Chapter 4
"Hahaha! I am lord overpowered!"
The baby was laughing by himself as the whole clan around him was speechless. Their eyes were almost popping out from the sockets as their mouth hanging wide open, their jaws almost touching the ground.
Holy Supreme Lord Magical Emperor! What in the name of all mana filled-head is that baby?
They are all speechless and even the cricket that should make a sound during the speechless moment was greatly speechless himself!
"HEY AUTHOR! WHY AM I TALKING WITH THE BABY'S MOUTH ALREADY?"
They heard the baby talk as he look up into the sky. Hoowly smoking crap-mana! Who is he talking to right now?
And then the baby, who named himself Better Dick take a look around him. Everyone around him, without exception, is like a statue carved out with bulging eyes and and wide open mouths.
'Aish, I had surprised them all by revealing my power. Wait, I haven't casted any spell yet so how did I reveal my power? Hmm. Everything is going interesting. I got to address them all like a president or prime minister or a king addressing his nation during the state of emergency'.
Better Dick, the newborn baby himself was already thinking very hard. He is preparing the script in his mind and then he cough, he cough again to warm up his throat.
Ughm! Ughm! Ughm!
'That's better, now I am ready for talking.' Better thought to himself.
The Dick clan members were still petrified like stone statues with their silly poses. They just can't believe what is happening today and never in their whole life had they ever encountered something like this. Holy! Something legendary is going on right now and we are very lucky that we are personally witnessing everything!
'Wait, wait, am I not dreaming? This must be just a dream, something so unbelievable is only possible inside the dream!'
And so, everyone of the Dick clan move together like a robot to pinch themselves hard.
"Ouch! "
This a super realistic dream, it also have pain simulator!
How about this huh?
Everyone condensed a force mana in their palms, the air around them was vibrating with buzzing sound and causing some rippling of space due large amount of mana being concentrated in the a small place.
This must be enough! Everybody thought as they watch the mana in their hands. Their fingers were vibrating and their skin was rippling of waves as they try to hold the mana.
And then PAAAAAAKKKKKKKK!
A uniform sound of crisp boom as their skin in the face was hit by another skin from their palm, infused with strengthening mana!
The sound of cracking surely mean that hit stings like hell!
Better Dick jumped himself up into the air as he was startled when his fellow Dick clan member slapped themselves very hard with all that mana in their hands!
The sound of their hand slapping their own face creating a loud thunder of 'PAAAAKKK!!!!'. It echoed through the mountains and into the whole planet. The sky was cleared of clouds are they were are disintegrated into individual atoms when the sonic boom of slap hit them.
Meanwhile as the whole clansmen were awakened by their loud slap, they felt their own faces was deformed too. Their one side is swollen and hurting! One young master who was so obsessed with his look started crying. His nose that he have been spending large amount of time perfecting into a pointed shape was completely obliterated, what was left was just a stump of flat flesh. Whereas the other clan member slapped themselves from the side of their face thus hitting only their cheeks, he positioned his palm earlier right in front of his face, a ninety degree angle. It was like his hand was a meteor and his face was a surface of the planet. When the meteor crashed, it leaves a crater in the surface, which is his nose was buried in the stump of flesh. But not a drop of blood was dropping, instead it was a high-grade mana that was leaking.
As the Dick clan members were awakened, though they are really awake in the first place, they see again the baby and now it is flying in the air, hover above the heads of his parents and the Dick clan leader.
" No! I am not awake from that stupid dream yet! How could a newborn baby talk and now he is even flying? Ridiculous dream! ". And now they are even trying to gather mana again, this time not just a pinch, or a sonic slap but they are all murmuring a curse! A super curse and if they wasn't stop any sooner, the whole clan will be wiped out by their own curse!
" Hey author! Is that true? That is really a curse they are chanting right now?! ". Better Dick's voice was a mix of fear and curiosity and astonishment!
[ Uhmm.. Yes… Ehrrrr ]
" You goddamn author! Do you really know how to write a story except to constantly put your characters in a danger? Are you out of your faaaaacking mind? "
" OWWWWWWW! "
The whole Dick clan put their hand in their mouths as they all gasp together upon hearing the baby utter some curse word!
" My graciousness! He is just a baby! Why is he uttering such word! "
"Such a foul-mouthed baby!"
"That must be a little demon!"
"That must be the reincarnation of a little devil! Such a horrible mouth!"
Better Dick felt like crying. I wasn't cursing you all. It was for the gaddamn author! I am just a baby! I am pure and innocent!
[ HEHEHE! ]
" Author! You stu-----….] The baby Better managed to stop himself before he can say it. Whew! That was close!
' I am just a baby, it is my first day in this world. I haven't lived for a few hours and I already have managed to put some taint in my reputation! Who in the whole fantastical multi-universes have ever done such act? Even the vilest villains with the darkest of darkest hearts was born not being able to curse in front of a large crowd and I, the main character in this story and the hero have done things villains wished they could. Sigh! I am the hero in this story! '
[ Who told you you are going to be a hero? ]
{ Am I not going to be one? }
[ Read the title again, was there any hero or any related words there? ]
Title: Lame Side Villain Character Rewritten into Overpowered Main Character!
The baby Better Dick shakes his head.
{ There is really none! You tricked me you gaddam Author! You! You! You! }
[ Relax, you are the main character and you want to be overpowered and if you are purely a hero, wouldn't that be too boring? You are just going to fight villains, isn't that going to be boring in the long run? ]
The baby, who was still floating in the air, hovering as his fellow clan member was following him, except for his mother and father. Baby Better Dick put his hand into his chin like he was really thinking, his little fingers stroking his non-existent beard.
" I agree author, you are really smart and a genius, I am still going to be a main character but I will be fighting both good guys and bad guys, is that right? Oh stop that. I wasn't actually asking you. I am commanding you to write the story that way! "
[ humph! You think highly about yourself. What are you going to do if I don't obey you, in fact there is nothing to obey about you! What are you going to do, smash my head into the keyboard? Huh? You are just a fictional character kjdjkhfdjksfjdsbfjkdbskcvbdskjfbjdsgfhsdifjisdfc sdvseb fds fbdsfbdskhfkdsnfknk ]
" How was that author? "
[ What the fu*k did you do to me, you sldashdjkashfjkhasjkfddhaskdkashdksaghdlsa STOP IT! DSAHDKSHDKHSAKJDHSAJKDHKSAHDKASHDKHAKJDHASJK STOP! ]
" I warn you my dear author, don't ever make me angry do you got it? "
The baby let out a laugh but it sounded like a cute giggle. It was intended to sound mean and dark and evil. But it ended up cute and heartwarming.
" Awwwhhhhhhh! He is so cute! "
" Waaahhhhhhh! A baby! Baby! Baby! "
Ahhh! So annoying! Better DIck thought to himself. Now is the time for my speech.
So he cough again to warm up his throat for the speech. And he cough again to get the attention of everyone. And he coughed again because the air is so cold!
" Everyone, listen to me, including you author and readers! Listen very closely to what I am going to say! "
To be continued into the next chapter! Obviously, duh!