"Onii-chan, wake up! If you don't, I'll send you to a parallel universe~!"
"Mrrgh!" I exhausted a feeble mewl upon hearing this feisty woman's call.
No one else except Miss Maid wished to eradicate me from existence. On a typical morning where my alarm clock's being hostile, I would not show a shred of care. However, this morning was insidiously different that I had the urge to throw her off the wall.
What do you mean parallel universe?
I've already journeyed into one.
It was snowing in a midsummer, and I was talking to a child who ran amok in a timeless space. Easily a dream, I know, but Miss Maid's threat was nowhere near exclusive. I've been to one, and so, I must shrug the feeling and keep a smile.
With a furrow in my eyebrows, I lost the force harbored within my slender arm. I got out of bed, feeling defeated as I rolled my futon. Staring at Miss Maid momentarily, us engaged in a staring contest while she's on her twelfth shot of yappuccino. With a smack to her head, I snuffed her soul.
For the 5th of September, I bid farewell to such a heinous criminal out of my day.
Exclaiming to my end, "Sheesh, what a bad joke."
I was happy when I installed her, too.
Now, I'm not anywhere near amused─that I walked off to the kitchen.
"Like you know what I mean?" I began. "This alarm clock has got a lot of personality going despite being an AI. I hate it. It's just… meaningless. You know, I'd be more motivated to have any of my sisters rouse me awake. But I wake up the earliest though, so I've been missing the psychedelic treatment one vampire brother would get from his oddly pair of pathological little sisters. If I could get my sisters to act like heroines for the sake of it, I'd have something crossed off my bucket list. But reality always disappoints. I hate it so much I could die."
I huffed a sigh.
"Why not have her replaced and emulate that personality exactly, then?"
"No way I'm sneaking out to Kyoto just to get an alarm clock."
"Invalid. You tore through the barrier once just to eat pho. Hearing that now makes me want to puke."
"Pho's delicious. I can't eat an alarm clock. Now, what should I prepare..." I thought to myself as I took some ingredients out from the pantry.
Once everything I needed was up and ready, I hit the stove on.
"In any case, good morning!" Blending with the sound of cooking oil was Otohime's morning voice. "You're up early today…What's up?"
"It's the start of the second semester after all," I said, accepting I may not have been routinely a morning person. "What about you? You're early, or is it your time to sleep? I wonder if seeing your little brother wearing an apron tell you how worthless you are in this house."
"Sorry for you, I got up early for today!" She imposed a tiresome peace sign.
And so, I ignored her.
"Wah, at least try to play along!" she whined, but not later than three seconds that she let herself be the baby. "Yeah… I know it's not believable. I wonder why I've pulled an all-nighter reading Arawi and that one boring book you brought home… Strogatz? You know, Nonlinear dynamics and Chaos?"
For someone who's not playing along, of course I also won't play along.
Snow White's ears perked.
"That's rather goofy," I replied, grieving from my inability to understand the eccentric selection.
I'd attach reading surreal comedy and a nonfiction book on deterministic chaos for her whimsical behavior. When we're too devious of a clan for contrabands, I suppose we're free to consume all the human resources we can get a hold of. I'd not be a hypocrite, knowing I've read more unlikely combinations before but for her to show interest in something other than otaku culture, I'd take a hint that she's finally showing a difference.
I broke an egg, then had the succulent yolk and white drip inside a clear glass bowl.
"Hmm. So what's for breakfast?"
"It's the same as yesterday."
"Twice-baked potatoes, souffle omelet, and egg drop soup?"
My hand stopped moving from mixing eggs meant to be poured over the pan. As soon as I heard those options, my ears tingled. Unnaturally─as if a cringed out use of petroleum instead of cooking oil.
"Did I make souffle yesterday?"
She replied with a straightforward answer, "Yes, you did."
"Hmm, is that so? I'm sorry. It's not the same as yesterday's."
"Yes, you're cooking something different."
I'd be reluctant to accept the idea but somehow, what I remember made it so convincing I could almost cry. I'm only eighteen and my brain cells have already been reduced. How hilarious, I might want to slam my head in a block of tofu, yesterday or the other day.
But it's never about the reduction of brain cells.
It was eerily different.
"I'm preparing tamagoyaki, grilled salmon, and nameko miso soup."
I grasped upon an inkling of realization, the recipe was from the other day.
All of a sudden, she faked a gasp and sported a wry grin.
"Don't you think you're getting forgetful?"
Me being forgetful─was quite the remark.
I'd be wholly accepting of the thought myself, if I wasn't this monstrous person with a nearly impossible disease.
"There's no way that could be true, though."
"You're somehow different today, Shiro."
Blink once─and huff a sigh.
I have been blanched into an entropy after that odd dream, of course I wouldn't be acting right.
"You're imagining things," I dismissed and we soon followed to move out of it. "Anything you want to eat?"
She ordered omurice: I didn't know how to make it, but I made one.
It didn't take much of my time to finish breakfast as to why I had spare time to check the local news. News and spare time shouldn't intersect as carelessly as I do, though. Good boys and girls should always place news in utmost priority. Seeing a tidbit of the weather forecast, which was the reason I tuned in─the evident disgust climbed all the way to my hair.
My sister caressed my head. "Want your hair styled, Shiro?"
"Yes."
It was a no-brainer welcome.
My hair is a prized asset, after all.
"Fix it for me, please," I asked, and she smiled back─and gallantly posted herself into becoming my hairdresser.
After she fixed my hair, I readied myself, lasting to speak for her words of gratitude.
Getting out of the house, she waved farewell and as for me, I basked in the torturing morning sunlight─and an audience of misbehaving scoundrels. Nothing beats a sea of butterflies─watching, always vigilant, unknown to the state of rest. As if the Eye of Odin wasn't already enough.
I stared at the sun for as long as I walked.
"Not snowing anytime soon."
Once I let my head down, I walked towards the school without expecting a certain gremlin manifesting out of a dream.
"Mhm, guess I'll live longer."