"Finally, it's almost done.. The ultimate manga!"
I yelled this in excitement as I looked deeply into my computer screen in my dimly lit room. I had a wide smile spread all across my face as my eyes glimmered with pure excitement.
On the computer screen was a long and winding, unformatted storyboard.
I'd jump on top of my bed and stretch erratically as I'd simply be left staring at my ceiling and then my entire room, which was disgustingly littered with figurines, anime, manga, and random bits of posters from various television shows. LED lights lit up my room along with my 3 monitors and RGB gaming setup.
I'd sigh in relief with nothing really in mind.
"It's been around 2 years in the making but finally, my manga is almost done.. I just need to revise it, create a climax, and finally place the conclusion, which took me ages to come up with."
Some might wonder how or why I have this much stuff scattered across my room, but this is simply the perk of being born into a relatively well-off family that rewards you based on grades and behavior. Luckily enough, I'm the top student in my class and I've been this way for as long as I can remember so almost anything I want I can get. Along with the part-time job I have, which only further fuels my endeavors of being a reclusive shut-in.
My behavior isn't exactly much to be proud of, but it gets a passing mark most of the time.
Generally, finding a job should be hard for someone like me. But in all actuality, I know how to be relatively sincere as a front. This comes in handy when talking to adults or people who seem to constantly want some form of respect.
I have a job as a waitress in a cafe, not because I like the sight of random middle-aged dudes ogling at me with their filthy, scruffy faces. But it pays well. Of course, I'd have to put on a front whenever talking to them or anyone else, but because of this, I've gotten rather good at faking a personality and becoming a whole different person as a result of it. Not to be weird or anything.
But with that, the tips came flowing in along with my paycheck.
Besides that, this manga was the last semblance of me trying to piece my dreams back together. I'm in my final year of school, and more so than anything, I'd like to start paving a path for myself. I genuinely want to make something of myself, to not be a disappointment. Eventually though... I'd like to have friends. People I can really call my own. Falling in love with the right person, someone who doesn't instigate and initiate problems left and right without having the accountability to even attempt to solve them.
Until that promised time comes, I find myself being a recluse. Getting into fights on the internet on which series is "mid" or "peak" why Goku solos? just dumbing myself down to the bare minimum as the life I once had was eventually drowned in slice-of-life animes where everything seems so much simpler..—
But it was because of that that I was inspired to make my own story, one completely unique and better than the rest, because it'll embody every little bit of my worldviews and experiences, past and present. Hopefully, it'll be able to withstand time once I fully revise it.
Beyond being ordinary, the main protagonist undergoes significant character development, and the story unfolds in such a captivating way that you simply can't stop reading. Almost as if you're sucked into the story itself. It was wrapping up as the final battle was happening, with ideals clashing and the protagonist and antagonist going off on an epic sequence of events. I drew it in a way that would make it as captivating as possible.
Since I'm now on a week break for some holiday, I had no reason to stick to a reasonable sleep schedule and will proceed to commit to a four-day all-nighter on FFXIV.
More or less halfway through my grind, I was exhausted but not only that, I was hungry and it was 1 A.M. so it was just a matter of what took priority: Leaving the house to get something from the convenience store or waiting until breakfast in the morning.
A few minutes later.
"Thank you, please come again!—" exclaimed the clerk working behind the counter of the 7/11
"Man, I blew the majority of my money on Add-ons, DLC, and Doordash.. Might have to work some extra hours this weekend to make up for it. But then again, it was for a good cause."
I sighed in disappointment as I passed a homeless man on the side of the road. His stomach was bulging over his torn and stained pants, which contained substances I doubt I could even find in a dumpster. His sweater was no better as the thing was patched up and crummy. He looked so dirty I couldn't help but try to avert my gaze as I'd already predicted his begging for money.
But, you know I thought I'd show some hospitality. Given my circumstances, I'm pretty well off compared to him. I walked up to him, crouched down, and gave him enough money for one night at a decent hotel nearby. I popped it in the little hat he had next to him alongside his "anything helps, jesus loves you" sign.
"I hope this can get you through the night—.." I said this sincerely as I didn't really wanna look back on my life and just see myself being intolerant to everyone, everywhere.
I'd slowly get up from where I was, smiling as that one action made me feel rather warm inside. I thought to myself, maybe I'd try being a bit nicer to others, as that action alone actually made me feel rather good instead of the reaction he had to the event.
It was then that maybe I'd start changing for the better.
But the old homeless dude, whom I assumed was going in the opposite direction from me, was right behind me. I didn't notice this until this terrible warmth enveloped my back, but then it immediately transformed into a storm of pain. This repeated itself several times as I was kicked into the pathway of a car speeding along the road. In the slight effort to get up, I'd only find myself weak and unable to lift a finger. I panicked. I was terrified. I was scared. I didn't know what was happening. Why this was happening to me. My head was filling with thoughts as my backside was filled with a storm of pain and anguish.
It's not fair. WHY WAS THIS HAPPENING TO ME. I couldn't get a grip on what was going on. Before trying to reach out briefly and I saw something on my hands dripping in the moonlight.
The most beautiful crimson came into my vision. Unlike any velvet or silk, it was truly a sight to behold when I tried to reach out once more to pull myself off the street even slightly.. I'd see it, all over my hands.
But in that solitary moment all the confusion, fear sadness washed away bringing about a fit of rage. I gripped my hands with the last bit of strength I had, as all I could feel was unrivaled anger for that damn homeless person. WHY did I have to spare my time for someone who should've just died on the damn road? It didn't make sense. Why was this happening to me when all I did was try to be considerate and kind for once? Nothing made any sense, up until the very last moments, my life was genuinely flashing before my eyes.
I could see that I was a dick, I could see that I excelled in just about everything, and anything I did given, I devoted some time to it. But even still, I was more or less a shit person, but not really a bad one. I wasn't inherently evil, but I didn't act out of the goodness of my heart 24/7 whenever I could. But that one moment, where I sincerely opened myself and lent some compassion towards that old man, washed over me. I felt warm, but that warmth only further turned into sheer rage.
FUCK IT'S NOT FAIR!
Not only did my views not change, but they were further proven right. Of course, I was comfortable with lending help, but now I was simply disgusted with the thought, how could I have just given him directions, and money to further improve his life and situation? Only for him to repeatedly stab me in the back, and then push me onto the road where a car was about to speed past.
"DAMN IT..— Of course, this is how I'm about to die."
As if everything stopped in time, I heard a voice speaking out to me. It was my voice, but the tone and dialect were slightly different from my own.
"Why try so hard to fit within the confines created by an indifferent god? Why try to work within walls constructed by them when failure is bound to happen no matter how well you do in previous events? break through the box."
commented by me. I can only assume it was me, but then again, who knows.. It was freaking me the hell out.
"And finally..—"
"...As time goes on, Thine will simply continue to separate my being from everyone and everything other than me, myself, and I. For I will be true to myself, in manners and ways that may confuse or disorient others. But so long as my truth remains, I am--.. everlasting."
The name spoken wasn't my own, but oddly enough, it sounded familiar, as if I've heard it every day of my life.
I wonder where I'm going to end up after this odd omen.
It was only after that thought crossed my mind and that dialogue ended that my body would have been brutally crushed under the speeding car, my head completely bashed in along with every other part of my body. To the point, it was nearly unrecognizable. Only adding injury to insult a second car followed where my torn remains were flung onto the wall of a nearby building, and crushed by the cargo of the car that initially ran it over as the impact caused whatever it was holding to fly off.
Everything had turned to black, and finally, this agonizing trip called life was over.
...—
"Nope!.. this is not the end, y'know, people always say after you die it's just black, but we're only making it that way so we can decide what your next direction will be. Your course along the infinite parallels doesn't simply end once you die as death isn't the end!"
A strange voice had been heard; it was too early for me to be hearing voices. They're probably just some dude looking at my mutilated corpse, thinking I'm still conscious or something.
By that logic, maybe I'm still alive but too mangled to feel or perceive anything.
I'd try to see what was happening, but all that could be seen was a white humanoid figure over a pitch-black background. It was then that I'd see the pitch-black background slowly spiral into a cosmos. Stars and galaxies were all over the place, but from what I could see. Each of the white specks and bright lights expanded more and more, and life was created on the spot before my very eyes. I could see and feel energy permeating throughout the universe as this white figure got closer to me.
"Such a dejected spirit, you've lived a truly just okay life, one that was genuinely on the verge of taking a rather decent turn had that unfortunate event not occurred, but OH WELL!"
This guy was getting on my nerves, as soon as I die I've got to deal with this prick.
"Not the nicest thing to say but because of that, I'll spare you my long explanation for now and leave you with a parting gift before your new and improved life starts..—"
exclaimed the white figure.
"You'll be granted two abilities as a gift from me, an admirer from afar. I say from afar as my being is so infinitely transcendent that you'd never be able to perceive my real form, and even if you got close to doing so, you'd be driven mad and die upon comprehension from the sheer depth of my being!"
Damn, well that's a good thing to know I guess, of course sarcastically but it's nice to know I won't just be sent to a fiery pit of brimstone or boring eternal heaven where there's no wifi.
"Man, you're a terrible one, anyway. Your first ability will be the manifestation of your ideals, essentially, whatever makes you. Of course, because of this, you could either completely surpass me or bring about your downfall. Your second ability will be the innate talent to have an ability to fit into the new world you enter. These two stay within your being, and not even I or anyone else within or outside of creation shall be able to take that away from you. Inbedded into your very concept of being."
My very own ability? like powers? Am I going to some wacky hero-shounen trope world where nothing logically makes sense or? cause this whole situation is genuinely out of hand. Mainly, being that the person in front of me is just a white silhouette, and I can't feel any of my limbs.
"You're freaking out an awful lot but that's to be expected for someone who died so brutally. And because of that, I'll let you in on something for your second ability. You'll be naturally gifted, a genuine singularity in that world, blessed with talent and aptitude. Along with that, you receive a special ability/skill that accompanies the fact that you're a prodigy. And call these parting gifts and your new life, a 'grace' from someone with high expectations."
A grace, like a blessing from god? And I hope this is going to be a new start for me or just another acid trip where I'm constantly under stress. I truthfully just wish to live my life to the fullest. To do great things and eventually get acknowledged for it.
"A new start? kinda, since you'll retain your memories. It's just that you'll always have a hard time trying to remember how you were killed. That's staying blocked, along with some other emotions for good measure. Anyway, good luck to you Sumire—.. Don't chase fame, it's never gonna end well."
After the god or deity had ended his or their sentence, I was a bit shocked but not entirely, since my name was called, a name I don't really wanna recall back to, but then again, I don't know if I really wanna go through the effort of finding a new one. But even still, who knows, because the fact that everything just immediately turned pitch black and I still can't feel anything, I was concerned I just got sent to hell.
But finally, a bright light enveloped me. Soon, feeling returned to my body and not the agonizing pain I passed wi— wait.. I don't even remember how painful that was anymore. I actually—.. barely remembered how I died now that I think about it.
I'd finally appear fully, everything was within view, and it was no longer just darkness and some silhouette.
Finally, I'd find myself standing in the middle of an open road, but it wasn't exactly your normal medieval road, but one you'd see out of a world oriented around swords and magic. Filled with diversity and bustling life. I was in awe, to be honest; nothing could excite me more than the setting of the same manga I was writing. It was similar but not the same since the technology was a bit more advanced in the manga.
I'm finally going to take the chance to redeem myself, to give it my all as this was my opportunity not to be a complete recluse but one who'll show the world that my resolve is absolute. I'll be different, unique from everyone else.. screw being a go-lucky hero only caring about getting their hands on tits, but I'll diverge from everyone. If it means having a second chance to make things right, then I'm gonna do just that.
"I'll make my mark starting right here, and right now."