Mind over matter, soul over mind, and one's self over the soul.
Dying... Again, and being yanked across the galaxy in soul form as a minature Traveler was enlightening as I did not have the filter of a human body and mind to shield myself from the eldritch truth of reality.
Magic, sorcery, psychic manifestations... They were all exactly the same. Merely forces of energy, whether it be 'magic' or literal mental energy, forcing reality to bend to your will.
"Tool, son, weapon, salvation, ô̷͕b̸̝͊j̸̳̈e̷̼͐c̸̡̈́t̸͇͒i̴̻͘v̶̙̕è̸͉... Your service has not ended." A voice hammered into my soul before my soul was surrounded by harsh divine golden light.
Then, with my enhanced senses of my soul I could sense them later on. The heretical... Malformed and disgusting souls that had been latched onto by She who thirsts. Then later on, souls protected by a deathly energy and a symbol I recognized as the Ynnari.
'Did the Emperor sell me off to the Ynnari?' I thought and then I with my 'mind' coming more to. I realized what had happened.
My suicide bomb had worked as intended. No doubt, I had destroyed the planet, probably fucked up the Word Bearer's as well. But there was a massive cost. To myself at least, as I had no doubt anyone else would applaud the loss of a single ship to destroy the Word Bearer's current home world.
Memories of Barhgest... That, overgrown golden retriever of an Ogryn. Along with all the rest of my guardsmen and the Sisters of Battle.
Memories of the lost filled my mind, and even though I literally didn't have the body to cry with. I could feel my very soul as I mourned the lost allies, companions, and even... My friends in the simple Ogryns.
A haze of power encircled my soul, and I felt an ache as the Warp reverberated, as my soul was stuffed into a stasis tank of some sort. But all too soon, as what was obviously the Haemonculi of the Dark Eldar used their foul sorcery and magic. To begin the gestation process to form me a new body.
But as sample cells were introduced into the gestation pod, and the Emperor began binding my soul to those cells. I realized all too quickly that I could FEEL the cells I was soul-binding to all too well.
Time passed by as the Ynnari's death essence flowed through me, and I could feel the death essence the Ynnari and the Emperor's essence intertwine within myself in a deadly dance of competing divine energies before they settled in a sort of yin-yang pattern.
With Ynnari's death essence being the yin, and the God Emperor's energy being the yang. But I was more focused on how I could count and feel every cell, every nerve that was forming into my body.
Then... It happened.
The Warp BURNED! A scream of agony, fear, and rejection rang out in hopeless denial before I felt shredded divinity being forced into my body and that told me all I needed to know of the Emperor's plans as my soul bloated with the power of a murdered lesser chaos deity.
The God Emperor was up to his old bullshit... And he was making me into a Primarch. But I had no idea where he got the random chaos minor god he could shred to annoint my soul with.
'Who the hell am I kidding, I bet there is an even dozen more baby chaos god's sealed in the Black Cell's below the Imperial Palace.' I thought before my 'self' became clouded as over time.
My newly forming body was clouding my soul, and self, with the 'thoughts' of my mind translating of them both. But as my body continued to form, I also realized all too quickly that there was some fucky shit going on.
I could feel via this weird new connection to all the parts of my body the issues that became apparent. As there were things, traps, and other things that most certainly did not fit in my body that were obviously being put in there by the Dark Eldar Haemonculi.
But, I couldn't exactly destroy them with how they, the Haemonculi were doing the ground work for physically giving me a body... So I sealed the poisons, the bugs, the tampered with brain matter so that I could remove them after I was 'safe' for at least a time.
Time continued to pass by in an indeterminate amount. Where I mostly just shut down my mind, so that I wasn't driven mad by the lack of stimuli beyond the sharp pains of nerves coming to life and growing within my body.
Until finally, I heard an actual noise beyond the bubbling of the nutrient fluids around myself as I floated in the gestation tank. My eye's opened, and light for the first time in Emperor know's how long graced my eyes.
My view was of what was obviously an Eldar woman. Not likely a Haemonculi due to how her body wasn't corrupted by horrible experiments, but with my soul perception. I saw that she bore the mark of the god Ynnari.
Meaning she was one of the Ynnari herself, even if I couldn't recognize the dark-haired woman with eye shadow, and the typical Eldar long ears.
"He has awoken." The eldar spoke quietly with my enhanced senses picking up her voice even past the tempered glass of the gestation tank.
Several forms in the distance closed in on my gestation tank. And I paused as I most certainly could fucking recognize the blue blueberry Roubute Guilliman, my 'big-brother' approach directly in front with the eldar moving out of the way.
But on my sides, I held in a reaction of disgust as I could feel the covetous, and rapacious desire in the eye's of the two Haemonculi of the Dark Eldar with one of them even carrassing my damned gestation tank with a twisted hand that had webbing between it's fingers.
"Are you aware? Do you know what your name is?" Roubute Guilliman barked more then anything and I could feel the Emperor's power around me in force. And I realized that I must be on Holy Terra itself, with how pure the Emperor's power was.
So I just nodded and then with a twitching limb... I sent up a thumbs up.