I could have done better.
Though even as I think that, I'm careful to definitely not say it out loud.
On second thought, really, doing this off the cuff because I was feeling more than a little petty probably wasn't the greatest idea considering how important this whole thing is.
Not just for me, but for the potential future of the pantheon as a whole.
Ah, well. It worked out in the end!
[Mmmm!] Wa-tan whined indignately in the back of my head, [You didn't even get to show off everything I could do! That! And you could have been way more creative with your design styles, colors, choices, and-]
Do I look like a fashion designer to you? I cut her off with a pointed thought.
[No. You brute.] She huffed, like a brat, [Not a brat! But still! You don't need to be! Even just using more colors! It would have been easy!]
I turned, answering another kami as he asked something of me, but their voices were mostly drowned out by the conversation going on in my head.
…Man, I'd be in a mental hospital if anyone heard that without context.
I rolled my eyes on the inside, prompting a scoff from my suddenly bratty little sister.
[Not! Little!]
But definitely a brat.
[Only when you use weaving like a brute instrument!]
To be fair, I probably could have come up with something by myself if a certain someone wasn't trying to loudly scream in the back of my head every move I should make.
I received some meager grumbling at that, [...okay, yeah, that's fair.] she says lowly, [I got a bit too excited, okay? I'm sorry…]
Apology mostly accepted.
[...Mostly?]
You have one hell of a pair of spiritual lungs on you, that's for sure.
As in, so loud, even my clones heard you, somehow.
[S-Sorry…]
Eh, no harm, no foul, in the end. Although I am considering spanking you again.
[W-Weh!? N-No! Please don't!]
I'm just considering for now, that's all! No need to worry so much about it.
Yet.
I receive an embarrassed whimper in return at that, my face nearly straining to resist the urge to smile at it.
Only to perk up abruptly instead.
Ah, this feeling to my senses…
Perfection. Wa-tan? You feel that?
[H-Hmm?] I can practically feel as she perks up much the same, [Oh, this could be…]
Not could, I cut her off, this is gonna be great.
[Please don't be too mean.]
No promises~!
I straightened up, not out of fear, but in an effort to look just a touch more imposing, as the doors behind me all of a sudden are thrown open with enough force to slam them against the walls with a loud, resounding, sharp knock.
The echo of which caused the entire court to go silent.
I watched as Ama's face fell, and Uzume grimaced. Glasses guy went paler than he already was, and the other gods just looked plain awkward, like they'd rather be anywhere else rather than here.
Which, fair enough, this wasn't going to be pretty after all.
"Mother!" His voice called out, overpowering the now dull echo of the doors in the background with ease, "I have returned!"
…I bring family drama to Takamagahara!
[Mmmm. Stop it.]
Sorry, sorry, couldn't help myself. I just really can't take this guy all that seriously.
"Hmm? Are we interrupting something?" A new voice, still masculine, but far smoother and softer, adds, "Also, good evening, mother!"
Ama's smile returns slightly, and she nods, "Hikone."
"Whatever." Another new male voice injects, far rougher than before, with far less patience, "When is something not going on here? You there, leave. We have business to discuss with our ma."
Ah, that's my cue!
See, I'm a petty dick-
[Petty, yes, but don't be mean to yourself either!]
So! After revealing myself to Ama and doing my little demonstration, I reeled everything back in.
Just for this very moment.
I turned, and I couldn't help the stupid little smirk on my face as I beheld my three interrupters.
Or, rather, three of my brothers.
In the center, between the other two, stood Oshi. I could tell because he recognized my face immediately, his golden eyes lighting up in both recognition and a small hint of outrage.
He has scraggly black hair that reminded me a bit of Susan's in complexion, long and bushy, a wild mop hanging down the back of his neck and bunched up in a ball, a mustache covering his entire upper lip, and a goatee extending down almost completely covering his throat.
Directly next to him, on his right, was a taller yet leaner man. His golden eyes saw me, and although it took him a moment, recognition dawned quickly.
I have a feeling it was my hair and eyes. Seriously, we all have the same hair and eye color!
But, it seems, we all have different styles of hair at least, and this guy here was way different.
In that his hair was absolutely immaculate. Like, holy shit. While the same color as all of ours, his was far shinier. His beard covered his chin and wrapped around his cheeks and curved along his upper lip in an almost perfect black sheet. Strands ran down his chin, looking like a bunch of silk threads. Amongst all of us, his hair was far longer as well, perfectly smooth, and one up in a long ponytail that fell upon his shoulders like a silk curtain.
[Mmmm!] Wa-tan whined in the back of my head, [Big Brother Hikone was born with perfect hair, mother and I have always been jealous…it's just not fair!]
Felt girl, felt.
Last guy, and thankfully, there isn't much to describe.
Directly to the left was the last guy. He was shorter than the others by a good bit, but his shoulders and build were broader. When he looked at me, his dull golden eyes scanned me over…and then didn't change one bit as he huffed and rolled them.
"Stop giving us that creepy look, and scram, boy." He said, pointing his thumb behind him.
Oi. Not creepy.
But yeah, I don't think he recognizes me at all.
Amongst the three, he's the only one not wearing some sort of expensive robe or kimono, and in fact, he looks like he's wearing old-timey peasant clothing, along with a cap.
I can't see the top of his head, and only know he shares the same black hair as the rest of us due to the strips of wild, jutting strands of black going down either side of his mouth.
"Kumano." Ama sighs out from her throne, "That's your youngest brother."
"Oh." He didn't even bat an eye, "Okay. And?"
Oshi elbowed Kumano in the side, hissing, "He's the one I was telling you about!"
Kumano looked at Oshi and glared, hissing back, "Watch it, or I'll stuff your bow up your ass!"
Oshi snarled back, but my attention was drawn away from them as Hikone stepped forward, toward me, a serene smile across his face, "My apologies. It would appear we are interrupting something rather important, yes?"
"You could say that." Ama grounds out, and although she's doing a good job of hiding it, I can tell her patience is running thin.
And Oshi hasn't even started talking shit yet.
"I saw this coming, just a bit," I began, stepping before Hikone as well, "there's no need to apologize, especially because you were the one dragged here, were you not?"
[...why are you talking like that?] Wa-tan voiced in the back of my head, slightly disturbed.
Trying to sound formal. Is it working?
[Kind of?]
Well, better than nothing at all!
Hikone's eyes widened just a bit from my words, "Well, I wouldn't quite put it like that," he somewhat refutes, "I agreed to come, but I must admit…" he trails off as he slowly looks around, a frown forming across his face.
Before he can say another word, however, Oshi practically stomps up.
"Enough of that now. You! Noriaki." He looks down upon me, "What are you doing with the court?"
Why does that sound oddly accusatory?
"Why, simply showcasing a project of mine." I reply, holding up the Wa-tan Sword, "I'm sorry, we're you hoping to come here and complain about me again?"
The guy looks at me like I slapped him across the face, "Excuse me?"
"No." I state, "You are not excused. Now, if you have grievances to air, a word you must say, you may sit, and wait until I'm done…or." I force my eyes to glow dangerously, "You can help with a further demonstration. Your choice. Elder Brother." I damn near spat the words out by the end.
[N-Nori…] Wa-tan drawled, trying to be soothing.
I know. I've got a plan. I won't be the one to throw the first punch, if it comes down to that at all.
"Y-You, you dare!?" His eyes glow right back, his teeth grinding, I can almost feel the itch he has to try and get in my face at this moment, "As I am your eldest brother, you will show your respect!"
"Respect is earned, not delivered freely." I reply with ease and a prompt scoff, "And you clearly showed yourself unworthy of it, even despite your station. Barging on in and all, you probably skipped the line, didn't you?"
His face burned red like fire. "It was important!" He growled back.
"So was my project." I point out, holding up the sword, "Yet I waited, just like everybody else."
"You lie!" Golden aura wisped across his body as he stepped forward, right into my personal space.
I looked at him, completely unimpressed.
That only seemed to make him grow rage.
This close? I could feel his power just as much as his anger.
For a son of Amaterasu, a full-on kami, the guy…is actually pretty pathetically weak.
Oh, don't get me wrong, he'd blow most kami out of the water. Like Uzume, for example.
But considering who his parents are, he doesn't even break anywhere near Ama's, Susan's, and Inari's level…
It's kind of hard to believe this guy is technically an ancestor of mine from my human side.
Behind me, I could feel something else growing as well.
Ama's power was beginning to swell in turn, for pretty obvious reasons.
But she wouldn't get the chance to act.
A hand comes down on Oshi's shoulder, causing him to stiffen.
"Brother." Hikone began, soft yet stern, "Ease yourself. I do not believe our little brother here to be a liar."
Oshi's head swiveled his way, his rage crossed immediately by a look of betrayal, "Hikone! Do you not remember what I told you?!"
"You told me many things, yes." Hikone's eyes narrowed upon Oshi, but I could feel his side-eyed glance here and there upon myself and the rest of the room, "That Noriaki here flouts tradition to an obscene and grotesque amount. That he disrespects all by his mere presence, brow-beating with his power to obtain whatever he desires."
I blinked.
I felt Ama's power falter out of sheer shock.
I could almost feel the court as a whole do a double-take.
[Oh, brother…] Wa-tan sighed, genuinely disheartened.
I, for my part, couldn't really help myself anymore, "Dude. Uncool."
Hikone paused, looked directly at me, and snorted.
"It was all true-" Oshi tried to rant again, but Hikone shushed him with a single finger to his mouth, stunning his elder brother.
"Oshi. Brother. Still our father's rage, and look around, for just one moment." Hikone pointed out.
Begrudgingly, if only to get his brother to move his finger, he does so.
His gaze sweeps past me, across Ama, the court…
His face twitched, like a nail being hammered into a board; something finally struck in his head.
"...Hikone, I-"
"No." Hikone hushed him with a single word, "Save yourself the embarrassment. Save my time, and the time of Kumano, Mother, and everyone else. It is clear for all to see, your imagination and emotions are going far out of hand."
Oshi's face contorted with sheer indignation, and he stepped away, forcefully pulling away from Hikone.
"It is not imagination!" Oshi roared, "It is a trick of his! Clearly, he even said he expected this, he planned-"
Hikone turns and addresses the Iroh lookalike kami, completely cutting off his brother, "Lord Futsunushi?"
The elderly kami strokes his beard, "Yes, Prince Amatsuhikone?"
"My youngest sibling here." He waves his hand in my general direction, "Tell me, do Lord Oshihomimi's words make even a grain of sense?"
The kami snorted in response, "No. Not at all. Prince Akaruihiruotoko is generally more lax with his goings on, but he isn't malicious. And I have seen no reason to believe otherwise."
Hikone turns back towards Oshi- wait, hold up, his full name has 'Mimi' in it?
[...Nori.] Wa-tan trails off her warning, but being literally in my mind doesn't help her at all from trying to hide the fact that she's holding back giggles.
Very poorly so.
Right, so, Hikone turns back toward Mimi and waves his hand toward him, "You were saying, brother?"
Mimi takes another step back, his gaze snapping between Hikone, me, and the rest of the court, rapidly. His face warps with increasing more and more panic as the weight of the shit hole of a situation he dug himself into begins to dawn upon him.
Abruptly, he turns back, looking toward Kumano, "K-Kumano, brother, surely you understand my point of view, right!?"
This entire time, the peasant-looking kami stood back, his arms crossed in an annoyed stance.
As soon as Mimi talked to him, he grunted, "You know why I'm here." He steps up, past the three of us, "Ma." He huffs out, approaching Ama's throne.
Ama blinks, looking at him, "Yes, Kumano?"
"He hurt you? Disrespect you in any way?" He asks plainly.
Ama simply looks at him, completely bewildered, "I, no? He can be a bit, you know, like the rest of you; he worries me sometimes, but he's never hurt me."
Kumano nods, "That figures," then he turns, looking right at Mimi, "you're a lying, jealous sack of shit, you know that?"
Mimi's mouth opened, then shut, then opened again, then shut, faster. It was like watching a fish trying to breathe water, but forgetting how.
Well, now I don't know which brother I like more!
"Kumano." Hikone was the only one to fill the resulting pin-drop silence by scolding his brother.
"What?" He waves off Hikone, "You're thinking it. Kids thinking it. They're thinking it. Everybody here is, let's be real. Besides," he cracks his knuckles, "I have a right to say that, I'm kind of busy you know!? He," he sticks a finger out toward Mimi "had me believing the kid there wasn't treating Ma right! That's the only reason I came! Like I give a fuck what else goes on here."
He then looks toward me, "Right. Sorry, kid, er, Noriaki, right?" I nod, I can't even open my mouth before he continues, "Yeah, Noriaki. Sorry. Also, sorry about this dipshit." He points his thumb back toward Mimi, "He's got issues because he can't get over himself. He's always gotta start a problem to fill the void inside left by his kid. You know." He shrugs, "Stupid bullshit, all that. Anyway!"
He stretches, groaning, before promptly walking past the three of us once again, heading straight for the door, "I got work to do. Hit up my soon-to-be shrine when you get the chance, kid!"
And just like that, he's gone.
Hikone let out a slow, long, painful sigh.
Note to self? Buy Kumano a fucking drink sometime. Holy fuck. And call the based department, goddamn.
I turn to Mimi because, seriously, I have to ask, and at this point, I feel as though all formalities have really gone out the door with Kumano.
"So, what was the plan bringing him along?" I point my thumb toward where Kumano left.
Because, not to be rude, but that guy gives me way more of the vibes Mimi here was trying to insist upon me.
"I…" Mimi quickly chokes on his own words, "I, just, be quiet, brat. I, I don't…"
I raise an eyebrow his way, "I'm sure you'd like that. But no. Don't worry, though…I'm not going to rub it in."
He grits his teeth, "You have nothing-"
His voice was so quiet by now that it was easy to overpower, "Apologize."
He clicks his jaw shut.
"Not to me. Not yet, anyway." I stared at him, plainly, "You talked a whole lot of junk, but basically none of it to my face. I don't feel offended; you are simply that far beneath my notice." If his teeth were chalk, the throne room glass would be breaking by this point. "But what you did do was drag everyone else into this, and stress our mother out to an absurd degree. You will apologize to every single one of them."
"You…kid." He ground out, his gaze pointed straight at the floor.
"No, I don't." I jab a finger Hikone's way, "Now. Apologize."
He still doesn't fully look toward Hikone, before he opens his mouth again, "...I-"
"You know what?" I interject, an idea coming to me, "Since you seem to love looking at the ground so much, why don't you get closer to it?"
Mimi's body stiffens.
"Yeah, that sounds like a wonderful idea," I add, nodding to myself. "Kneel, and bow."
He doesn't move, even an inch. I can't even hear him breathe.
"Go on. We don't have all day." My stare turns into a glare, "Before the court, before everyone, kneel and bow, and apologize like you mean it."
Finally, after what felt like several agonizing moments of silence, Mimi dropped onto his knees with a shuddering breath and bowed, his hands pressed against the floor in a trembling dogeza.
"I, h-humbly, apologize for allowing my temper to drag you into this, b-brother."
Hikone hummed at that but offered no words in reply.
I, meanwhile, clapped twice.
"Chop chop. Another for the court. Getting going."
On the outside, I projected a stern and disciplined mask.
On the inside, however?
I couldn't stop myself from giggling madly throughout my mind.
[O-Oh, m-my…!] Wa-tan trembled out, clearly terrified out of her mind, [I-It's echoing! H-How is it echoing!?]
Don't worry about it.
[E-EEEK!]
Ah, today is a good day…