"Louise writes all these books. Black Pearl is just her pseudonym." Coleen replied to him instead.
They were shocked by what Coleen said, so they checked all the books on the bookshelves.
"She published all those books using her own money," Laura added.
"Wow! Really? You're unbelievable." Justin uttered while checking all of my books.
"It's her dream to have a bookshelf of her stories, and she was able to fulfill it. Her stories are superb. You should read it." Haye said, smiling.
When I looked at them, I noticed that Marvin was reading my first-ever published book.
"That's my first story," I said, smiling at Marvin.
"What is your favorite story among these books?" Karl asked.
I took the book When You Looked at Her, Where Was I?
"This." I showed it to them. "It's my second story, and this book is based on my experience."
I opened my drawer, where my diary was hidden.
"This is my diary from grade 10. I've made it into a book," I said while looking at my diary.
"So that book is all about Levie?" Justin asked.
I just smiled and slowly nodded. "You have a good memory."
I left them in my working space to help my mom and sister in the kitchen.
"Louise! Can we open the karaoke?" Marie asked while she was outside of the kitchen.
"Of course, go ahead," I said without looking at her.
While I was busy cutting garlic and onions, Ate Kate nudged me. "Louise, I can't believe you're friends with them."
"I can't believe it too, Ate. It was all unexpected." I smiled.
"How did you know them?" She asked.
Before I could answer, Jacob, Johan, Karl, and Marvin entered the kitchen.
"Let us help you, Auntie Lucy." Karl initiated.
I blinked my eyes repeatedly while looking at the four of them. "We're okay here. You don't need to help us."
"Auntie, we want to help you too," Coleen said. She's with Lovie and Sheena.
They were smiling ear to ear while looking at me. They asked for my permission, but my mother let them help us. I went outside the kitchen to check if the others were having fun, and then I returned to the kitchen. While they were singing in the living room, I couldn't help but sing along with them.
"You've brightened my day, showin' me my direction. You're comin' to me and givin' my inspiration. How can I ask for more from you, my dear? Maybe just a smile in your heart." I sang.
"You have a good and soothing voice." Jacob complimented me.
"Oh, thank you, Jacob. Thank you for lying to me." I smiled, but a sarcastic one.
After we cooked, we ate together. My mom and brother enjoyed their company, too. They were happy while we were having lunch. My heart is full today, and I want to dance nonstop because of the people around me.
The other members roamed around in our house when our stomach was full.
"Did you pass the Licensure Examination for Teachers?" Jacob asked.
"We were able to pass it." I smiled proudly.
"Congratulations!" Ivan greeted us warmly.
I stared at my certificate. I became a topnotcher when I took LET. It was unexpected because he left me alone during my review season. At that time, I stopped praying and hoping to be one of the topnotchers because I knew I couldn't make it. But by God's grace, I passed with flying colors.
I remember him. The guy that I loved.
"Did you believe me when I said I had no boyfriend since birth?" I faced them.
I saw the shock on their faces. My friends looked at me, and they were apprehensive about me. I just smiled at them.
"I had one boyfriend," I said, smiling.
They sat on the couch one by one, and they were ready to listen to my story. This time, I know I'm fully healed. It's been three years since we broke up. I didn't tell them I got a boyfriend because I wanted to erase him forever, but I remembered that guy because of LET.
"What are you saying? You said you didn't enter into any relationship." Ivan said. He's baffled.
"Y-You fooled us," Karl said. He's too OA.
"Let her explain this time." Junior smiled at them.
I looked at my friends first. They just smiled at me like they said it was time for me to share my story. It's been long since I closed that book, but I dared to re-read it.
"I don't know where I should start." I laughed awkwardly. I'm not used to sharing that story with everyone.
Every time I share the story about us, there's still a heavy feeling inside my chest. It still hurts even though I know I'm fully healed.
"His name is Clarence." I still feel the pain when I mention his name. "We met on the dating app. That dating app is a curse."
They are silently waiting for my next word.
"I never imagined that I would fall for him. Honestly, he's not my type. My standards are too high for him to reach that. So, I lower my standards so he can climb the wall easily." I laughed. "I guarded my heart for 23 years. He's the only one who pursued me."
Hays! I can still remember everything about him. I loved him, even his flaws.
"We chatted every day to be comfortable with each other. We were in a talking stage that time." I smiled, but there was a glint of sadness in my eyes. "I said to myself, he's always my first in everything. He didn't know how happy I was when he came into my life. He brought me so much happiness that I wanted him forever."
Don't cry. It's been three years, Louise. You're okay now.
"On July 22, 2023, we decided to have a staycation with Coleen and Arthur. It was our first meet-up, but he had already kissed me, and I was too stunned to speak because it was my first kiss." I smiled. "And on July 23, 2023, I gave him my sweetest yes and my heart."
I was calm whenever I was with him.
"He was my favorite person, my safe space, my rant buddy, he's my everything." Honestly, I still love him.
I cry every time I remember those moments. Our dates are the most precious moments, genuine and pure.
"Clarence." I heard Jacob murmur.
"Was he good to you?" Justin asked.
"Yes." I smiled and looked down because I remembered his cold days before he decided to end our relationship. "He was so good to me. Everyone around me was happy because they thought I finally had a boyfriend; I had found someone I could call my person. He was my everything for one whole year."
"What happened?" Marvin asked. I stared at his eyes; I saw empathy for me.
I took a deep breath. "H-He fell out of love." I smiled sadly.
We fell silent. They were all looking down except Coleen. She was looking straight into my eyes, and my heart was still crying.
"Why? Did you ask him? Did you reach out?" Jacob asked.
"I did," I said. "We had a video call before we ended our relationship. That night was one of the most painful nights that I have experienced in my entire life. I could still remember how I cried that night without making any noise. He was watching me crying and asking him what did I do wrong to deserve that kind of pain? Even though I was crying and breaking, I still had the courage to ask him if he still loved me because I wanted to know the truth." I paused and wiped my tears. "He told me he fell in love with someone else, and that's why he fell out of love with me. When I heard those words came from his mouth, it broke my heart into thousand pieces."
Throughout our relationship, I was genuine with him. I loved him so much. I loved every inch of him.
"I was there when he was at the lowest point of his life. I helped him to stand again. I-I was there to love him, for him to feel that he deserves to be loved again. He was in the dark when I came, so I took him out of his dark world. I don't have any regrets loving him because it was one of the best times of my life. I was once loved by Clarence, and for 1 year, I felt that genuine love."
I fell silent. Clarence was the first one that I treated that way. He felt my love by listening and always being there for him.
"Are you still mad at him?" Marvin asked.
"Do you want to know the truth?" They nodded. "I wasn't mad at him, I was just hurt. I couldn't hate him despite the things he did to me. My love for him is too big to hold a grudge against him."
For the past three years, he's been on my mind. I hope he already has a business he used to talk about. I'm always proud of him.
"Does he already have a girlfriend?" Johan asked.
"I don't know. I haven't contacted him for 3 years. Maybe, and hopefully, he already has a girlfriend." I faked my smile.
"Are you still hurt?" Laura asked me.
My tears fell continuously. "The truth is, yes." I paused. "Whenever I hear his name, the pain still lingers in my body. Even though it happened 3 years ago, I'm still crying over it, and it still haunts me. That break up is one of my biggest heartbreaks that I wouldn't forget."
It still hurts because I thought he would be my lifetime partner, but I was wrong.
They just hugged me while I'm crying nonstop in front of them. When I was in pain, my friends were there, and they were still here, crying with me.
"I hope when you find love again, it stays." Yohan smiled at me.
To my greatest love,
How are you? I hope you're doing well. I told our story to them, and I remembered you again. Maybe this time, I'm ready to forget you and ready for a new relationship. I've waited for you for 3 years to fix everything between us, but it's over for you. Know that I have loved you so much, and you always have a special place in my heart. I'm ready to let you go, and that's the last thing I could do for you. You're now free, I'm now finally free.