The Past:
(Rytem's POV)
We shared a room, trained together, and ate meals side by side. Just Netalai and I. I didn't speak to Raijian again after that first encounter. Instead, I charmed a maid into sneaking me Bane and giving me her old deck of cards—tools for real fun.
When Netalai drank, he didn't mind how close I got at night. The alcohol softened him. I could hold him without fear of rejection. I craved that closeness—would rather die than feel him push me away. There's something about Netalai... he is my light. The only thing that makes the world feel real.
Nothing else had ever worked. Not the drugs, not the torture games, not the lies I spun for attention. Everyone else bored me—just noise, like the Fire Prince, always reaching for safety, comfort, harmless hobbies. No thrill, no risk, no chaos. No power.
But Netalai... I found him after one of those thrilling days. Curled on the ground, crying, knees hugged to his chest. And he was... radiant. The sunlight glowed on his skin like it was meant just for me. He was begging for help. For safety. And the moment I laid eyes on him, my blood surged without needing cruelty.
I took him in. My parents were happy to play along with the relative lie. He was so sweet. So grateful. He made my home feel warm. He'd greet me with gifts, convince my parents to wait for me to eat. Always smiling, always soft. Innocent.
But more than anything, I loved that he needed me.
Two years passed. All the Chosen had arrived. Insinz came last. He found his powers on his own and survived without clinging to anyone. Independent. Arrogant. And I hated him for it.
Because Netalai admired him.
During the Ritual of Right Rejection, Insinz and Netalai were the last two to choose. I'd already cast away remorse. Useless thing—I never felt it anyway.
Tana approached me where I was waiting.
"You should leave. I need to talk to the last two, help them focus. Some people don't know what matters to them unless they're alone. I think Netalai needs that."
Her voice grated. But I stood. Watched the door until it opened again.
"What did you give up?" I asked him.
He didn't meet my gaze. "You first."
My tongue stuck. I couldn't tell him the truth. He'd never love someone without a conscience.
"Sadness," I lied. "I gave up being sad about the past."
He stared deep into my eyes. "That doesn't sound like you."
Then he turned and walked away.
He was growing. Taller, thinner. Hair gold and shining. Elegant. Powerful. He didn't look like the abandoned child I rescued. He looked like someone people would kneel for.
Later, I caught him picking up our deck of cards.
"Where are you going?"
"To play cards with Hyzi."
Hyzi? Who the fuck—
"Who?"
"Insinz. His real name. He said I can call him that... because we're friends."
Friends? When did that happen? How did I miss this?
"When did you become close?"
"While you were out at the brothels. I woke up and you weren't here. He was. So we talked."
I'd only left when Netalai was asleep. I thought he never noticed.
"Is that why you're mad? I'll bring you with me next time."
"No thanks. I'm going to play cards with Hyzi."
He left. And kept leaving. Every night. Sometimes he didn't even take the cards. Just... talked.
What the hell was so exciting about just talking?
One night, I stayed. I drank Bane in the dark, waiting. But he didn't return until dawn. Didn't even speak to me.
At training, he went straight to Insinz.
"Did you understand today's lesson?"
Insinz smiled. "Of course."
"Then why play dumb when Tana asked you questions?"
"Because it's fun. Watching her get mad."
Netalai laughed. "You're such a bully! I actually have questions, though—"
"Wait!" I interrupted. I could barely stand. My mouth was dry, my hands shaking. "I can help you... if you need help."
Netalai frowned. Turned away.
"No. You need rest. Or... maybe have that woman you see help you."
They walked off together.
I collapsed against the wall.
Later, I returned to the brothel. Aria greeted me instantly, bottle in hand, lips painted soft.
"You look awful," she cooed. Her lavender hair fell across her chest as she leaned to pour me a glass of Bane.
I slapped the glass from her hand. It shattered.
She yelped. Then I grabbed her by the wrist.
"No talking tonight. Just get on your back."
She relaxed and smiled. "As you wish, my prince."
Bodies don't matter to me. Men, women—I attract them all. I'm desired everywhere I go.
But no one else haunts me like Netalai. I could be inside someone else, and still... he's the only one on my mind.
Why? Why is he pulling away? Why is he the one resisting?
After we finished, Aria lay trembling beside me. I lit a joint of Inspiration.
"...Time to talk," I muttered. Then pressed the joint against her shoulder.
She screamed. I muffled her with a kiss. Waited until the sizzling stopped before pulling away.
She stared up at me with tear-stained eyes.
"Don't be dramatic. It'll heal in hours." I commented as I got dressed. She pulled the blanket over herself, still pouting over her injury, I guess.
"What did you want to talk about?" she asked quietly.
"Oh... that wasn't about you. We're done here."
I paid the hostess extra, just to shut them up.
To my surprise, Netalai was back in our room. Sitting on the bed.
"You're home late." He remarked bitterly.
I smirked. "Jealous? I didn't know we were like that."
No reply. Sickening silence. So I panicked and explained, "It's just the brothel. They mean nothing to me."
He was still silent. Then, suddenly:
"What about the gambling? The drugs? Do those mean nothing too?"
My gut twisted. When did he learn about that?
"If it bothers you... I'll stop. I'd do anything for you."
He went quiet again.
I sat beside him. Ran my fingers through his hair.
"Did you feel bad... when you killed Gini?"
I hadn't thought of my mother in years.
"Of course," I said, too quickly. "She was my mother."A hollow line. Empty. I didn't even know what her favorite food was. Couldn't picture her voice anymore.But it was what I was supposed to say.
"You've never cried for her. I did. I loved her. She didn't deserve to die."
His voice cracked. But it didn't move me.
"Is that what you're mad about?"
He punched me.
Hard.
Blood filled my mouth. My nose cracked. I dropped to my knees.
"Of course I'm mad! You disgust me! You're always grabbing me at night—do you ever think how that makes me feel?! You killed her! Maybe that was an accident, and I didn't want to hurt you by saying it, but I'm done. From now on, keep your hands off me. I'm moving out."
I wiped my face. Looked up at him, desperate.
"Please," I begged, blood still running down my lip. "Tell me what to say. I'll say anything. Just don't walk away."
"Nothing. You confuse me. Everything you do contradicts everything you say. Did you really think I'd stay your little fool forever? Fuck you." His words were full of malice. More rage than I thought he was capable of.
He grabbed his clothes and slammed the door.
He was gone. And just like that... the only thing that ever made me feel human walked out the door.Now I was exactly what I'd always feared—empty. Again.
And for the first time, I felt like I screwed up.