You know, When i see him or think of him sometimes, i would start doubting myself. Doubting if i even made the right decision, thinking if we couldn't have just sat down face to face and talked things out like adults. I get really tempted sometimes to just walk up to him and hug him, to ask him if we could start over again even though i know he isn't mine to have. I could count the many days i sit and ask myself how i knew he wasn't mine to have, how certain i was that he wasn't mine and who told me he wasn't mine to have—yet i knew he wasn't mine.
All this feelings threaten to end me. I wish someone had told me though, oh i remember!, i was told but it was already too late. If only they told me earlier, i would have stayed away from it. If only they didn't hide things from us so much and at least answered our questions, perhaps i would have seen the pattern and learnt from it, avoided it if necessary. Now i am broken, torn, sad(really sad). How can a person make my heart flip in joy a thousand times and at the same time cause me the greatest pain? Is love even meant to hurt?
Well i'm sitting here blaming myself, blaming them for not telling me and blaming those stupid romance movies and books that make it seem like being in love is what we need to be happy.