We groaned in unison as we staggered to our feet, every joint protesting.
Isaac clutched his back like an old man. "Ugh… We can't go back like this. And all because of someone." He shot a withering glare at me.
I looked away, whistling innocently.
"It's been ages since we've all been together," Ronald sniffled. "You're not seriously thinking about going straight back to work, are you?"
Isaac blinked. "Wait—don't tell me you two caused all this chaos just to hang out?"
"That's exactly it!" Ronald said, nodding proudly.
Isaac pinched the bridge of his nose like he was physically holding back a stroke. "I cannot believe you two…"
"Aww… Rona's touched," Rona murmured, squirming with emotion.
"Well…" I stepped forward, brushing dirt off my shirt. "Since it's technically my fault we're in this mess, let's head to my Master's place and relax for a bit."
Isaac narrowed his eyes. "A bit?"
"Yeah." I nodded seriously. "We'll wash up, change clothes, grab a snack—then bolt."
"Why do we have to run away?" Ronald asked, confused.
"Why?" I groaned, clutching my neck dramatically. "Because if my Master finds out the kind of trouble I stirred up, she won't stop at choking me. That'll just be the warm-up act."
Ronald looked at me with genuine pity. Isaac sighed and shook his head. Rona, of course, just laughed like this was all one big comedy show.
And so, we set off toward the House of Aum.
We walked in relative silence—until, of course, Isaac had to open his mouth.
"Based on what you all described the Zombie Lady," he said abruptly, "I don't think that was a zombie."
I rolled my eyes. "What do you mean? Zombie Lady looked very zombie to me."
Isaac adopted a tone so smug it could curdle milk. "We all know zombies don't feel pain, right?"
"She didn't either," Ronald pointed out, raising a finger.
"Yes, but she took time to recover—and then chased you down afterward," Isaac continued.
"Exactly. She's slow. That's a good thing," I shrugged. "Why complain?"
"Stop interrupting, you fool." Isaac promptly squashed my head under his palm.
"ACK—my brain!" I flailed as Ronald rushed in to help pry his hand off. Rona, naturally, just stood to the side giggling like it was premium entertainment.
After releasing me, Isaac smoothed his hair with exaggerated patience. "Anyway. She also communicated, didn't she?"
"Aye," I said, brushing my hair back. "She flipped me off. Very rude."
"She was also fast," Ronald added. "Too fast for a normal zombie."
"She could be a mutated zombie!" I gasped, genuinely impressed with my own brilliance.
Isaac frowned. "Maybe… but if she's mutated, why only her? And didn't you say she fainted after the torture? Why would a zombie faint if it doesn't feel pain?"
He launched into a flurry of follow-up questions, most of which flew straight over our heads—or more accurately, we let them.
"I dunno," I said, picking at my ear. "Maybe she was tired and just wanted a quick nap."
Isaac stared at me like I was actively harming his brain cells.
"Okay, okay—you win," I grumbled. "So do you know what she is, shorty?"
I inched away, just in case he decided to go full gremlin and attack.
"Nope," he said flatly.
Ronald and I stared at him in silence.
Then I exploded. "WHAT? I thought you knew!"
"I never said I knew," Isaac replied coolly.
With righteous fury, I lunged, grabbed his head, and bit it. "A ha e ar ha ah!" I yelled, mid-chomp. ("I'mma bite your head off!")
Isaac screamed in outrage while Ronald struggled to peel me off, muttering something about dental hygiene.
Rona just stood there, clutching her stomach and laughing. "LOL!" she squealed.
As we continued our trek toward the House of Aum, I suddenly said, "I felt smarter while I was there."
"Colder, too," Ronald added thoughtfully.
"Ronald was the same, though," I replied, squinting at him.
Isaac snorted. "You? Smart? I can't fathom those two words in the same sentence."
"Ah! You're so obnoxious, Shorty!" I lunged for him, hands reaching for his neck.
Isaac side-stepped smoothly, unimpressed. "Do you even know what 'obnoxious' means?"
"Nope," I said, proudly.
"Not shocking." He smirked.
"You're so despicable," I huffed, folding my arms.
Isaac rolled his eyes and turned toward Ronald. "Are you sure you brought back the right one?"
"Yup." Ronald nodded, his eyes glazing slightly as he drifted into a memory.
Before we'd regrouped with Isaac and Rona, Ronald and I had spent hours trying to navigate back with the map—emphasis on trying.
"I think it's here," I'd said confidently, tapping a section on the map.
Ronald, ever patient, had sighed. "Llyne. We've been here eight times already."
"We have?" I tilted my head.
"And we're on the southwestern side." Ronald pointed carefully to our position.
"Ah. So we just have to go northeast." I pointed in a completely random direction.
"Yup," Ronald said without argument, gently moving my finger to the actual northeast. "This way."
"Follow me!" I had declared, sprinting ahead, Ronald trailing behind.
An hour later, we were thoroughly lost—again. Surrounded by crumbling buildings that looked one stiff breeze away from collapsing.
"Llyne…"
"This isn't the center, is it?" I'd asked sheepishly.
"Nope. This is the north side," he replied, then held out his hand. "How about I lead this time?"
"Sure." I pouted and surrendered the map like a dethroned queen.
Back in the present, Ronald shook his head and said with a sigh, "It was a long journey."
"No one could be more lost than her," Isaac muttered, shaking his head in solemn disbelief.
We followed a crooked lane and, quite suddenly, stepped into a bustling market district—colorful awnings, sizzling griddles, and the aroma of every spice on the continent swirling in the air.
Isaac frowned. "Is today Market Day?"
"Nope," I said between bites of something skewered and delicious. "But I heard it's Master Kil's birthday."
Isaac's jaw sagged. "When did you— Where did you even buy that?"
"Just now." I shoved the skewer at him. "Want a bite?"
He recoiled like I'd offered him plague-on-a-stick. "Hard pass."
Ronald stared at the crowded stalls, puzzled. "I didn't know they opened the market on Master Kil's birthday."
"Not on—for," I corrected, waving the skewer for emphasis. "And it isn't just any market. Only food stalls."
"Why?" Ronald asked.
"To feed that pigsty," Rona chimed in with a giggle.
"Rona!" Ronald hissed, mortified.
Isaac clamped a hand over her mouth. "Do you have a death wish?"
I shrugged. "Pigsty fits. Everyone knows he's an endless stomach."
Isaac leaned close, voice a whisper. "Keep it down. We're in his territory."
I licked the sauce from my fingers. "Truth hurts, but it's still the truth."
Ronald blinked. "So every vendor shows up just because it's his birthday?"
"Exactly," I said. "My master told me every food-stall owner must open on this day—even if they're dead."
Ronald gaped. "That's… extreme. Why?"
I lowered my voice, putting on my best campfire-story tone. "Ages ago, one vendor missed the party—his parents had died the day before. Master Kil called it an 'insult' and had the poor man executed on the spot."
Isaac's eyes went wide. "And you still called him a pigsty?"
I flicked an ear-picking away. "What's he going to do? Burp me to death?"
"Unbelievable," Isaac muttered.
"Less talking, more tasting!" I declared, already veering toward the nearest dumpling stand.
Isaac and Ronald lunged to catch me, but I slipped into the crowd like a greased ferret.
Rona? She'd vanished ten seconds earlier—probably halfway through someone's inventory of sweet buns by now.
Behind us, Isaac groaned. "We are absolutely going to die."
Ronald sighed, clutching his wallet. "At least we'll die fed."
Before we knew it, we'd completely forgotten our original destination. The food market had swallowed us whole—figuratively and quite literally.
By the end of it, Rona and I waddled out of the marketplace like overstuffed dumplings. Yes—waddled. Like ducks. We were so bloated and round that proper walking had become a logistical hazard. One wrong step and we'd be rolling down the street like meatballs.
Also, we were flat broke.
Ronald and Isaac, who'd wisely waited outside the market, stared at us in absolute disbelief.
"How… how is it physically possible for your stomachs to expand that much?" Isaac blinked rapidly, clearly running mental equations.
"We just… kept eating," I mumbled with a weak chuckle—then abruptly froze. My hands flew to my mouth to stop an uprising of undigested rebellion. "Hmp!"
"Llyne!" Ronald rushed to my side in a panic. "Are you okay?"
Isaac pointed at us like we were mutated lifeforms. "How much did you even eat to end up like this?!"
"I… I don't know… ask Rona…" I groaned, clutching Ronald for balance as the threat of rolling and vomiting grew very real.
Isaac turned toward Rona.
She was sitting peacefully on the ground, still munching on a fistful of candy with no signs of stopping.
'How is she still eating?!' Isaac's expression screamed.
He sighed and knelt down. "Rona. Where did you even get that much money?"
Rona looked up with her usual innocent grin. "From Master. She told me to take it."
Isaac frowned. "And she didn't say anything else?"
"She said it's Master Kil's birthday present from her," Rona chirped as she popped the last candy into her mouth and swallowed it with a satisfied sigh.
Silence.
The three of us stared at each other.
Then at Rona.
Then back at each other.
A single, collective thought passed between us like an ominous breeze.
"We're definitely going to die…"