As Julia realizes what she feels the most is disappointment from Adam not fucking her, she feels ashamed and angry at herself.
After all, she is trying her best to resist Adam, but her own mistakes led her down a path of no return.
Adam spared her, but she didn't want to be spared. She wanted Adam to go all in and release her from her burdens. This is when she realized how tired she is of all this, from constantly resisting her desire for a secure future.
But now, as Adam showed her what possibly could be her future if she decides to submit, she doesn't think it's a bad outcome.
Sure, all she will be is an object of sex for Adam to use and abuse whenever he wants, but isn't that what she desires? And if that's what she desires, won't that make her happy? After all, she is getting what she wants deep down.
Is all this fortune worth it for the happiness and pleasure she is trying to sacrifice?
