I have been called by both the boys and asked whome do I choose. Lately there have been a little dispute among us and I am left to choose one.I have never been a good decision maker and always need help of someone for this. But this time this is solely my problem. Both of them have loved and cared me in their own way and proved that they both deserved to be loved back. But for me choosing the one means losing the other which I can never afford. I was running through the room in order to settle a tsunami going inside me that goes all in vain. It feels like I have no way to run and face it this time so here I am going to meet them at early morning with my decision which I am not sure about.
I am a simple girl with not much of the expectation but time is a bitch it shows you the best of the best and worst of the worst. When I met them I was in my worst condition. My family was devastated by my father's one bad decision of marrying a women half of his age who is 3 or 4 years older than me. My mom decided to divorce, my bother started hating my father and ruining his own life and I, I had to take care of both of them. Due to the ongoing divorce process since mom was busy with the court work I decided to start working along with my college study. Since I was on 1st year of my graduation so I got a job to take care of small kids, like in play group. It used to drain all my energy so my study was being hampered all the time. Sometime I used to cry covering the mouth with my pillow and remembering the family time we used to have. But life is always like this unpredictable where I was having a really tough time I met Dev, a very genuine friend. He used to bring his niece in our play group and from there we started talking and came very close in a short time. On the other hand I had met Rony in my college. He was a bully of the college. I met him the same day while returning from college in the college gate. He was doing ragging and making a boy clean his shoes with same boy's shirt. The poor boy was so embarrassed, I could feel his condition. Rony eyed me until I crossed the college premises, from that day I used to stay away from him but fortune kept on bring us in front of each other.
In one hand Dev used to support me for study, he used to motivate me to be positive towards everything and make me happy every time and on contrary Rony when saw me used to just get pissed, make me do all the project when we were in a group and says me name which I never liked. But now they both claim they love me and I am in a dilemma. Everyone might think it's the easiest own to choose but their is more to this. Ohh it's too late now I have to try to sleep now. Good night.
I am now on my way to the place, my heartbeat is increasing with every passing minute. Evey chamber of my heart is arguing to prove their points and confusing my mind. One says you should choose who can keep you happy and love you and you only. One says who can respect you and support your decision. One says leave everything and start your new life, study hard and settle in your career and lastly don't go to the place you won't be able to give rational decision. I feel like my head is going to blast if I keep thinking about this. Analysing my though 1000 of time I came to a decision. When I reach the destination they were sitting far from each other, both were injured and have blood in their eyes. Dev reaches to me first,"Are you okay" he held my hand. Yeah I replied. Roni freed my hand from Dev's and said," I know you can't be fine because of this illogical bastard." I sush him. "I am fine instead you both are not looking in good condition." I say. I have no idea what I am going to say but if I won't they will not stop fighting until one of them die. So here goes my prepared speech, "Dev-Roni you both are my good friends. I have always seen forward to you both. In every situation you both have helped from your respective place. I can't choose one over the other. I want both of you to stop fighting on unnecessary topics. Please make peace." Roni-"Ish, you don't have to be diplomatic, we have a understanding if you choose me he would never show his face again and same for me". I try to explain that it is what I fear. I can't lose you both. Roni you have helped me financially, academically and made me this confident and on the other hand Dev have busted my emotional potion, always motivated me to fight and gives me the secret of happiness. If I lose one of you half of me will always be missing. Dev says calmly,"Don't worry Ish we will build our life with our love where we will fill up each other missing pieces." "Don't you confuse her mister, I am still here I can fill up her emptiness and her desires too. I have got all the money and my life to her " Roni yelled. Guys please stop. Why can't we be friends and care for each other, I interrupted."Because I love you" they both say in unision. It felt like I heard something that I should not."What" this is all I can say,stupid one. I am feeling like I am going to collapse, everything is blurry and dark and I think I hit something. And boom!!!! Good morning Ish...good morning Ish...good morning Ish... It's my alarm and ohh gosh it's just a dream nothing of such dispute have happened.