…
I got out of bed quietly.
I looked up at the top bunk, almost expecting someone to climb down from there.
No one came down.
Because no one slept there anymore.
I glanced distractedly around the rest of the room.
There wasn't much there: the bunk bed where I was sitting, a desk with the computer my aunt gave Osamu, a window on one side, the closet, and the door leading to the rest of the house.
I stood silently for a moment, waiting for some noise from outside.
But, as always after the incident, the house was silent.
I reached into my pocket and pulled out a small blue device that looked like a Tamagotchi, but it was something more special than that.
A Digivice.
Osamu's Digivice.
Now a Digivice without an owner.
My gaze fixed on Osamu's Digivice without really seeing it.
My reflection was visible on the tiny, darkened screen.
The dark circles under my eyes were visible, my hair was unkempt, my pale, bony skin made me look sickly.
Seeing myself reminded me.
The memory still fresh in my mind.
Repeating itself over and over and over again.
A truck.
A temptation.
A push.
A surprised scream.
The realization.
The guilt.
The screams.
The blood.
The smell.
And it all came back to me, it always did.
And yet, I still didn't understand.
Shouldn't everything be better for me now that Osamu is gone?
Why does nothing feel the same as before when Osamu is gone?
Why do Mom and Dad look so sad now that Osamu is gone?
I'm still here...
...
..
.
...maybe...
...was what I did wrong?...
That can't be.
... right?
"I... don't understand," I whispered softly before feeling a cold breeze hit my side.
I shivered slightly before getting out of bed and walking over to the window to close it. Lost in my thoughts, I absentmindedly reached out my hands toward the window only to bump into the glass.
I blinked twice in confusion as I stared at the window.
Then I realized that the window had never been open.
"How intriguing..."
The sound of thoughtful humming made me turn around quickly, only to find an extremely tall shadow rising up to the ceiling of the room; blue eyes looked at me with painful compassion.
I took a step back only to bump my back against the wall. "Wh-who... who are you?"
"A mere observer."
At some point, the room had grown dark.
The lights were off, the computer was playing a looped video of a castle on top of a mountain with lightning constantly striking it; the air had grown cold and oppressive at some point.
The room fell silent as the shadow and I stared at each other.
"You shouldn't punish yourself like this, Ken."
I knew this wasn't real; it was probably just my imagination or something. But even knowing that, I could only stare into those blue eyes and listen intently as a longing feeling washed over my body.
"What you did... you shouldn't feel guilty about it." The voice continued speaking in a firm tone, like a teacher pointing out something obvious. "You shouldn't consider it a sin to want a fair world, a world where you are loved, a world where all evil and all good are balanced."
It took a second for my head to process the words, before I looked down at the floor with a blank stare.
I didn't understand.
I still didn't understand.
And yet...
"...What do you mean?" I muttered weakly, feeling the desire for validation run down my spine.
"Do you think your brother didn't know what was going on with you? Do you think your brother didn't notice all the times he belittled you? Do you think he hit you and hurt you without meaning to? "Do you think your parents didn't notice the bruises?" The shadow with eyes moved back and forth across the room until it finally stopped beside me. "You lived in your brother's shadow, Ken. He could get away with anything because... Because what? Was he smarter? Stronger? Maybe because he was more charismatic?"
My throat felt dry; forming words was difficult.
"They wouldn't... Osamu always... always..."
I knew it was true.
I knew it.
So why was I denying it?
"Ken."
The voice became soft.
It reminded me of Osamu's voice when I got math wrong.
"You are a kind soul in a world built around injustice and inequality. You don't have to feel guilty about doing something good for the world; you should feel proud of that fact, even if everyone tells you that you're wrong."
'My actions... were they good?'
My stomach felt heavy.
'Osamu... Dad... Mom... I couldn't have been, right?'
I knew the answer.
The kicks.
The insults.
The scoldings.
The malicious smiles.
The beatings.
My head was spinning.
A cry of denial came out of my throat.
"No! No! No! You're lying! Liar! They would never do such a thing! Osamu would never do such a thing!" I desperately put my hands to my head, feeling as if the ground beneath my feet was momentarily ceasing to exist. The Digivice fell to the floor, emitting a strange distorted static sound that echoed in the back of my head.
Suddenly, a cold and sinister feeling enveloped me as the shadow wrapped its arms around me in a soft and delicate embrace.
"I know it hurts, I know that seeing the truth can be heartbreaking for anyone." The voice became sincere and dreamy. "But don't let that pain blind you, Ken. You did well to seek justice, to seek balance, to seek to feel loved."
My breathing quickened.
My heart was pounding in my ears.
"Nothing you did is a sin, Ken."
My blood was burning.
My mind wandered back and forth.
"You're special, Ken. You have the ability to see evil and take action to stop it."
A feeling of happiness and longing blossomed in my chest with every word.
"You just have to ask yourself one question, Ken. Will you continue on this path to purge injustice from the world, or will you decide to bow your head like everyone else?"
Hot tears streamed down my face as I felt every doubt and fear dissipate; a feeling of validation enveloped me like a second skin.
"I want... I want everything to be... to be fair..." I whispered between sobs with all the willpower I could muster. "For everything... to be better... I want them... I want them..."
The shadow nodded and smiled kindly as it gently stroked my head.
"If you want to change the world for the better, you'll need help."
A diamond-shaped gold necklace emerged from the shadow's hand.
In the center, a strange fuchsia-colored plaque with a flower design glowed with kindness, like the look Grandma gave Osamu when we visited her.
I tremblingly reached out my hand toward the strange necklace.
And then.
A black and purple flash exploded around the room.
Before my consciousness fell into darkness, I could hear a sinister laugh.
Much later, I would realize that laugh.
It was mine.
...
__________________________________________
Thank you very much for reading! If you liked the chapter you can leave a Power Stone or a Review! You can also join my Patreon to support me!
https://www.patreon.com/rTem