Rhea leaned back on the taxi seat with her eyes closed.
Ryan Jin. Just one look from him had the power to rattle her.
She had never seen him angry before.
'Will he be alright? What happens to his career if he stops now?'
Defeated by her uncontrollable thoughts, she gave in. She stopped fighting her thoughts and let them drift where they wanted. As expected, her mind started to reminisce about the past, her times with him.
She remembered what they had almost been, strangers turned into something close to friends. Maybe even more.
It was four years ago…
She had been sixteen when she first saw him on screen. She had been living a peaceful, monotonous life in the frozen North, Alaska. Life had been routine: school, exams, snow. Until one day, when something changed.
It was the last day of school before the summer vacation. Hannah had said, "You should watch 'Stranger' if you love thrillers."
Hannah had seen nearly everything.
"It's a Chinese thriller. The main character is a university student, who tries to sort out a serial murder case that happens in his university dormitory. It was interesting, Rhea. And," she smiled.
"And what?"
"And the lead is super handsome," she giggled.
Looking back, she wondered what her life would've been like if she'd never clicked on that film. Even now, it was strange how much comfort his presence still gave her. She decided to watch 'Stranger' for the mystery, not the man. At least, that's what she told herself.
She searched for the movie online. When the results loaded, she felt a strange tug in her chest, something was about to change. There was a poster of the movie below the title, above the play button. A striking side profile of a young man started back at her from the poster.
Hannah hadn't lied, he was beautiful.
'Ryan Jin.'
She pressed the name. There was no denying it. He had the kind of face that made people stop scrolling.
'He still is,' the present Rhea, who was immersed in her memories and had seen today's Ryan Jin, half an hour ago couldn't help but mumble.
Though he looked thinner now, eyes were shadowed, but the sharp features remained. His eyes had a sharpness she couldn't forget.
Rhea no longer needed the ratings and reviews of the movie.
She watched 'Stranger'.
As the credits rolled, she sat frozen in front of her screen. It wasn't just that he was talented. It was the way he carried pain in silence, the way his eyes said things his mouth never did. She felt understood, somehow.
She never expected an actor to stay in her head this long, but he did.
Rhea had devoured nearly all of his works within a year. Since there was a language problem she always bought the English subtitles together with the movies.
Finally, fed up with subtitles, she asked her father if she could start learning Chinese.
Mr. Frank, Rhea's loving father, never said 'no' to his girl. Since he owned a tourist agency, it was easy for him to hire a Chinese tutor for her.
Rhea studied with quiet intensity, poured hours into it each week. Two and a half years passed.
Now, she was a high school graduate who could speak Chinese.
Then one day, out of the blue she heard that he is coming to Alaska, for a movie shoot. By chance, the location was near Rhea's hometown. Rhea paced for hours before daring to act on the thought. Was she being foolish? Just another fan chasing something unreal? But deep down, she wasn't after fame or fantasy. She just wanted to meet the person who'd unknowingly pulled her through so many lonely nights.
Rhea made a plan to meet Ryan Jin.
Her dad owned several businesses, including a tourist agency.
The Chinese movie troupe would probably need a guide in Alaska. So Rhea was plotting to capture that chance and meet Ryan.
She told her dad she wanted to try working at his agency as a translator during the break. She was fluent in French and fairly skilled in Chinese, so landing the job wasn't hard.
As expected, they contacted Mr. Frank's agency. Her plan worked.
But waiting wasn't easy. Each day crawled by with the weight of expectation. What would she say when she saw him? What if he didn't even notice her? The thought made her palms sweat, yet she couldn't stop picturing that moment, how it would feel to stand in front of him.
The troupe was busy with their shooting for a month, so Rhea had to wait for about one month for her initial job.
The day she had been waiting for finally arrived.
Most people wish they could remember the exact moment they met the person who would change everything. Rhea could still clearly remember that day, that first day he came into her sight, for real.
The movie troupe arrived in caravans, cars, and buses. It was loud, but Rhea's mind was louder. She'd hidden in the dressing room, and even afterward, behind her father.
The same goes for meeting Ryan for the first time.
It was something she'd never imagined would happen, but always wanted. Finally, when it happened, she forgot to breathe. It stunned her, a chill that slipped past her coat, straight to her ribs.
"Rhea, come forward, let me introduce you to the director," Mr. Frank said, completely unaware of what she was going through.
Her legs felt frozen in place. For a second, she considered running back into the building. Her heart pounded so loud she could hear nothing else. But her father, unaware of her silent panic, stepped to the side with a smile. And just like that, there was nowhere to hide. Rhea was unwillingly brought to light. It was as if he gave shape to emotions she couldn't name.
The director of the movie was Yuan Yu. Rhea identified Yuan Yu at first glance. Rhea had read up on the Chinese film industry over the last two years. She got herself introduced.
After glancing at the crowd, she found that Ryan Jin was not there, yet.
'Where could he be?'
As she was wondering, a sleek BMW pulled up, its engine barely audible over the chatter. The car rolled to a quiet stop in front of her.
She couldn't see the driver clearly but Lilly Chen got out, opening the other front door. Lilly Chen was the lead actress in that movie, a gorgeous woman who was discourteous.
"Is she deaf? Why is she standing in the way?" she murmured. She may have thought Rhea wouldn't understand since she said that in Chinese.
Rhea thought about snapping back, but today wasn't worth spoiling.
An unforeseen notion came to Rhea's mind at that time.
'Who was driving with her? Could it be him?'
She now brought back her attention to the driver's seat. The driver's door opened. He stepped out of the car.
It was him. It was Ryan Jin. Snow clung to her coat and lashes. Her breath fogged the air, but the cold never reached her. Not when he stepped out.
Everything blurred except for him. His silhouette against the car door, framed by soft flakes and headlights. For a moment, the world hushed as if holding its breath.
She met him on a winter day in Alaska, just as the snow began to fall.
"Miss, we have arrived," the taxi driver woke the present Rhea up from her trance.
At that time, she was not the only one in a trance.
On the busy Shanghai highway, Ryan was sitting in the back seat of his car, with his eyes fixated out of the window.
He was thinking about the same thing, the first day he met her.
He remembered how startled she looked that day, cheeks pink from the cold, eyes too wide to hide her nerves. He remembered her jacket, her boots, and the way she'd stopped breathing.
He left out a sigh and pulled himself from the memory.
"What are you going to do to me this time?" he murmured.
"Sir?", his driver who thought Ryan was talking to him, replied in confusion.
He hated that he remembered her so clearly. Just a passing moment in a frozen land, with a girl whose eyes had no right to haunt him. But the memory refused to fade. It surfaced in his quietest nights, in the pause between conversations, in dreams he never spoke about. That one snowy moment had etched itself into his bones.
"Drive me to Liam's house."
"Ok sir" the driver replied.
Ryan took his phone and opened his WeChat.
Liam's phone vibrated, it was a text from Ryan.
'I'll be there in thirty minutes. Be ready to confess everything you know,' Liam read the text with a smirk.
'That impatient?,' he replied.
Liam took his towel with a sigh and murmured, "Maybe the things you don't say… are the ones that break you." With that, he walked towards the bathroom.