Adam.
It's me. Remember me?
Maybe the last thing you remember about me is my death. And so it is. I'm already dead. But, you will surely ask yourself "how? when? because? Who?"
In the past we earned the hatred of many people because of the person who was my father. A despicable man who used his own son to the point of exhaustion to turn him into his killing machine. Dominick, my brother, who suffered more than anyone. Since nothing that happened to him deserved it.
But through all the turbulence, fears and horrors we were able to get here. We were able to survive. Between us we take care of surviving at all costs. I feel proud of how much of a fighter he was. About the good that my mother planted in me to never give up, to give me the strength.
We left loose ends, bad people who wanted to hurt us. I was brutally murdered by an enemy of Dominick, I gave my life to save him. Because he was already achieving happiness. Even if it was just escaping his reality... All this didn't start here. Started...
♠ Four years ago.
August 31, 2017.
Dominick's happiest day had already arrived. It doesn't take away my suspicions about something about him that made me distrustful. His actions, his attitudes... Everything that happened around him was already very strange. He created a dark aura in me that made me not believe him at all. He was still Dominick, but his mystery is something I have already experienced. Something I've seen before.
That's why I started researching him. His moves and what he did away from home. And he hadn't been able to find anything strange.
Here we are, seeing him consummated in total pride with his best friend. Who a few days ago announced his double wedding with Verónica and the two of them. It makes a spectacular view, the beach, the rumble of the waves against the distant rocks, the relaxing sound of the wind that preached a wonderful day to us today.
I imagined a new dawn, a peace much more wonderful than this one that was taking place here and now. But I felt a falsehood deep down. I couldn't stop thinking about Marco's words, that boy who seemed to be related to something else from the past that I didn't know.
But I wanted to consider everything eliminated. I imagined a time when we were all fine. I managed to see her, and I didn't avoid crying. Mom was here, the moment when my brother took such a big step in his life felt very nice and special. And feel the closeness of my mother, feel so complete. I was in the front row, watching them give their wedding vows, next to me, Mia, Harry, who noticed that I cried a little and rested their hand on my shoulder, I didn't feel alone. It was just a cry of happiness, of pride towards him.
Thank you mom, because you gave me the strength to stay here. Not to give up despite your absence. Not to fall to look after my brother's good. Thank you for everything you did for me, thank you for giving everything in your power. You were and are my favorite angel. You always were, mom.
—Dominick! —someone shouted from afar, far behind. —Dominick come here please!
And what was peace on that day turned into tears. Erik's father took his own life in front of all of us. I ran with Erik and supported him in big hugs, now that he was weak, now that I couldn't even handle him.
—I forgive you dad, you didn't do anything wrong... —Erik told him, caressing his father's face. Who surrounded the entire face with his arms. —Wake up daddy, don't leave me alone. I still need you...
That party ended that day. The day that was supposed to be the most memorable of our lives had gone to shit.
—Tell dad to wake up, Dom! Tell him I need it! —that boy shouted, while looking into my eyes, with his soul destroyed and his hands stained with blood.
She kept hugging him along with Hanler who was crying about the situation with her partner. He felt strong pain for those words of the deceased, at no time did he stop saying how good he felt to have raised Erik, to have been his father and mother. I remember meeting him, but I didn't know he was hiding so much pain in his smile.
We had to assume that he was no longer with us. You had to be strong for Erik, even if it hurt him, it destroyed him. At least he had a father who truly loved him and although he chose the easy way out, he never stopped telling him how good it felt to have him in his life.
That's what a real father does.
Or so I think...
Ethan and Veronica's wedding took place weeks after what happened on August 31. Many weeks passed, seeing how Erik did not accept even his father's funeral, who had left. It was very painful to go through all that together with him, we believed that together we would get ahead. And that's what we tried, whenever we saw him cry, we did what we could to make those tears of pain disappear from his eyes.
Along with this, as the months go by, enjoy the growth of Emily's belly. Everything seemed to be surrounded in peace again, a peace that I soon saw as false. But, I started an investigation alone, it shouldn't raise Dominick's suspicions that I was finding out what I was doing away from home.
We never abandoned Erik, who had not yet left him behind, what happened to his father was a strong shock. Hanler turned sixteen in October.
Almost everything was useless to me. Something always came up. Or most of the time what Dom did didn't make sense. Could it be that he knew I was following him?... no. It's very silly to think that. He acted carefree so as not to attract the attention of Ethan, Hanler, Emily or the others.
Emily, after the birth of little Derian, got a tattoo a little below the slit of her breasts, symbolizing her life struggle with Dom, and on her left arm, her son's name in Arabic. She always said that she did it on her left arm because it connects to the heart and that is where her little one, my nephew, would never come from.
The words of that therapist who made me open my eyes regarding Dom's personality, today I wanted to look for him again, but he is no longer here. He is far away somewhere in Spain and I am here, with many doubts as to why Dominick seems capable of love or so it seems to be.
I need more, I need to know everything.
I need to know if he's lying. I want to know if my brother was cheating on us all this time. I want to believe it's not true, but at this point in the game, nothing surprises me anymore.
What if Dominick is cheating on us?
What if dad is alive and he knows it?
Is Dominick really good?
What if Dad is alive and threatening Dom?
Everything could be happening. I am a world in chaos.
I started working with the police undercover. I could be betraying my family, but I think it's the right thing to do. Specialized agents are working on the case. The deaths have not stopped, they have started again.
There I met Elisa Montesinos, a special agent who was only 25 years old. She was a beautiful woman, to whom I felt an incredible attraction. We made an incredible duo. I came to trust her too much.
She working on the case of a mafia man. An Arab with great power in Spain, we both shared ideas about the problems around us. She became very close.
It's just that I looked at her jet black hair, her tan skin, her smile... her laughter... When I heard her laugh everything restarted. She really liked being by my side because I relaxed the atmosphere of tension that surrounded her. He was facing a very serious case and along with me it became more bearable for him. When I was by her side I felt safe, I felt full of courage, I felt big, strong, she made my heart beat fast when she was around. When we stayed late working...
I understood that everything that happened to me with her was something new. It was something very nice. I was falling more in love with her every day and that didn't go away even if I tried to deny it. A lot of times I wanted to tell him.
She told me about her insecurities. About her sorrows, her secrets, how many times have I not seen her get drunk until she looked bad for some guy? How many times have I felt the need to just protect her and make her happy myself?
It was a love that grew and grew over the years.
Two and a half years passed. Little Derian was almost three years old, Ethan had moved to Bermuda to make his life with Veronica and the daughter who was on the way. We found out when he was already on that side. Tremendous surprise that made us all happy. We never walked away or stopped talking to each other, we were very close.
I had not yet proposed to Elisa, out of pity. Shame, and I don't know what other things. He was insecure, he didn't know if he could make her happy.
We say goodbye to Mia and Harry, who went to England, to continue what would be their new life. We found out they wanted to adopt a baby, but it's something Mia still didn't assimilate, or didn't feel ready.
That's why I felt insecure, perhaps when I saw how my surroundings were, I thought about it even more.
The deaths in these three and a half years did not stop. A lot of new information had been obtained, something about bunkers, people underground who had disappeared a long time ago.
Many times, we found decomposing bodies, very deteriorated, and it was impossible to recognize them. Those words of Marco of "our god will come to free us" were still alive inside me. And now that more things were discovered, I felt more afraid, something inside me felt like I already knew the truth, but I didn't want to admit that it was that.
We had both grown a little more in this world of research. And time did not stop, it did not stop running even though we had not advanced enough. We wanted to find a bunker, a guy to guide us there.
I couldn't trust anyone. Only in Elisa. I didn't want to involve my family, even if it was my own brother I was investigating.
—I need to tell you something... Elisa. —I said in a whisper, nervous. Since she would be the first person I would tell about this thing that I have been investigating for so many years.
She settled down, turning to look at me, she was staring at the computer until she heard my voice. He crossed his legs on top of each other, and resting his elbow on his thighs, he immediately paid attention to me. There was an afro with his hair, his dark skin, the delicacy of his hands, his nails, the incredible friendship we had, everything was so beautiful. So unique. —I'm all ears.
—I wouldn't know how to start... —I hesitated, —I haven't told anyone this, not even you, who I trust the most here in the department...
—That sounds interesting, I want to know more. —released quickly. With that smile that made me weak. Of that smile that made me fall in love with her.
—All this time the one I've been investigating has been my brother. The same one who suffered everything you already know with me. Many situations arose for it to happen... and I have not wanted to talk... I have a lot to get to the bottom of all this and find the worst... I have not wanted to involve anyone in this either for fear that someone else investigates my brother, and if he had something to do with it he ends up dead. —I blurted out very nervously. My hands didn't stop shaking as I told him. She knew everything that had happened, she had become a great mental support for me, so maybe... I wanted to talk about it completely. I know she could help me.
She was silent. I don't know if he was analyzing the situation or if it seemed crazy to him. I even doubted myself. —I have come to think in your case that since we never find evil, it must be someone who pretends to be good. But I didn't tell you to prevent us from distancing ourselves or something like that from emerging, you said it, fear of being believed or distrusted. This never left me and now that you say it I can express it freely.
—So you... did you think so too?
That weight I had inside me I felt like it was disappearing little by little. She nodded and took my hands, I trust you, and if you decide to do so, let yourself be guided by your instinct. The tender touch of his delicate hands, which once again inspired confidence in me. And I felt absolutely confident that I wanted to tell her how much I liked her, but I needed to do it in a brighter place, in my house, her and I, alone.
—I was afraid to talk about it because... it's my family. And it terrifies me to believe that he is lying or that he has always been pretending. —I expressed myself without stopping thinking about everything that has been happening in recent years. All the information I had gathered that could be linked to my own brother. The only family I had left.
—I understand you very well. I know everything you have fought for your brother. Thinking about it is terrifying but I think it doesn't seem so twisted anymore.
Without having one thing to do with the other, it left me automatically. —I would like us to spend an afternoon at my house.
Silence again. The arrival of my words that interrupted her and left her paralyzed. She smiled at me again. —are you... blushing? I can not believe it! Were you afraid to ask me to stay at your house?
—I-I'm sorry. I didn't want to
—Hey, calm down. I haven't said no either. —He put a hand on my thigh. And my "newbie" side came out in an impressive way. I had an erection almost immediately, reaction to his touch on my thigh.
I stood up, holding back the horrible nerves I had. And I spoke among many stutters—, you see... my brother will go out tomorrow with his wife and son, and they will return in a few days. It is their birthday and their first after four years together. That's why I wanted to see if we could have an afternoon-date, I mean a dinner with friends...
I was watering it terribly!
Although I was right to be like this, I wanted to confess how I feel about her, I wanted to tell her that I would like us to be more than just friends. I was afraid of rejection, damn it, very afraid. But he had to be brave. Although I think that for everyone, how much I talk about her, they already think about it.
—There is no problem. I agree to go to that dinner with you. It would be good for me... I feel like I am very close to something and at the same time very far away. And I'm a total mess. The truth is... Who better than you to make me forget one day about all this that overwhelms me so much?
She knew how to speak. It made me feel so safe... damn. She is so perfect everywhere.
When I got home, that day. The smile did not disappear from my face. I was in a mixture of happiness and internal panic that wouldn't even let me sleep. She was to blame for that, how did she manage to make my heart beat faster? How did he manage to make me even more nervous the closer that time of day got?
It was Dom's birthday, they were preparing everything early. They were leaving and they were having a great time early on. I was just waiting for what would come at the end of the day. Impatient, very nervous, he had even written on a sheet of paper everything he wanted to tell him that day.
They had to see my room. It was full of leaves fluttering everywhere. Half an hour passed and I already had a better idea. I moved horizontally in the room, I think I would make a hole in the floor from so many turns I made.
I ate little. I couldn't concentrate on anything. I looked at mom's photo for a long time. —It's mom day. I'll finally tell you how much I like it. I'm afraid. Give me strength mom! You gave me a lot to keep me alive to this day, to protect my brother. You are the engine that helps me continue. Thanks for so far not leaving me alone.
«—Mom...
—What the fuck...?
—He killed her.»
Fleeting images appeared in my head. Remember that day that despite all the time that passed, it was like a mark made by fire, it would not be erased no matter how much time passed.
—Uncle Adam, look look what I drew. —I heard little Derian's voice in the room. With a large sheet in hand, with a very colorful drawing.
I took him in my arms and looked at the drawing carefully. I sobbed a little because remembering my mom had made me cry. I tried not to show it in front of him. —What do we have here, little one?
In the drawing there were four little people, there were three big ones and one small one. There was one with a crown and another with a dress or so I interpreted. The other was standing next to the drawing of the one with the crown on. And the little one was in the middle of the first two. —The one in the crown is dad, he is my king. The best of all. The one in the dress is mom, accompanying dad. This is you, uncle. And that's me. It's pretty?
—My prince is beautiful, I love it. Is for me?
—Yes, it's yours. Save it so that when you see it you will remember me until I get back to mommy and daddy. Alright, uncle? —her high-pitched voice, so tender and adorable that it melted your heart just listening to her, that was the voice of Derian, my beautiful little nephew, who has only brought blessing since he was born.
I often had the idea of having a child. But who needs children when they can have nephews?
—Derian, go get your things in your fourth love. —I heard Emily from below. As an automatic reaction, he looked back and looked at me again. He smiled mischievously and reminded me a lot of Dominick as a child.
—Go, before mommy scolds you. —I left him on the floor, and he ran to the door. He looked back and ran back to me, he left me a big hug that covered my legs, I picked him up again and hugged him very tightly. —I love you very much, my child. Be good there.
His little arms surrounded my neck. The little angel was truly a sweetheart. —I'm going to miss you so much, Uncle Adam.
—Derian! Come down now! —Emily shouted again. I decided to take it.
—That's it. That's it, woman. My beautiful nephew was saying goodbye. Can not?
—Oh, sorry. I just thought I was lazing around. Of course you can, Adam. He loves you. —she apologized, with a nervous smile.
—Hey, Adam. Today I noticed you a little weirder than normal, or am I getting ideas? —added Dom, who entered the room with a bundle of hand.
—Today the girl from my work will come. We'll have dinner, just that.
—Will you propose to him yet? —he laughed, amused.
—We are not boyfriends!
—Today they have a house alone... —he hummed, with a perverse giggle on his face.
—Hey, the boy is here. Your off-color phrases, Dom. —I opened my eyes wide, threateningly, because the little one was still among us.
—He will learn somehow, right?
—Dom! —I scolded him.
Although I felt peace and at the same time I felt very bad for thinking and doubting him. Of everything that is happening, that could be his fault. How could there be so much evil in those who are so full of joy? How can I imagine Dominick hurting the woman of his life and son? Although the years have passed, Dominick has not lost his essence, he is still the mischievous teenager who pays little interest in what could be "bad" which in reality is not so bad, he continued to maintain that facet of perfection.
We did not lose contact with those who were not here now, were in other countries, making their lives. There are times when I think and believe that everything I am researching does not concern me, that I should stop and focus on what is really important, my family. My life. Abandon what surrounds me once and for all.
They were in the car, they were ready to go. My heart wanted to jump out of my chest, for what was coming, Dom would be gone for a week, maybe two, I was about to tell her what I feel... It was a mountain of emotions that squeezed everything in me.
Seeing little Derian say goodbye, Emily's smile, my brother's wink, seeing him get out of the car to give me a hug. —I love you brother. Can you survive without me for two weeks?
It was all sentimental, I was even crying. —Shut up, fool. —I started laughing while crying. —I will miss you a lot.
—Me too. —He turned to leave, walked about three steps and came back to me taking something out of his pocket. He left it in my hand after returning, indirectly, he said near my ear. —If you're really my brother, you won't use a condom.
He's done leaving, what a moment. But it was only two weeks, I could bear it. He was my brother, and I was horrified by the idea of not taking care of him. But he can, I trust him.
The afternoon flew by. Incredible. Time passed so quickly that all I know is that I had the house ready to receive her. He was ready, waiting for her. I lay down on the couch in the living room, exhausted from today. For a few minutes, I fell asleep, thinking "is this really happening? why did I wait until now? How silly, right?"
I woke up with horror because I heard several knocks on the crystallized door. She was there, wearing a beautiful white dress, which clearly marked the beauty of her curves. That smile that dazzled me and made my heart beat strongly.
I know. I was very in love.
I quickly went to the door, making sure everything was in order. As I opened the door, I looked at her with great fear, because I remembered that I would do it today. —How are you? —He planted a kiss on my cheek and continued smiling.
—Dor-mido. Scared. I do not say.
I was too nervous, damn it. Control.
—All good?
—No. I mean, yes. Fuck. Don't listen to me. —She analyzed me and smiled again.
—Are you nervous? Do you think I'll say something because I found you sleeping? —He pointed indirectly to the couch where he was.
—Come in, come in. —I closed my eyes sadly, frustrated that I could screw up with any nonsense.
—You are very tender while you sleep. I love watching you sleep. —she commented.
—You say it as if you had already seen me...
—We have been friends for four years, there are many things I have seen about you that you cannot imagine.
I swallowed dry. And no, I hope it's not what you and I are thinking.
She looked at the house in a brief analysis, to which I said nothing and was gawking at her. She looked towards me and almost automatically, embarrassedly I looked away from her. —I notice you tense, weirder than I should. You're OK?
—Of course yes, everything is fine. They must be your ideas, I'm acting as usual.
She approached slowly when he responded, looking towards the table where he had organized everything for dinner. —What are you hiding, mysterious boy? —He whispered, already very close to my face, curiously, narrowing his eyes childishly.
I felt my body tremble, if she didn't get off soon she wouldn't respond to me and kiss her. I didn't do anything to get away. I did want it to happen, and I could already hear my heartbeat in my ear. I suddenly looked at the table again and she turned her gaze to where I directed her. —did you make dinner?
I took a deep breath. The tension of the moment fell when she went to the table. —I haven't had the time to tell you that I love the style of your house. The decoration, everything.
—That's Emily and her extravagant taste for the glass-filled mirror house.
Yes, the house was almost a castle of glass everywhere, the table was, the windows were not there, they were completely glass doors, part of the kitchen was already closed and also part of the living room, but the house was full of luxuries and Emily style.
—I like his style.
I took a chair off the table —Take a seat, miss.
—Oops, how gentlemanly. Cool.
When she sat down, I also moved my place quite far away from her, to escape the excessive panic that would surely come out as a fifteen-year-old teenager at any moment.
Everything turned dark when the glass that surrounded the house flew into the air, filling the entire interior. As an automatic instinct, I fell to the floor, hoping that Elisa had done it too. —Elisa! You're OK? Talk to me!
I ran under the table, on my knees, as best I could, she was crouching.
—Yes! I'm fine! What the hell happened?
—I don't know. Don't know.
I had no idea what had happened, and cautiously, I looked on the table for a few seconds. Shots with automatic weapons began to ring out in the house. —Cover yourself! —she shouted, hiding my head under the table.
I felt very afraid, and I took her hand. I squeezed it hard. —Don't worry, I won't leave you alone.
I heard footsteps entering the house. —Well, well, well..., Daddy arrived! —said the voice of a man from outside who was getting closer and closer.
—What? —Elisa whispered, without understanding a damn thing.
—Dominick! I have come for you! Get out of wherever you hide!
Why did Dominick say? Does he have to do with the explosion a minute ago? Clearly this was not going to be good at all.
—Your brother? because? —he asked me in a whisper.
—Dominick... where are you? —he hummed, while his voice could be heard closer. —Did they make sure she looked for the other car?
—Yes boss. Everything is going according to plan.
—Very good. —there was silence, then a loud bang. —Dominick! Where the fuck are you?!
—Those people... are from the Mafia that I have been investigating for years... —Elisa whispered, with a panicked face. —Why are they looking for your brother?
—And what will I know? —I blurted out between nerves. I didn't understand why they were looking for Dominick, but it wasn't good at all.
I thought about everything. What if they were people my dad hurt in that organization? This could clearly be an act of revenge.
But it wasn't like that.
It was something darker.
Something more sinister.
—Get out, Dom! Damn!
It could already be heard very close... I was on the verge of doing it.
And for a moment I remembered: —The one in the crown is dad, he is my king. The best of all. The one in the dress is mom, accompanying dad. This is you, uncle. And that's me. It's pretty?
What if I should choose between my family's happiness and mine?
What should I do? Stand up for my little brother Dom, and face whatever his destiny was?
Give her up and lose my future?
What would you do?
No. I have no idea seeing my little Derian suffer. My nephew has a lot to live for. Even if I have to give my life for him right now, I will do it. I'm going to stand up for you, my family... Dom.
On Elisa's face I saw a gesture of displeasure, seeing that she was going to stand up, that gesture was one of complete panic. He had already realized what he was going to do, he already knew that I... —Here I am! What the hell do you want from me?
—Wow, wow. How long, Dom. —he said, watching me carefully, with a satisfying smile on his face.
He indicated with his index finger to go to him. —Come here.
—Hey! Don't do it! —Elisa intervened, completely scared. But I didn't pay attention, as he turned, a scream of screaming pain came out of his uniform throat with a bang. When I turned to see her she was already on the ground.
—No! Elisa, no! —I tried to go with her but I was stopped by the force of one of them, who hit me hard on the head, I didn't know what.
Only I fell into unconsciousness.
#
—What...? Do-where am I?
He was completely agitated. I looked at my situation carefully; She was there, in another chair, with one of his hands on her head, and a thick cock going in and out of her mouth. As he tried to notice more fervently, it was more than clear. I was also tied to a chair watching that horrible scene. His choking moans became increasingly narrow and destructive to my ears.
—Sleeping Beauty just woke up!
—What...? —I whispered very quietly. They slapped me hard and I rolled my eyes. They grabbed my face, pressuring me to see no matter what.
—Enjoy the show! —I gritted my teeth and hardened my face, struggling with the guy's hand not to see what they were doing to him. —Look at him, damn it! —I turned hard, his nails were buried in my cheek, I felt how it reached my gum, how that inhuman act hurt me.
I couldn't bear to see that.
That face full of smiles was covered in great fear, with a look that previously gave off light, now only emanated darkness. She was suffering, and seeing that squeezed my chest. I wanted to be able to do something, but I remembered my little nephew's voice talking to me and telling me "I'll be back".
It was a terrifying moment, I didn't know what to decide. And I began to scream in pain and frustration at what was happening. I heard him laugh, making fun of me.
—Do you like what I prepared for you? Do you already love me? Do you have feelings for me, Dom? I have done a lot to get you here. You can't imagine what I've been through... I've been planning your whole life for all these years... —That man spoke, he spoke as if he had known him for a long time, as if he had feelings for my brother. Who was?
I heard a scream from her. I couldn't help but turn to look at her, as I kept looking at that man who was talking to me.
I was very afraid...
I felt very hot, so much so that I started sweating non-stop. I didn't want to ruin things with my brother, but I also didn't want her to get hurt for trying something to protect her.
—Bring me that... I'll ask you some questions. —He spoke, breaking me out of my trance. I didn't know what was going to happen but the fear was still there.
—GOD! What a delicious mouth you have, doll! —he moaned. That made me angrier, to the point of eliminating thoughts of sanity. And just when I was ready to attack, I received a very strong blow. A scream of pleasure when hitting me accompanied by laughter.
—YUJUJUI! Answer questions, bastard! —was what I heard him tell me. That man's breathing was labored and slowly calmed down. —You feel the same as me... for you, Dom. TRUE?
I didn't know what to answer and I looked up, looked at him out of the corner of my eye and threw it away again. I didn't know this man at all and I don't know what he could say. —a silence? It's all?
With whatever was in his hand, after a silence, I felt a horrible pain in the middle of my legs, from which I am sure I began to bleed. I felt like one of my testicles had been completely destroyed. I let out a gasp, in great pain, opening my eyes wide. That pain ran through my entire body quickly, I saw my legs and they trembled without me wanting it. It was a horrible feeling.
—WRONG ANSWER! You must love me! —he shouted again, satisfied. — WOW!
—Dominick... Beautiful baby... Are you mine and mine alone? —he asked again. I was in shit and paralyzed, I didn't know how to respond to him and I stayed silent again.
And there was silence again.
And I didn't know how or when, my right hand fell to the floor after being cut with something very sharp. I think it was a meat cutter. I couldn't react calmly and a resounding and very strong pain took over me, —AHHHHHHH! —was what I screamed, drowned.
The pain was so great that the voices around me were already inaudible echoes. I had no strength left...
And Derian, my little nephew appeared somewhere in my memories, smiling, telling me "man, I love you". My eyesight was blurred, and he was smiling at me. Dominick was smiling at me too.
Mom did it too.
There was light, there was peace, could it be that he was already dead? I'm sure I smiled. Their smiles accompanied me and gave me peace of mind. It was my family.
I kept sweating, bleeding, the pain in my genitals increased as the seconds passed. I could only hear screams and laughter. I wasn't in my right mind anymore.
Then there was darkness.
And I think he was dead.
I died dying, bleeding to death. And I could see her crying for me, I didn't know how she let go of her chair, but that man was crying angrily, and she was crawling on the floor, and that man... looked at me yelling things like, "You should only be mine.", "Why didn't you say you love me?" "After everything I did for you", "I love you... wake up. I just want you to be mine", that man whoever he is...
I was obsessed with Dominick.
—Help us... have... murdered your brother. He... turned himself in... because they were looking for you. —Elisa spoke, very afraid, through a cell phone.
—COME HERE DAMN BITCH!
He grabbed her by the hair, and hit her several times with great force on the ground. A floor full of glass. His face was full of blood, a beautiful face that I thought I could have seen at dawn every morning.
That smile I thought I would see every day when I woke up.
That girl I wanted to be my girlfriend, my wife, the woman of my life.
He was disfiguring her. He kept hitting that beautiful face non-stop.
I wish I could have saved her.
I wish I could have done something more.
I wish I had kissed her.
Would it be nice to have kissed her? What would it have felt like to touch those lips with mine?
I wish I hadn't invited her to my house... Maybe that's how she would be alive. Maybe then I could be left with the peace that I could be happy with someone else. Although with that jealousy that I would no longer bring out his smiles.
Thank you for everything I experienced with you, Elisa.
Never forget how beautiful you always were while I saw you.
I wish I had kissed her...
How can I accept now dead that I will no longer be able to fulfill his dreams?
I leave with the peace of mind that I protected my family. And I noticed that I chose without realizing it; I chose my brother.
I thought about them before I thought about myself.
Does that make you proud, mom?
I hope what he did was of some use to everyone...
I wish I had been enough while I was alive...
Now that I'm here... I can see that proud smile, welcoming me with open arms... I couldn't help but cry like a little child. Mom was here, waiting for me to accompany her.
I always wanted this...
Long ago...
Only he was already in a safe place. He already had people to stay alive for. But the feeling of being here, with mom, never died.
Not even after death.
I'm going to wait for you here, little Derian.
Keep your dad safe. He still needs us.
Thank you world for not letting me fall and watching my brother grow...
I knew about her that she continued fighting until the end, she was doing something that I couldn't. That made me feel very good. Although she was already sure what her destiny was. She didn't stop.
I saw her run towards me, I saw her insist that I wake up, those tears that I didn't want to see in her because of me, were passing.
I'm sorry, Elisa. I didn't want to hurt you like this.
I wanted to be able to love you just like you told me... However, I wanted to try not to harm you like everyone in your life did. I wanted that shine that was in your eyes every time you talked to me about your affairs to be the same or even better than what I saw.
I wanted to be able to see you say, "Love, I'm pregnant!"
It's incredible...
I made so many plans with you even though you didn't know about it... I should have talked about it sooner, right?
I suppose you have to live life to the fullest day by day, understand that life is fleeting and that no matter how many dreams you have to live, goals to achieve, they are nothing more than just that, dreams.
Something that does not exist and that only travels in your head.
You have to try to hug more, express yourself more sincerely every day. Because you don't know when the last "goodbye" or the last "I love you" will be, I thank heaven for saying goodbye well to my family.
So much protecting them and worrying and who ended up like that was me... heh, it's ironic.
Don't forget to hug...
So maybe it doesn't hurt so much when leaving.
Don't cry, Elisa.
That your tears make me weak, and I won't want to leave.
I watched as that man shot her as she was kneeling in front of me, imploring me to wake up. That bullet entered through the back of his neck and exited through his left eye, which disappeared somewhere.
I'm so sorry I didn't do more for you, dear.
I will always love you. Even beyond our deaths.
#
Twelve years later...
It's been many years since I've been here. What speaks to you now is the conscious part of me that knows it is locked up in a psychiatric hospital. That part of me that is still alive because I know it breathes. Even though everything about me is already dead.
I never knew what really happened. For me Emily is dead because of me. Because I killed her in that accident. No one ever told me anything more about her, and I couldn't help but feel guilty.
My addiction, my problems ended what was most difficult for me to have, what I fought so hard for. I was locked in that dark place, slowly bumping my forehead against the wall, I was sitting on the floor, in a straitjacket. He had very long hair, but he was a mess.
But after a long time of not feeling like I was waking up, that voice echoed in my ears.
—Dominick. Are you listening to me?
And I woke up in that high school bathroom, where I had had one of my attacks.
What's happening to me? Where have my demons gone?
Sweet heart.
• The first chapter from DERIAN will be available on November 2026.