Your scene has good ideas (healing power, space world, spirit beast, survival stakes), but the raw draft has several problems that would make readers drop the story fast:
Dialogue is repetitive and unclear
Scenes jump too quickly
Emotional moments aren't fully developed
World details are rushed instead of shown
So I rewrote it into a clean, professional webnovel chapter with smoother pacing, stronger dialogue, and better immersion while keeping your story events.
Below is the full rewritten Chapter 2 (~2100 words).
Chapter 2
The Hidden Space
Ying Yue pushed open the creaking wooden door and stepped inside the small house.
The air inside was heavy with the smell of herbs and damp wood.
Before she could even take two steps, a sharp voice rang out from inside.
"I told you already! If you can't pay the rent, then take your useless daughter and go live on the streets!"
The voice belonged to the middle-aged woman who owned the house.
Ying Yue walked toward the room she and her mother rented.
When she entered, she saw the scene immediately.
The landlady stood in the middle of the room with her arms crossed, her face full of anger.
On the bed sat a thin woman wrapped in a worn blanket.
Her face was pale and tired, yet gentle.
That woman was the original owner's mother.
"If you can't pay the rent," the landlady continued angrily, "then both of you can get out tomorrow!"
The sick woman lowered her head and spoke weakly.
"I… I will recover in a few days. Once I'm better, I'll start working again."
"Please just give us a little more time."
Ying Yue walked forward quickly.
"Mother."
The woman on the bed looked up immediately, worry filling her eyes.
"Yue Yue!"
She grabbed Ying Yue's arm anxiously.
"Are you alright? Your head—why are you hurt?"
Ying Yue touched her forehead lightly.
"I'm fine, Mom. I just hit my head earlier."
"Where were you?" her mother asked nervously.
"I'm fine, Mom."
Her mother suddenly froze.
Her expression slowly turned cold with anger.
"Did you go to that man again?"
"Did he hit you?"
Her voice trembled with fury.
"I'm going to kill him myself!"
"Mom," Ying Yue said quickly, holding her arm gently. "Calm down."
At that moment, an annoyed voice interrupted them.
"Hello? I'm still standing here, you know."
Ying Yue slowly turned around.
Her gaze landed on the noisy landlady.
"So?" she asked coldly.
The woman was stunned by the girl's tone.
"So? What do you mean so?"
"I want my rent," she snapped. "Or you two can pack up and leave!"
Ying Yue didn't look the least bit intimidated.
"Alright."
"We'll leave tomorrow if we can't pay."
"You can go now."
The landlady's eyes widened in disbelief.
"Excuse me?"
"Are you kicking me out of my own house?!"
Ying Yue crossed her arms calmly.
"No."
"But you're standing in our rented room."
The woman's face turned red with anger.
She glared at Ying Yue for several seconds, but for some reason, the girl's cold gaze made her uneasy.
In the end, she snorted angrily and stormed out of the room.
The door slammed behind her.
Silence returned.
Ying Yue's mother immediately looked worried.
"Yue Yue… why did you say that to her?"
"Where will we get food or money to pay the rent?"
Ying Yue sat beside her and smiled gently.
"Don't worry, Mom."
"I'll go out later and find some work."
Her mother's eyes turned red.
"I'm sorry… I've become a burden to you."
Ying Yue shook her head immediately.
"You're not a burden."
"You'll never be a burden to me."
Her mother looked at her quietly.
"Yue Yue…"
"Wait a moment, Mom," Ying Yue said suddenly. "I want to try something."
She placed her hand gently on her mother's chest.
Her mother blinked in confusion.
"What are you doing?"
Ying Yue didn't answer.
Instead, she closed her eyes and focused.
In her previous life, she had possessed several abilities.
Fire.
Space.
And healing.
If she truly had been reborn…
Perhaps those abilities had followed her.
For a few moments, nothing happened.
Then suddenly—
A faint green light appeared in her palm.
The soft glow spread gently across her mother's body.
After a short moment, the light faded.
Her mother stared at her in shock.
"What… was that?"
Ying Yue quickly made an excuse.
"I awakened an ability two days ago," she said.
"But I didn't know how to use it properly."
Her mother was surprised.
"Why didn't you tell me?"
"I didn't want to worry you."
Her mother smiled softly.
"Silly child."
"You could never bother me."
She took a deep breath and stretched her shoulders slightly.
A look of surprise appeared on her face.
"The pain… it's reduced."
"I feel much better."
Ying Yue nodded thoughtfully.
"I think my healing ability is still weak."
"But it works."
Her mother suddenly grabbed her hand.
"Listen carefully."
"Don't tell anyone you have healing powers."
"People in this world are more frightening than zombies."
"If others find out, they might kidnap you and sell you."
Ying Yue nodded seriously.
"I understand, Mom."
But inside her mind, another thought appeared.
If my healing ability returned…
Does that mean my other abilities might still exist too?
Ying Yue helped her mother lie down again.
"You should rest."
"I'm going outside for a while."
Her mother looked worried.
"Where are you going?"
"There's no need to worry."
"I'm not going to that man's house again."
"I'll be back in a few hours."
Her mother hesitated before nodding.
"Be careful."
"I will."
Ying Yue left the room quietly.
Outside the house, the evening air was cool.
Ying Yue stood in a quiet corner of the yard and closed her eyes.
She focused inward.
Searching for something familiar.
Then suddenly—
She felt it.
Her space.
A strange pulling sensation appeared around her body.
The next moment—
Her figure vanished from the spot.
When Ying Yue opened her eyes again, she was standing somewhere completely different.
She looked around in shock.
The place was vast and peaceful.
Soft green grass covered the ground.
A small clear pond sparkled under the light of a bright sky.
In the distance stood a small wooden cabin.
It looked like a peaceful countryside home.
Ying Yue's eyes widened.
"This…"
"My space…?"
She slowly walked toward the cabin.
When she opened the door, she discovered the inside contained a small sitting room, a kitchen, and two bedrooms.
The first bedroom was empty.
But when she entered the second one—
She froze.
The room was filled with items.
Items she recognized immediately.
Her clothes.
Cartons of bottled water.
Canned food.
And several bags of seeds she had bought from a seed shop shortly before she died in her previous life.
Ying Yue laughed happily.
"This is amazing!"
"If I plant these seeds outside…"
"Mom and I will never go hungry."
The grassy land outside the cabin was perfect for farming.
It felt like a blessing from heaven.
Just as she was enjoying the moment—
A white blur suddenly jumped toward her.
"Master!"
"I missed you so much!"
Ying Yue nearly screamed.
She instinctively grabbed the fluffy thing that had jumped into her arms.
"What are you?!"
The fluffy creature looked like a small white ball of fur with bright blue eyes.
It began crying dramatically.
"Master forgot Little White!"
"Little White is very angry!"
Ying Yue sighed.
"Stop crying."
The fluffy ball sniffled.
"But Master forgot Little White…"
Ying Yue softened.
"Fine."
"I'll remember you from now on."
"Really?" Little White asked hopefully.
"Yes."
Little White immediately brightened.
"I knew Master wouldn't abandon me!"
Ying Yue raised an eyebrow.
"You're a spirit beast, right?"
Little White puffed up proudly.
"Yes!"
"I'm the most powerful spirit beast!"
Ying Yue looked at the tiny fluff ball skeptically.
"Are you sure you're not the cutest beast instead?"
Little White froze.
His eyes filled with tears.
"I'm not cute!"
"Okay, okay," Ying Yue said quickly. "You're not cute."
Little White sniffed.
"Good."
Then his stomach suddenly growled loudly.
"I'm hungry."
Ying Yue laughed.
"Come on."
She grabbed a can of food from the room and opened it.
Little White's eyes lit up when he tasted it.
"Master!"
"This is delicious!"
After eating five cans, Little White lay on the floor with a satisfied burp.
Ying Yue shook her head.
"You little glutton."
"I'm not a glutton!" he protested. "I'm Little White!"
"Sure you are."
Ying Yue picked up a bag of rice.
"Let's go back."
"Master!" Little White said quickly. "I want to go too!"
"Fine."
"But how do we leave?"
Little White scratched his head.
"How did you enter?"
"I thought about my space."
"Then think about outside!"
Ying Yue smiled.
"Little White, you're actually smart."
Little White puffed up proudly.
"Of course! I'm the most knowledgeable spirit beast!"
Ying Yue laughed.
She held Little White in one arm and the rice bag in the other.
Then she focused on leaving.
The next moment—
They disappeared.
When Ying Yue returned to the yard, she quickly checked her surroundings.
No one had seen her.
Good.
She walked straight back to the house and entered the kitchen.
Soon, the smell of rice porridge filled the air.
Just as she finished cooking—
She turned around and nearly bumped into someone.
The landlady stood there staring at the pot.
"So you have rice to eat," she sneered.
"But you can't pay rent?"
Ying Yue shrugged calmly.
"I just got the rice."
"You can come to our room later."
"I'll pay the rent."
Without waiting for a reply, Ying Yue picked up a wooden bowl and filled it with porridge.
Then she walked back to her mother's room.
When her mother saw the bowl, she looked shocked.
"Where did you get rice?"
"I'll explain later," Ying Yue said.
"For now, eat first."
Her mother shook her head.
"You eat first."
"I already ate," Ying Yue lied.
At that moment, a small voice spoke.
"Master, I want to eat too."
Ying Yue quickly whispered,
"Be quiet!"
Her mother looked confused.
"What's that fluffy thing?"
"It's… a spirit pet."
"A spirit pet?"
Little White puffed up proudly.
"I'm Little White!"
Her mother smiled.
"It's so cute."
"I'm not cute!" Little White protested.
Ying Yue sighed.
"Mom, please eat first."
Her mother finally nodded.
After eating half the bowl, she passed the rest back.
"You should eat too."
Ying Yue smiled.
"Okay."
And the two of them shared the simple meal quietly.
For the first time since arriving in this world—
Ying Yue felt hopeful.
A new life had begun.