Rain stitches the city together in silver threads, relentless and loud against the pavement. I watch it smear the neon outside the bar window, my glass sweating in my hand, laughter buzzing too close in my ears.
I sit wedged into a booth between Carla and Roderick with our coats slung over the backs of chairs. The table cluttered with our half-finished drinks.
"So," Carla says, grinning as she nudges my knee with her own.
"First week at Rubical and already surviving engineer happy hour. How does it feel?"
"Like a rite of passage I didn't know I signed up for." I laugh.
"Do you all do this every time it rains?"
"Every time it breathes." Connor replies.
"Rain, deadlines, mild existential dread, it's tradition sweetie." he adds.
Roderick leans closer so I can hear him over the music.
"You're doing well, by the way. The onboarding task you submitted, it was clean, thoughtful even."
My smile comes easily.
"Thanks. That means a lot."
I am glad to help since I am part of the team now.
"Careful, Nellie. Compliments from the team lead after 9 p.m. Very dangerous territory." Parvin wiggles her brows.
Roderick chuckles, unbothered. "Purely professional. Though I will say," He lifts his glass
"We are lucky to have her."
"I think I am the lucky one."
We clink glasses, laughter blooming again. I feel warm, loose, the rain outside making the night feel sealed off from the rest of the world. I guess this is how it feels to be apart of something bigger than oneself.
My phone buzzes against the table, rattling my glass slightly. I glance down.
Devan
Are you back at the house?
My smile falters just a little. I type back under the table.
Not yet.
Out with work mates.
Another vibration comes almost immediately.
Devan
It's pouring.
Where are you?
I stare longingly at my phone screen. His question sounds too straight forward. Or maybe he's genuinely interested. I can't decide which is true.
I look around at Halima mid-story, at Jacob scrolling through photos, at Roderick's arm resting along the back of the booth, close but not touching.
Whiskey cabinet
I send.
I'm okay.
I add quickly for emphasis
The typing bubbles appear. Disappear. Appear again.
Devan
I can give you a ride back.
My chest tightens. I am sure he is still at his work place. I picture him probably still at work, sleeves rolled up, rain waiting for him outside. He doesn't need to detour for me. I can find a taxi or an Uber home.
You really don't have to. I will find a taxi.
Seconds pass.
Devan
I don't feel good about you getting into some stranger's car this late.
I smile at the text resisting the urge to roll my eyes. I can't count the number of times I have gotten into those stranger's cars.
Devan
Whiskey cabinet is closer to my office anyway. I'll come get you.
His text comes faster than I hoped. Just like that I can't argue anymore. Damn Devan. Perhaps I could put up a fight but I know it won't yield to much.
I exhale slowly, phone warm in my palm, rain hammering the city beyond the glass. When I finally look up, Roderick is watching me with a smal curious smile on his face.
"Everything okay?" he asks.
"Yeah." I mutter slipping the phone away.
"Just… logistics."
The lie leaves my lip easily. It sounds much better than 'I am texting my housemate who is my best friend's brother' I would have a lot of explaining to do which I don't need tonight.
Outside, the rain shows no sign of letting up.
Roderick tilts his head, unconvinced but polite enough not to push.
"Well, logistics or not, we're ordering another round before anyone tries to brave that storm." he mutters.
Connor groans theatrically. "If I get sick tomorrow, I am blaming Rubical culture."
"You should probably take down the drinking a notch Connor." Anushka warns.
"I can handle my liquor."
"I hope that headache treats you better in the morning."
"Guys let's toast." Carla mutters.
"Yes. Let's toast to heart breaks and wonderful liquor." Connor lifts his glass.
I am genuinely worried about Connor. I think everyone is now.
"That's enough alcohol for you." Roderick steps in taking away his glass, ignoring his murmurs.
"You're such a buzz kill Bates." he whines.
Roderick ignores him. We all do.
"I propose a toast to amazing workmates tonight."
We lift our glasses in unison.
Engrossed into the conversation on the table, I don't see him at first. I am laughing at something Roderick murmurs near my ear, his arm casually draped along the back of my chair.
I look up.
Devan stands inside the doorway, eyes locked on the scene like he just walked into the wrong room of his own life. His stare is hard and unreadable. There is something sharp flickering beneath the calm he wore so well this morning.
My first guess is such a place is not usually his hang out place.
"I...uh." I stutter, standing and reaching for my coat.
"My ride is here."
"Already?" Carla pouts.
"Traitor." Parvin says.
Roderick rises too, easy and unhurried.
"Want me to walk you out? It's coming down hard."
"Nellie." Devan says, voice even.
I straighten immediately, heat rushing to my face. Every body at the table is staring at us. It makes me feel a bit uncomfortable.
Roderick glances between us, curious but unfazed.
"Friend of yours?" he asks.
"Well guys, I think this is the end for me tonight." I ignore Roderick's question.
I hug them before I turn to a quiet Devan who watches me with a neutral stare.
"Ready?" he asks.
Guessing by the curious gazes in my workmates' eyes, I better be out of the door immediately.
Devan guides me out of the bar with his hand at the short of my back. My body is suddenly all too aware of his touch. I hadn't noticed the umbrella until he takes it out and opens it.
The ride home is quiet, rain drumming against the windows. The windshield wiper keeps wiping off the water, the movement a little too distracting.
Inside the house, Devan shrugs off his jacket and runs a hand through his damp hair.
"So," he says casually, too casually.
"You didn't introduce me to your colleagues."
It is not an accusation, more of an observation.
"You look like you wanted to be out of there as soon as you entered."
"That's a wild accusation Nellie."
"You should have seen your face though."
"Okay. Tell me about them." He leans against the counter, arms crossed, expression carefully neutral.
"There was Connor, Carla, Parvin, Anushka, Jacob, Halima and Roderick."
"And the one with the sandy brown hair?"
"That's Roderick."
"Are you both close?"
I stare at him.
"I didn't mean it like that. It's just you two looked pretty cozy."
"I wouldn't call us close. He is our team leader." I shrug.
"Mm." A beat. "Is he single?"
The question is light, almost teasing. Almost.
I meet his gaze, searching.
"Does it matter?"
For a second, something unguarded slips through. It is dark, intense and gone as quickly as it came. Is he jealous? That is impossible.
"No." Devan says quietly.
"Just making conversation."
The rain keeps falling outside but I don't sleep easily that night.