Seven Sins System Chapter 465. Tangled Emotions
I stared at the river blankly, watching as the surface continued to ripple, disturbed by my previous frantic telekinesis.
The water had been my savior. I should feel grateful for it. Yet as I looked at it now, there was no sense of relief, only a heavy, gnawing doubt.
A long exhale escaped my mouth. "Why did I panic because the forest was on fire? Why did I feel the need to put it out?" I asked myself aloud.
The words sounded absurd to my own ears, almost like they belonged to someone else. I couldn't reconcile the actions I had just taken with the being I knew myself to be.
This wasn't me. This wasn't the devil I had always been. The Lord of Wrath, the Inferno Incarnate—I had never cared about the collateral damage of my battles, about the destruction left in my wake. If the ground beneath me had to be reduced to ashes, flattened to a wasteland because of my power, so be it.
I never hesitated to unleash my fury, to let the world burn if it meant achieving my goals. That was the nature of who I was, what I represented. Destruction was my calling card, my identity.
And yet, here I was, standing by a river, having just gone out of my way to prevent a fire from spreading. A fire that, in any other situation, I would have let rage unchecked. The idea of it made me feel... pathetic, like a mortal who had suddenly developed a conscience or, worse, joined some kind of green movement, obsessed with protecting the environment. The thought made me sick to my core, but there was no denying the reality of what I had just done.
I shook my head, trying to dispel the doubt that had taken root in my mind. This wasn't who I was supposed to be. I was supposed to be the embodiment of chaos, the one who brought destruction wherever I went. So why had I gone against that? Why had I felt compelled to stop the flames rather than let them consume everything in their path?
I knelt by the river, running a hand through the cool water, watching as it slipped through my fingers. 'Right… that's because I didn't want those damn goddesses to know I was in the mortal realm,' I reminded myself, trying to justify my actions. That was the logical reason behind it. The last thing I needed was for the goddesses to sense my presence here. A raging forest fire would have drawn them right to me.
But still, the explanation felt hollow, like an excuse I was clinging to rather than the truth. There was something deeper, something I wasn't willing to confront. The idea that I had acted out of more than just self-preservation, that perhaps I had been motivated by something else—something more human—was unsettling. It made me feel stupid, weak, as if I was losing touch with the very essence of who I was.
I couldn't help but laugh bitterly at myself. Here I was, doubting my own sanity because I had chosen to prevent a forest fire. The irony of the situation was almost too much to bear. I had faced down goddesses, demons, and everything in between, yet here I was, brought low by something as mundane as a moral dilemma over a burning forest.
As I was about to stand up, ready to shake off this strange, unwelcome introspection and return to what I did best—destruction—something near my feet caught my eye. My gaze was drawn to a small, glimmering object partially buried in the dirt. Curious, I reached down and picked it up, holding it up to the moonlight to get a better look.
It was a rock. A smooth, purple-colored rock that shimmered faintly in the pale light. The color was striking, a deep, rich violet that seemed almost out of place in the landscape around me. For a moment, I just stared at it, turning it over in my hand, feeling the cool, smooth surface beneath my fingers.
The sight of it stirred something in my memory, something from long ago. It was eerily similar to a rock Puriel and I had found when we were kids, back when things were... simpler. Before the battles, before the betrayals, before everything had become so damn complicated.
I frowned, the rock suddenly feeling heavier in my hand. "I wonder if she's found it," I muttered to myself, thinking of the necklace Puriel had lost that morning. I had seen the frustration in her eyes when she realized it was gone.
'Should I check on her?' The thought slipped into my mind, unbidden, as if it had come from somewhere deep within me, from a part of myself I wasn't entirely comfortable acknowledging. I scoffed at the notion, shaking my head as if to dispel the ridiculous idea.
"Well, why should I care?" I said aloud, my voice harsh in the stillness of the night. But even as I spoke the words, I knew they rang hollow. The way I was holding that stupid purple rock, the way I was turning it over in my hand as if it were something precious, told a different story.
This was madness. I was supposed to be out here hunting, reveling in the thrill of the kill, not standing around in a burned-out forest, reminiscing about childhood memories and worrying about some goddess's lost trinket. I had come here to forget, to escape from the tangled mess of emotions that had been plaguing me. But instead, I was being drawn deeper into it, caught in a web of conflicting desires and memories.
I stared at the rock for a long moment. It was just a stupid rock, a piece of the earth that should have meant nothing to me. But it didn't feel like nothing. It felt like everything I had been trying to avoid. I clenched my fist around the rock, feeling the cool stone press into my palm.
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