I lifted my arms into the air, basking in the freshness. "Ohhh! The fresh air! I missed it so much!"
And then—
ROAAAAAAR!!!
The crowd erupted like an earthquake of voices.
Cheers filled the stadium. Shocked gasps turned into chants. Some were crying, others shouting. The surreal spectacle of it all—a treasure box exploding out of a rabbit's butt—had completely overridden logic.
Ronald screamed like a banshee.
"A-A-A GHOST!!!"
He flailed backward, eyes wide in sheer terror, and fainted with flair, crashing to the floor in a dramatic heap.
My triumphant gaze swept across the battlefield—until it landed on the rabbit monster.
What remained of it.
Its massive body lay in a grotesque heap, torn clean in half, blood gushing from its split abdomen like a waterfall of crimson. Steam rose from the charred innards. Its glassy eyes stared lifelessly at the ceiling, and pieces of its once-regal fur floated in the air like ash.
I frowned.
"...Gross."
Rona's voice cut through the awe.
"Lil killed poor rabbit! Lil the rabbit killer!"
"Hey!" I spun on her, hands on hips. "It's not my fault the stupid rabbit monster had a stash of grenades in its stomach!"
Rona blinked. "Rabbit has grenades in their tummy?"
I deadpanned, raising a single finger. "Yes. And this—" I gestured grandly to the blood-drenched battlefield— "is what happens when you eat random things. It goes kaboom."
Rona tilted her head, jaw hanging slightly. The gears in her mind visibly ground to a halt. Her expression twisted into one of absolute bewilderment.
Then she wobbled—
Thud.
—and landed squarely on her butt, a dazed look in her eyes.
She blinked up at me with the seriousness of a child absorbing a holy commandment.
"So... as long Rona doesn't eat grenades, Rona won't kaboom!"
I sighed and walked over, offering her my hand. "That's right."
Rona grabbed it and let me pull her to her feet. She dusted herself off with dignity, as if she hadn't just been flattened by logic.
And then—
"You're the most disgusting person I've ever met."
Mimi's voice dripped with pure contempt as she stepped into view, eyes narrowed, nose wrinkled like she was smelling something foul.
I ignored Mimi's words entirely and dropped to my knees like a soldier watching their sword break after war.
"Wait... where is it...?"
My eyes darted across the arena floor, frantically scanning the aftermath of the explosion. Smoke curled through the air. Broken bone fragments and scorched meat still sizzled—but there was one glaring absence.
My treasure chest was gone.
"No... No. No. No. No—" My voice cracked with panic. "Where is it?!"
It felt like the bottom of the world had dropped out beneath me. The absence of that ridiculous, creaking, poop-launched box crushed me harder than any enemy.
"Why... hegh... hegh... My treasure chest... WAAHH!" I collapsed fully onto the ground, sobbing like a heartbroken widow at a funeral. Tears flowed freely, my wails echoing across the ruined field.
"All our precious memories... Our ride through the intestines… the grenade snuggles... the explosion... Huhuhu..."
Ronald stirred, groaning as he blinked up at the ceiling. "Urgh... what happened…?"
His eyes opened just in time to see me, weeping hysterically on the dirt, face buried in my hands like a melodramatic soap opera star.
He jolted upright. "W-Wait! What's going on?! Why is Lil crying?! Did someone die again?! Did I die?!"
He held his head, trying to recall through the mental fog. "Let's see… Lil escaped… I screamed… I fainted… Yep. That tracks."
"So…" Ronald turned to Rona, pointing nervously at me. "What happened to her?"
Rona rolled onto her back and replied like it was the weather. "Lil lost her treasure chest."
Ronald blinked. "Treasure chest? What treasure chest?"
"The one she blasted out of the rabbit's butt." Rona giggled.
Ronald stared at her blankly for a long moment before realization crashed into his face like a delayed spell effect. "Oh… that treasure chest."
He shuffled closer and gently patted my back, like consoling a puppy that just lost its chew toy.
"My precious treasure chest is gone," I sobbed again, eyes red and snot threatening to drip.
"I know. I know," he whispered softly.
Rona walked up beside me and, without warning, plopped her head onto my lap. Her face turned upward, lips jutting in a pout.
"Rona more precious."
I blinked.
Then, slowly, I chuckled. "Yeah… yeah, you are."
The bittersweet moment was cut short by a growing pressure—one that crackled in the air like storm-charged tension.
Mimi.
She stood with her arms folded, lips twitching, eyes twitching harder.
The joy, the camaraderie, the center-stage moment that should've been hers... stolen by sobs over a chest and childish antics.
I glanced her way and smirked. "Oh no… we've angered the goddess of drama."
Her scowl deepened.
I leaned into it, voice dipped in sarcastic sweetness. "Apologies, Mimi. We weren't trying to steal your spotlight. We didn't know our tragic, grenade-powered survival was more entertaining than your usual monologues."
Snap.
A vein bulged in Mimi's forehead.
And then, like a woman possessed, she slammed her hand onto the control panel beside her and started mashing buttons like a gamer speed-running out of spite.
Beep. Beep. Beep—
"MIMI, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!"
Too late.
SHHHHRRRAAAAAAAAAAA!!
A horrendous screech echoed through the chamber.
The corpses of the three monsters we had painstakingly slain earlier—limp, broken, definitely dead—began to quiver. Their twitching turned to jerking. And then—
FLASH!
Their bodies lit up, regenerating at an insane pace. Torn limbs reknitted, torn muscles fused, eyes blinked open.
Monster Revival Sequence Initiated.
The interface above glitched violently.
[x3 Bosses: Revived]
"ACK! MY BIG MOUTH IS GOING TO KILL US AGAIN!!" I shouted, eyes wide. "I'm sorry, Rona! Ronald!!"
"Rona is okay~!" she giggled, still sprawled across my lap.
"I'm used to this…" Ronald muttered with the dead-eyed calm of a man who's already accepted his fate.
The monsters began to close in. Shadows fell across our huddled group. Their roars shook the very ground we stood on.
Muscles tensed. Weapons unsheathed.
The air vibrated with the taste of death.
And then—
CLAP.
The sound rang through the chamber like thunderous punctuation—final, undeniable.
Startled, we whipped our heads toward the source. The monsters—just moments from lunging, claws raised and jaws parted—froze mid-charge, as if shackled by unseen chains.
A figure stepped forward, cloaked in shadows and authority, boots striking the ground with slow, deliberate weight.
The pressure around him was suffocating. Not magical. Not monstrous. Just overwhelming presence.
As if the rules of this dungeon—the very laws that governed resurrection and death—were kneeling before him.
My shoulders loosened just slightly. Ronald slumped in visible relief, practically melting into the ground. Even Rona let out a small, "Whoa~" under her breath, impressed despite herself.
And then—
Ding!
A clear, crisp chime cut through the tension like a sword slicing fog.
Mimi, who'd been seething just moments earlier, blinked as her interface lit up. The bright screen reflected in her eyes, which went wide with realization.
Her expression twisted—equal parts shock, confusion, and something that looked a lot like... defeat.
Then she straightened, cleared her throat, and declared with a too-sweet smile:
"Everyone! I just received a notification."
We turned, brows raised.
"The Masters have chosen their disciple."
The words hung in the air like a guillotine waiting to fall.
My breath hitched. Chosen? Who? When?
Had we... not been picked?
I felt the surge of adrenaline start to drain. Uncertainty filled the vacuum. I glanced at Ronald, whose eyes darted in every direction like a cornered rabbit.
"What—what does that mean?!" Ronald stammered, voice cracking. "D-Do we get thrown away?! Will we become Munchy's food? What do we do? What do we do?!"
But Mimi ignored the panic around her like it was beneath her notice.
With the poise of someone ending a press conference, Mimi gave the most dismissive exit cue in the world:
"Thank you all for coming. I hope you have a great day ahead. Bye all~"
Her image glitched once, then vanished completely from the screen. Just like that.
We were left alone. In silence.
Thud.
One by one, we dropped like puppets whose strings had been cut.