Draft:
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In a day, like any other, an owl flew through the sky, doing what it always did arround this time of year: delivering a hogwarts aceptance letter to a future studend.
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This owl, like all postal ows used by wizards, could magicaly sense the adress it was supposed to go to to deliver it's package, and that is what led this specific owl to dive headfirst into the sewers of london through an open manhole cover.
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After a few twists and turns, the owl reached it's destination.
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'Not the worst wizard nest i ever saw...' Thought the owl 'Still all wrong tho. You are supposed to use twigs, not flesh! Those just rot!' The owl took soke time to calm its enraged architect spirit. 'But I guess that is why you used still living flesh here... No, still unecesseraly complicated!'
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The owl firmly believed it would never get human architecture, and indeed, it even failed to recognise that the "house" it was staring at, was not any form of human architecture at all!
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Instead, the "house" was mix of a flesh fungal colony, creeping up the walls and ceeling, with pulsating tentacles and oozing pustules, and something jury-rigged out of a junkyard, with half-broken tv monitors and radio speakers that somehow seemed to still work.
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'*Sigh*. Let's get this job over with so I can go back to sleep...'
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The owl then proceeded to drop the letter it was carring by the "house"'s "door", before pearching on a nearby "tree branch" and waiting for the wizards in the house to get the mail.
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The "door" seemed to notice the letter and started to... sniff it? Without a nose?
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'Wizards! I swear!' Thought the owl, defeated. It was not the first time it saw a door sniff a letter, and it knew it would not be the last.
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After the "door" was satified with it's sniffing, it proceeded to use one of it's 5 tongues to pick it up and swallow it.
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Magic let the owl know the letter was successfully recieved and red by it's intended recipient.
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The owl was tasked to wait an hour longer to see if the wizards in the house required it's services to deliver back an answear or not, but not 5 seconds after the "door" ate the letter, the door vomited out a flying fish-looking thing... and magic told the owl that was a response letter it was ment to bring back. Used to the weird packets wizards send one another, it simply did its job like nothing was wrong and picked up the "response letter" in it's tallons before flying back the way it came and out of the sewers.
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"Wut?" Confusion filled Minerva McGonagall as she stared at obviously-botchered-dark magic-transfiguration-attempt-monstrocity that she was sent as "response letter" from one of her would-be students.
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"I should go fetch Albus and see if he can make head or tails of this... "message"." The professor thought with a headache forming.
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Sudently, one of the thing's "eyeballs" swole like a balloon and started glowing inside, forming a 3d holographic image inside it.
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McGonagall gasped at the sight, and once again once she made out that the image inside.
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It was a human head, but the head was deformed in similar ways to the monster-half transfigured-monster-fish thing: with boils that changed color from red to blue to yellow and back again,pulsating growths that seemed to be breathing, half broken muggle contraptions all arround melded into flesh and exposed bone. If all that was not enought to give professor McGonagall nightmares, the next thing she noticed about the floating head certainly did.
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She knew who that head bellonged to.
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Under all the unatural changes, she could make out a very familiar face: a near copy of one of her most troublessome past students, with the diference of a green eye that belonged on the face of the woman he married.
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She was looking at the son of James and Lili. She was looking at Harry Potter, the orphaned boy that become famed in the wizarding world as the boy-who-lived, a boy she helped personaly deliver to live with his muggle relatives.
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A boy that now looked like he had face tanked 3 different dark spells mixed with a good dozen diferent transfiguration spells.
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"Hello hello, Harry here." The head began talking very fast, but the voice seemed to come out of the monstruous fish tail for some reason. "I would like to atest that i am interested in enrolling into your school, however i have no way of aquirering the school supplies on the list. If you all could help with that it would be much apreciated. Just shove them down the comunicator's breathing hole on the top side and everything will be transported to my network." McGonagall was not sure she understood what she was hearing, but Harry did not stop there. "Oh, and make sure to send a letter confirming when and where i am supposed to show up: day, month AND year if aplicable, as i am half sure we are from diferent timelines." McGonagall tryed to speak here, but Harry did not give her the chance "The sac won't hold much longer, so watch for spill! 2K out."
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The swollen eye sudently popped, and pus(?) Got flunged all over McGonagall and her desk.
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The professor blinked and then stood there frozen for several moments, trying to process what just happened. Until one word managed to escape her lips:
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"Wut?"
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End draft
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Draft2:
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"Professor, what is the diference between that spell and "reparo"?"
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"Why mister 2K, they are completly diferent! This spell is used to heal wounds on living beeings, while "reparo" is used to repair broken objects. Why, how can you even think of them as the same thing?!"
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Harry proceeded to grab his left hand's index finger and break it.
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Before the professor could freak out, Harry grabbed his wand with his right hand and cast a spell on the broken apendage.
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"Reparo."
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The finger snapped back into place, the bone underneath perfectly restored.
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"Yeah, it still looks like the same thing to me professor..."
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End draft
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Edit1:
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Sewer helmint will work as a portal. Mc actualy lives in warframe universe, precisely in year 2011(at beginningof fic)(born on halloween of year 2000) höllvania's central mall, on a failed timeline where the nuke went out and the radiation killed all humans on the planet(remember, no space travel yet), while the techrot just shrug it off. Mc was born/reincarnated in the techrot as a legacyte, one that got complete controll of all the infestation in the timeline, and, because he still has his human morals, he started to use the techrot to cleanup and rebuild the world, in hopes of finding survivors(there are none other then some plants). By the time mc gets the hogwarts letter, the planet is radiation free and höllvania is restored(even if it is still a ghost town besides the wandering techrot)
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I am not sure if i will make mc have knowledge of hp world or not
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Mc's full name is HarryPotter_Model_On-lyne_Zip.2000, mc considers "Harry" as his first name and "2000" as his surname, but prefers for it to be pronounced as in "2k"
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Mc has full control of the infestation and the sole mind in it, and he does not plan on letting a new consciousness develop there, that means the infestation will not attack or infect anything or anyone without mc's command(A/N: "Who is a good bundle of flesh? You are, you are!😁😁😁😁😁")