Alina seemed unable to stop now that she had started speaking as she continued, "I would see mom everywhere I looked, but mom had made sure to leave me happy memories everywhere I looked. I would miss her when I looked over to her rocking chair, but I would also remember how she used to critique perfectly good books sitting there, saying that she couled write hundred times better than them. Even when she had close to no literacy sense." A ghost of a smile touched Alina's lips as she continued, "It was difficult, but I survived that. All that time I got to spend with mom after she got sick, cherishing every moment because deep down I knew I might lose her. Those times got me through her absence after she was gone."
Alina took in a deep breath and her voice trembled as she continued, "But Alex, I was just a kid when he left. We both were. We spent almost all of time fighting back then. And after he came back, he didn't have much time to exactly make memories, did he? All I see when I look around is Alex, and somehow also mom. I see him having a coughing fit on that sofa, and she's having one right beside him. I see Alex having a fit on the dining table chair and puking his dinner back up, and mom is right beside him. So sick that she's unable to swallow and her dinner is dripping down her chin. And your bedroom Max, all I see when I enter your bedroom. . ."
Alina shuddered and stopped talking. Tears were falling out of her eyes now and she turned back into the kitchen to hide them.
Max sighed as he continued to pick up his dirty dishes, taking a lot more time than was necessary in doing so. He did so partially to give Alina some time to compose herself, as he knew that she wouldn't like sympathy anymore than she would like to be stabbed through the heart, and partially to dry his own eyes. Alina's speech had hit a little too close to home. He seemed to have only bad memories of Alex in this house. Everywhere he looked, he too saw Alex's sickness and his death. And the pain of having to relive that everydsy made him want to tear out his heart and join Alex, wherever he had gone. Max could barely even manage to get up from the bed every morning without trying to off himself, and he could not even imagine having to burden the lose of two people that way.
Alina was definitely a lot stronger than himself, Max had to give that to her.
Max walked into the kitchen once he had sufficiently calmed down and was sure that Alina would have too. And sure enough, she was washing dishing in the sink and her eyes were completely dry. Sure, she let a light sniff here and there, but other than that Alina seemed perfectly fine.
She even managed to let out a tired smile as Max walked over and put the dirty dishes in the sink. It was more than Max could manage after the conversation they had just had. "So yeah, I really think that it would do me much good to leave this house." Alina said with a loud sigh.