Felix stretched his body and felt his bones snapping a bit in satisfaction as he let out a sigh of relief as he felt his body relax before he put on the Chaldean rayshift uniform as he looked down at himself due to how form fitting the uniform him. After he patted himself down and he was sure that he was wearing it correctly, he left his room and looked at Medusa who was standing right beside his room's door.
"You know you don't have to stand right by my door, right?" Felix asked his servant with a smile.
"It is my duty as your Servant to make sure that you are protected. So you don't have to worry about it, Master." Medusa said to him as he just shook his head.
"Alright, what about director Olga and Mash?" Felix asked her as he walked with her.
"They're at the coffins and ready for rayshifting, Mash had wanted to come here to call you but I told her to stay there and prepare herself for the singularity." Medusa said as they walked to the rayshift room.
"Probably a good thing for her. I think she would need some time to get herself ready for the rayshift, considering how the last one had went." Felix said as he sighed as he rolled his wrists.
"I would suggest Master to stay in the back while us Servants do the fighting." Medusa said to him as he smiled.
"Don't worry, I know. I will just be using the gun that Da Vinci made for me and will only use the sword when I'm in actually need of it. Besides, the fight in Fuyuki was a desperate one." Felix said to her as she nodded.
"I suppose." Medusa said as they walked.
They soon reached the room as they walked inside and spotted Mash and Olga with the Servants present while Roman is also there as well. Their arrival was noticed by them as they turned to look at the two of them as Mash and Mata Hari smiled brightly while Da Vinci grinned at him. Olga has a reluctant smile as she looked away. Medea, Artoria and Medusa Alter just watched while Iskander, Cu and Emiya looked at the two.
"I hope everything is ready doctor?" Felix asked the man as he smiled.
"Yes, we have done everything to the best of our ability. With Medea's help it was much easier on us to recover more of our facilities, which is frankly a very good thing." Roman said to him with a smile.
"You don't have to thank me for that. What I had done was just simple work for me." Medea said in a dismissive tone.
"In any case, we should be starting this grand order soon. We can't give the enemy even more time." Artoria said to them seriously.
"Well, while that might be true, it wouldn't hurt to have a conversation before starting Saber. After all, it will be a very dangerous mission." Da Vinci said to the knight as she stayed silent.
"So, are we sure of the Servants who will accompany our masters to the singularity?" Mata Hari asked the group.
"Well, we are planning on bringing Mash, Emiya, Medea and Medusa at the start." Olga said to the Assassin seriously.
"And why are you taking her when I am a better option. My weapon is very special." Medusa Alter said to them as she brandished her scythe.
"Well, what we need is a vanguard team and it's not like we aren't planning on sending you there when they need help. It's a balanced team." Roman said to the woman.
"Besides, between the two of you, Medusa is the one who looks much more friendly to normal people." Da Vinci said with a smile.
Medusa Alter clicked her tongue at her response while Cu smirked, before he ducked to not have his head cut off by her scythe. Iskander laughed out loud at the sight before he looked at his master.
"You know Master, I am a bit put off by the fact that you aren't taking me with you." Iskander said to Felix as the boy shrugged.
"You make a lot of noise wherever you go Iskander, and your presence is something that is not easy to hide, not that you would actually try to anyway. We need to hide ourselves when we get to the singularity so bringing you with us wouldn't be much help." Felix said to the king as he laughed.
"I suppose so. I understand the wisdom in your words, this is not a conquest so charging ahead won't be of much help." Iskander said with a grin.
While he isn't the type of man to use subtle means for combat, he understood that the mission of Chaldea is very important for the survival of humanity, and after learning of the fact that the world outside of Chaldea had been erased, he knew that their victory is imperative for the continued survival of humanity, and being a general, he knew why he would choose such a tactic and agreed with it as well.
"Well, I'm glad to see that you agree with the plan." Roman said with a smile.
"It is a good plan for sure. Mash and Medusa for the protection of the Masters, Medea for magical defence and attack and myself for long range as well. It's a pretty well rounded group of Servants." Emiya said as he crossed his arms.
"In any case, we don't have much of an idea on what to expect when we do get to the singularity, so we have to be very cautious from the moment we get Rayshifted there." Olga said to them seriously.
"You got it director." Felix said with a nod and smile.
"Understood." Mash said as Medusa nodded in turn.
"Don't worry, I will make sure that we are safe from any Magecraft, there are hardly many Caster Servants who can contend against me in terms of Magecraft." Medea said confidently, as she knew that she is one of the strongest when it comes to Magecraft.
"I'll keep on the lookout." Emiya said with a curt nod.
"Well, let's not waste more time. As Saber said, we do need to get there fast. After all, everyone already knows the importance of the singularities for human history." Olga said after a moment.
"You're right director. Well, we have managed to get all the calculations done for the rayshift to the best of our ability. We have double and triple checked the data and are prepared to send you to the singularity." Roman said to the group.
"By the way, what about the girl in the infirmary?" Felix asked curiously as Roman looked at him.
"Miss Ophelia is still unconscious, which isn't that surprising considering the circumstances. I think she will wake up soon though. Though perhaps after some time." Roman said to him with a smile.
"Well, I do hope she wakes up. If she does, then it would be a great help for us." Felix said to the man.
"Well, she was a part of the A team, so having her with us would be a good thing." Roman said with a nod.
"Whatever the case may be, we should focus on our current mission." Olga said to them seriously.
"You're right director, then I hope you're all ready for the rayshift?" Roman asked the group.
"Ready as I'll ever be." Felix said to the man with a smile and nod.
"I'm ready doctor." Mash said to the man seriously.
Medusa, Medea and Archer nodded to the man while Olga just raised an eyebrow at the doctor for asking such a question of her.
"Well, now that we are sure that everyone is ready for the rayshift, why don't you give a speech, Romani." Da Vinci said to the doctor as he looked at her.
"We have the director." Roman said as he gestured to the girl as her eyebrow twitched.
"You can do ahead Roman. Since you will be the one who will be in the command centre." Olga said to the man as he blinked.
"Um, if you say so director." Roman said to her as he was surprised.
He looked at the assembled people as they were all looking at him, and he can see that Artoria, Iskander and Medea were looking at him with judgement in their eyes and he can also feel the gaze of his subordinates as well. He fake coughed into his right fist and looked at them with as much confidence as he can muster.
"Well, as you all know, the mission of Chaldea is the protection and prosperity of humanity. We have determined that the singularities are the reason for the incineration of humanity, and now it's our duty as Chaldea to restore human history and bring the world back from its end. This Grand Order is the most important mission in the world of Magecraft, and we as the Chaldea Security Organization, will defeat the perpetrators for the incineration of mankind and restore human history to its correct course. So, Master candidates Felix, Director Olga, Demi Servant Mash, and the rest of the Servants, correct the singularity and the course of human history and restore humanity. We will give you all of our support for the success of this mission. So, as the temporary commander for Chaldea, I ask of you to do everything in your power to complete the singularity and save humanity." Roman said to them seriously and with confidence.
"Got that, commander." Felix said with a smirk.
"Will do doctor." Mash said to the man
"That's a good speech." Iskander said with a smile.
"Yeah." Mata Hari said with a smile.
"Adequate." Olga said with a nod.
"It was okay." Artoria said with a shrug.
"A bit on the dry side." Medea said in turn.
"Could use some work." Cu said with a shrug.
"You might want to add some more flair to it." Da Vinci said with a smile.
Medusa, Medusa Alter and Emiya just stayed silent while the staff were feeling motivated by the speech. Not to say that the others weren't, but due to their experiences, it was a bit of a lower effect on them, but nonetheless it was a good speech as far as they were concerned for a man who is a doctor.
"Thank you." Roman said with a smile before he looked at Olga seriously.
She understood what he is gesturing for as she looked at all the people one more time before she fake coughed and looked at her subordinates with utmost seriousness.
"As the director of the Chaldea Security Organization, I announce that the Grand Order has been initiated!" Olga announced in her director voice as most of them all smiled with determination.
'Here we go.' Felix thought to himself as he clenched his right fist.
A/N: It's been a long time since I have updated and I have been stagnant in the platform for a few months now. Well, to tell you all, I have been dealing with a few problems IRL, which includes my mental health, depression, studies, adulthood, parental problems, and a general lack of, well motivation in life honestly.
I have beendealing with what I think to be a mental illness for almost a year now, basically OCD esque illness called Primarily Obsessional Obsessive Compulsive Disorder, Pure O, a lesser form you can say, which is triggered by NTR and sometimes heavy things. It has caused me no small amount of anxiety for these past few months as I was not able to get any peace of mind and I at times have felt that I have no control over my own mind due to my uncontrollable thoughts and mental rituals.
I have come out with my problem, in February, and my parents brought me to a doctor who was not even a psychologist or psychiatrist, an acupuncture person who is a friend of our family and has dabbled in some fields to help me, using hypnosis and it didn't work out. They didn't show me to a physiologist or psychiatrist because they said that they would diagnose me as crazy and take me away for having no control of my thoughts. I live in India by the way, south india to be precise.
Do you guys know how frustrating it is, to not be able to see a doctor for mental health without being seen as having a problem, to fear going to a doctor due to thinking how my family will see me, to have to lie about my own mind and it's problems. And I don't even know if it truly is the illness, but all the symptoms I have been experiencing for months point to it, but I am unable to even check and verify my thoughts, especially for an illness like this who is very hard to identify due to its nature.
They also deleted all the games and apps I use from my phone after the acupuncture doctor told them to, without my knowledge, I wasn't able to gift the valentine's chocolate in FGO because of that and I obviously got angry about it and got my phone back. My parents and perhaps family started to treat me like I was mad and had gone crazy, despite the fact that I can think without much of a problem except for the repeated images and thoughts in my mind.
It was pure torture for me, but I acted like the hypnosis treatment worked and that I was normal despite the fact that I had to deal with it every single day, and I want to believe that I have now healed from it, but I still suffer from it, and I can only endure and act like nothing happened. This also affected my mood and writing and my home situation also isn't good so I was feeling down due to having uncontrollable thoughts.
It also didn't help that OCD is an illogical illness and doctors don't have much of an idea as to why it happens or how to cure it due to its illogical nature. And Pure O is even harder to prove due to its mental nature, but I can only endure it, otherwise I fear that I will be seen as a crazy person for not being able to control my thoughts, which is my problem which gives me anxiety and other negative emotions and it's not a good feeling, to know that you can't even fully control your own thoughts.
Now, currently I think I have healed from it, and my mind isn't plagued by those thoughts, panels and my own imagination most of the time, but I tend to remember the pages from time to time which isn't helping much. I have buried myself in Fanfiction, games, anime and so on in the past few months and my parents aren't exactly thrilled of my marks and my behaviour and I think they feel disappointed in me for a while now.
I initially wanted to keep it short but it became this long. Pure O has no cure in the world, as far as I know and the same goes for OCD and apparently only approximately 3% of the world population suffers from these illnesses so I guess I am unlucky, not like I wasn't already. I don't know if I will ever be free from this, but it has hindered me for months now and slowly fading.
I have read that time heals all wounds, and I really hope that it's true here, cause I don't want to deal with these symptoms and live with this mental illness for the rest of my life. I'm only 20 years old for Gods sake, I don't want to feel this for the rest of my life, dealing with this for nearly a year, or perhaps it has already been a year since I started to get this, is already torture and even if it has lessened to a negligible kind, I don't want to deal with this anymore in my life.
I'm tired of this, of feeling like a mental person, acting like everything is okay, going to study, living like a healthy person when I'm not, every single time of my life, putting a mask just to be ordinary despite the mental problems I am dealing with and that's not counting the other issues in my life. It's hard to feel motivated about life with all of this and the expectations and disappointments from my parents are not things I want, alongside the need to have academic excellence while I am trying to not lose the want to continue living by using games, manga and everything else.
I don't know why I am writing this here, I just felt like it and it's all so frustrating, I don't know what to do with my life anymore, I have become a shut in, well not entirely since I do leave my house but rarely and do go to school and events from time to time but still, the point stands. I have no idea what to do for the future, the pressure and everything is not something I want to feel but hey, the world doesn't care about it, it only cares about how you deal with problems and live.
To be honest with you all, I didn't have a very happy life, ever since 12 years old due to some complications with my health and the other problems that I have been dealing with, and now I can put mental illness into my repertoire of problems in life.
I have felt demotivated, empty, sad, frustrated, detachment, despair and other things in life, and a few times, I did think about suicide due to all of these problems since I wanted to escape it all and he done with it. But these suicidal thoughts were few and far between so it's no problem, I think, no one actually know about it.
I have been able to hold on using anime, movies, games, books, manga, fanfics and entertainment. Literally, whenever I have suicidal thoughts, I always think about my games and how I want to play them and learn more about the story, manga, fanfics which I wait for updates, and so on. Pokemon is a major part of my life and it has also helped me have some hope for life, and over the few years I have come to value life and appreciate it more, despite how shitty I feel.
Of course, my parents think that I am a child for still playing "kids" games, kids cartoons, and not being serious about my life.
My own books are also a form of anchor for me since I do want to update them when I can and you guys and your support for my work is something that warms my heart and makes me feel happy about my life and not feel like I am some kind of disappointment and failure in my life.
I really shouldn't be doing this to you all, but I just lost control and wanted to share this with someone, anyone at this point. I have done this a time before but I feel the need to share this again to calm my mind or something.
In any case, I hope that all of you who are reading this book of mine, enjoyed my work and that all of you are able to live healthy lives in both physical and mental manners and that you aren't suffering in any form similar to me, as I don't want others to feel the way I do.
If nothing else, me being able to endure this mental illness for a year I guess, goes to show that I have some fortitude, and anime and the like also helped me in that regard so I'm really grateful for all the creators of anime and entertainment for that.
So, sorry for saying all of this here, but I hope that you will be able to live happily and continue to do so and thank you for your support and reading my books.