Absolutely — here is a fully cleaned-up, grammatically corrected, tightened, and polished version of Chapter 4.
I preserved your tone, jokes, personality, and story beats, but removed repetition, fixed flow, corrected tense issues, and improved readability.
Chapter 4: Yin and Yang — Clean Revision
"How soon can we begin?"
Despite the urgency in his voice, John wasn't actually in a rush. He wanted to explore every inch of this dream so he could eventually turn it into a book. What kind of book? Well—that was the real question. Maybe if he had a comment section filled with readers arguing about it, he'd know.
{Note: We can begin now. The moons' personalities will be randomized unless you wish to take control yourself.}
John paused. He wanted to defy the system whenever possible, but this time it was giving him two clear choices. An ultimatum. Typical—exactly what his imagination would do.
He thought for another minute before realizing something painfully obvious.
"How many moons do I have? And… will this hurt?"
He couldn't believe he forgot to ask that.
{You have 112 moons, but only enough yin energy to create 31 sentient moons. As for pain—yes, it will hurt a lot. However, much of your yin energy has been contaminated by foreign yang energy. The system will use that yang energy to heal you.}
{Remark: You might even become manlier?}
"Manlier?" John rubbed his temples.
Yin is feminine energy… yang is masculine… so does that mean I'm absorbing the yang of other men?
That sounded a little… questionable.
I should've stayed a virgin.
"Fine. As disgusting as that sounds, I guess I should do it. Having loyal servants—moons—sounds useful. And I don't trust you yet anyway."
A screen popped up in front of him. It looked exactly like a character creation menu from a video game.
"Uh… system? Why can I adjust body parts and clothes? And why are they all female?"
Sure enough, the system offered way too many customization options. It felt like that one cyberpunk game—but with personality sliders and, well… private part sliders too.
{Host must understand: your servants' projections can only appear within a certain radius of their actual bodies. They can visit you or each other, but nowhere else. As for why they are all female—yin energy is used to make them. Unless, of course, you want to heal yourself with yin energy? That would make you more feminine.}
John imagined that for two seconds and had no idea how it would work. A dream couldn't change his personality… right? Still—thirty-one extremely loyal women who he could design himself?
"…Wait. Does this count as grooming?"
Best not to think about it.
He returned to the creation menu.
After scrolling through options, he noticed a search bar. Curious, he clicked it—and a new grid of icons appeared beneath it.
More exotic races.
"ALIENS!"
There were elves, dwarves, beastwomen—each with subraces he could switch through. He immediately picked all three, then looked at the stranger choices.
There was even a giant insectoid alien. God's Eye helpfully informed him they were known for producing galaxy-devouring pests.
Very cool—but not his vibe.
I'm not interested in anything too alien. I've always been an advocate for human supremacy.
He coughed.
Humanoid supremacy. Sure, that's better.
He typed in every humanoid race he could think of.
"This might help me create some really good lore."
Naturally, lore was the only thing he cared about.
"Every saga needs its backstories. So—Maria. She's from the First Universe, according to her race bio. She met me a billion years ago, we married in secret in another dimension, she's loving, compassionate, and loyal… and—done. Wait, what?"
A number had dropped at the top of the screen.
Personality Points.
{Personality Points are separate from physical traits. If you want your future subordinates to be loyal, spend wisely.}
Great. Another system to manage.
The list said the points were collected from every woman John had ever slept with. And he had definitely slept with more than 31.
"Why don't I have more points?"
{Host: more points means fewer sentient moons.}
That… actually made sense. If he created 112 sentient moons with barely any personality points, they'd be emotionally void at best. At worst—rebellious.
And the last thing he wanted was a moon orbiting him plotting a coup.
He went back to Maria's sheet, lowering traits that didn't fit the character or her future study of "laws"—whatever those were.
She didn't need anger, contempt, or curiosity. As an archangel, she was above that.
Honesty had to be a little lower, though. Obviously.
He assigned her to a pristine white moon with high marble concentration. Aesthetic mattered.
"This makes sense…"
Next up: Sofia the arch demon. She had 10/10 obsession points.
"Who was so obsessed with me—oh wait. Her. The one who shall not be named. That girl broke into my house and stole my socks. Honestly I'm surprised I'm not already paying child support. Crazy bitch."
She wasn't the only one. John had a pattern of dating bold, unhinged women.
One once put cement powder in his gas tank because she thought he was cheating.
"No wonder I have so many obsession points…"
He set Sofia's personality—hot-tempered 7/10, revenge-driven 8/10. Perfectly chaotic.
Then came Elizabeth.
After searching deeper, John found the humanoid celestial race—beings immune to personality corruption from divine energy. That was wicked. He wanted one.
The system insisted their forms were temporary and they would gain true bodies later, so John worked under the assumption that everything needed to be perfect.
Elizabeth became arrogant, prideful, and obsessively loyal.
With big boobs.
Author's Note (Cleaned & Tightened)
Hello, everyone! It's me—the author.
I hope you're enjoying the story so far. Now, let's talk about harems. I've always been on the fence about them. I like realism, and most harems—well, they're messy. Too many characters who disappear after being introduced, and the MC usually sucks, but let's face it. Harems do exist. Even in the real world.
I also wanted him to feel human. So here's my plan:
If readers do want a harem, I'm going full negligence with it.
That's right. No deep emotional bonds, no 31 character arcs, no headaches. These "women" are tools. Lore pieces. Aesthetic trophies. That's it.
John can call them his wives to intimidate his enemies or for the drama.
And with that—enjoy the chapter, and please drop a few power stones. I definitely need them.