Chapter 21
I'd only been in a couple traditional trainer battles.
Yeah, I know, shocking. In the games, it seems like you can't take five steps without some snot-nosed brat, rich kid with a grudge, or wanna-be champ in the making forcing you into an inescapable Pokemon battle.
But that was the games. In reality, while I did get challenged, I was often too busy running to the next Rocket guy I wanted to knock out. I had maybe four real battles under my belt.
One was in the Galar region against a kid with a Skwovet when I was starting out with just Mudkip. Because no matter what, the first Pokemon battle with a trainer out in the wild always has to involve a rodent. That was hard. Not because of the fight, though Mudkip had some trouble, but because my first instinct when seeing Mudkip get hurt was to grab that fucking squirrel by the tail and smack him against the floor while his smug trainer watched.
Mudkip ended up winning with a water gun that sent the rodent smacking against a tree, and the kid gave me 420 pokebucks. While crying. I'd have felt more sympathetic, but he'd been a jerk during the fight, so I didn't mind.
I beat a Lass later with Tyrunt smashing two Pidgeotto's into the ground. I actually gave her some advice that having just two Pokemon, both of the same type, makes it easier to figure out a way to counter her, and to maybe flesh out her team with some other types before challenging people.
Then, long after I'd gotten to Sinnoh, I fought an Ace Trainer with Mimikyu, Mudkip, Gurdurr, Slugma, and Tyrunt, before I would later get Alakazam.
That girl destroyed me. She had a Kommo-o that beat poor Slugma into the ground before I could switch her out, survived a Dragon Claw from Tyrunt, before Mudkip barely beat the clangling tambourine dragon.
Then she brought out a Gardevior and Mega-Evolved it. The next few minutes was one of my favorite psychic-types singing and dancing as she put on a clinic.
I think that was one of the most depressing moments of my life. She was really condescendly nice about it, but the fact was we got our asses handed to us. The other three Pokeballs hanging unused on her waist told me that. I think she later won a tournament or something, but I hadn't been able to text her and ask how she did before I got sent to the DC-verse.
Wonder what she was up to?
Later I'd win against a dude who had a Charmeleon and nothing else. So that was three battles against people who didn't know what they were doing, and one against a badass.
Then again, that wasn't the same as my Pokemon being weak. They'd battled all sorts of Pokemon, from Snorlax's, Haxorus', Gengars, and much more. We'd taken down dozens of Team Rainbow Rocket Pokemon of all kinds.
But that Ace Trainer had shown us we had a lot of growth ahead of us.
As that thought ran through my mind, I was standing across from Giovanni. He was smirking, twirling a Pokeball in his hand. Roxanne was looking between us. Mudkip, Tyrunt, and Mimikyu had been brought over by Alakazam. Mudkip was quivering excitedly in his seat. Tyrunt looked like was going to lose his mind. And Mimikyu was drawing on a sketchpad ever since she heard I needed a new costume.
"So this is a normal thing. Back on your world?" she asked curiously.
"Extremely."
"Very normal."
"A large part of the culture, yes," Alakazam finished for us.
"Guess men are alike all over," Roxanne joked.
"I know some female Champions that would laugh at that statement," Giovanni said with a chuckle. "Now. Shall we begin?"
"...Gurdurr. Let's rock."
"GURDURR!" he jumped forward, smashing his I-Beam into the ground. Then he blinked, looking at his side.
Tyrunt was there. I could almost imagine the sweatdrop on Gurdurr's face. "Gur?"
"Tyrunt?"
I facepalmed. The little dinosaur was so eager to fight that he'd thought I'd called his name. Fine.
"All right. Gurdurr, let him take his shot."
"Gurrrrrrr," he growled, but conceded, pulling back to rejoin us.
"Ty, ty, ty!" Tyrunt jumped up and down happily, eager for a fight.
"Hmm…" Giovanni tossed the Pokeball in his hand up and down. "Conceding to your Pokemon's demands… I can understand that you wish to be kind. It is good to kind to your underlings. But battle requires discipline. Allow me to show you!"
He tossed the Pokeball forward. A white light was followed by a roaring purple tank of rage smashing into the battlefield. Nidoking looked around, his eyes landing on Tyrunt. He slowly smiled.
Tyrunt did the same, scratching at the dirt with one of his legs. "Ty."
"Kiiiiiing," the larger Pokemon growled.
"Well. Looks like we're all motivated. Miss Leech? If you would?"
"I'm a lawyer, not a referee," she said with a roll of her eyes. Then she raised a hand, looking between Tyrunt and Nidoking. "...Begin!"
With that call, Nidoking sped forward and swiped down at Tyrunt. The tiny dino leaped back, barely getting out of the way. Nidoking's claws hit the ground.
The whole fucking room shook.
"Jesus!" Roxy fell on her ass, gaping.
I rode the waves as best as I could. No energy, no powers. Just sheer raw strength. Fine.
"Tyrunt, Bulldoze!"
"Ty!" An orange aura flowed off Tyrunt raised as he raised a foot, then stomped it down. A shockwave followed, flowing across the ground in an orange ring that shook the ground before smashing into Nidoking. He took the blow and stumbled, then smirked.
"Good effort," Giovanni complimented. Other than that though, he stood still, hands in pockets. Nidoking and he met eyes.
The purple titan roared, then lowered his head. A white glow surrounded his horn. My eyes widened, and I quickly shouted.
"Tyrunt, use Ice Fang on the beam!"
Thank god, Tyrunt didn't hesitate. His jaw was surrounded in a white haze of power as he jumped from the ground, to a boulder, then up into the air towards Nidoking. Nidoking tracked his movements and fired at the apex of Tyrunt's jump, an Ice beam snapping out from his horn.
"TY!" the dino chomped down as the lightning-esque beam of pure cold. His teeth, surrounded in similar energy, chomped down a few feet from Nidoking, and a burst of ice exploded from both of them.
"Ahhh!" Roxy staggered back and fell down.
"Mimikyu!"
While the tiny Pokemon ran to make sure Roxy was okay, I kept my eyes on the fight. I felt the chill as snowflakes fell around us, a cloud of ice hiding Tyrunt and Nidoking from view.
"You seem nervous," Giovanni called out. I glared at him, getting a smug smile in response, before looking back at the fight.
Tyrunt finally appeared from the cloud. He was staggering, whining quietly. His teeth were cracked over with ice. Nidoking came out of the smoke behind him. While the front of his body was frosted over, he looked less damaged from the explosion than Tyrunt had been. His fist clenched.
"Nininini," he laughed darkly. He then kicked Tyrunt in the back, sending him tumbling to the ground before I could say anything.
"Ruuu!" Tyrunt cursed as he rolled on the ground.
"Tyrunt!" I shouted.
Purple sludge rose from the ground around Nidoking in a ring. Tyrunt heard the sound of the attack and looked at me.
His eyes were still filled with determination. He gave me a grin. I felt something like pride in him. He twisted around, running towards Nidoking, letting out a tiny enraged roar. I shouted as he made his suicide run.
"Tyrunt! Use Dragon Tail!"
Green power surrounded him like fire, though something like holographic scales flickered around his tail. He roared "Tyyyyyyy!"
"KING!" With that response, the purple sludge around Nidoking snapped upward to coalesce into a ball of liquid around the size of a trash can. The fumes from the ball burned my nose with acidic power. He punched forward, the ball becoming a wave that crashed down onto Tyrunt.
He screamed. I grit my teeth. And Tyrunt smashed his way through the wave. His body was pitted with small holes, the acid having burned through his rock carapace in massive sections. But I could see Tyrunt grinned as he twisted into the air. His tail burned with the energy of something far older than any of us. When he roared, it was like he suddenly grew thousands of times larger. The Dragon Tail hit Nidoking hard enough to send his neck cracking to the side, his entire body lifting up into the air.
The emerald energy from the attack surrounded Nidoking, sending him flying back. Purple sludge hit the ground, pitting the earth with acidic liquid. We scrambled back as the poison faded away.
"Nidoking!?" was the last thing the surprised giant could roar before the emerald energy turned red, forcibly shoving him into the Pokeball at Giovanni's side.
"...Ty," Tyrunt landed on the ground. He wavered weakly back and forth. Then, with a victorious grin at Giovanni, he fell to the floor with a small puff of dirt going up at the impact. Still smiling, Tyrunt passed out.
"Hm," Giovanni cocked his head to the side. "I'm not sure how to take that. He passed out, but you still managed to force me to change my Pokemon."
Yeah, that was the power of moves like Dragon Tail. Using natural power to force a retreat while causing damage. The I didn't reply, running out to grab Tyrunt into my arms. "Mudkip, you're up!"
"Kip!" as the small blue Pokemon rushed out and I went back to the sidelines to take care of the passed out Tyrunt, Giovanni sighed.
"You really need to learn to savor the moment, Kahu."
"Savoring moments is for rich idiots with nothing but time and people too damn strong to worry about anything else," I snapped, gently lowering Tyrunt to the ground. Mudkip and I glared at him, ready for the next fight.
"...Rich idiots meaning-"
"Oh," I blinked, realizing what that sounded like. "Uh, no. That wasn't an insult towards you. I just meant people who are dumb. You're on the powerful side of the scale."
"Ah…" Giovanni seemed pleased. He also reached for another Pokeball. In a burst of light, Nidoqueen came into existence. The regal queen cooed as she appeared, her voice almost melodious despite how deep it was. She looked down at Mudkip, who crouched in a ready stance.
I was thinking fiercely in the brief heartbeat where Nidoqueen and Mudkip were facing each other. That fight hadn't been ideal, to say the least. We'd done some damage, hitting Nidoking with a ground and ice move, two things he was weak against, but he was a fucking tank. Giovanni still had him as an option. If it wasn't for Nidoking revealing he could use Ice Beam, I could have set up more, maybe have Tyrunt put up a field of Stealth Rocks. But right now, I was down one Pokemon.
Still, I had a chance to keep fighting.
"Nido!" the queen however, wasn't about to let me think. She raised a hand, poison pouring from the gaps in her armor, solidifying into dozens of tiny caltrops, and tossed them at Mudkip. He paled, dodging the dozens of tiny sharp objects.
Shit. Toxic Spikes.
"Mudkip, hit her with Waterfall!"
"Kip!" a storm surrounded Mudkip. He sped forward like a blue torpedo, heading for Nidoqueen's chest. She crouched down and braced herself. When Mudkip hit her, the water around him exploded on contact. The wave of water splashed us, the snowflakes that had covered the ground were washed away, while the toxic spikes floated on the waves for a moment.
And Nidoqueen withstood the storm. She raised a hand and smacked Mudkip with a giant forearm.
"Mudkip!?" he shouted as he was sent flying into a boulder, the stone cracking under his body.
"Shake it off, Mudkip, you got this!"
"You can do it!" Roxy joined in, surprising the hell out of me. When I looked over, she'd placed Mimikyu on her shoulder at some point.
"Kiiiiip!" with that little growl, he got to his feet.
Nidoqueen ignored him to instead slap her tail against the ground. Tiny spokes of stone poked out of the ground.
And just like that, I knew what I was dealing with. Nidoqueen was a trap setter. If Nidoking was Giovanni's battleship, Nidoqueen must have been his defensive wall. No wonder she'd barely responded to Mudkip's attack. She was made to take hits from fully evolved Pokemon while turning the battlefield into a hell zone.
So I had to hit from a different angle. "Mudkip, hit her with a Water Pulse!"
Mudkip grit his teeth and brought up a wave of water. The water blast that hit Nidoqueen shivered oddly as it smashed into her face. Nidoqueen blinked in confusion, but shook her head. Damn, that hadn't worked. Maybe something-
Giovanni cocked his head to the side. Nidoqueen seemed to treat that as some kind of signal. Because she raised her hands high, then smashed her fists into the earth.
BOOM.
And the ground under Mudkip exploded like a grenade had gone off. He was sent flying upwards, screaming, then smacked into the ceiling. I cursed in my head, resisting the urge to run forward and catch Mudkip. He landed hard.
"Mudkip!" I shouted out to him. "Can you fight?"
"..." he slowly rose to his feet. His eyes were blank for a moment. THen he shook his head, blinking blearily. Holy shit. He'd passed out for a second. Still, he forced himself into a crouch.
"Still standing?" Giovanni chuckled. "Well. That is interesting. How much more can you withstand-"
Mudkip surrounded himself in waves of water, and charged forward. He smashed into Nidoqueen with all his might. This time, she staggered back. She smirked a bit.
"Oh?" Giovanni smiled. "Torrent."
My little blue Pokemon was emitting sapphire energy. His eyes were hard as he landed on the ground and growled.
"Mudkip, Water Pulse, now!"
"MUUUUUD!" the sapphire power around him sprayed outward as another blast of water. Nidoqueen clenched her claws into the ground as she withstood the waves. Through the water though, I could see the soundwaves that were bouncing back and forth through the water having an effect, a wild confusion in her eyes. I almost wanted to cheer.
Then she rushed forward. Mudkip's eyes widened. She smashed through the waves like they were nothing. Even in her confusion, she seemed to see Mudkip. With a single jump, she came down towards Mudkip. He twisted out of the way, and she shook the ground on landing, seeming to hurt herself just a bit. But only a bit.
"Waterfall!" I shouted desperately.
He smashed into her back. And she grabbed him before he could move.
Fuck.
"Kip," he mumbled.
She jumped up, holding tight to him. As we watched, she body slammed the much smaller Pokemon into the ground, and I staggered as the ground shook under us. For a moment, we all stared. Then, still confused, Nidoqueen staggered to her feet, looking around like she didn't know where she was. Mudkip was lying in a crater, eyes closed. Fuuuuck.
"A fine showing. Torrent really is a good ability for those desperate moments. Sadly, not as dependable as Sheer Force is," Giovanni shrugged, though I could see how smug he was. "Who is next?"
"You could be less arrogant," I grumbled.
"Is it arrogance when you really are just that damned good?" Giovanni asked with a chuckle.
I didn't answer. Instead, I stepped forward. Nidoqueen stared at me blearily, but didn't attack me as I raised my Pokeball to pull Mudkip back. I would have gone out to pick him up, but the intense fight had covered the ground in a surface of mud. Mud that was now hiding toxic spikes and stealth rocks.
I couldn't send Slugma out there. She'd be torn apart by the attacks. Mimikyu could stand up to the blows a lot better, but I wanted her to wait for a bit. Alakazam for the same reason.
Luckily, I had a Pokemon perfect for this.
"You ready?" I asked Gurdurr.
He nodded. No smiles, no grim determination from Gurdurr. He only lifted his I-Beam onto his shoulders, and strode out into the field.
Immediately, dozens of tiny sharp stone popped out of the mud, twisted around, and hit him. Gurdurr grit his teeth as they created a bunch of small cuts all across him. The other stealth rocks around the field shivered, revealing their location so he would be able dodge or block the next ones. I saw him note those stones, but otherwise nothing.
Nidoqueen raised an eyebrow as Gurdurr steadily approached, a heavy weight to the air around us.
"Ni? Nido, Nidoqueen?" she asked, holding her hands out as she smirked.
"Gur," Gurdurr said matter of factly. He kept walking forward, left arm swinging as his right bounced his I-Beam across his shoulder. "Gurdurr durr."
The brazen confidence seemed to make Nidoqueen amused. She began walking forward as well. "Dododo," she chuckled.
"What are they saying?" Roxy asked me. I placed a hand on my face and didn't answer, focused on the fight.
Just when they met in the center, Gurdurr winced. As his right foot lifted, I saw a toxic spike sink into his skin, filling him with poison. Nidoqueen smirked. And so did Gurdurr.
"Mach Punch!"
A lightning fast fist slammed into Nidoqueen's face with brutal power. She staggered, shocked by the speed and power of the move.
It was one of Gurdurr's trump cards. Most Pokemon had either a standard suite of moves or had gotten some TM's when I could scrape the money together to buy one. But Gurdurr had surprised me. He was descended from a Hitmonchan. With that family line, his usual brutal moveset was supplemented with the clean and crisp moves of a trained boxer.
Seriously, how does boxing always follow me in my life.
Nidoqueen, not to be outdone, twisted around. Her fist was surrounded in a veil of poison as she slammed it into Gurdurr's chin. He grunted at the impact.
"Close Combat!"
Gurdurr pressed in, his I-Beam spinning. Giovanni and I spread our stances out. And for a moment, I wasn't watching a fight. I was in one. I felt like I was facing Giovanni, the taller man taking a series of punches across his body. He responded with another quick venom-boosted jab. I felt the poison in my blood chip away at my stamina, and pushed myself forward on guts alone.
I pulled back from that strange trance. But I didn't stop calling out.
"Drain Punch into the Poison Jab! Close Combat when her right foot goes back! Drain Punch again! Step back and Hammer Arm!"
Gurdurr followed my directions with furious speed. His fists and I-Beam slashed outward as one. It wasn't like watching, say, Jackie Chan or Bruce Lee, use a bo staff. It was more like watching a boxer turned construction worker with a crowbar. All strength and speed, but the technique wasn't from ancient martial arts. Every time he swung the I-Beam to smash it into Nidoqueen's steel hard carapace, it was in the style learned from hours of manual labor, not martial skill.
But then, no one wants a super-strong construction worker hitting them in the face with a giant piece of metal no matter how little martial arts they knew. Supplemented with his boxing technique, I started to feel a bit of hope.
The problem was Nidoqueen. She was a fucking tank. She took blow after blow, her polished scales looking a little scuffed, but otherwise she was still in it. And she was deceptively fast as well. Blows that hit Gurdurr seemed to come from insane angles. It was only after a hard look that I realized this was just an example of her experience. She wasn't hitting at strange angles. She was just seeing the weak points in Gurdurr's defense, keeping herself just away enough to make his blows a bit weaker, smashing him with an attack right when he was pulling back his I-Beam.
Giovanni didn't do call outs. He simply moved to stay in view of the fight. Nidoqueen kept an eye on him, but they didn't interact beyond that. And yet, I felt like they were screaming at each other.
Still. I knew we could do this. I began to see black spots in my vision. That was when I realized I'd been holding my breath for a moment too long, so intensely focused on the fight I'd stopped to put more attention on the trading of blows. I took in another breath, vision clearing.
"This is the most important part of the fight," I mumbled to myself.
"How so?" Roxy asked.
I resisted the urge to jump in surprise. I'd forgotten she was there. I spoke without thinking. "This fight was never about me winning. It was about proving what we can really do. To Giovanni and to ourselves."
She seemed to understand that. Good. I could focus on the fight.
When I'd fought the Ace Trainer, my Pokemon hadn't been as strong as they were now. But Giovanni was even stronger. I'd only survived Nidoking thanks to Dragon Tail. But we were still strong.
But when Gurdurr spat out some violet colored liquid, I felt trepidation in my heart. Guts may be able to make poison into a boost, but that didn't mean the venom wasn't doing damage. Even Drain Punch could only heal so much damage. Combined with that was Close Combat trading Gurdurr's ability to defend himself for raw defensive power. He was pouring it on, but staying that close to Nidoqueen had opened him up for some power blows. The time limit on this fight was getting close.
It needed to end in the next blow. I decided to go for it. Nidoqueen raised her fist back. Her left leg lifted as she prepared another Poison Jab.
That was what I needed!
In that moment, as one leg was lifted at the highest point, I shouted.
"Gurdurr! Low Kick !"
It was at just the right time. He snapped one foot forward, smashing it into her left leg with all he had. She fell to a knee, shocked as the poison around her fist shattered. She looked up at Gurdurr.
He raised his I-Beam high, orange power surrounded it like fire, a vicious grin on his face. I raised a fist in the air, my throat raw when I screamed out. "Superpower!"
The metal bludgeon came down like an executioner's sword. Nidoqueen, unable to dodge the move, didn't seem worried. She only smiled and closed her eyes.
A sound like a rock exploded filled the air. The ground beneath Nidoqueen cratered. She smacked into the floor, dust exploding around them. Gurdurr and I stared down at her. For a moment, I thought I saw her move. My heart stopped. But then, a beam of red light flew into her, coalescing around her before pulling her into the Pokeball in Giovanni's hand.
He had one hand in his pocket and was chuckling lightly. "Well. How interesting… Oh. I believe you should pass out now," he told Gurdurr.
Gurdurr stared at him.
Giovanni snapped his fingers. And Gurdurr's eyes slid closed. He stabbed his I-Beam into the ground, trying to stay up. But the combination of poison and the sheer amount of blows he'd taken made that impossible. He fell to the ground, passing out. I ran forward and turned him over to his back. After making sure he would be okay with some rest and time, I sighed, patting him on his shoulder.
"Good job…"
"It was," GIovanni said idly. He walked forward, bouncing another Pokeball in his hand. "Now… I think I have your measure. I have suggestions for what you could do to improve. For one thing, I'm not sure why young trainers seem so obsessed with fighting like they're in a turn-based video game…"
I winced at that. "I thought that's how tournaments have to be fought."
"The only reason you don't hear thousands of moves being shouted out in tournaments is because professional trainers don't often have to talk to direct their Pokemon," Giovanni cocked his head to the side. "Now… You have three Pokemon left. Do you wish to battle with them as well?"
I thought about that. Alakazam and I shared a look.
"You know as well as I do how this fight will go," he said in my mind.
I did. Alakazam might win against Nidoking. He had a type advantage and some damn powerful moves on his side, enough to maybe beat out Nidoking's power and experience. But he'd be wounded in the fight. Giovanni would make sure of that.
After that, well… Persian. The powerhouse likely had anti-Psychic and Ghost moves. Shadow Claw or Throat Chop would ruin the day for Mimikyu and Alakazam. Then, Slugma was left. She might have a shot at hurting Persian. But that thing was insanely powerful. If I had to be honest… well, if any Pokemon might have a chance of beating all my Pokemon, or at least most of them, Persian was one of them.
So no. This was a training session. Breaking my family on a stone wall would get me nothing.
"No. I… give up," I forced through my throat.
Damnit. Even though it was the right decision, it still felt like ash in my throat.
"Yes. You do," Giovanni smirked at the look I gave him. "Cheer up. It was fun to fight you at least. It has been far too long since I got a real Pokemon battle. Well, part of one at least."
One day, I was gonna find a way to get Batman to fight Giovanni, just so I could see an asswhooping take place.
For now, I swallowed my pride and got to my feet, pulling out a Pokeball. "So… how can I improve?"
"Oh, in a few ways," Giovanni watched me point the Pokeball to put Gurdurr away. With Tyrunt, Mudkip, and Gurdurr in their Pokeballs, Alakazam floated over to us. Slugma came up to me with a sad look on her face. Mimikyu, sitting on Roxy's shoulders kept looking at me with something close to betrayal.
I winced. By giving up before they could even get a fight in, I'd unintentionally signalled to Slugma and Mimikyu that they couldn't win. That they somehow weren't good enough. That wasn't what I'd been trying to do, but it was… Well. I needed to make it up to them soon.
"Walk with me," Giovanni said. He waved a hand and strode away. Persian slinked after him.
Mimikyu wobbled on Roxy's shoulder as the blonde looked at me. "You okay?"
"No," I said without a beat, moving to follow Giovanni. "Losing fucking sucks."
"I thought you said winning wasn't the point of the fight," she said.
"It wasn't. Doesn't mean losing feels any better."
She rolled her eyes. "Men."
"Oh, I'm sorry. Does the lawyer with a near-perfect record want to talk about the times she lost and somehow found enjoyment in it?" I scowled at her. "I acknowledge that I lost, and it sucks. Now I'm going to move on and get stronger."
She smirked at me. "Kalini was right. You're too damn serious."
Funny. I hadn't been before all this.
Before we could continue talking, the doors to the next room opened before Giovanni. He strode into a boxing gym.
The room was large and clean. A large boxing ring sat in the center of the room, and a UFC cage took up the other side. Bags were hanging up on one side of the room on chains leading to rails up above, and the room was ringed with water fountains and weights next to mirrors. It was weirdly sterile.
"You ever use this room?" I asked out of honest curiosity. "I've never been in a gym that smelled this clean before."
"It's new," Giovanni said. "I've only recently begun working out here. Roxanne, you've used it as well?"
"Every day since it was installed," Roxy said. Just under the sound of her voice, there was a sound that was almost familiar. It permeated the air, like a rhythmic drum beat. A 'boom, boom, boomboomboom.' What was that?
"I might want to borrow the ring if you're down," I said as Giovanni turned to look at me.
"You won't have to. It's yours," Giovanni said. He gave me a look. "From what I know of the heroics of this world, heroes are dumb enough to risk themselves in a fight. Now, I prefer to leave that for when it is necessary, but tradition demands you exhibit some form of combat ability. I know you prefer to throw punches anyway. How about we see what you need to make those punches devastating?"
"...You're gonna teach me how to fight?" I asked skeptically.
He scoffed. "Please. I have people for that."
The rhythmic booming sound stopped. A door across from us opened. And Floyd Lawton stepped out. His mask was hanging off his belt. Behind him was a gun range. I could see dozens of metal targets shaped like a person, each with a single hole in the heart, head, armpits, and groin. The ones in the heart were glowing red.
"Go a few rounds with Mr. Lawton," Giovanni said as though I wasn't about to die. "It'll help me select a good teacher for your martial skills."
"Yeah," Floyd said, walking across the room to look down at me. I didn't swallow my fear. "You ready?"
"..."
I got into the ring. And yeah.
Deadshot beat me with his fists like I was made of play dough. And when he found out how durable a Poke-human was, he really let me have it.
Fuck my life sometimes, man. Some parts were awesome, like my Pokemon. And some, like getting beat to a pulp by a mercenary, were really damn awful.
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Author's Note: Yeah, Kahu lost and gave up. For those who might be mad he gave up… I mean, it would be a waste of time if he didn't. Giovanni beat three of his Pokemon before one of his was knocked out. Nidoking still had most of his health in game terms, stealth rocks and toxic spikes were still on the field, and Persian is crazy strong compared to Kahu's lower level Pokemon, with a heap of experience on top of that.
Still, I'm kinda proud of this battle. Had fun writing it, I think I did some cool things, and I held back on some techniques that will show up later. It was a fun af ride.
Chapter 22
So after that beating I and my Pokemon got from Giovanni and Deadshot, morale was a bit low for us. I think Grace and Kalini sensed it when we got back, but they didn't say anything. They weren't really close enough to us to really press us about that.
It was fine. We had each other.
A heavy dose of Giovanni's updated potion healed all the regular wounds that Tyrunt, Mudkip, Gurdurr, and I got at least. Emotionally, Alakazam was the only one really unfazed by it. Slugma and Mimikyu didn't seem to be able to look at me the same way. Tyrunt had woken up in a fury, and was now just sitting in a corner staring at the wall. His teeth were grit, and his eyes kept flickering from side to side.
Gurdurr wasn't as prideful as Tyrunt was. Still, when I decided to work out, he was in the gym he'd built, furiously pumping weights. We didn't talk, just worked out in silence.
Mudkip went for a swim. When he came back, he had several breeds of large fish being dragged behind him, all dead. He simply laid them in the fridge, blasted them with Ice Beam, then went back into the ocean. I let him go.
Like I'd told Roxy. Acknowledging a loss isn't the same as liking it.
Still, feelings aside, I knew we could come back from this. We hadn't exactly lost to a chump. We'd lost to Giovanni. Even if you ignored his memetic status as a badass in my universe and his, which was at least a bit inflated, he was someone who had his rep for good reason. Getting beat to hell by Lawton was something I could accept as well. In many universes, Deadshot had taken on people like Deathstroke, Green Arrow, and Superman himself. I wasn't going to win a fight with him any time soon.
Didn't mean either of them was going to be out of range forever.
Whatever. If I kept thinking and rethinking everything, I would just end up running my brain in circles.
I had to move on. Not because I didn't want to deal with the current lowered morale, but that I couldn't let my Pokemon wallow in their sorrow. We needed to grow, not stagnate. The Silicon Dragons were still out there. So we couldn't just sit on our laurels.
Back to work.
------
Work, of course, meant a lot of things. We all had something to do.
First, we picked up essentials from Giovanni. The former/current/future criminal, apply whichever works best, had an eye for what resources a lair needed. He got us the sorts of things we'd need for Alakazam to do his research, for Grace to continue her practice and get into online schooling, for Gurdurr to start doing his more sophisticated construction projects.
With that, we started getting into it.
------
Two days after we got beat up, I was standing in my favorite ghost-girls room, watching her sketch at the computer she'd gotten. She had gotten a drawing tablet as part of the stuff Giovanni had sent, and had fallen in love with the little device. A single extended hand of pure shadow was poking out from beneath the Superman costume she'd made, the classic curl of hair on 'his' face bouncing as she drew.
"Kyu?" Mimikyu lifted a drawing for me to look at. I took her pad and looked over what she'd drawn.
"Oh wow," I blinked. "Mimikyu, this looks fun. I really like the scarf."
She'd apparently taken the looks of more old school heroes as inspiration, while still adding some modern aesthetics. Like she'd gotten advice from both the Justice Society and Justice League on making it. I'd likely have taken anything she offered, because I'm a massive softy, but I really did like it.
"Mimikyu!" she bounced slightly in her chair, Superman's head bouncing with her. Then she stopped and cocked her head to the side. "Kyu?"
"I don't know if I can think of anything to add," I frowned thoughtfully. "Well… We're going to get shot at a lot. And I might be bullet resistant, but maybe-"
"Mi!" she grabbed the tablet out of my hand and turned back to her computer. After a search, she seemed to find the right reference material. She sketched for a moment, doing some small adjustments. She eventually had a rough sketch. Very rough, but I could see what she was planning.
"All of them, huh?" I thought about that. "Well, I like it. And it'll be fun seeing people try to figure out what they mean."
"Kyu, kyu!" Superman's head bounced back and forth, his tiny cape waving.
------
In the section we'd carved out for her laboratory, Grace was wearing a giant labcoat. Whoever had picked out her clothes had a real eye for sizes, because it all fit her really well. She was typing slowly at a keyboard as I sat in my underwear next to her, waiting for her to finish her assessment. After a bit, she turned to look at me.
"So, can I put my clothes back on?" I asked casually. It was pretty warm, but hanging out in a room in my boxers in front of people was always weird.
"Yes, you can," Grace flashed her sharp teeth. "And congrats. You're more human than I am."
"But I'm not human?"
"Well, you are. As much as any of us, really. Actually, in terms of DNA, you're further than I am, but that's not important-"
"Wait, what does that mean!?" My voice might have cracked a bit.
She gave me a weird look. "Well. I'm technically .9 percent more human than you are?"
"Oh," What the fuck. "Fine. So what is different about me besides that?"
"Denser skin, for one," she said quickly. "If you hadn't told me about it I still would have believed you could take a bullet or two. The best way I could dumb it down is that your entire body is built like someone was trying to make a superhuman and just barely got there. You won't be tossing cars, but you're a lot stronger than a kid your age should be. But your durability is the most obvious thing. You'd need to stress test it to really find out your limits though."
I finished putting my shirt on. "Well, at least this superhero gig will give me plenty of chances to do that. Get my ass kicked enough times and I'll find out what breaks me."
"You are far too cavalier about getting beat up," Grace said with a sigh. "I'm terrified about going out and fighting people."
"You don't have to go out and fight anyone," I looked at her, confused. "Why do you need to fight anyone?"
"I…" she looked as befuddled as I was. "Shouldn't I? I mean, look at me," she waved at herself. "I can lift boulders!"
"So can Gurdurr and Mudkip. And they have actual fighting experience. You don't have to fight anyone. Kalini isn't going to."
"Kalini isn't 8 feet of whale muscle," she pointed out, though there wasn't any heat to it. She rubbed her hands together, fidgeting. "I just… I kind of thought that, with all this... I'd have to fight. That I would be helping you take on the Dragons."
"You are helping. We need your knowledge, your intelligence. I never really considered you having to fight someone," I cocked my head to the side. "Grace. We might have to kill someone."
She flinched. I continued.
"I doubt it'll pop up, but it's a possibility. We might have to. Or, one of us will die. Maybe someone innocent will. But my Pokemon and I got into the mindset where that possibility didn't scare us off. It's why we're training, equipping ourselves, getting ready for this. I'm not going to keep you from this fight, and you can get on the battlefield if you want."
"But it isn't necessary. We don't need another fighter as much as we need a scientist, a doctor. You want to train, get your head in the right space so you can be out with my dumb ass taking and giving punches? Okay, wonderful. But it's not necessary. You have a new body, your entire life has changed. Just take your time first. Okay?"
She looked me over for a moment, not saying anything. Finally she sighed, a loud and wheezing sound that exited her mouth and blowhole at the same time. "I'll… think about it."
Well, that was fine. As long as the damn universe didn't try to force shit. The DC Universe hates it when superhumans aren't in the middle of some sort of drama.
Just then, a little grunt came from a table on the other side of Grace's lab. We looked over.
Poor Tyrunt had woken up. He was covered in some kind of medical instruments. Grace had explained they took temperature, measured minute changes in his physiology, all sorts of things I didn't understand. They looked like silver stickers with wires attached trailing to different machines around him.
He looked blearily around before noticing us. "...Runt."
Grace looked at me for a translation. "He wants to know if we're done."
"We should be," Grace turned and leaned over to look Tyrunt in the eyes. "Thank you for being so patient. This is going to help me a lot!"
He grinned proudly. Tiny primadonna, that's what he was, always happy when praised.
Tyrunt was the second of my Pokemon to get this treatment, Gurdurr being first. Grace may have been a doctor, but it was hard for her to be able to do her job if she didn't understand the biology of her subjects.
"I just need one more thing," Grace lifted a chisel. Not a scalpel. A chisel. "A skin sample.
He stared at the chisel, wide eyed. "...Tyyyyyy."
Then he leapt off the bed, sending machines flying, and ran for the door.
"Tyrunt?" I followed after him as he screamed. "Dude, you took bullets less than a week ago, how does a chisel scare you!?"
"It's just a small sample!" Grace yelled in agreement.
So yeah. Turns out chisels are the rock-Pokemon equivalent to syringes. Who knew?
------
Slugma approached me later on about something important. Her room was actually the simplest overall. Just an empty space with lava in the center of the room ringed in a fence made of solid concrete.
I sat in a chair in front of the pool of lava while she talked. "Slugma, Slug, Slug. Ma, Slugma."
"I…" I hesitated. "Slugma, you aren't weak. Why would you think that?"
She gave me a look. "Slugma."
"Giovanni would have rolled us over no matter what," I shook my head. "Or are you going to say Alakazam and Mimikyu are weak and that is why I stopped the fight?"
"..." she sank briefly into the lava, then came back up, a sad smile on her face. She didn't have to say it.
"You've been comparing yourself to someone a lot stronger than you?" That was a surprise. "Who?"
"Slug," she sighed.
"Slugma, you haven't evolved yet. You shouldn't be comparing yourself to anyone even then. Be better than the Pokemon you were yesterday, not better than someone else."
She huffed, giving me a skeptical look. "Slug."
"Giovanni and Deadshot aren't people I compare myself too," I sighed. "Slugma, I'm not training because they beat me. I'm training because I know I can get stronger. Strong enough to keep you all safe. To keep people who matter safe. Learning from them will help me do that."
I scratched my cheek, thinking. "Slugma, just think of our training as that. Don't try to compare yourself to someone. Just focus on getting better everyday. Hell, we're getting training from the ones you're comparing yourself to, right?"
"..." she smiled slowly. "Slugma. Sluuuuma."
Before I could say anything, she spun around, splashing as she slinked off, leaving me with more questions.
"What does that mean?" I mumbled. 'Not yet. But I will!' Who was she comparing herself to?
------
"Your training regimen will need to be carefully calculated," Giovanni said as we stood in his gym. While he was dressed in his normal clothes, I was wearing workout gear as we waited for my new teacher. "Diet, exercise, rest. All in balance. I've hired a nutritionist to make you a meal plan. As for your exercise, I expect you to take it seriously. I wouldn't want your new teacher to spend every moment simply forcing you out of bed."
"Giovanni," I sighed. "I'm not going to be a lazy asshole about this."
"You are a teenager," he pointed out.
"I'm not. Besides that, I'm a superhero. If I don't train, I die. That's facts."
"That is a fact," Giovanni smirked. "Always love how eager young ones are to grow up."
"It's the lack of hair on my chest, the cold just constantly annoys me."
"You should be grateful for your youth," Giovanni said.
"I don't know about that," before I could say anything else, the doors to the gym opened. The man of the hour had arrived.
He was a large Hawaiian man, with a silver hair that shone in the light. He was wearing a black uniform, and carrying a bag over one shoulder. He was built like the Hawaiian version of how I always pictured Batman would be in his seventies. Heavier set, muscles worn with age. But carrying himself with a certain sort of edge to him. Giovanni had it. Deadshot had it. But this guy was a hell of a lot more badass looking. The handlebar mustache on his face helped that. No man with facial hair that savage could be less than badass.
"Vanni," the man said as he walked into the room. "This the kid?"
"...Vanni?" I looked over at Giovanni.
"It's a nickname," he said with a smirk. "And yes Amos, this is indeed the 'kid'."
"Jesus, Vanni, he looks like he should be trying to stare at girls tits in high school," the man, Amos Kameāloha, looked me up and down, wrinkles around his steel-gray eyes crinkling with annoyance. "Shouldn't you be in school you little shit?"
"Wow, you just come out of the gate cantankerous, huh?" I asked, blinking. "And no. I've got other stuff on my plate."
"Not today," he tossed his bag at me. As I caught it, he smirked. "I'm just here because Giovanni paid me a stupid amount of money. You need to prove to me you are worth a damn. And if you don't, I'm going to walk out that door. If you get lazy, or give me any bullshit, I'm going to beat the hell out of you, then walk away."
I thought about that. Then I nodded. "Yeah, all right."
"Oh goodie, he's pretending to be brave," he cocked an eyebrow at me. "Get in the ring, shitstain. Time to learn Kapu Kuialua."
Well. At least my new teacher wasn't afraid to speak his mind.
------
Kapu Kuialua was a Hawaiian martial art. Which made it perfect for Kahu Kiaʻi to learn. My secret identity was getting adopted by Hawaii's population after all. Leaning into it a bit would make that better.
After a quick session, I learned a couple of things. First, my wrestling experience in High School was useful, but Lua was a lot more brutal. It was like jiu jitsu if it was designed by a shark. All about not just subduing an opponent, but beating the shit out of them while you did it.
Amos was a master of it. He was built like a tank, for one thing, his muscles taking any punch I gave him with only a grunt. He would grab my arm, pull me out of position, then smash me with punch after punch while controlling my movements.
I liked it. The art was brutal, fast, and way fun. I felt like a kid again.
Granted, I also ended up with some extra bruises, but they weren't as bad as the ones I got from Deadshot. Mostly Amos spent his time training me, hitting me for the purpose of showing where I shouldn't get hit. And cussing. A lot of cussing. He seemed to have learned his insults from a combination of sailors, gangsters, and European tough guys.
"Bitch!" he took a punch on his arm and smashed me with a right hook. "If you're gonna hit me, put some weight behind it! Don't try to smack someone's cheeks with a limp dick, you pupule fuck!"
I managed to get him in a grapple, but while I tried squeezing him with all my strength, he would hit me across my face and neck. "There you go, babooz, keep that grip! You wanna take me down, you better have the conviction to keep the hold! I'm lolo you fuck, you can't expect me to go down any easier than your bitch ass!"
I had a lot of fun with that, but soon enough he called it. Giovanni had long since left, so it was just me and Amos when we finished.
"This'll work," Amos said while I sipped at some water, dripping sweat. "You've got what you need. Lua isn't some froofy acrobatic art or some shit. It's Paakikî. You gotta be strong and durable. Speed is good, but lua the way I teach it is meant for big motherfuckers who hit hard and take hits."
"I'm not that big," I pointed out. I would be later. While I never got above 5 feet 8 inches in height, I tended to get thick when I built muscle.
"Not yet. But you're a durable fucking hûpô o nâ hûpô," while he was still insulting me, Amos was also grinning. "We'll build you up, don't you worry… Who are you, anyways?"
The question confused me. "What do you mean?"
"I'm getting paid a lot," Amos was looking me up and down. "Last time a haole gave me anywhere close to this much was some brat out of Gotham[a]," I hid my reaction to that. "But you ain't a rich fuck. I can tell. You've got a stick up your okole, but you ain't rich. So why is Vanni asking me to train you?"
"Maybe I'm sleeping with him for his money," I snarked.
"Ha!" Amos chuckled. "Nah. That ain't it. Still. You must be something. What is it?"
I thought about that. Then I took a sip of water. "I can't tell you. It's a secret. And I'm not going to break a promise."
Granted, the promise was to myself. Amos still grunted and nodded. "All righty. Well. Here's the plan. We work out five days a week, four hours a day. We'll trade those times between technique and conditioning. I want you to be strong, hûpô. And like I said. If you give up at any point, I'm going to leave."
"Yeah, I don't have a problem with that," I said. "See you tomorrow then."
Lua, huh. This was going to be fun!
------
Author's Note: Yeah, Amos is a sweary bastard. Good at his job though.
So yeah, decided to lean into the Hawaiian angle by having Kahu learn an ancient Hawaiian martial art. It helps that the martial art in question is DOPE. Any description of it seems to describe how absolutely vicious it can be. I've seen it get described as 'jujitsu made by sharks' more than once. Combine that with Polynesian weapons, and you have a dope art to include in the story.
As for what the Hawaiian words Amos was saying were, here you go.
Hûpô! [HOO' POH'] or Hûpô o nâ hûpô [HOO' POH' oh NAH' HOO' POH'] Fool! Stupid! Literally, swelling darkness.
Okole - Asshole, butt, or bottom
Pupule [poo poo' leh] Sometimes pûpule [POO' poo leh] for emphasis. Crazy! Pupule means crazy, insane, reckless, wild.
Paakikî [pah' ah kee KEE'] Hardhead! Stubborn! Difficult! Paakikî means hard, tough, unyielding, arbitrary, inflexible, difficult, stubborn, obstinate.
Babooz - idiot
Lolo -crazy, stupid
Chapter 23
Kalini, Giovanni, and I stood beside the Olympic-size swimming pool he had in his resort, because of course the Restaurant Royale had an Olympic-size swimming pool. We were watching a black and white shape blur through the water, a tiny blue shape buzzing around it.
"How fast are they going?" I asked Kalini.
"About 40 knots or so," he said, looking down at the computer being used to measure them.
"Sounds about right," I mumbled.
"Does it?" Giovanni looked at me skeptically. "While Mudkip is clearly holding back, the average Killer Whale is said to reach top speeds of 30 knots. She has none of the strength of her larger 'cousins', her being faster doesn't make sense."
"It does in this wacky comic book world," I said with a shrug. "She's smaller, so she's faster. Or maybe it's the fact she still has arms and legs to swim with. Besides, we're still learning how she was changed in the wake of her alteration. We should count ourselves lucky she still eats plants."
"Actually, she doesn't," Kalini looked up at me, chagrined.
"What?" I stared at him. "We had French Fries yesterday!"
"Yeah… and she was throwing up in the bathroom later. Rubbing a large whale woman on the back as she blows chunks was a weird end to the evening let me tell you," he mumbled.
"Wha-" I stared at him horrified. "I-I didn't-"
"You were training, you couldn't have known," Kalini said kindly. He sighed. "The wahine is trying her best to feel normal. But she's not the same as she once was."
God. I hadn't even thought of that. I sighed and rubbed my forehead. "I asked her if we needed to get specific food for her."
"Well, consider this a wake-up call," Giovanni chuckled.
I gave him a glare, then turned back to the pool. "Grace, Mudkip, pop back up for a bit!"
"Kip!"
Mudkip popped out of the water like a rocket, landing gently on my shoulder. Grace swam up to the edge and climbed up the ladder. I took a hard look at her. She was wearing a purple 'short Jane' wetsuit made just for her. While she may not have needed it as much, considering she was basically a Killer Whale in the relatively warm waters of the pool, but we'd unanimously agreed that swimming nude was not going to happen.
"Why'd you call me up?" Grace was grinning at me. There was an energy around her, like she'd gotten jazzed on coffee recently. "It's only been a couple minutes!"
"You've been swimming for twenty minutes," I said.
Her grin fell a bit, surprise in her eyes. "Really!? I'm not even tired."
"Superhuman. The key there being 'super'," I looked up at her, then at Giovanni.
"He's right," Giovanni said with that characteristic confidence. "I must say, even after seeing your absolutely stunning form in person, I couldn't have expected you'd be this fantastically powerful."
She blushed, which was weird but also cute. "Well, Killer Whales can do a lot more…"
"I have been told they spend most of their time in the ocean, so I assume they have practice at such things. In your case, we have yet to find your limits," Giovanni pointed out. "Take pride in your power."
"...Kind of hard to do, when you look like I do," Grace said sadly.
"You look powerful. Predatory."
Grace didn't seem convinced. Giovanni shrugged, letting it go.
"Whatever else, we should get back to finding your limits," I said. "For the time being."
"I'm afraid I cannot stay and watch," Giovanni sighed. "While I'm sure you've enjoyed having me at your beck and call, I am quite the busy man. Gentlemen. Lady. Kahu. Have a pleasant evening."
With that not so slight dig at me, he spun on his heel and left, chuckling lightly the whole way.
"Man. That guy doesn't like you," Kalini said to me.
"Weirdly, I think he does?" I said with a frown. "He just can't help making fun of people."
"How do you know Giovanni, anyways?" Grace asked me curiously.
"We walk in similar circles."
"He's a multi-millionaire who came out of nowhere, how do you guys walk in similar circles?" Grace asked me curiously, cocking her black and white head to the right.
"Well, for one thing, I'm technically also a multi-millionaire who came out of nowhere. That aside, we both have Pokemon," while Grace blinked at that revelation, I continued. "Also, what the hell is Giovanni's reputation on the islands?"
"Well, he's known as a couple things," Kalini said. "He's reclusive, but he's gotten a rep. Genius, millionaire, playboy, philanthropist, that kinda thing."
Before I could face palm at that, Grace continued. "He's also got a bad rep. Lots of Islanders aren't a fan of him. His restaurant was called an eyesore when it was first put up. And tons of people don't like how expensive his 'medical miracles' are," Grace scratched her chin a bit. "Still. He does pay a lot of money to the right kinds of charities. Starting to find that more suspicious now."
"He's not on the up and up," I shrugged. "But he's also on our side. I don't like him personally or morally. None of us have to though. We know he's helping us in a war against way worse people. Literal monsters."
"The enemy of my enemy?" Grace asked.
"More like, joining a tiger to fight a dragon," I sighed. "Anyways. Mudkip, let's get to work practicing those combos Giovanni taught us. I'll get in for a swim while I'm at it."
"You sure you ain't trying to play in the pool?" Kalini teased. "Cause it's kinda hot today…"
"I mean," Grace looked around, an Orca smile growing. "It is a nice pool. And we do have a couple minutes."
I looked between them, then at Mudkip. He grinned.
"Kip!"
"..."
So yeah. A training session ended up turning into us goofballs splashing around in a giant swimming pool. Sue me, you would have done the same.
------
Tyrunt and I were later roaming around the jungle. The little guy had gotten antsy. So we decided to do something he'd been asking me to do with him for weeks. He prowled through the brush, looking around with predatory eyes, a small smile as we sped through the brush. I followed after him, keeping pace as best I could.
And behind us, a grumpy psychic followed.
"This is ridiculous," Alakazam grumbled, floating over the ground at high speed. "We are civilized beings. This is why supermarkets were made!"
"Well, the little guy wants to hunt for his food today," I panted, still following.
"Tyrunt!" he called, still hot on the scent.
"I wish I didn't have to come along for this barbaric enterprise," Alakazam grumbled again.
"Yeah, sorry. Kinda need you to make sure no one finds us. A tiny dinosaur hunting in the jungle is kinda out there. Worse, I'm hunting without a license."
"I do not like your sense of humor on the best of days," Alakazam floated past me. "By the way, the closest one is-"
"Ty!"
"Don't!"
We stopped to glare at him.
"What?"
"Dude, I don't even hunt and I know the whole point is the challenge."
"Tyrunt!"
"Where's the challenge if you just psychically find them?"
"Oh, my apologies. Please, continue to let the apex predator with superhuman senses and powers complete his fair hunt."
"Tyrunt."
"One day you need to learn the difference between sarcasm and compliments."
"Runt!"
Before we could continue the talk, Tyrunt took a deep sniff. He spun around, eyes wide. "Ruuuuunt."
We stayed quiet as he prowled forward. I followed quietly, watching him.
Soon, the jungle was replaced with a field. A field with feral pigs roaming back and forth in the tall grass. Tyrunt entered the grass, while Alakazam and I watched from the trees.
The pigs were big, about the size of a very large dog, and were rooting at the bottom of several trees. I watched silently as the tall grass shifted. The wind was moving in the direction of Tyrunt. One of the pigs seemed to notice something. It looked around, curiously.
For a moment, the sound of pigs grunting and grumbling stopped.
And Tyrunt struck.
It was like seeing a scene from the prehistoric days in miniature. A T-Rex rushing from the trees after prey larger than it. The pigs froze for a mere second at the sight of the silent predator before they spun around to run.
Tyrunt leaped towards one, landing on it's back, his jaws slicing just behind it's head. I'm sure if he had been a regular animal, the pig could have used it's bulk to fight back. Instead, Tyrunt twisted his head, and snapped the pigs spine. The animal fell to the ground. Tyrunt stood atop his prey, letting it go to roar out to the sky.
"Barbaric," Alakazam sighed.
"Well, pigs are an invasive species in Hawaii," I noted, watching calmly as Tyrunt started to dig in. "So this is technically helping. Besides, he's hungry, and I'm tired of buying eighty pounds of meat for him."
"Well, he had best finish his meal fast," Alakazam pointed out. "You all have a patrol soon."
I nodded, not taking my eyes off Tyrunt. He seemed better. For a prideful Pokemon like him, it took a lot to recover from a loss. He was also the good kind of proud/arrogant. You know. The kind where he had a massive amount of confidence, but also worked his ass off to be worthy of that confidence. This hunting trip was a good example of that. He was trying to get himself back into the world, into the fight.
I had to admire him for that. People who are arrogant should at least work their asses off to back it up. Tyrunt knew he had lost. And now he was going to push himself to keep it from happening again.
For now, we'd need to get back into the fray. Time to terrorize the Hawaiian nightlife again.
------
In a street just outside a nightclub in Honolulu, two morons were having a fight.
"He started it-"
"Fuck that man, you were macking on my girl!"
"Screw you haole, yer girl was coming for a real man!"
"Fu-"
I pushed the two idiots apart. "I don't give a shit who started this idiocy, I'll knock both your asses out!"
"Gurdurr!" he raised his I-Beam menacingly. Tyrunt was chuckling as he looked around, while Mudkip was looking around curiously at the bright lights around us.
The Hawaiian and tourist fighting eyed us warily. Their 'boys' were backing away. The two idiots were still ready to brawl, if only so they wouldn't look weak.
"You touch me and I'll sue you!" the tourist yelled.
"That ain't how it works," I stepped up to him. His eyes widened as he seemed to realize I was really in front of him. Like this was all an act right up until I'd gone against the script. "You shut the fuck up, go enjoy yourself with your girl, and stop getting mad at stupid shit. I'm not your waiter. I don't care if you sue me. I'll beat you and his," I looked over at the Hawaiian guy. "Asses if you keep causing a ruckus. And that goes for everyone!" I called out, looking around. "There isn't going to be a fight today! But if you try and make one, we're joining in!"
That did it. The crowd began to disperse, though a couple of people were taking photos incessantly. I watched the tourist guy huff, glaring at me. I cocked my head to the side. He scuttled off, followed by a girl who couldn't be more impressed by him. THe Hawaiian guy disappeared as well.
And me and my Pokemon went back to work.
------
Some guy was mugging a woman in the dark. Then the dark raised it's tendrils around him.
"What the- DIOS MIO NOOOOO!"
"Mimikyu!"
The woman stared, dumbfounded, as her attacker disappeared into the shadows. I waited for a bit before a tiny Pokemon dressed like Green Lantern showed up in front of me. As did the mugger. He stared up at me while the shadows faded away.
"T-The dark place. Where the gods have long since died-" he stammered.
I rolled my eyes. "Yeah, yeah, share it with your Tumblr blog. Mimikyu?"
A wooden tail smacked him in the head with enough force to knock him into brief peaceful sleep.
"Good girl."
She bounced happily, pleased as punch at the praise. I lifted her into a hug as we moved on.
------
I was walking down an alleyway, thinking. Not to myself, but at Alakazam.
"We're doing well, I think," I panned my eyes up to look at him. The original badass Psychic was up top on the nearest roof, keeping all of us in touch through our minds. "Been taking out plenty of dummies. Who would have thought Hawaii had this much crime?"
"We are specifically hunting these criminals. My telepathy and modern communications technology in combination with Kalini's knowledge is making crime more obvious to us. Easier to find the needle in a haystack when you have a magnet."
"True. Kinda ruins Johnny Tsunami for me though."
"And not that Lilo and Stitch movie that you keep thinking about?" Alakazam thought with a chuckle.
"Can't help it," I mumbled out loud. "Mudkip is a tiny blue superstrong alien. Of course I keep remembering-"
"Hey!" I blinked, looking. Some guys were standing around a door, glaring at me. Three guys, all looking at me like I had said something about their mom. "The fuck you wan'?"
I decided to be honest. "I heard the Silicon Dragons had a small meth lab here, so I was gonna raid it and beat up the owners."
That shut down their brains for a second. They gaped at me like I'd lost my mind. Then one of them took out a gun.
"The fuck you say, fool!" gun guy said, holding his gun sideways at me.
"Wait, people still hold a gun like that? Can you even aim like that?" Man, Floyd would have laughed his ass off at this guy. Or just smirked. Maybe got annoyed and beat the shit out of him. Honestly, Floyd Lawton was a complex guy.
"Oh, you about to learn today!" I wasn't worried when he went to pull the trigger. Alakazam had my back.
What I didn't expect was the sheer cruelty of what happened next.
The guy screamed. The other two and I stared, as he staggered, gun dropping to the floor while his hands snapped down his crotch. His face slowly paled as he lifted up onto his tiptoes. Slowly, very slowly, he crouched over. And his flower print boxers were lifting out of his pants in a wedgie done by an invisible hand. He screeched as he was lifted off the ground in the atomic wedgie of the centuries, dangling for only a moment before that unseen force began to spin him around and around.
"Somebody help me for the love of God, please help me!" he cried.
"What is happening!?" one of his friends shouted, pointing his handgun unsteadily.
"It must be that guy!" the other one shouted, pointing at me very steadily with his finger. Must have been the smarter one. "He-"
I took a step forward and front-kicked him in the solar plexus with all my strength. He went backwards, tumbling on the ground to cough in pain and shock. The wedgied gangsta screamed when the invincible force tugging him got bored and decided to spin him around one last time before tossing him roughly at the last guy, the two smacking into each other with a meaty thwack before they landed in a heap on the ground.
"AHHHHHHH!" both men shouted. That invisible force seemed to grab a hold of them, pulling them along the ground as they screamed before the pair bumped into the guy I'd punched.
I stared at the trio. Then at the large object rising from the wall of the alley. It turned upside down, dropping two trash bags on the ground, it's open maw pointed downward as it floated over the gangsters. They stared up, horrified. One, the smart one, looked at me.
"It's him! He is the Devil-!"
The blue dumpster came down like the hammer of god, smashing into the ground hard enough to crack a little and embed into the asphalt slightly. Through the metal walls of their makeshift prison I could hear the three gangsters screaming and crying. As they panicked, I looked over at Alakazam, who was floating down towards me.
"I thought you-"
"I get bored too," Alakazam said blandly. "It has been sometime since I last engaged in anything that stretched my skills in the slightest."
"I can understand that," we turned to look at the door the gangsters were guarding. "...Wanna go in with me?"
"Yes, if only to see how far I can take that charade," he chuckled. "I wonder if I could convince the media you are surrounded by ghosts. What a trick that would be. And the best part is, it's partially true." He held up my phone he had been using to record the whole thing and I could feel the smirk on his face.
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The next night, we were on the scene at a construction site of a skyscraper when a section of the highest floor came apart, sending a worker falling before Mudkip managed to hit him with a blast of water strong enough to let him hit the ground with a bad bruise instead of, you know, death. While Mudkip and I got to making sure the guy was okay, ignoring his fellow coworkers staring at us, Gurdurr was staring at the building. He simply panned his eyes across it, tracing the scaffolding, ladders, bags of concrete. And then he started mumbling to himself.
He was noting violations. And the list was… well. Long. "Gurdurr, gur, gur. Gur. Gur," he was getting more and more agitated, closing his eyes to rub his clown nose. "Guuuuur. GURDURR," he turned to look at me, pointed with his I-Beam. "Gurdurr, gurdurr durru!?"
"I have no idea," I mumbled.
"Hey!?" a squirrely looking bastard came out of a trailer, looking around at all of us. "What the fuck is going on-!"
"GUUUUR!" Gurdurr took one look at the man. At the nametag on his chest declaring him a foreman, the hardhat colored differently from the others, and smashed his I-Beam into the ground. The shaking that followed brought the foreman to his knees. He stared, horrified, as Gurdurr strode over and grabbed the man by his shirt.
I rubbed my forehead as Gurdurr roared in the terrified mans face, the volume sending the foreman's hat flying off his head.
"Wha-wha-wha-" the foreman stuttered.
"GURDURR!"
"He said you fucked up, and he's going to talk to the Union. And if there isn't a union, he's making one."
"Urrr!"
"Seriously man, you have a list of violations longer than his arms. He's going to personally make sure you never endanger anyone again.
"Urr-Gurr-durr!"
"Yeah, I'm not translating that. I did not know you knew that many swear words man."
Gurdurr gave me a look of frustration before turning back to the man and growling.
"Yeah, I'm with him," I looked at the guy on the ground who was still soaking wet and hugging Mudkip with a look on his face like he was still coming to terms with his near-death experience. "Yo. Wanna press charges? Because according to Gurdurr, you can probably get a nice case against this guy."
"N-No you can't-" the squirrely guy screamed when Gurdurr roared in his face again, the Pokemon looking way more intimidating than he should have been.
"How about, while we're talking about all the ways you buy shoddy materials, thus putting the workers around at risk of injury or death to try and add some more cash to your pocket," that was a guess, but the way the guy paled even further made me smile under my mask. "Ohhh. Now that is interesting. Did you guys know about this?"
I looked around at the dozens of construction men and women around me. One of them, a woman with a name tag labeling her as an architect, was clenching her fist. A massive Hawaiian man was raising a sledgehammer in his hand. A white kid gave the skinny bastard a slow and long smile.
"And while we're at it, as we talk this out, let's have a long conversation," I kneeled down to look the guy in the eyes. "About the Silicon Dragons and the deal you made."
We were not at the construction site on a whim. No. We headed there to investigate a Silicon Dragon connection. And the pale bastard was my best suspect.
"See, this place has all the signs of the use of unfortified concrete according to Gurdurr. Higher amounts of sand and water, and a lower proportion of concrete, than regular cement. Makes the stuff weak. Makes it more likely to fall apart, get people killed. But also a way to save cash on the good stuff. It's an old mob trick. Make more profits on a build by paying for cheap materials. I doubt that was the last thing the Dragons did when they had you set up to work here. So how else were you planning to endanger everyone for some cheap cash? And can you get me to your bosses?"
I looked around. "Or I can leave you with these nice men and women around me, rather than the police."
"Please, do," the biggest person there hefted his sledgehammer. "Always wanted to take a swing at Johnny…"
"...I hate you," the sweaty foreman mumbled at me.
"I know, it gives me life."
Here's hoping the Dragons don't know what's coming.
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Author's Note: Next chapter, the war between Silicon Dragons and Pokemon Trainers gets real.
Should be fun! Can't wait to show off some weird stuff.