I hadn't slept a blink at night. And the day was tiring. We went for a hike in the mountains and reached a small waterfall. It was supposed to be fun for everybody but I was deep in thoughts. The medical team had gone with us. And he seemed to be avoiding me. Yeah right, I needed time. I had to process what he had said and then justify if my actions were right. But the sense of betrayal was too heavy. It was suffocating me. The more I thought about it, the more it burdened me.
Maybe his feelings weren't that strong towards me. That was why he was able to move on within a year. Maybe it was only me who was stuck with the past. The more I thought about it, I realized it wasn't his fault. The terms we were separated on, maybe I could sympathise with it. But whatever he did instead of just calling me was hard to sympathise with. I never got my closure and he went on with it. But I also understood that could have been the only thing he thought of doing after being guilty of his own actions. Though our feelings were for each other, we forgot the fact that we act individually. I was feeling the sense of betrayal because I was expecting him to be the same as me, to suffer like I did. I started to feel bad for acting that way at his confession.
My head started to throb at the end of the day. The various activities had tired me out. I didn't do anything but still I was exhausted. The day was filled with activities for the students from hiking to rock climbing and learning basic survival techniques in the woods.
By dinner time, I couldn't take it anymore. I needed to sleep. I asked Mr. Leo to look out while I decided to take a short nap. Inside the tent, I turned the heater up, wore only my t-shirt and shorts and laid down comfortably. It didn't take me long to fall deep asleep.
The next time I opened my eyes was in the morning. I frowned and sat up on the bed. Mr. Leo was getting ready.
"Good morning Mr. Kwan. You slept pretty well. Aren't you hungry? You skipped dinner last night." He smiled, putting on his boots.
I scratched the back of my head. I was still in a daze. And sure enough, my stomach grumbled.
"I tried waking you up but well, you cursed at me."
My eyes widened. "Really? I am so sorry. I must have been sleep talking."
"Sure. Get up and get ready. We are leaving in two hours." He smiled and left.
I stretched my arms and stared at the bright opening of the tent. It was sunny.
I freshened up and decided to eat before a shower. My stomach was grumbling. The sun didn't let the cold hit so I left in my t-shirt and shorts. My mind was still in daze.
"Woah sir, are you iron man or something? Aren't you cold?" A student asked as I collected my breakfast tray.
I smiled at her and left to eat outside.
I settled down on the table outside and had a look at the breakfast. They were providing packaged breakfast. There was toast, butter, an egg and some fruits. I sighed. It was a light breakfast. As I ate my breakfast, keeping an eye on the students who were going closer to the woods trail to click pictures, I felt like I was being watched. I looked around and found him. He was collecting his breakfast tray, fully dressed to leave. I shoved up the remaining toast in my mouth and ran to him.
"Hey." I said like the stupid guy I was as I reached him. He looked up at me with his doe eyes.
"All ready to leave?" I asked. What was I even saying?
He nodded, walking away. I marched after him.
"Hey listen-" I started to say.
"Kwan."
I was taken aback. "Y-yeah?"
"It's fine. I understand how you feel and I am sorry. Take your time." He said and walked away, leaving me standing there dumbfounded. He stopped a few steps away and turned around. "And don't roam around in just t-shirt and shorts. The cold will get you." He turned back and left.
"Okay! Is everybody here? Let's do a head count." Mr. Leo announced as the engine of the bus started.
As the students started to count, I stared out into the woods and sighed. Even though I was mad, my actions the other night pushed me into misery. I guess I was very rude to him that night.
The whole journey back was again, joyous. The young students never lost energy. But I felt extremely tired. Was I getting old? Ugh, I hated to even think about it.
I was finally happy to be back to my place. I stripped off my clothes and without bothering to wear anything, fell on the bed and fell asleep almost instantly.
"Wake up." a voice whispered in my ear.
I opened my eyes with a frown. When Jeremy's face hovered my view, I was extremely confused.
"That's a nice sight but you should sleep with some clothes on or else you will get cold." He smiled.
I quickly sat up and pulled the quilt over me. I looked around in a daze. He walked over to the edge of my bed.
"I came to visit you two days ago but you didn't open the door. I tried calling you but your phone was not reachable for the last two days. Then it suddenly rang today but you didn't pick you so I came to make sure if you were dead inside your house and that is why I decided to use my privilege and enter." He explained, shaking his head from side to side.
"Ah...I went on an excursion with my students." I said, my voice sounding huskier.
He nodded. "I see. I thought you must be sleeping for the last two days. How was it?"
I nodded slowly. "Good and tiring."
"Carlo wanted to meet you so we visited last time. Let's set a date."
I frowned. "Why would he want to meet me?"
He squared his shoulders. "I don't know. He insisted." He smiled. "Anyway, I heard you were almost arrested for beating someone up."
I stared at him.
"Was it because of jealousy?" He wriggled his eyebrows. "Have you found someone already?"
I ran my hand through my hair nervously.
His phone started to ring and he picked it up. "Hi uncle. Oh yes yes, I am with him right now. Ah he was sleeping. What?" Jeremy frowned and looked at me. His expression tensed me up. "Okay, I will tell him." He hanged up.
"Uncle Jack said the friend of yours who you helped last time has come to the station again."
"What?"
Jeremy and I rushed to the police station. What would have happened again? Did that bastard hurt him? If he did, I wouldn't let him live anymore. I entered the officer's chamber and found him sitting on a chair, talking with Uncle Jack. I rushed to him.
"Are you okay? Are you hurt?" I asked, examining his face and body by cradling his head in my hand.
"I-I am fine." He spoke.
I sighed in relief and let go of him. I turned to Uncle Jack. "What happened?"
"He was bailed that night. And he decided to cause trouble again by destroying things in Mr. Kao's place. He also left a note, threatening Mr. Kao. We are now looking for him." Uncle Jack explained.
"Hi Uncle." Jeremy greeted, taking a seat.
Uncle Jack frowned at Jeremy.
I had never felt like beating someone up as bad as to that bastard. I looked at Kao who seemed to be avoiding my eyes. Just as I opened my mouth to say something, someone spoke first.
"I am back. Let's go Kao." A man walked in and stood beside Kao, placing a hand on his shoulder. I frowned.
Kao silently stood up. "Please make sure to find him as soon as possible, officer."
"Wait. Are you going back? He might come at your place again and hurt you." I said, frustrated already.
The man beside Kao was staring at me and I didn't like the look on his face.
"Mr. Kao will be staying with his friend for the time being, is it right Mr. Zeel?" Uncle Jack asked.
The mention of the name made my heart drop. So that was Zeel, the guy...
I looked at Kao. Was he really going to stay with him? Was he really going to hurt me again?
I clenched my hand into a fist on the desk, refraining myself from punching the Zeel guy on the face. A warm hand squeezed my hand and Jeremy stood up to stand beside me. He didn't move his hand away from mine.
"Calm down Kwan." He leaned to whisper in my ear. "Want me to make him jealous?"
Kao's eyes fell on mine and Jeremy's hands and his face immediately changed into a look of disbelief. No, no, no. There was enough misunderstanding between us already. And he was going to stay with that Zeel guy.
"Okay we will take our leave then." Zeel smiled at the officer.
"Wait." I said, pulling my hand away from Jeremy. I looked at Kao with begging eyes. "I-I think it will be better if he stays with me."
All eyes fell on Kao.
Would you choose me? Or him? Kao. I stared at him.
....