SPLASH, SPLASH... SPLASH, SPLASH... SPLASH, SPLASH...
Xue Three sat in a wooden barrel, rubbing and scrubbing his body.
The barrel, borrowed from the army cooks, was ordinarily used to fetch water rather than as a bathing tub. But for Xue Three's small build, it served its purpose sufficiently, even with some room to spare.
"Hey, do you think our lord and that general might have, you know, something going on?" Xue Three asked Liang Cheng, who was sitting at the other end of the tent, while he bathed.
Liang Cheng glanced at Xue Three and commented, "Even a dog's nose isn't as sharp as yours."
"Hehe, that's true. Even Siniang's Face-changing Technique can't deceive my nose."
"Including shit?"
"…" Xue Three was speechless.
AH! AHHHHHHHH!!!!
Xue Three screamed as he splashed water over his body; it was already his fifth bucket.
As an assassin, surprise attacks from behind were common. Xue Three had lost track of how many targets he had slain in such a way, but this was the first time he'd been smeared with a target's excrement.
For this reason, Xue Three could only attribute it to the excessive force he had exerted when pulling his dagger downward inside the target's body. He had intended to shred the target's internal organs, but apparently, the centrifugal force had been too great...
"This incident... must not be spoken of. Not even when we return! Don't even think about telling them!" Xue Three said to Liang Cheng, his expression quite serious.
Liang Cheng just shrugged nonchalantly.
Xue Three continued washing himself and returned to their previous topic, "Following the conventional storyline, a cross-dressing female character will most likely be taken into the protagonist's room. Initially, she might put up a front, but eventually, she will fall completely for him."
"Storyline?"
"Yeah, like Zhao Min from *The Heavenly Sword and the Dragon Slaying Saber*, right? There are countless examples like that. In reality, a woman's attraction to a man depends on his looks, personality, sincerity, financial standing, and the betrothal gifts he can offer. But in literary works, writers always manage to find reasons for countless women to fall head over heels for the protagonist."
Liang Cheng sighed, took out his waterskin, uncorked it, took a swig, and retorted, "That's just a novel."
If it hadn't been inconvenient for him to go outside at that moment, Liang Cheng, with his temperament, certainly wouldn't have chosen to sit there watching the dwarf strip and bathe while chatting with him.
"Listen, you Zombie, don't forget where we came from!" Xue Three admonished.
At this, Liang Cheng frowned slightly. There were things he could accept, yet acceptance did not necessarily equate to understanding.
"To others, it might be just a comic, but for us, it's our life."
"Ha, I don't have time to ponder philosophy. To be honest, I have some regrets. When our lord went out earlier, I only managed to quickly inform him that the general in red armor was a woman. I didn't have time to give him any specific instructions."
"Instructions for what?"
"Instructions like, if he reaches her command tent, regardless of whether there are guards at the entrance, if they tell him to wait to be announced, he must not wait. He must barge right in!"
"Why?"
"Because the general will most likely be taking a bath! If our lord bursts in by chance, he'll see her completely naked. Then, the female general will be both embarrassed and angry. She might order our lord to be punished, but as the first man other than her father to see her naked, he'll definitely leave a deep impression on her, and then…"
"And then she'll have our lord dragged out and beheaded. Our lord dies."
"Hmm…"
Xue Three scratched his head in frustration, lamenting, "You're really cynical."
"You're just being unrealistic."
"Life is always more artistic than art itself. Think about it! This is the first noteworthy female character our lord has encountered in this world since he woke up. If nothing happens, no sparks fly, no foreshadowing is laid, it just doesn't feel right, does it?"
Liang Cheng didn't want to talk anymore. He felt that not only was this dwarf's physical development stunted, but his mind might also have been affected.
Maybe that's just how people like Qin Siyu are. Because of their short stature and poor health, they tend to be homebodies, their minds filled with fantasies. And these personality traits and habits were fully inherited by Xue Three, the character Qin Siyu created.
"Think about it. That woman, able to disguise herself as a man and command an army—her status must be high. If our lord really wins her over, it would be a huge help to us. It's like someone offering venture capital during our startup phase, and they're practically using unwritten rules to make you accept it. If it works out, the most we'd lose is, at worst, a bit of our lord's 'future generations.'"
"She's not worthy."
"Hmm, don't say that. Our lord is quite outstanding."
"I'm saying that woman, she, is not worthy of our lord."
Xue Three frowned slightly, his arms resting on the rim of the wooden barrel. He looked at Liang Cheng. "Damn, you're shamelessly sucking up now, aren't you?"
"With us by his side, our lord can marry the finest woman in this world."
Xue Three was taken aback by those words, blinking his eyes. He could not refute the statement; in fact, he even agreed with it. However, after a brief silence, he finally asked, "But right now, we're still very weak. Those Barbarians aren't much. In a one-on-one fight, even those glowing ones, we can kill them with our skills and experience. Ordinary soldiers, if they come one by one, it's suicide for them. Five or six at once would just take a bit more effort. But what if there are twenty, fifty, or a hundred? You've seen those Yan State cavalry too. Imagine if we were on an open plain, with no terrain to use to our advantage. If fifty cavalrymen charged you in formations, wave after wave, even you, a Zombie, how many rounds could you withstand?"
Liang Cheng glanced at the wound on his left arm. "We've only recovered a little."
Compared to each person's peak, their true strength, what they had all recovered so far was truly just the tip of the iceberg.
"Who knows how we can recover more? If we really recovered more, it wouldn't be our lord going to see that woman. We'd have gone straight into her army, kidnapped her, and delivered her to our lord's bed!"
"Don't tell me you haven't noticed."
"Noticed what?" Xue Three asked curiously.
"My lord's strength," Liang Cheng replied.
The image of the Barbarian cavalryman killed by My lord flashed through Xue Three's mind.
"You mean, how much of our strength we can recover, whether we can recover further, all hinges on My lord?"
"All I know is that we were just ordinary people before My lord woke up."
"Ha! And My lord only woke up a short while ago. His strength is already comparable to a regularly trained adult man. During the march earlier, I really thought My lord wouldn't be able to hold on, but he did."
"Perhaps My lord himself hasn't truly realized it yet. That is... those who are progressing... it might not be just us."
Zheng Fan arrived outside the military tent. Not many soldiers were on guard, only the old man with the sword, still standing at the entrance. Zheng Fan wasn't made to wait. As soon as he approached, the old man lifted the tent flap, indicating he could enter.
Inside, Zheng Fan recalled what Xue Three had told him: this general was a woman in disguise. And she wasn't bathing. She still wore her striking red armor and was kneeling behind a low table, flipping through some letters. An air of valor emanated from her.
After Zheng Fan entered, he hesitated for a moment, then knelt on one knee.
"Greetings, General."
He refrained from calling himself "your humble general" this time.
The general tossed the letters in her hand onto the low table and regarded Zheng Fan, who knelt below her, with keen interest.
"You made significant contributions this time. I intend to reward you."
Zheng Fan didn't say a word, just looked up at her.
He paid particular attention to her Adam's apple, but her armor obscured it, so he couldn't see clearly. Moreover, because of the armor, he had no idea what this woman's figure was like. After all, armor's shaping effect was far superior to any bra. Zheng Fan didn't know why such thoughts were running through his mind. Perhaps he was a bit nervous and subconsciously trying to distract himself. Men have two brains, both resembling walnuts. Usually, when one is active, the other tends to become sluggish.
The General, too, seemed a bit awkward. After all, superiors were accustomed to it: when they announced a reward, those below would express their loyalty, proclaiming their devotion to their leader and that they sought nothing else. Of course, such words weren't meant to be taken literally, but everyone seemed to follow this script. But now, this man kneeling before her seemed to have no intention of playing his part in her script.
A smile touched the corners of the general's lips, and she said, "There are two rewards for you to choose from. First, join my personal guard and become a retainer of the Li family. In a couple of years, whether you are assigned a post elsewhere or continue to serve the main family, your path will be much broader. The second option... you're from Hutou City, aren't you?"
"Yes."
"The Ministry of War and the Ministry of Revenue issued an edict a few days ago. Due to the increasing harassment of merchant caravans by bandits in recent years, various fortress cities are now required to form their own trade protection teams. However, the ministries haven't allocated any funds or armaments. They're only authorizing an establishment of three hundred men. As for everything else, each locality must sort it out themselves. So, this second reward is the post of Protector of Commerce Captain for the Hutou City region."
Saying this, the general herself seemed to find it difficult to continue. She paused, then added, "Actually, never mind. After the army moves out tomorrow, just come back with me to the Li family estate. Your future prospects won't be..."
"I choose the second one!" Zheng Fan immediately looked up and declared.
The general's words faltered. She seemed to be in disbelief and asked again, "You choose... which one?"
Without hesitation, Zheng Fan repeated, "The second one."
He'd rather be a chicken's head than a phoenix's tail. In Hutou City, at least he had seven Demon Kings under him, who addressed him as 'My lord' all day with such dramatic fervor. Why on earth would he be mad enough to go and be a retainer in her household? Most importantly, Zheng Fan knew his own limits. His merit this time was largely due to being in the right place at the right time; Liang Cheng had essentially gifted him the credit for that kill. If he really left his subordinates and ventured out alone, Zheng Fan figured he wouldn't even know how he died.
"You... won't regret this?"
Zheng Fan took a deep breath, shook his head firmly, and said, "No regrets."
"Can you tell me why? Is being a retainer for the Li family so beneath you?"
Zheng Fan replied immediately, "Hutou City is my home. I can't bear to leave it."