"What's with that expression?" Sebastian asks in a playful manner, but I know that he's genuinely concerned. "I'm just conflicted. I really want to..." I pause, trying to figure out a way to say that I'm experiencing depression because my "bond" with Jason has been blocked, but I'm also terrified of it coming back. "-see this person, but I know it'll only hurt me." I carefully say, but it's useless, as Sebastian hits the nail on the head. "Is this about Madden? I didn't think you had serious feelings for him. Maybe like a crush, but after our conversation, I didn't think that he was a factor."
I'm surprised to hear a hint of disappointment in his voice. "Are you jealous? If so, you have nothing to worry about. It's not like that. I'm not in love with Jason, nor do I have a desire to be with him." Not one of my own will anyway. Sebastian nods his head. I stretch my arms to reach his neck as he hovers above me while I sit on the couch inside Sebastian's secret library.
I pull Sebastian's face towards mine and plant a small kiss on his lips. "Since we're on the topic of relationships, how about we refrain from slapping a label on ours. It's clear that you're uncomfortable with the prospect, so how about we do what we feel is right? If you choose to kiss me, then kiss me. If you choose to pamper me, then pamper me. If you choose to keep me at arm's length, then keep me at arm's length. I will do the same, and only when you're ready will we label our relationship. We won't be friends, acquaintances, or lovers. We just are."
Sebastian's face lifts into a smile. "That sounds perfect. But what am I supposed to tell my family when they meet you at the engagement party?" I shrug my shoulders. "Tell them you don't know, I guess." Sebastian sits beside me and puts me on his lap. "That sounds perfect,"
Sebastian and I spent the rest of the day working and talking comfortably. Hours upon hours pass, and I only realize how late it is when I receive a video call from Jason. It's already around that time? I excuse myself from Sebastian's presence and go into a bathroom that's more spacious than my living room. "That took longer than usual," Jason says the moment I answer the call. "Yeah, I was a little preoccupied. We might have to cut this one short."
"How come?" Jason's eyes scan my background, and I can see the moment he notices that I'm not home. "I'm hanging out with Sebastian," I say with apprehension, knowing how he feels about him. A frown instantly settles on Jason's face. "Since when do you and Sebastian 'hang out?' " He rolls his eyes, and I can't help my amusement. "Since when is it any of your business? Anyway, what's up with you?" Jason grumbles and begrudgingly drops the topic. "Nothing much, just tired. How is everything going with the sponsors of our summer line? I'm assuming you've been working on it."
"Of course I have. We have the beach location. The ocean itself is fairly clean, but since it's a popular spot, they're ordering a beach cleanup. They already have a few volunteers. A couple of high schoolers have already volunteered for community service hours, and some good samaritans. Our models are cleared, and the stage setup payments have been made. Our host has marked the setup in his calendar, and Maya is quick with our outfits. Unlike the galla, everything is going perfectly."
"Good good. Maybe it wasn't the best idea to talk about this while you're in enemy territory." I roll my eyes at the comment. "Sebastian isn't like that. Besides, what advantage could he gain from knowing our operations are going smoothly? It's not like I went into the specifics."
"You don't know the first thing about him. I didn't expect you to be so easily seduced."
"Listen, I don't want us to leave off on a bad note, so I'm going to pretend you never said that. Goodnight, Jason." I hang up the call before he can insult me further. I return to Sebastian's side. "Everything good?" He asks. "Yes," A comfortable silence falls between us until Sebastian breaks it. "I don't really know anything about you,"
"Wasn't that the whole point when we started out?" I grin. He tilts his head as a way to say touche. "Well, we're experimenting, aren't we. Let's see, what's your greatest regret?" I lift my eyebrows and dramatically whistle. "Usually, people start with something simpler." I'm reminded of my conversation with Jason when I asked him about his past. The memory makes me chuckle. "My greatest regret...that's a tough one. I guess not living for myself. I was always concerned about everyone around me, and the one time I did something for myself, the one time, I was screwed over. I never looked back after that. So what's your greatest regret?"
"I let the person closest to me distance themselves until it was too late." His eyes turn somber. I want to pry, but I have a feeling that it has something to do with his lover. It's best to let him come to me rather than dig around for information. "Let's reverse it, what's one thing you will never regret?" I ask.
"Knowing you," He says instantly. I'm taken aback for a moment before settling down with a devious grin. "Don't speak too soon," His laugh shakes my stomach, and I have the sudden urge to hug him. "No, seriously, you've been so patient and understanding." Since we've agreed to do whatever feels right, I act upon my desire. Instead of wrapping my hands around his neck, I wrap them around his torso, press my chest against his, and lay my head in the crook of his neck. His body tenses before he relaxes into me. He hesitantly wraps his arms around my waist, but settles in nicely once he's comfortable. "Sorry, I got the urge after hearing your laugh. It's kind of addicting." His laugh feels relaxing as I lie on his chest. "I've never heard of that one before." My head vibrates against his chest, and it reminds me of a big teddy bear. Like a child, I subconsciously rub my head on his neck and squeeze him tighter.
When I feel no reaction from him, I think I've taken it too far. "Is this too mu-" I'm caught off guard by the sight presented in front of me. Sebastian's face is flushed, and his eyes hold an emotion that I can't quite put my finger on. "That was...so cute." He slightly stutters. A deep blush spreads across my face, and I instantly retract from his body. I clear my throat before bashfully speaking. "Let's forget that happened." I cling to my pride. "Definitely not. I didn't know you had such a side to you. You're always so confident and flirtatious. It's a first to see you so flustered and cuddly. Kind of like a kitten."
"Unfortunately, I've heard this before. It's not like I try to hide it or anything. I just don't have reason to display it." I keep my head down and avoid eye contact with him. Get yourself together, Soren! "I'd say we're getting to know each other just fine." He smiles. It's not like Jason's boyish smile, but it holds its own charm. It's the kind of smile that brightens any room. "Right," I say, breathless. "What's one thing you will never regret?" He asks. "Getting to know you," It's his turn to grin. "I wouldn't speak so soon,"
This reminds me of our first 'date' when he told me about his enormous family. "Are you nervous about the engagement party?" He asks me. "Not really. Maybe when I get there and see everybody."
"I don't get it. You should be used to public speaking by now; it's your job. I've never seen you mess up until the galla when you were flying around by whatever means. Even then, you kept it as professional as possible. What happened that day anyway?"
"I wish I could tell you, but I, myself, don't know. It was a mess. I'm just glad that Jason caught me when he did."
"He never should've put you in that position to begin with," Sebastian says sternly. Ironically enough, it reminds me of Jason. They're so similar in certain aspects, maybe that's why they don't get along. If I tell Sebastian that Jason wasn't the one who put me up there, it'll only raise more questions. "It's not his fault. Technical difficulties,"
Sebastian looks at me with skepticism in his eyes. I would like to ask Sebastian why he and Jason are on the rocks, but it feels wrong since I'm closer to Jason. I'd rather both of them tell me than get a one-sided point of view. "Anyway, public speaking for work and socializing with family are two different things. Nothing but perfection is expected when I do my job, and I'd rather that than the commitment it takes to be a part of a family and not get paid." I get our conversation back on track. "So you don't like the emotional aspect of it." He hits the nail directly on the head. "Bingo,"
"I get it. It can be draining at times. Especially if you're an older sibling. How many siblings do you have, again?"
"Three huge brothers and one sister," Sebastian winces and chuckles. "A house of mostly males, while I live in a house that's predominantly female."
"You have it worse than I do. Women are too much work. Don't get me wrong, my brothers can be pushy, but they aren't as much maintenance. But that could also be because I don't have much of a relationship with them. Speaking of which, one of my future sister-in-laws is pregnant. I wonder if her due date is around the corner." I think aloud
Sebastian and I talk for a while longer before I leave. When I get home, I receive a message from him saying, 'Good night, kitten. Sweet dreams.' The nickname makes my face go red. As long as he doesn't call me that in public, we're good. I don't know what's wrong with these men and their pet names. I reply, saying, '...*sigh*, this is going to become a thing, isn't it?' My only reply is a smiley face. I roll my eyes and wish him a good night before retiring for the night.