The turbulence that slammed into me the moment I stepped out of Aetherius' relative order was like nothing I had felt before.
The space around me twisted and stretched to such distances and dimensions I could only perceive what was going on for ten far too long seconds before even my mind shut down in an attempt to preserve itself, only a small string of light that wasn't light remaining in my psyche.
I felt my astral self stumble and twist and nearly fall into the chaotic swirl of nothingness but some instinct, natural or imprinted by the portal's ritual I did not know, told me to grab onto the string and not let go no matter what.
And grab it I did.
I felt myself be stretched out and compressed in an instant, only to reform fully just to experience the nauseating feeling all over again.
It went on for what felt like an eternity...
Until, in what was shorter than a blink, I simply snapped out of the chaos, and felt my boots land on a soft leaf-covered forest canopy, the endless noise of before replaced by a complete, and absolute silence.
What awaited me as I opened my eyes was as amazing as it was terrifying.
On all sides, I was surrounded by a grand forest of massive twisting void black trees, the sole source of life being the uncountable leaves that shone with starlight and winked in and out of existence with seemingly no rhyme or reason.
Before I could stop myself, an astonished breath left me and I breathed in the most volatile yet crisp breath of air I ever did consume.
For a moment I felt like I was about to be ripped out of this forest of the void and back into the swirling chaos but the string of guiding light in my mind's eye remained and I grabbed onto it, feeling the tug on my being disappear alongside the breath.
'Well now' I hummed, feeling the sound disappear the instant it got a few centimeters away from me 'How novel.'
'Yeah pops, fuck no. I am not vibing with this fucking place.'
'Going to puss out on me, Scorch?' I smirked as I started scanning with my other senses 'Where is your sense of adventure?'
'Back on my cushy silken pillow, you damn n'wah!' He screeched back.
'We can always make a new pillow~' I singsonged mentally 'Just need to find us some feathers. Oh wai-'
'Yeah, yeah I will stop complaining now. Fuck off.'
'Weak' I snorted, and smiled as I finally found my mark on Tamriel, still seated firmly on the surface of my soul 'Seems like we are going to be able to find our way home after all.'
Scorch said nothing but I felt him emit a wave of intense relief.
'Well' I decided as I failed to notice any movement in the 'forest' around us 'Might as well get moving.'
Thus decided, I took hold of the string of light, and began walking.
With each step the forest around me twisted and shifted, trees elongating and rotting only to regrow an instant later, or simply disappearing and reappearing in the distance as I desperately clutched at my guiding star.
'I will paint this scene one day.' I decided, eyes wide in wonder.
Suddenly, after a- fuck I don't actually know how long I walked... I felt the urge to blink, and the moment my eyes opened I could swear I saw a flicker of familiar light in the distance.
But that was not all, as a incomprehensibly massive eel-like creature twisted between the trees, its mere aura making me feel like I was being disintegrated atom by atom as I immediately did my utmost to look as tiny as I possibly could.
'Why the fuck is an eel floating through a forest?!' Scorch demanded.
'I don't fucking know!'
'We are so dead!'
'Shut.'
'No, fuck you bitch. We were all cozy and shit but you had to drag us here!'
'Scorch'
'Fuck off pops, I am too beautiful to be eaten by a fucking void eel!'
Half tempted to strangle the little shit, and very luckily distracted from attempting to comprehend the being, I did not even notice it as it simply blinked out of existence, its aura completely gone.
"Fuuuuck" I breathed out, but made sure not to inhale afterwards.
Unwilling to risk anymore 'encounters' I redoubled my pace.
One moment I felt like I had been walking for an eternity, and the next I was looking at a nearby forest clearing, the familiar light of a fire drawing my eyes after so much time spent staring at, and being stared at by, starlight.
A familiar shuffle in the woods behind me audibly yelp as I bolted for the clearing, and just before a maw the size of a planet could snap around me I passed through some kind of invisible bubble, the odd unknowable air of the Forest behind me giving way to one I was far more familiar with as I stumbled onto the dirt and was sorely tempted to hug the damn thing.
For a moment I swear I could hear what sounded almost like a disappointed gurgle from the thing I had just narrowly dodged as it turned around and slithered away.
Out of habit more than anything, I took a deep breath, stood up, and dusted off my robes, clearing my throat and pretending as if nothing had happened.
"Field trip as fun as you expected it to be?" A voice I doubt I'd ever forget rang out.
I rounded up at the source only to see a familiar old man stated at a bench-table, cup of steaming tea in his hand as he looked down at me with bored amusement in his eyes.
"Hope to have entertained, at least" I drawled and walked up to him, taking a seat without waiting for an invitation, and summoning a cup of my own, one filled with a proper beverage.
"It was quite amusing" He hummed, taking a far too long sip of his drink "In a watching a sad lost puppy try and beg for food kind of way, of course."
Up rose my middle finger.
"Still as bold as the first time we met" He quirked an eyebrow, voice slightly pleased "You aren't afraid of angering me with such disrespect?"
"As if you cared" I roll my eyes at the blatant poke and take a sip of my coffee, Scorch poofing into existence atop my shoulder as I tossed him a treat before facing the being once again "And I wasn't bold back then, I was apathetic."
"True, true" He nodded and smirked, giving Scorch a mildly curious look as the bird man did his best to ignore him "It is good your stint at ruling hasn't killed your spunk, that would have been quite disappointing."
"They can have it when I am dead" I retorted, and after taking one sip more, I narrowed my eyes "So what was that little stroll about? And what is this place? I was meant to pop out in a land that fit my parameters, not some kind of incomprehensible eldrich landscape."
"The answer to that, as you will find" He spoke up with a deliberate patience "Is quite simple."
"So, what? You dragged me here?" I asked.
"No" He deadpanned "Even if I would have invited you at a later date."
Did I fuck something up? "What is it then?"
"Simply put?" He paused before bluntly telling me "Yes, you fucked something up."
Of bloody course I did "How?"
"You were so certain your translations were perfect" He explained "That the moment you translated the surface meaning, you immediately moved on to the practical applications of the book."
The implication was as plain as plain can be "Oh."
His lip twitched upwards at my reaction.
"To make a far too long story slightly less exhausting" He went on "You failed to make your passage small and silent enough not to get pulled out, and you got yourself yanked into the void's 'gravity' pool."
Yeah, that tracked "So, what now?" I asked, leaving the issues for later me to deal with.
"Now?" He asked, once more amused "I get to browbeat you a bit before sending you on your way."
"And there it is" I sighed.
"Oh don't be like that" He chuckled "You are on the more successful end of those I give my direct attention. You just need to be reminded that you are still in fact capable of making mistakes."
"How wise." I drawled.
"Your sarcasm doesn't make me any less right." His expression remained utterly serene.
And he was completely correct, much to my annoyance.
"Alright, fine." I sighed "Point taken."
"Good." He smirked "I hate it when I have to play babysitter."
"Why ever bother with that now that you mention it?" I asked and then narrowed my eyes "And who are you, really?"
That question has been bothering me for far, far too long.
He just kept smirking and said nothing.
"Yeah, I expected that" I sighed in defeat before looking back up "Can I at least know what you want from me?"
"Just do your thing" He shrugged.
"Just... do my thing?" I blinked.
He nodded with utmost seriousness "Yup."
Fuck it.
"Alright." I shrugged.
At this point, overthinking it would just be painful.
He clapped his hands "Excellent."
"I do have a tiny little offer however." He went on, and smirked as I immediately glared at him.
Grumbling internally, and preparing for the worst, I accepted my fate and asked "What is it this time?"
"Oh just a little errand" He said "I need a message delivered."
"A... message." I blinked, it has been a while since I was asked to do something so menial it was almost refreshing "And is this message going to push me into a position of responsibility like the last little 'interesting nudge' you gave me?"
"You are a very paranoid man, you know that?" Fucker was still smirking.
"That wasn't an answer." I pointed out.
"It wasn't. My, how perceptive of you" His eyes glinted for a moment before he shook his head "But no, I doubt you will want to spend too much time at the destination so I will simply throw you in there, and all you need to do is read my message before fucking off right back to this place."
"Right" I nodded, still waiting for the actual explanation.
"And in return" He waved his hand, indicating the clearing "You get the use of these Crossroads."
Immediately, I took a good look around. The 'Crossroads' looked like a large campsite, with enough room to contain a small village if one was frugal with their space.
Naturally, all it contained now was a single table with two benches attached, and a campfire a few steps away from it.
Nothing all that, I turned back to my host "I can see how useful that could be." I admitted "But it seems like I am getting a lot for very little."
"Politics really have taken their toll on you, haven't they?" He asked, expression both commiserating and amused "I suppose that is the sacrifice you had to make so that your wife didn't go full murderous rampage on everyone."
Up went my other middle finger.
He huffed and waved me off "Consider this the random investment of a bored old man. No strings attached."
My stare dragged on for a long while until I accepted the simple fact this being could quite literally not give a single fuck about any kind of debt I owed him. I knew, deep in my soul, that he could entice me in a trillion different ways I could not even comprehend if he wished to.
So as a mortal facing the full force of nature, I did the smart thing and went with the flow.
"Alright." I exhaled, best just rip the band aid off "Fine. Where am I going?"
"Just a random middlingly magical world still stuck in its dark ages." He waved his hand dismissively "There is a squad of five chuckleshits over there that think their mild control over causality gives them the right to ritually consume billions of souls as a snack, and I find this to be personally insulting."
"So what, am I to deliver them an official cease and desist?" I deadpanned.
He laughed at that, rising his cup in a faux salute "Funny as that would be no, I just need to appear in a place of my direction, and read this aloud." And without the slightest echo to any one of my senses, an ancient looking scroll appeared in his hand.
The moment my eyes landed on the emblem sealing it, my face twisted into my cruelest grin.
"Oh you are one merciless motherfucker." I couldn't help but praise.
"Not like the little shits don't deserve it." He grinned back, and for a short moment my instincts screamed at me to run and hide as far as I could.
But in a blink, he was back to normal and leaning back on his bench, once more relaxed.
Going to shove that feeling somewhere and forget about it.
"Who pissed you enough for-" I waved my hand at the scroll as I centered myself "This?"
"You will find out quite quickly" He smirked.
"Of course." My lips thinned.
He waited a few minutes for my thoughts to race by before speaking up "You may ask your questions now."
Feeling just a tad miffed, I asked "Was I really that obvious?"
"Anyone would have questions in a situation like this." He shrugged.
"Fair point." I nodded "How much time has passed on Nirn?"
"Ha, a classic!" He grinned and clapped his hands "Not a second."
""Whut."" Both Scorch and I gawked at him.
"Did you really think this place ran on linear timeline rules?" He quirked an eyebrow.
"Huh" I breathed out "That makes a terrifying amount of sense. So when I decide to return, when will I appear?"
"However much time you have subjectively perceived in the meantime." He explained easily and before my panic could set in he raised a hand "But this is without taking your will and intent into account."
"So... how controllable would it be then?" I pressed, a slight hint of relief passing through me.
"A few months later at most for now" He shrugged "It is a bit of a diceroll as far as things go but it shouldn't be too much time." His cup refilled "You should also grow better at controlling it as you grow in power and experience, so it isn't a permanent issue. But you will always return after you left, no matter what."
Hearing that, I just slumped against the table "Thank fuck for that."
He just patiently hummed for a while before speaking "Part of me didn't expect you to get so attached so quickly. A surprise, but a welcome one."
Pushing myself back up and glaring at the cheap reference I responded with a shrug "The place and the people have grown on me, and just because I am at my core a bit whimsical doesn't mean I want to abandon all those close to me." I pointed at him "Besides, what do you mean by surprises? Aren't you like omniscient or something?"
"Hah" He barked out a laugh before giving me a dry look "Do I look like I have that kind of patience on my hands?"
"So you aren't omniscient then?" I probed.
"Who knows?" He smirked "Maybe I am just a slightly more powerful being playing around with your soul so I can consume it later after delivering a shitty and far too long villainous monologue, one you will go on to defeat with the power of friendship and a bullshit powerup?"
"Alright, alright" I rose my hands in surrender "No need to tug at my paranoia."
The being known as Robert smirked victoriously.
Letting that line of questioning go, I asked another thing that had been digging at me "So what is this whole place?"
"The Forest Of The Void" He deadpanned "Did the title of the little book I forwarded you not make it clear?"
Pushing down the impulse to go 'Oh really?!' on the entity, I just deadpanned.
Thankfully, he was just having fun at my expense and actually answered "In essence, the Forest is just the chaotic sea of energies between the more calm and orderly realms it surrounds on all ends, many beings perceive it in their own way, but since you were introduced to it as the Forest, you see a forest."
God damn higher dimensional bullshit.
"And the Crossroads?" I asked, even if I had a hunch.
"A domain and a safe haven in one, this one is under my personal ownership" He answered simply "There are not many beings roaming the forest that would even consider entering this place, so treat it like a base to travel from and back to."
"Why wouldn't I just teleport directly back home instead?" I couldn't help but ask, and quickly added "After I fix up my portal ritual, of course."
He pretend to consider the question before shrugging "I will just let you find that one out on your own."
"Of course you will" I deadpanned.
"Ready to move on?" He asked after a while "Or do you need a bit to rest?"
"No, I am quite fine" I waved him off "Just need to check something."
[You do know I can feel your intent, right?] I saw the bored question pop up.
"Well" I muttered "That is totally not terrifying and incredibly invasive."
"So sayeth the man who likes to melt minds as an interrogation method." He retorted simply.
I raised a finger to make a counterpoint before meeting his amused eyes and slowly lowering it in defeat.
Right, I'm just going to get to it now.
[Probably wise.]
Suppressing a shudder, I opened up my status screen.*
======
[Reyvin of Great House Dagoth, and Imperial House Septim]
[Race: Ashen Ehlnofey][Age: 41(156)]
[Statistics]
[Str: 200] [Tier 8]
[Dex: 210] [Tier 8]
[Vit: 400] [Tier 6]
[Mind: 500] [Tier 6]
[Mag: 10000(50000)] [Tier 6]
[Div: 2500] [Tier 6]
[Greater Aspects: Anti-Outsider, Ash]
[Lesser Aspects: Mortality, Defiance, Deceit, Fire, Life, Fate]
[Skill Trees]
[Grand Archmage of Tamriel]
[Respected Expert Warrior]
[Master of Intrigue]
[Abilities]
Magnus' Gaze
Ancestral Summoning
[Traits]
**The Ashen Spirit: Immortality, Invulnerability, Divinity, Lesser Blank, And Fire, a lot of fire.
***Sun And Shade: Scorch, Krein, The Shades.
****Restorer Of The World: Loved, Respected, or Feared, by all of Tamriel.
Walker Of Worlds: Increased Resistance To Void Influences.
Blessed Of Aedra And Daedra:
Mephala's Blessing (Chosen): Deceit
Kyne's Blessing: Healing
Mehrunes' Blessing: Destruction, Hope
Auri-El/Akatosh's Blessing: Time, Sun
Zenithar's Blessing: Crafting (Perfectionism)
Azura's Blessing: Mysticism
Boethiah's Blessing: Warfare
========
I hummed in satisfaction at what I knew I'd find but then found myself blinking in surprise as my eyes landed on the freshest addition to my list of traits.
Robert, apparently amused by my surprise, asked "You didn't think an achievement like that would give you nothing, did you?"
"I never know with this random number generator ass spreadsheet" I fired back flippantly "And speaking of random numbers, what are the tiers about?"
"Just a close approximation of your power level on the universal scale" He answered in a bored tone "Tier 10 is a random human, tier 7 is a walking nuke but your versatility puts you on a low 6, and and tier 0 is someone with the three O's. Don't rely on this too much though, it is vague on purpose."
'What is the fucking point of giving me the information then!?' My eye twitched at his flippancy, but it was admittedly good to at least have some idea of what was going on.
"Got you all excited now, have I?" He smirked "Ready to set out?"
"Just throw me at the fucking demons now, please." I sighed.
"As you wish!" He snapped his fingers.
And I was once more sent hurtling through the void.
----------
*Added some explanations to explain the condensation of the traits and effects.
**(Combined from Traits: Heart of The Mountain, Ashen Constitution, Lorkhansson, Reyvin's Reticence, Allseeing Third Eye, and Unbound)
***(Combined from Traits: Sunfire Bond, Dovah-Thur, and his summons)
****(Combined paragon traits, effectively has one for every Tamrielic race to differing degrees)
I also removed the equipment from the official system but will toss it down here in case you want a reminder.
[Equipment]
[Sharmat's Reach: 5x mag, Magnus' Gaze buff, Emergency teleport]
[Dragonfell Amulet: Time resist.]
[Vestments Of The Blasphemer: Divinity buff, bloodline locked, weightless plate, 1000% mag regen, 500 mag spell absorb, emergency ethereal time slow]
[Mercy's End: Blasphemy's Stick, Enchantment-to-spell conduit]
[War-Crown of Kogoruhn: Shade Upkeep, Thu'um buff, dmg resist, fear aura]
[The Blade of Blasphemy: Vorpal, anti-undead/daedra, Rule Breaker.]
[The Shroud of Reyvin: Supreme magical stealth, hides the soul perfectly]
[Auri-El's Bow: Anti-evil, sunhallowed arrow combo]
[The Mortal's Razor: Lifeforce stealing, Reality twisting, Critical Destruction, Cursed Wounds]
[Surge: Mega Magic Stick]
[Void's Blink: Conceptual Weak Point Finder]
-----
The time of tribute is come!
Delivering the tribute to our new associates, the Machine Cult is also acceptable.
The moste terrible locale of the Patreon is possessed of 16 chapters of Sorcerer's Tale and 12 chapters of Shiny and Chrome should you decide to rise above the rabble and eat more than mere soup (at patreon .com/ Rastislav156)
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