As for the swordsman himself, everything had gone according to the standard scenario. Naturally, he had gotten lost while trying to return to the Going Merry; there had never been any other possible outcome. He had successfully led Tashigi to the right place not once but twice (!), but that was where the miracles ended and 'the princess turned back into Cinderella.' Worst of all, Fate—apparently taking revenge for all the abuse Luffy had inflicted upon it—led the boy straight to the harbor where all of Baroque Works' ships were moored. Zoro reached the ships at precisely the same moment the cheerful Luffy and Nami left them. The swordsman entered the harbor from the north while the pair of 'treasure hunters' headed south toward the Going Merry. And so they missed one another.
Observation Haki might have prevented the 'catastrophe,' but Luffy had relaxed his vigilance too much as the battle with Baroque Works approached its end. It had become clear to him that no further surprises were coming, so he had allowed himself to rest. Maintaining awareness over an entire island for such a long period had become difficult even for him. That was how Zoro managed to slip past. Such perfectly timed 'coincidences' were one of Fate's favorite tricks, so there was no doubt about its intervention. Especially since the swordsman had emerged directly beside Mr. Three's small ship, which already had its anchor raised and its sails half-unfurled, and which, unlike many of its companions, had a clear route out to open sea. All Zoro had to do was jump aboard and finish unfurling the sails, which was exactly what he did.
From the point of view of a normal person, the boy had made a more or less reasonable decision. If he could not find his way over land, then he should move by water, where the number of possible routes was reduced to exactly two. To reach the Going Merry, he only needed to sail around the island either clockwise or counterclockwise. That was it. No other options existed! At least not for normal people, including those who had a poor sense of direction or none at all. But this was not just anyone. This was Zoro. When he had attempted a similar trick at Whiskey Peak, the boy had almost immediately headed out into the open sea despite having intended nothing of the sort. Trying to explain such an act was pointless, because his sense of direction obeyed no logic whatsoever.
And this time the situation became even more 'interesting.'
Zoro had barely left the harbor before he was already tired of watching the route. Surprising? Not in the least! It was also getting late, which made him sleepy, and as everyone had long known, he loved sleeping. Setting the ship along the shoreline, the boy found a comfortable chair and dragged it over to the helm. Sitting down, he crossed his legs, folded his arms over his chest, and habitually closed his eyes. Predictable? Definitely! Of course, he had not actually intended to sleep. There was simply no reason to strain himself and keep watching the ship's course without interruption if it was merely sailing along the coast. So there was nothing wrong with closing his eyes for a little while, literally just one minute. Could anything really happen in such a tiny amount of time? As it turned out, yes. Especially if by 'one minute' one meant 'eight hours of deep and restful sleep.'
When Zoro opened his eyes, stood up, and stretched luxuriously from head to toe, dawn had long since passed. Naturally, the moment he climbed higher and looked around, endless open sea stretched in every direction as far as his eyes could see. A light breeze blew, the sun shone brightly, and the ship glided smoothly and almost silently across the water. The flag on the mast fluttered gently, water splashed faintly against the hull, and there was not another soul anywhere around, making the already quiet and peaceful atmosphere even more serene. It was a beautiful summer day. On any other occasion Zoro would gladly have taken a nap in the sunshine.
Any other day, but definitely not today.
As the reality of his situation sank in, the boy's face grew paler and paler, while more and more beads of cold sweat appeared on his forehead. Zoro might have been an extraordinary topographical cretin, but whenever he found himself 'deep in the shit,' even he could recognize that he was, indeed, in the shit. Perhaps it was the only place in the world he could never confuse with anywhere else. Probably because it had no fixed point on any map, allowing him to find it absolutely anywhere in the world.
"..."
Zoro had no idea what to do next. After scanning the horizon from every side of the ship, he found not a single landmark. So where was he supposed to sail? Out of sheer hopelessness, the boy pushed his Observation Haki to the limit. It was worth noting that under the current circumstances this was a completely useless ability. With nothing around him limiting visibility, he could see much farther with his eyes than with Observation Haki. Which made the result all the more curious. The instant he activated his Haki, Zoro's eye practically flared with demonic fire, and he immediately bolted into the depths of the ship.
"...All right, who are you?" he asked a short while later, once again sitting in his chair by the helm and interrogating the man he had found. "And how did you end up on my ship?"
The thoroughly battered Mr. Three, kneeling in front of him, wanted to cry. Almost! He had almost made it! Just a little more and he would have successfully escaped that cursed island! And now, with only minutes left before salvation, the one person he least wanted to encounter had appeared aboard his ship. After personally clashing with Johnny, Yosaku, and Sanji, the now-former Baroque Works agent had not the slightest doubt about the true danger posed by the famous 'Pirate Killer.' He had already experienced the strength of that man's subordinates firsthand and therefore had no desire whatsoever to fight the captain of such monsters. Galdino did not flatter himself about his victory over Yosaku. He did not even consider himself the winner; he had merely managed to stop an unkillable monster for a short while. As he learned somewhat later, only one of several.
"My name is Galdino... and this is my personal ship."
Before trying to escape, Mr. Three had returned to the site of Johnny's battle. There, after seeing the fate of the other Officer Agents and the bloody orgy of violence being staged by the fire demon, he had immediately made the only correct decision: get the hell out of there! Who in their right mind would fight opponents like that?! That was precisely why, despite Zoro's prolonged sleep, Galdino had not dared attempt anything. Of course, it was also important to understand that he had never expected a long voyage. After all, the 'Pirate Killer' had his own ship, so why would he need another one? Obviously everything should have ended within a very short period of time. Mr. Three had reasoned logically, but as practice had repeatedly demonstrated, logic was powerless whenever the Straw Hat Pirates were involved. How was he supposed to know about Zoro's problems? So he had hidden until the very last moment, right up until the swordsman found him with Observation Haki.
"If this is your ship, then bring me a Den Den Mushi," Zoro ordered.
He understood that making contact was the highest-priority task right now. No, he was not afraid of traveling alone in the slightest, but Luffy's possible reaction worried him greatly. He knew for certain that if he were dead, he would never be able to claim the title of World's Strongest Swordsman. And he had never been closer to death than he was now! Not even that time Luffy had nearly cut him in half! The swordsman knew his captain far too well.
"S-s-s..." Mr. Three muttered quietly in response.
"Repeat that, louder."
"...Someone took my Den Den Mushi," Galdino obediently repeated, a little louder.
Naturally, once he had reached his ship, he had intended to report the current situation to Mr. Zero immediately. After his conversation with Mr. One and Miss Doublefinger, he was one hundred percent certain of the Boss's true identity. An active Warlord of the Sea, with all his strength and connections, might not be able to save the situation outright, but he could at least improve it somehow. At least, Mr. Three desperately wanted to believe that, because he himself had no idea how any advantage could possibly be extracted from the disaster that had occurred. Yet the moment Galdino reached his ship, he had discovered the Den Den Mushi missing, followed by every Eternal Pose he possessed. And that was even worse than the missing Den Den Mushi! On Little Garden, where a Log Pose required an entire year to set for the next island, the Log Pose he had was completely useless.
Even so, time was slipping away quickly, and Galdino understandably valued his own life very highly. As a result, not only had he not dared search the other ships for a Den Den Mushi or Eternal Poses, he had even decided to begin preparing to leave the island without any means of navigation at all. Naturally, that was the moment his career with Baroque Works ended. After such a catastrophic failure, any delay in making an immediate Den Den Mushi report was unforgivable. And after such a catastrophic failure, he certainly had no intention of appearing before the Warlord in person either. He valued his life far too much to commit such a suicidal act without any trump cards up his sleeve, and right now he had none. At the same time, such a cowardly escape put a massive, permanent end to any future career within the organization. And what sort of future awaited Baroque Works with enemies like these? Did it even have a future at all? Despite what he believed about his Boss's identity, Galdino had serious doubts about whether the organization could continue to exist. And although a chance of victory still remained, he had decided to run anyway. Even if the Boss ultimately won, that could not erase Galdino's own failure, meaning his life would remain in danger regardless.
"Someone took your Den Den Mushi?" Zoro asked in surprise, then immediately realized who the main culprit must have been. "Damn Luffy!"
He did not doubt for a second that Luffy was the one who had taken care of the Den Den Mushi aboard the ship. The swordsman had no idea what his captain's exact plans were, but he had a decent understanding of the way Luffy thought. As Zoro saw it, Luffy intended to delay the spread of information about Baroque Works' defeat. He had no idea how Luffy planned to achieve that—if nobody made contact for several weeks, it would be far too suspicious—but he had no doubts about the attempt itself. Either it was all to avoid scaring Crocodile away, or to create an opportunity for some kind of joke at the Warlord's expense. Both explanations could be true at the same time. Zoro was not completely certain.
"I need a Den Den Mushi, so we're sailing to the nearest island."
"..."
"I'll leave the navigation to you," Zoro added.
And just listen to the way he said it! With such a casual tone, as though he himself could easily take the helm and only laziness prevented him from doing it personally. That was what it meant to be an 'experienced topographical cretin'! He had mastered the art of hiding his shortcomings from strangers.
"S-s-s..."
"What are you muttering about again?" the boy frowned involuntarily.
Mr. Three swallowed loudly and then cautiously said:
"...Someone took all the Eternal Poses from the ship too... and I don't have a properly set Log Pose."
To say Zoro disliked that answer would have been an understatement.
"What exactly are you implying?" he asked darkly.
Galdino, noticeably pale and suddenly covered in cold sweat, quietly muttered to himself:
"W-w-w..."
"Louder!"
"...We have no way to navigate."
"What do you mean?!"
"...We can only sail at random."
Instead of answering, Zoro stared at Galdino without blinking. For the first time in his life, the boy found himself in a situation like this. Previously, it had always been enough to find any other person and then use their help to get wherever he needed to go. At that very moment, all his earlier joy at having found a guide vanished without a trace. What was the point of a guide if the guide himself did not know where they were and had no means of orienting himself in space? In other words, if he was just as lost as Zoro was? The whole situation was complete bullshit.
"...Are you screwing with me?" the boy finally managed.
Instead of giving a normal answer, Mr. Three desperately shook his head from side to side.
"...I don't care how, but you are going to get me to the nearest island!" Zoro said with finality, logic be damned.
Galdino froze for a moment, then began nodding furiously before hurriedly adding:
"Absolutely! I'll get you there, absolutely! I'll do everything! You have nothing to worry about!"
He knew nothing about Zoro's navigational problems, so what frightened him most was the possibility that the swordsman would simply kill him once he became useless. Right now he was immensely happy to have proven his usefulness: for a while, at least, he was definitely safe!
"...Can you cook?"
Mr. Three had barely managed to catch his breath before Zoro blindsided him with another question.
"U-uh... yes?"
Of course he could cook! After being Miss Goldenweek's partner for such a long time—a girl who could not even be bothered to pick up a cup of tea from the table by herself—it would have been far stranger if he could not. The lazy girl was almost impossible to force into doing anything, so in their partnership the role of homemaker had fallen on his shoulders from the very beginning.
"I'm hungry."
"...I'll make something right away."
Zoro smiled in satisfaction, stood up from his chair, and went to look for somewhere he could take a nap while waiting for lunch. A guide, albeit a lost one: check. A cook, albeit not Sanji: check. A beautiful day: check. All that remained was to reach the nearest island and make contact so Luffy would have time to calm down. In short, despite a few inconveniences, life was rapidly improving for Zoro.
Elsewhere, however, things were not nearly so cheerful.
"Captain! According to information we've received from Headquarters, those two are 'Red Ogre' Brogy and 'Blue Ogre' Dorry. They are the former captains of the Giant Warrior Pirates of Elbaf, who sailed here from the New World roughly a hundred years ago and have lived on this island ever since. Each of them has a bounty of one hundred million berries."
"You said pirates?"
"Yes, sir!"
"I hate pirates."
Overgrown, tangled hair. A thick, unkempt beard. A completely horrifying stare filled with hatred. If not for his slightly greasy trademark jacket, covered with cigars tucked into every conceivable place—the exact kind of jacket Yosaku had grown so fond of—Smoker might have been impossible to recognize. It was not so much his disheveled appearance, which made him resemble a homeless man, as the atmosphere surrounding him. The Smoker of Loguetown had certainly been intimidating, but he had not possessed even a tenth of the murderous aura, lightly mixed with madness, that surrounded him now. It was doubtful even Luffy fully understood what he had done with his 'joke.' Or perhaps he did understand and, as usual, simply did not give a damn, because fun always came first for him. Consequences had never concerned him much.
"Captain, your orders?"
Despite the lieutenant's brisk voice, he, like all of Smoker's current subordinates, made a point of maintaining a certain distance from his captain. Nothing more than reasonable precaution. Smoker had often frightened the Marines and officers around him before—mainly because of his Devil Fruit power, reputation, and unfriendly face—but compared with those days, people were now scared shitless of him. And far from only for the reasons listed above. Luffy's psychological games had never passed without serious consequences, and this time was certainly no exception. Tashigi's kidnapping alone would never have caused changes like this in an already seasoned Marine captain who had repeatedly taken part in combat operations and had lost comrades more than once. But months of 'jokes' had burrowed so deeply into his mind that serious changes to his psyche had become inevitable.
"Captain, your orders?" the lieutenant asked again after receiving no answer to his first question.
"...Stay away from here."
"Sir?"
"..."
Smoker started walking directly toward Dorry and Brogy, who stood shoulder to shoulder, and only then did the lieutenant understand the meaning of the order he had just been given.
"Everyone, fall back immediately!" he roared. "Move! Move! Move!"
"You're planning to fight us alone?" Dorry asked as he watched several hundred Marines retreat quickly but in an organized manner.
"I'm not planning to fight anyone," Smoker replied hollowly.
With every step, smoke gradually began to wrap around his body, blurring its outline.
"Then what are you planning?" Brogy raised an eyebrow.
Already almost completely transformed into smoke, Smoker raised his right hand. It rapidly became coated in a matte-black color, and then he said grimly:
"I'm only going to put the trash where it belongs."
========== End of Chapter 8 ==========