...
{3rd Pov}
Natsuki Subaru was, once again, having what could only be described as another absolutely terrible day — not that it was anything new for him at this point.
Ever since he got kidnapped (or summoned, depending on how you look at it) to another world by some mysterious gal, his life had been nothing short of a rollercoaster straight into misery.
First thing that happened?
He ran into a certain Half-Elf girl — dumb, silly, clumsy, and way too cute for his sanity.
She had that soft, almost ethereal kind of beauty that screamed "protagonist love interest," which was probably why Subaru's brain short-circuited the moment she appeared.
After she saved his sorry butt from getting beaten into the pavement by three lowlife thugs — you know, the kind of generic alley NPCs that pop up in every suspicious medieval city corner — Subaru decided right then and there that his new purpose in life was to simp for Emilia-tan.
And oh boy, simp he did.
So when things went sideways, people started dying, and he discovered that he had somehow been gifted a shiny new Isekai power — "Return by Death" — he thought, hey, that's neat!
Except, of course, it came with absolutely zero mental insurance and a psychological price tag big enough to make a grown man break down into tears.
Each reset felt like taking a hammer to his sanity, but did that stop him?
Nope.
Our boy Subaru kept crawling back through pain, despair, and a whole lot of screaming just to save Emilia-tan from a certain stabby-stabby, sexy, gut-spilling assassin lady.
And let's be honest — that woman?
She was hot.
Like, dangerously hot.
The kind of hot that could kill you and you'd probably thank her while bleeding out.
So, after being gutted, sliced, and diced for what felt like the umpteenth time — all while barely managing to do anything truly heroic in Emilia's rescue — Subaru finally woke up in a place that was both luxurious and suspiciously unsettling: a mansion owned by the nation's most flamboyant clown-man, Roswaal L. Mathers.
Or as Subaru mentally dubbed him, the pedophile Pennywise of Lugunica.
There he meets the classic, centuries-old, 400-year-old granny spirit — the kind of legendary being whose beauty is said to topple nations and make kings lose wars just for a glance.
Of course, calling her a "granny" doesn't quite fit, considering she looks like a ten-year-old loli straight out of an anime.
But hey, who's judging?
This is another world — age is just a number, apparently.
Subaru's confusion is valid though; nobody's ready to process a magical child-looking spirit who's technically older than entire bloodlines.
Along with the ancient not-so-granny, Subaru also encounters two Oni maid sisters — the ultimate dream for every overworked, underloved Otaku on Earth.
They're cute, devoted, and wear maid uniforms that probably cost more than Subaru's entire wardrobe.
But these two aren't your average anime maid tropes; they come pre-installed with an "Anti-Gooning" security system.
One of them can verbally slice your ego into pieces sharper than a katana, and the other?
She'll straight-up kill you with a smile if she feels like it.
Talk about quality service with a death warranty.
After several rounds of dying — again — usually in the most painful and humiliating ways possible, Subaru somehow manages to do something heroic for once.
He ends up saving a group of children from terrifying fantasy monsters that looked like someone threw a blender at a zoo.
It's messy, it's chaotic, but he pulls through.
And after all that, he even pulls off the classic "hero saves the beauty" scenario and earns himself the love of one of the Oni maids — Rem, the blue-haired killing machine turned sweetheart.
Though between you and me, he's still kinda terrified of her deep down.
You don't just forget the woman who once bashed your skull in with a morning-star.
Ahem.
Anyway, a month rolls by.
Life at the mansion settles into something that looks like peace — which, for Subaru, basically means the calm before the next catastrophe.
Then comes the snow festival, a cute little time-skip moment that lulls everyone into thinking things are fine.
Spoiler alert: they're not.
Because right after that, some strange, shady, and overly fancy people show up at the mansion wanting to meet Emilia.
Long story short, the country of Lugunica is about to pick its next ruler, and the whole circus is called the Royal Selection.
Guess who's dragged into the mess?
Yup, our boy Subaru, who tags along to the capital under the pretense of healing his messed-up magical gate — because apparently even your mana needs therapy in this world.
And just when he thinks he's about to have a chill trip, Emilia — his beloved waifu, the girl he literally died multiple times for — basically ditches him.
Or, in fancier terms, she "travels ahead" with a knight in shining armor, a dude who not only looks like he walked out of a fairy tale but also acts like the living embodiment of gentlemanly perfection.
So there Subaru is — stranded, confused, heartbroken, and third-wheeling from miles away — once again wondering what cosmic sin he committed to deserve this treatment.
There he finds another Royal Candidate — and let's be honest, this one's IQ has got to be in the negatives.
Actually, scratch that, it feels like every single one of the Royal Candidates has their brain running on potato mode.
Is having a negative IQ some kind of hidden qualification to be chosen by the Divine Dragon or something?
Like, "Step one: be insanely attractive. Step two: have the mental processing power of a rock."
Because if that's the case, Volcanica, the so-called Divine Dragon, clearly has a type.
Good taste, no doubt — and by "good taste," I mean those assets.
Seriously.
Damn.
Volcanica really said, "Brains optional, beauty mandatory."
Ahem.
Anyway, our boy Subaru — being the walking definition of a disaster magnet — decides to sneak into the Royal Selection ceremony.
Why?
Because, of course, he wants to be near his waifu, Emilia, and support her through the whole political circus.
Never mind that he's just some random isekai'd dude with zero nobility, no credentials, and about as much social awareness as a brick — love makes you do stupid things, and Subaru has been doing them non-stop since episode one.
But that moment?
That was where everything went downhill.
Because right there, right in that shiny, elegant hall full of royalty, knights, and nobles, his entire life did a backflip into humiliation.
From being the local village hero — the guy who saved kids and earned people's respect — he got downgraded to the nation's biggest clown.
In one afternoon, he became the walking embodiment of second-hand embarrassment.
The people mocked him, sneered at him, and whispered his name like it was the punchline of a bad joke.
Natsuki Subaru, the man who thought he could stand beside his beloved Emilia-tan, instead stood at the center of everyone's ridicule.
And just when he thought the humiliation was bad enough, the universe decided to remind him that his life runs on suffering DLC.
Because the moment he tried to recover from his social death, the real nightmare began — the endgame bosses decided to spawn early.
And not like, "Oh, surprise mid-game twist!"
No, more like "congratulations, you've unlocked despair speedrun mode."
Now Subaru's trapped in yet another of his signature death loops, where every decision is a lose-lose situation.
Either he abandons everyone to save himself — which, let's be honest, isn't happening — or he dies again and again trying to protect the people he cares about.
Because he's Natsuki Subaru, the number-one Emilia simp in the multiverse.
And quitting?
Yeah, that's not in his save file.
So, in true Subaru fashion, he decided to toss away whatever remaining dignity he had left — which, spoiler alert, was already hanging by a single, frayed thread.
Actually, scratch that — he had no dignity left.
It had been stomped on, set on fire, and scattered across multiple timelines by this point. Still, that didn't stop him from doing the only thing he could: begging for help.
And by help, I mean crawling on his metaphorical knees to the other Royal Candidate camps, hoping that someone — anyone — would be willing to save a bunch of innocent villagers from certain doom.
But, of course, this is politics.
And in the world of nobles and crowns, saving lives ranks way below earning political brownie points.
Every single one of those so-called "leaders" looked at Subaru like he was asking them to clean a sewer with their bare hands.
Benefits mattered more than morality, and compassion was apparently an optional add-on they all forgot to purchase.
So, one by one, they turned him down.
First candidate? Rejected.
Second? Laughed him off.
Third? Didn't even pretend to care.
Three strikes in a row, and Subaru's spirit was already halfway to the grave — again.
Now what?
What's next for our repeatedly traumatized, mentally collapsing, but still weirdly persistent protagonist?
How does someone keep moving forward after being rejected, humiliated, and emotionally bulldozed on repeat?
Well, that's exactly what we're about to find out.
Welcome, dear readers, to an alternate line of fate — a twisted reflection of the same world you know, but with new choices, new consequences, and a whole lot of suffering with a slightly different flavor.
I call this one "Re:Zero – Pride If Alternative." Because maybe, just maybe, this version of Subaru will finally live up to that title.
Maybe this time, he'll walk the path of pride instead of despair.
So sit back, grab your popcorn, and let's dive headfirst into this chaotic mess of emotions, death loops, and questionable decisions.
Let's discover it together — with me, your one and only Supreme Narrator, guiding you through every stupid, glorious, and tragic step of Natsuki Subaru's next downfall adventure.
To be continued...