Chapter 315 — What Remains
Morning comes without light.
The sky is gray when Brook opens his eyes, but there is no sunrise behind it. Clouds have covered everything, thick and low, pressing against the horizon until the world appears smaller than it did the night before.
For several seconds, Brook doesn't move.
He lies beneath the stone overhang with his back against the cold ground, staring upward.
He remembers the road.
He remembers the room.
He remembers the baby.
He remembers Adrian.
Elena.
Crowley.
The Maker.
The seal.
The hand inside his father's chest.
His mother's body collapsing.
The fire.
Silvet.
The ash.
Brook closes his eyes.
The memories do not disappear.
They become clearer.
He sits up.
Across the small camp, Henry is still asleep beside the remains of the fire. Sera is awake, sitting against the wall with her notebook closed across her knees. Gabriel stands near the mouth of the overhang, watching the road.
Crowley is gone.
Brook looks toward the empty space where he had been sitting.
Sera notices.
"He left before dawn."
Brook nods.
"Where?"
"Checking the road."
Brook stands.
His body hurts.
The bruising from the last several days hasn't disappeared. His ribs still ache whenever he breathes too deeply. His shoulder is stiff. There is dried blood along the side of his face from the previous day's fighting.
None of it matters.
He pulls his coat on.
Sera watches him.
"You should eat."
"No."
"You didn't eat last night."
"I know."
"You need to."
Brook looks at her.
"I don't."
Sera closes the notebook.
"That wasn't what I said."
Brook doesn't answer.
He walks toward the road.
Gabriel turns when he approaches.
"You're awake."
"Apparently."
Gabriel studies him.
"You slept three hours."
"That's enough."
"No."
Brook looks toward the trees.
"Crowley?"
"Still out."
"Any movement?"
"Nothing."
Brook nods.
Gabriel watches him for another moment.
"You don't have to pretend."
Brook looks at him.
"Pretend what?"
"That you're unaffected."
Brook's face remains still.
"I am affected."
Gabriel waits.
Brook looks away.
"I just don't know what to do with it."
Gabriel nods slowly.
"That is different."
Brook starts walking.
Gabriel follows.
Neither speaks for a while.
Behind them, Sera watches.
Henry wakes.
He sits up too quickly and nearly falls over.
"Why does everyone keep leaving before breakfast?"
Sera looks at him.
"Because you don't make breakfast."
"I make breakfast."
"You burn water."
"That happened once."
"It happened yesterday."
Henry looks toward the road.
"Where's Brook?"
"Walking."
"Where's Crowley?"
"Walking."
Henry sighs.
"So we're all just walking now."
Sera stands.
"Yes."
Henry looks at the empty fire.
"I hate mornings."
Sera picks up her bag.
"You hate everything before food."
"That is unfair."
"You said yesterday that the apocalypse was easier when you had bread."
Henry considers it.
"That was a reasonable statement."
Sera almost smiles.
Then she sees Brook farther down the road.
Her expression disappears.
Something about the way he walks is wrong.
Not physically.
He isn't limping.
He isn't stumbling.
He simply looks as though he has stopped expecting the road to give him anything.
Sera follows.
Henry comes behind her.
Athena is already ahead.
She stands near the edge of the trees, watching the hills.
Hutena remains beside the stone overhang.
The Book of Future is closed.
She hasn't opened it since yesterday.
When Brook passes her, she speaks.
"Brook."
He stops.
She holds the book tighter.
"I saw something."
He looks at her.
"What?"
She hesitates.
"A road."
"We're on one."
"No."
Her eyes lower.
"Not this one."
Brook waits.
Hutena shakes her head.
"I can't see the next part."
Brook nods.
"Then don't."
He walks away.
Hutena watches him.
Henry catches up.
"What was that?"
"Nothing."
"That sounded like something."
Hutena looks toward Brook.
"It is."
Crowley finds the tracks before noon.
Three sets.
No.
Four.
He crouches beside the road and runs two fingers through the mud.
Fresh.
He looks toward the tree line.
Then toward the group approaching from behind.
Brook sees him.
"What?"
Crowley stands.
"Four."
Gabriel immediately turns toward the woods.
"Distance?"
"Close."
"How close?"
Crowley looks at the tracks.
"Close enough."
Athena steps toward them.
"Which side?"
Crowley points.
"Both."
Henry looks around.
"Both?"
He looks at Sera.
"That sounds bad."
"It is."
Henry draws his sword.
His grip is tighter than usual.
Brook walks past them.
Crowley catches his arm.
"Wait."
Brook stops.
"Four."
"I heard you."
"Then don't walk ahead."
Brook looks at his hand.
Crowley releases him.
Brook looks at the trees.
"You think they'll attack?"
"They're already here."
A branch snaps.
Everyone turns.
Nothing.
Then another.
Gabriel raises his shield.
"Positions."
They move without arguing.
Sera takes the left.
Henry stays near Hutena.
Athena steps forward, lightning crawling briefly across her fingers.
Crowley moves behind Brook.
Brook notices.
"You don't need to."
"I know."
"Then don't."
Crowley looks at him.
"You're not the only one allowed to stand in front."
Brook doesn't answer.
The first soldier comes through the trees.
He wears no insignia.
His armor is dark and patched.
He has a crossbow.
He fires.
Gabriel's shield catches the bolt.
The impact sends a sharp metallic crack through the woods.
Brook moves.
The Devil's Instinct rises immediately.
Heat floods his ribs.
The soldier is twenty feet away.
A clean kill.
Brook sees exactly where to strike.
The thought comes without words.
Break the neck.
He takes one step.
Lucifer's pressure curls through his chest.
Let me.
Brook's hand tightens.
"No."
He changes direction.
Instead of killing the soldier, he grabs the crossbow and twists it away.
The man swings a knife.
Brook catches his wrist.
They struggle.
The soldier is stronger than expected.
Brook drives his forehead into the man's nose.
Blood sprays.
The soldier stumbles.
Brook kicks his knee.
It breaks.
The man collapses.
Brook grabs him by the collar.
"Who sent you?"
The soldier spits blood.
"Too late."
Brook's fist tightens.
"Who?"
The soldier laughs.
"He knows."
Brook's expression changes.
"Who?"
The soldier looks at him.
"The Maker."
Brook freezes.
The soldier reaches for something beneath his armor.
Brook reacts.
He slams the man's hand against the ground.
A small blade falls from his fingers.
The soldier looks at Brook.
"Kill me."
Brook's fist remains raised.
The clean answer is there.
Simple.
Fast.
Easy.
Lucifer presses harder.
Take the obstacle.
Brook breathes.
He looks at the man's broken leg.
Then at his face.
Then at the knife.
He lowers his fist.
"No."
The soldier looks almost disappointed.
Brook stands.
"Bind him."
Sera approaches.
"You're letting him live?"
"Yes."
She looks at Brook.
Then the soldier.
Then back.
"Why?"
Brook doesn't answer.
Sera kneels and binds the man's wrist.
The second attacker arrives before she finishes.
Athena intercepts him.
Lightning tears across the ground.
The attacker is thrown backward.
He hits a tree.
Henry moves to Hutena.
"Stay behind me."
"I am behind you."
"Good."
"You're shaking."
"I know."
"Then stop."
"I can't."
Henry raises his sword.
The third attacker comes from the right.
Gabriel catches him.
Their weapons collide.
The man is fast.
Gabriel is faster.
He disarms him and drives him to the ground.
"Who are you?"
The attacker spits.
Gabriel presses a knee into his shoulder.
"Answer."
Nothing.
Gabriel looks toward Brook.
Brook is staring at the fourth attacker.
There isn't one.
Crowley turns.
"Four tracks."
The woods are empty.
Then Crowley looks down.
A piece of cloth is hanging from a branch.
He takes it.
There is blood on it.
"Four."
Brook looks around.
"One got through."
Crowley nods.
"Find him."
Athena's eyes narrow.
"I'll take the ridge."
Brook moves.
Crowley follows.
They reach the far side of the trees.
Nothing.
Then Brook hears a scream.
He turns.
A child.
Somewhere ahead.
He runs.
Crowley curses and follows.
They break through the trees.
A small house sits in a clearing.
Smoke rises from the roof.
A man stands outside.
The fourth attacker.
He has a child by the throat.
The child cannot be more than seven.
Brook stops.
The attacker smiles.
"There."
Crowley raises his weapon.
"Let him go."
The man tightens his grip.
"Drop it."
Crowley doesn't.
Brook steps forward.
"Let him go."
The attacker looks at him.
"You're the one they want."
"Yes."
"Then come here."
Crowley says, "No."
Brook looks at him.
The man presses a knife against the child's neck.
"Come closer."
Brook walks forward.
Crowley grabs his shoulder.
"Don't."
Brook looks at him.
"He'll kill the boy."
"He wants you."
"I know."
Crowley tightens his grip.
Brook pulls free.
He keeps walking.
The Devil's Instinct rises.
Take the obstacle.
Brook ignores it.
The attacker watches him approach.
"That's right."
Brook stops ten feet away.
"Let him go."
The man laughs.
"You're not negotiating."
"No."
Brook looks at the child.
"I'm giving you one chance."
The attacker shakes his head.
"You don't understand what you are."
Brook's face remains blank.
"I understand enough."
The attacker raises the knife.
Brook moves.
Not toward him.
Toward the child.
The attacker reacts.
Brook catches the knife arm.
The blade cuts his palm.
Blood spills.
Brook twists.
The attacker strikes him in the ribs.
Pain explodes through his body.
Brook nearly falls.
He doesn't.
He drives his elbow into the man's throat.
The attacker releases the child.
Brook catches the boy.
The man reaches for another weapon.
Brook sees the opening.
He could kill him.
He doesn't.
Instead, Brook throws the child toward Crowley.
Crowley catches him.
Brook tackles the attacker.
They hit the ground.
The man punches Brook repeatedly.
Brook takes the blows.
He grabs the man's wrist.
The attacker reaches for his knife.
Brook stops the hand.
For several seconds, they struggle.
Then Brook gets control.
He pins the man.
The man's eyes widen.
"Do it."
Brook's fist hovers above him.
"Do it."
Brook breathes heavily.
The man's face is bleeding.
"Do it."
Brook lowers his fist.
"No."
He stands.
The man stares at him.
Brook turns away.
Crowley is holding the child.
The boy is crying.
Brook walks toward them.
"Are you hurt?"
The child shakes his head.
Brook crouches.
"You're okay."
The boy looks at Brook's bleeding hand.
"You're bleeding."
Brook looks down.
"Yes."
"Does it hurt?"
"Yes."
The boy nods.
For some reason, that makes Brook's throat tighten.
He stands.
Crowley looks at him.
"You chose him."
Brook doesn't answer.
Crowley glances at the attacker.
"You should have killed him."
Brook looks at him.
"Maybe."
Crowley says nothing.
Brook looks at the child.
Then toward the burning house.
"We can't leave him here."
Crowley nods.
"We won't."
They take the boy to the nearest settlement.
The attacker is left bound beneath the tree.
Sera insists on treating him before they go.
Brook doesn't argue.
That surprises her.
She looks at him while wrapping his hand.
"Hold still."
Brook does.
"You're bleeding through the bandage."
"I know."
"Stop saying that."
Brook looks at her.
She ties it tighter.
"You keep saying it like knowing makes things better."
Brook's eyes lower.
"It doesn't."
Sera's hands stop.
She looks at him.
"No."
She finishes the bandage.
"You don't have to explain."
Brook stands.
"I'm not going to."
"I know."
He looks at her.
For a second, neither says anything.
Then Sera says quietly, "You can still be angry."
Brook looks away.
"I am."
"Good."
He walks on.
They reach the settlement before sunset.
The boy's mother is alive.
She runs into the street when she sees him.
The child runs to her.
She drops to her knees and holds him.
Brook stands several yards away.
The mother looks toward him.
"Thank you."
Brook doesn't respond.
She approaches.
Her eyes move to his bloodied hand.
"Was it you?"
Brook nods.
She looks at the others.
"Who are you?"
No one answers.
The mother looks at Brook.
"You saved him."
Brook looks at the child.
"He saved himself."
The mother doesn't understand.
Brook turns away.
They leave the settlement before night.
No one celebrates.
No one thanks them again.
The road closes around them.
The sky becomes dark.
Henry walks beside Brook.
For several minutes, he says nothing.
Then:
"You could've killed him."
Brook keeps walking.
"Yes."
"You didn't."
"No."
Henry looks at him.
"Why?"
Brook thinks about it.
"Because the boy was watching."
Henry's expression changes.
He doesn't ask anything else.
They continue.
Behind them, Crowley hears.
He says nothing.
Gabriel does.
"He made the choice himself."
Crowley looks at him.
"I know."
Gabriel watches Brook.
"That matters."
Crowley looks away.
"It does."
They camp beneath a ruined bridge.
There is no fire.
The air is too cold.
Hutena keeps the Book of Future closed.
Athena sits apart from everyone.
Sera cleans Brook's wound again.
Henry eats the last piece of bread.
Crowley watches the road.
Gabriel watches Brook.
Brook sits against a pillar.
He hasn't spoken in an hour.
Sera finishes wrapping his hand.
"You're done."
Brook nods.
She sits beside him.
"You remember everything."
It isn't a question.
Brook looks ahead.
"Yes."
Sera waits.
"Your parents."
Brook nods.
"Crowley."
Another nod.
"The Maker."
Brook's jaw tightens.
"Yes."
Sera looks at him.
"You don't have to tell me."
"I know."
She looks away.
Henry listens from across the bridge.
He pretends not to.
Gabriel remains standing.
Athena's eyes stay on the darkness.
Crowley says nothing.
Sera speaks again.
"Does it change who you are?"
Brook takes a long time to answer.
"Yes."
Sera looks at him.
"How?"
Brook looks down at his bandaged hand.
"I don't know."
Sera nods.
"That answer is allowed."
Brook almost smiles.
Almost.
Then he says, "He killed them because they chose me."
Sera's expression tightens.
"They chose you before you could choose."
"Yes."
"And you survived."
"Yes."
Brook looks toward the darkness.
"Sometimes that feels wrong."
Sera doesn't try to correct him.
She simply sits beside him.
After a while, Brook says, "I remember the fire."
Sera's eyes lower.
"Silvet."
"Yes."
"What are you going to do?"
Brook looks at her.
"I don't know."
Sera nods.
"Okay."
She doesn't tell him not to.
She doesn't tell him to forgive.
She doesn't tell him revenge won't help.
She knows him well enough to know those words would be useless.
Brook looks at the others.
Henry is pretending not to listen.
Gabriel stands guard.
Athena is alone.
Hutena has the book against her chest.
Crowley is at the edge of the bridge.
Brook watches him.
Crowley feels it and turns.
Their eyes meet.
Brook asks, "Are you afraid of me?"
Crowley doesn't answer immediately.
"No."
Brook waits.
Crowley looks at him.
"I'm afraid of what you will decide."
Brook absorbs that.
"Why?"
"Because you know more now."
Brook looks down.
"I wish I didn't."
Crowley nods.
"So do I."
The words are quiet.
Honest.
Brook looks at him for a long time.
Then he turns away.
Later that night, Brook wakes alone.
He sits up.
Everyone else is asleep.
Except Crowley.
Crowley stands at the mouth of the bridge.
Brook walks toward him.
"You don't sleep."
"Sometimes."
"You weren't."
"No."
Brook stands beside him.
The road is dark.
"You really knew my parents."
"Yes."
"Did you like them?"
Crowley looks ahead.
"Yes."
Brook waits.
"Did you love them?"
Crowley doesn't answer.
Brook looks at him.
Crowley finally says, "They mattered."
Brook accepts that.
"That's enough."
Crowley nods.
Brook looks toward the trees.
"I killed a man today."
Crowley turns.
"He lived."
Brook shakes his head.
"That's not what I mean."
Crowley understands.
"You wanted to."
"Yes."
"Did you?"
"No."
Crowley nods.
Brook looks down at his hands.
"I almost did."
"But you didn't."
Brook's voice becomes quieter.
"What if I do next time?"
Crowley looks at him.
"Then we'll deal with next time."
Brook looks toward him.
"You don't know if you'll be able to stop me."
Crowley doesn't flinch.
"No."
Brook waits.
Crowley continues.
"But I know you won't stop yourself by pretending you don't have the choice."
Brook looks away.
The sentence stays with him.
Then the pressure comes.
Sudden.
Deep.
Brook's chest tightens.
He grabs the stone wall.
Crowley turns immediately.
"Brook?"
Brook can't answer.
His vision blurs.
For a second, he sees something inside himself.
Not a person.
Not a face.
A number.
A ceiling.
Something that had once been full.
Something that is now slightly less.
The feeling disappears.
Brook releases the wall.
Crowley watches him.
"What happened?"
Brook breathes.
"Nothing."
Crowley doesn't believe him.
Neither does Brook.
But neither says anything.
Far above them, the clouds shift.
The moon appears for less than a second.
Then disappears.
Brook looks at the others sleeping beneath the bridge.
He looks at Crowley.
Then at his own hands.
He remembers the child.
The knife.
The clean kill.
The choice not to take it.
Something in him is still there.
Not untouched.
Not safe.
But there.
For now.
He turns toward the road.
"We move at first light."
Crowley nods.
Brook walks back toward the others.
Behind him, Crowley remains standing.
Neither man says what they both understand.
The boy Brook saved is alive.
The soldier Brook spared is alive.
The choice mattered.
But something inside Brook has still fallen.
Not enough for anyone else to see.
Enough for him to feel.
End of Chapter 315