The morning sun rose peacefully over Hunter Academy. It's Sunday. Birds chirped. Students strolled the campus. And in the boy's dormitory, Yuji was dying. Not metaphorically. Literally. Well, dentally.
Yuji clutched his cheek, eyes hollow, jaw trembling: "Tch… damn it… how the hell did this happen…"
The culprit was plain as day, a pile of empty chocolate bar wrappers glittered on his desk like a guilt shrine. His roommate stared at him not surprised.
The final kick was a chocolate eating contest with Marlon at the festival yesterday. Dakota recorded the whole thing and Austin commentated the whole thing in a fake accent. Now the morning after, Yuji's right cheek was ballooning. His eyes twitched. His pride was decaying faster than his molars.
Dakota: "What happened, did you lose a fight?"
Yuji glared: "My teeth are killing me."
Austin: "I didn't realize until yesterday, but you like chocolate quite a bit."
Yuji: "Who doesn't?"
Marlon strolls up in mint condition: "Yo Yuji, you have my respect. You beat me last night."
Dakota: "I don't think that respect outweighs his cavities."
Yuji: "I don't have any cavities!"
Dakota and Austin stared at him blankly.
Shinatsu enters the fray: "What's going on now?"
Hijikata groaned, holding his cheek: "I just have a toothache."
Shinatsu: "Then go to the dentist."
Yuji: "Hell no."
Shinatsu: "Suit yourself."
Austin: "I get your fear of going to the dentist, but you need to go."
Yuji scowled, but his tooth throbbed again, sending lightning straight through his skull. He grunted: "Fine. I'll go. But one of you's coming with me."
Austin immediately pointed at Dakota: "He volunteers."
Dakota: "Uh, no I don't."
The campus dental clinic was strangely luxurious. Soft jazz played in the waiting area. A sign at the front read: Welcome to Hunter Academy Dental Wellness — Let's See You Grit Those Teeth
Yuji's eyebrow twitched: "Is the slogan really necessary?"
Dakota who came anyway slouched next to him, scrolling through a pamphlet: "Hm. They also have a spa. Doesn't sound too bad."
Behind the counter, a cheerful nurse waved: "Yuji Soma! The dentist will see you now!"
Yuji takes a deep breath and goes through the door.
Along with Dakota, Austin, Shinatsu, and Marlon tagged along as well purely for entertainment value.
Austin: "Let's take bets on how many cavities he has."
Marlon: "Go big or go home. I say 6."
Shinatsu: "I feel sorry for his teeth if he actually has that many."
Dakota: "I say 3."
Austin: "Excellent, I'll go with 5. Shinatsu?"
Shinatsu: "4."
Inside, Yuji sat down in the chair. The dentist, a suspiciously cheerful man with glasses grinned at him.
Dentist: "Hello Yuji, how's it going?"
Yuji: "Not too bad, besides the tooth pain."
Dentist: "Yes, I've been told. Let's go ahead and take a look inside that mouth of yours."
The dentist prepares as Yuji tried to hide his nervousness. He reclines the chair and shines a light down on Yuji.
Dentist: "Open wide."
He looks inside with his tools and notices quite the worrying scene.
Dentist: "When's the last time you flossed?"
Yuji: "I don't know. A couple days ago I think."
Dentist: "I see. And how much sweets would you say you have on a weekly basis?"
Yuji: "A few days I guess."
A bold-faced lie. Yuji eats chocolate every day.
Dentist: "Okay. I'm going to get some X-rays. Hang tight for me."
A few minutes passed and the dentist's unsurprising fear was correct.
Dentist: "Well, you have some cavities buddy. 5 in fact."
Yuji: 'Shit.'
The dentist spun dramatically, grabbing a tray of terrifying metal tools: "Let's get those filled up."
Yuji's body stiffened: "Why do those look like medieval torture instruments?"
Dentist: "Because, dentistry is medieval torture refined with anesthesia!"
Yuji tried to get up: "I'm out—"
Too late. The nurse forcefully shoved him back down with a gentle smile on her face: "Now, now. Let's open wide!"
Ten minutes later, chaos erupted.
From the waiting area, Dakota and the others could hear it.
Marlon: "What is that?"
Austin: "Probably Yuji putting up a fight."
Dakota: "Do I hear a chainsaw?"
The wall shook. A distant crash echoed through the clinic.
Shinatsu rubbed her eyes: "Why does every normal situation with you people escalate like this?"
Inside, Yuji was gripping the chair armrests like he was facing an executioner.
Dentist: "Relax, Yuji. We're almost done cleaning."
Yuji: "Almost done my ass! You've been in there for half an hour!"
Nurse: "Well, you have a lot of cavities dear."
Then—BZZZZZZZ!
Yuji's soul visibly left his body.
When they finally finished, Yuji slumped in the chair, drooling slightly, the paper bib drenched with fluids.
The dentist beamed: "All done! Let's cut back on the chocolate, okay? And brush and floss twice daily."
By the time he walked out, the both sides of his face were completely numb. His mouth refused to move properly.
Dakota tried to suppress a laugh. Failed: "Oh my god. Dude. You look like a dog after getting stung by a bee."
Austin also trying to hold back his laugh asked: "So, how many cavities did you have?"
Hijikata scowled—or tried to at least: "5…"
Marlon burst out laughing so hard he fell onto the couch.
Shinatsu: "Unbelievable."
Austin: "Boom baby! Pay up suckers. He zoomed around with his phone camera, "Ladies and gentlemen, behold: The Shogun of Sugar."
Yuji lunged for him, but tripped over the table, because balance and anesthesia do not mix. He was rewarded with the mocking laughs of the others.
They returned to the outside of the dorm buildings, still not intending to let Yuji live this down.
Austin: "Remember, no solid food for the rest of the day."
Marlon: "So just a smoothie."
Dakota: "Or pudding. Lots of pudding."
Shinatsu: "You boys realize the goal is recovery, not relapsing."
Yuji spoke through his numb lips: "I'll remember this."
Austin looked thoughtful: "You know, I actually feel kinda bad."
Dakota: "Why?"
Austin: "We could've tried to film the surgery too."
Yuji was filled with nothing but rage.
That night, Yuji sat in bed, the swelling mostly down. He stared at the leftover chocolate bars on his shelf. They glistened temptingly.
Yuji: "Not again," he muttered. "Never again."
The next morning, Shinatsu found him outside the cafeteria, already eating chocolate.
Shinatsu: "This guy's an idiot."
Dakota: "Some lessons are meant to… decay."
Shinatsu: "Why am I friends with you guys."