I woke up feeling dizzy and panting from a long nightmare. It was dawn, and I found myself in my bed at my apartment. I clutched my chest, still breathing heavily, and suddenly tears began to fall my cheeks until I sobbed harder and louder. I had felt death in Min Yun and Ji Hun's world. When I received the arrow meant for the king, I knew that was my last moment in their world. I hadn't expected it. I had experienced death—and it was terrifying. I thought I would be gone forever. I thought I would never see my best friend, Von, again.
But seeing myself in front of the mirror made me sigh with relief. I was alive, and I was back in my world. I stopped crying and stepped out of my room, heading straight to the kitchen for a glass of water. I gulped it down in an instant, feeling parched, then set the glass on the porcelain sink. I went to the terrace to grasp some fresh air—the air here was different from that other world.
I couldn't help but feel sad. I hadn't been able to say goodbye to them properly. I hadn't told them everything, especially Min Yun. Even the letters I left behind were not confessions but expressions of gratitude. But perhaps that was for the best. At least Min Yun wouldn't have to live with regret or the burden of a love he couldn't pursue. I had told him I chose the king, and he believed I liked the king. But little did he know, I liked him more. I chose the king only because I didn't want him to be hurt, just like Von had been.
But it was too late. I had already hurt him, and he believed I had betrayed him. I deserved that kind of treatment. I deserved his anger.
I looked up at the sky. The sun was beginning to rise, announcing the start of another morning.
Were Min Yun and Ji Hun looking at the same sky right now? Were their lives better than before? Had the culprit finally received their punishment? Had the king become a better ruler?
A thousand thoughts swirled in my mind, but they were interrupted when I heard the main door click. I went inside to see who had entered my apartment.
"Von!" I shouted, hugging her tightly. She hugged me back.
"I missed you," I said.
"I missed you, too," she replied.
We stayed like that for a couple of minutes before finally letting go.
"What happened to me?" I asked.
"You died in the book."
I nodded. "I thought I was dead forever."
She chuckled. "You died in a fictional world, not in the real world."
I nodded again. "I'm glad I'm alive. Death is really scary."
She smiled and showed me a plastic bag full of food. "I went to the market earlier because I'm planning to cook breakfast for us. Let's have it while we talk about 'debris in my heart.'"
Right—the book. Where was it?
"Are you looking for the book?" Von asked while rinsing vegetables in the sink.
"Yes. Have you seen it?"
"I carried it in my bag. I knew you'd be happy to see it," she said without looking at me, still busy at the sink.
I smiled, went to the kitchen table, and opened her bag. There it was—the book that had once absorbed me.
"Don't worry. It's already sealed and won't absorb you again. The story is finished."
I nodded, even though she didn't see it.
I went to the living room, sat on the sofa, and started opening the book. I began from chapter one, where the book introduced the characters. My name was there—I was one of the main characters. I read silently, recalling the warnings I had once received and the events I had experienced in that world. Everything was written in the book—more detailed, more accurate than before, when I had only been given glimpses of what was bound to happen.
I didn't know how many hours I sat there, enjoying reading the story I had once belonged to, until Von interrupted me and said the food was ready.
I grabbed my bookmark and placed it on the page I was reading so I could easily find where to continue later.
"Hmmm." I inhaled the aroma of the food served in front of us. Von had prepared kimchi rice, egg soup, an omelette, and steamed pork with cabbage. It felt like a feast, though it was only the two of us eating.
"It's plenty," I said.
"You're a big eater, I know," Von joked, laughing.
I laughed too. I was happy, but at the same time sad—happy because I was home again, but sad because I knew I was going to miss Min Yun and the king.
We enjoyed our breakfast with laughter, reminiscing about what had happened during our childhood and our high school days. It was an ordinary day, as if I had never experienced chaos.
I volunteered to wash the dishes since Von had already cooked for us. While washing, the conversation took a serious turn.
"Do you miss them?" she asked.
I stopped scrubbing the plate and looked at her.
"Yes." Sadness was visible in my eyes.
"I'm sorry for not fulfilling my promise to you," I added.
"What promise?" Von asked.
"To not hurt the king."
She gave a small, sad smile.
"It was bound to happen, I think. No matter how much we tried to stop it, if the writer dictates it, no one can change it," she said.
"I have so many unresolved things with both of them."
"I know," she replied, as if she knew everything. "You didn't confess to Min Yun either. All he thought was that you chose the king because you liked him more."
I sighed deeply. "But I think that's for the best. I wouldn't have wanted to hurt him more."
She nodded. "Yeah, it's better that way. Now that we're here, do you have any plans? Since you quit your job before?"
I thought for a moment before answering. "I want to study caregiving."
"What? Why?" Von asked in confusion.
"I realized that I want to take care of people."
Von nodded slowly.
"I'll start looking for a school that offers caregiving courses. After studying, I plan to apply at one of the caregiving centers near us."
"Okay." She chuckled. "You're impossible, you know? I thought you wanted to be a writer or something, but a caregiver? I never saw that coming."
"It was my little dream before. I'm just choosing to fulfill it now."
Our conversation continued until nightfall. Von and I spent the evening full of laughter and tears. Reminiscing was somehow both happy and sad—it all depended on how we had spent those moments and the people we had shared them with.
4 years later....
While sipping my coffee early in the morning, I heard a commotion in the hallway. I set my cup on the table and approached the nurse who was shouting.
"What happened?" I asked.
"Patient 105 tried—"
I didn't even let her finish her sentence. I ran as fast as I could to room 105.
I opened the door and saw the old lady lying on the floor.
I rushed to her side, and she gave me a weak smile.
"I'm sorry if I made you worry."
"What happened? Why are you lying here? Didn't I tell you yesterday to just rest in bed?"
"I just wanted to look at the scenery. It relaxes me."
"Why couldn't you just call me if you wanted to do that?"
"I've been a burden to you," she said, tears forming in her eyes.
My tears began to fall.
"I wouldn't be here if you were a burden to me," I said while helping her up.
"We don't even share blood, yet you are so good to me."
I tucked the blanket over her. "I told you, I treat you as if you're my grandmother."
"And you are the only one who listens to me."
I wiped my tears. "Please don't make us worry. Everyone here loves you. Just… let us know if you need help."
"My death is near… I can feel it," she whispered.
"Don't say that."
She held my hand. "If I die, please keep my belongings."
"Please…" My tears started to fall again.
"I will be reuniting with my lover soon."
I could hear the tiredness and weakness in her voice. She was too old to keep holding on. Even if it hurt, I had to assure her that I would be okay if she left this world.
I kissed her hand and hugged her.
When I was sure she had fallen asleep, I quietly returned to my station.
It had been four years since I returned to this world. Even after all this time, I could still remember clearly the moments I had shared with the king and Min Yun.
I was in my early thirties now. No boyfriend since birth. I had no plans to find someone, because deep in my heart, I was still longing for someone I could never have. I had never moved on. I always carried the book with me, reading it over and over.
Just like I had told Von, I finished my caregiving course in two years and had been working at this center for another two. At first, it was difficult, but as time went by, I learned to love my new job and career.
The old lady I had met here—she had a story similar to mine. The difference was that her fictional world was set in modern times, while mine had been in the ancient era. She, too, could not forget her lover from inside the book. I understood her completely, though I never told her my own story.
"Did she calm down?" one of my coworkers asked.
I smiled. "Yes."
"You sure know how to make her feel at ease," she said.
"I understand her," I replied.
"You know, even though I haven't experienced it myself, I believe what she says. I'm a fan of books too."
I looked at her intently. "Don't wish for it." I knew exactly what she was about to say.
She smiled. "I was just imagining—what if I were in a book? What would I feel if I met my lover there?"
I made a face to show her she was being ridiculous. She just laughed.
"Do you want to go out for lunch?" she asked.
"Yeah. I'll just finish this paperwork first."
I hurried through my tasks because I was hungry—I had skipped breakfast after staying up until 3 a.m., rereading the book I loved so much.
When I finished, I told my coworker, and we went out. We decided on a ramen shop, both craving noodles. I followed her toward the entrance, but then my eyes caught something—something familiar—something that made my eyes widen and my mouth fall open.
"Min Yun… King Ji Hun?"
The two men standing there looked exactly as they had in the other world. The only difference was their modern clothes and hairstyles.
"I was craving ramen too," King Ji Hun said cheerfully.
Tears rolled down my cheeks. I was happy—so happy—to see them here, in my world.
"Miss?" Min Yun waved a hand in front of my face.
I blinked, realizing he was standing right in front of me.
"Huh? I… I…" I couldn't even form words.
"Why are you crying?" King Ji Hun asked.
I bit my lower lip, trying not to break down completely. I wanted to hug them, but I was afraid they would think I was crazy.
"Here, miss." Min Yun offered me a handkerchief.
I accepted it and wiped my tears.
Without another word, they walked into the ramen shop. I smiled at their backs, even though they couldn't see it.
I was happy—happier than I had been in years. Even though they didn't remember me, I was grateful.
Because after four years, I had finally seen their faces again—the faces I had been longing for.
—The End—