.
Inside the hospital. Sally tried her best to look hopeful and cheerful for her husband but it wasn't enough to lessen the ache in her heart. She kept questioning the unfolding of the events without gaining much clarity on either of them. She couldn't cry much for her mother in law but she knew the old lady dotted on her son with all her might so it was only natural that Nick would be scarred by his mother's sudden passing. The only reason this death made her heart ache was the effect it had on her husband. She took his hand and squeezed it lovingly and when he turned to look at his wife, he saw the complex emotions in her eyes. The love, the pain, the confusion... it was all there.
"My strong beautiful wife" he uttered when he saw tears gather at the seams of her eyes.
"Shhh... don't say anything" but he saw the smile he was hoping to get rewarded with, although it was a bit teary but he got his wife's courageous smile in the end. It soothed his heart like a healing balm. She knew he was making an effort for her and she loved him all the more for that. The look in their eyes said all that their mouth couldn't say. They longed to see their daughter, even if it's just a lifeless body. They would eventually accept.
"Any luck yet?" he asked half hopeful even as his heart already broke a little further from the look in his wife's face.
"Why won't she even call? Just to let my heart calm down even just a little... to assure me that im not crazy, that im not completely losing it" Sally whined bitterly. "When can you come back home?" she suddenly asked. He smiled reassuringly at his wife and held her hand comfortingly.
"Soon, but you need to go first and check on our pharmacy. We can't afford to lack customer service, especially at a time like this" he swiftly diverted the conversation to a safer plateau.
"I can give Dre a phone call. You already know he would've already made a fuss by now if something wasn't okay at the pharmacy" she looked at him suspiciously because she knew her ever so thoughtful husband was trying to act strong and invincible just to shoo her away so she doesn't witness his suffering, but he was down on his luck judging by the look in her eyes.
So he tried again, "My back feels a little sore I think I need to rest it for a while" and she was successfully convinced to go back home for a while.
"I will take mom and dad too, but we will definitely be back so don't get too relaced" and she actually winked at him. Nick groaned frustratedly at his wife's provocative action during his most vulnerable time so he kept himself in check before closing his eyes to rest.
........
She received stares with every step she took, she was totally indifferent to the words underlying those stares. She didn't care. It didnt matter anyway, they are always judging no matter how pretty you doll yourself up. She had been walking for hours without rest and her body protested with every breath she took, her joints were cranky but she kept pushing herself forward. This was her fate but she made some choices too and she wasn't about to back out now. She was tired of being lied to, being dictated and having things forced upon her without her consent. She was about to let loose a little and put her own happiness above all else. Who told people to believe in saints and good Samaritans? She was definitely none of those things. Since the universe took so much from her, why couldn't she get a little token for shouldering the choices that were already set before her subconscious could even decide on what to do about them? Her life felt a little too coerced so she was going to push her luck, as far as she could to see if the old man will finally emerge from the shadows, that's what a gamble was... four sides of the same shape!