Regrets? I guess I have more than enough. If I had to choose, I wish I took hold of my own life.
It wasn't taken from me, I simply let go.
Life comes and it can slip between ones fingers easily, If they weren't careful.
I also don't believe any sane person could look death in the eyes without hesitation, regret or even a hint of despair. That's why I never even thought about taking my own life yet because what then?
If it could only be as simple as letting things go.
A devouring darkness, the inevitable nothingness at the end of a never ending fall. Once you arrive at the black sky, that's it. You see nothing, you feel nothing… you are… nothing.
Thoughts piled into my mind, unaware of where I was or what was occurring around me. I didn't feel lifeless, yet my body didn't answer me.
Soon enough, a light showed and I swam up this darkness which sounded like metal grinding together, or being cut like string.
The darkness was pushed away by this welcoming sky so I reached out to it, maybe a last grasp to hope? Or is it just better than being in what I was in before? I knew for a fact I can't let another opportunity pass me by while I just lie in wait for things to slip away from me.
I open my eyes and color starts to peer in where the lack thereof was present… or did it?
As a momentary reaction I sit up to slam headfirst into a rock-like structure above me. Actually, it seemed like I was encased in this structure. I felt my surroundings to understand the situation I was in. The top part in front of my face gave way a little and with more force, it lifted up. It was heavy, I felt like I was using all my energy to move it a few inches up. I push it off using the minute amount of energy I had in me.
Upon sitting up, light filled the space. It wasn't my room, but a tomb of sorts. Torches lined the walls circling around the case I was in. In a split moment, a strong breeze flew in the room rendering a chilling feeling all over me. I was completely bare.
What was even more strange was my lack of muscle mass. My character should be a bit bigger than this one.
〈Seems like my character got smaller.〉
Ignoring my immediate circumstance, I head towards the direction of the breeze passing by a lectern with a rag on top. It was a neatly folded pair of pants that had a scarf around it like a belt, it also had a pair of gloves next to it. It had an air of professionalism but with the mind I'd be fighting in such clothing. It looked eerily similar to something my character previously wore.
In fact it looked like what those cultivation manhwa main characters always wear. It wasn't as elegant as the masters', but it looked comfortable to wear.
After putting the pants on, I headed upstairs.
Once I reached the top, the breeze felt even stronger here. I gazed around trying to gain my bearings, but there was not a single thing to give me any detail on location. I should have reincarnated to a respawn temple near my point of death however it seems like it sent me far away.
The ominous issue is that there was nowhere on the continent that I had no knowledge of. In fact, I knew every region in "Return To Magic". It was a hot selling VRMMO that came out in 2036. Everyone was blown away by its realism and the freedom that came with it. It opened the doors to many people, including me. I invested the rest of my life into the game after my retirement. It was mainly to cope with all the stress and grief from before, but it turned into a lifestyle for me.
I took the job of streaming it. It was in such a popular demand that I would become one of the top streamers on the platform. A chance like that doesn't come too often. I never really showed my face and my character looked nothing like me since those who knew me probably wouldn't give things up from past complications.
I played the game day in and day out. Streamed and made videos. I did all of it within the game. To me it was an escape from reality. The cruel wasteland of a modern society that betrays you but that's a story for another time.
What I was looking at now was different. A huge jungle with the trees towering the temple I am in. It wasn't dark either, which was strange because there looked to be a ceiling above the jungle, but hanging vegetation, like fruits, glowed brightly and gave light to the ground below.
I need to grasp my surroundings. Until I do that, I'm just walking into the unknown unprepared.
As I moved down the outside stairs of the temple, I slipped on a loose stone. I managed to catch myself and fell back.
"Ouch!" The pain rushed through my spine striking my nerves with a terrible feeling.
…
That's strange. I shouldn't be feeling this level of pain. Normally you would only feel the sensation of being interacted with however I felt the pain like I would in real life. Maybe they upped the sensitivity or my settings changed randomly?
I didn't think much of it and carried on into the new biome.
I was walking for almost an hour before my stomach rang its alarm to tell me I'm in need of food. Not much progress was made, but when nature calls one has to answer!
I attempted to open the settings panel, "Options!"
〈Options!〉
I instead tried thinking of the command.
Again, something strange. Everything menu related was voice command yet it wasn't responding to me at all.
"Settings! Inventory! Bag! Administrator!" I tried a few other words on the off chance they changed it but nothing.
"Log out!"
…
A wave of anxiety flowed through me. My heart raced.
The only thought that triggered this lack of ability to move was the idea of being trapped here. I've read novels and comics like this, but the idea of it actually turning into reality struck me regardless.
That is, to be stuck inside of a game.
〈Maybe there was an update I was unaware of, adding more realism like pain or the sense of touch, but then what about the menu?〉
Although it's wishful thinking, rather believe in something outlandish than a game becoming reality.
Breathing in and out, trying to imagine better things, like those funny YouTube videos I've watched since I was young, or weird ones to get my mind somewhere else.
I began to calm down slightly. I can't let myself be distracted with emotions like this when I am completely uncertain of what's happening.
I needed to understand my situation more.
My empty belly however had other plans. It was painful. The more I searched for something to eat, the more my hunger pains grew. Not only that, but the eerie set I was in made my heart race.
Everywhere were trees and noises of animals that I haven't heard of or have seen.
After hours of pushing past trees and bushes, the sun started to set. I looked up to gather an idea of what time it was, but I saw no sun in the sky. In fact, I don't think I was looking at a sky to begin with.
Above me was a dark cascading night sky, but hanging from it were tiny star like light sources. The weirder thing was that it didn't seem like those were actual stars, or that it was a sky at all.
I saw hanging fruit from the taller jungle trees, they glowed brightly, so bright, that it looked like a setting sun. It was hard to spot them due to the foliage, but I was able to see them after some investigating.
〈Looks like it's simulating day and night. I'll need to find shelter soon.〉
I was never a survivalist kind of guy, although I did see some of those types of videos on my feed when scrolling social media which I rarely used as well.
If I knew I'd be in such a situation, I probably would have tried to look more into those types of content. All I could do now though, was try to find some place to sleep, and something to eat.
Another couple hours went by, it was dark, and currently I was stalking a rabbit. I was able to sneak up to it slowly after failing multiple times in the past half an hour, but this time I feel like I could do it.
I stepped carefully, making sure I saw where I was stepping to avoid any branches that could make noise.
A step at a time.
...
Once I saw a potential to leap in, I jumped towards the animal with my full force leap.
It seemingly sensed be before I even leapt, jumped away at the same time. It felt like slow motion where I saw this rabbit dodge out of the way of my grapple however this time, I had a backup.
I grabbed a stick I had in the back of my pants and swung it at the rabbit. There was a broken piece on the side of the branch that I made a pointed edge on, and it connected right in the thigh of the rabbit. I saw it sink it a bit and the rabbit twisted in mid air, slamming itself onto a tree.
"HAHAH YEA-" My face planted also into the same tree as my neck bent a bit oddly there.
Thunk!
Thankfully, I didn't pass out, but my neck was in a bit of pain after that.
〈Feels like if I slept on my bed wrong. Ow!〉
Then I snapped my head towards where I hit the rabbit, remembering my mission. It was gone.
Yet, the smell of iron was emanating from the spot. It was leaving a blood trail.
I followed this trail simply by smell, since it was too dark to tell where the blood was. In fact, it was strange I was able to see clearly in the dark.
〈Must be my racial passive of darkvision. Glad I chose this species!〉
Eventually, I found the rabbit laying in a small clearing of dirt. Nothing around, just the dying animal.
〈Damn, now I feel a bit bad about this, but I'm so hungry right now!〉
I grabbed the rabbit, and when looking away, snapped it's neck. I've done it now.
While in this clearing, I decided to try to set up a fire. Keyword: tried.
I was unsuccessful in doing so.
My stomach growled again, it was too painful to bare. I looked at this rabbit, and the smell of it was too delicious to wait anymore.
〈Delicious? Am I really thinking raw meat smells delicious? Well, I haven't eaten in nearly a half of a day, so I guess.〉
I sunk my teeth into the rabbit's leg, catching all the fur with it. The fur made things terribly hard to eat, but I couldn't beg for anything else.
I ripped the skin with my teeth and eventually ate the rabbit to the bone. It was enough to stop the pains mostly, but now I feel disgusted in myself.
Never in real life did I ever consume an animal straight from being alive. Then I just thought of something.
〈How am I hungry? I didn't even try to question that? This goes beyond just an update for feeling like real life. Don't tell me... Am I?〉
A howl was heard in the distance. It was fully night time.
The trees provided excellent cover, but there was no way to dig a burrow this late at night. So I went over to a bush, and bent the branches away, allowing me to make a pseudo doorway into my bush home.
I huddled myself into a ball to try to keep warm, but it was terrible cold out. With my nerves and the wind keeping me from falling asleep quickly, I eventually passed out.
Morning arrived quicker than I excepted.
Again, I was hungry and even now thirsty. My lips dry and chapped.
The first order of business was to find water. Perhaps there was a stream nearby
I ran through the jungle, trying to avoid any places of movement, since I couldn't tell what would be lurking nearby. My pace and ability to navigate, almost like it felt naturally so, was able to lead me to the sound of water.
The sound of water running downhill was faint, but it was enough to where my ears could pick it up.
I followed the sound until I came to a small stream that ran down. It looked like a tiny rapids.
I spared not time and cupped water into my hand to drink up. I then splashed water on my face and stared into the stream.
My character really became younger. It was as if I became a teenager now. This was an odd feeling, considering I thought I'd resurrect looking like my adult form.
〈I look like I'm seventeen about to be eighteen. Also, damn I look good. Never thought I'd spend this much time looking at myself.〉
This isn't to say my body in real life wasn't handsome, but I could understand I wasn't model type, that's why seeing myself like my character, someone who I crafted to be looking like a stud, was so off-putting. However, If I was to be stuck in any body, I was glad it was this one.
Once I was done washing myself, I set out to find some more food. This went on for a few days.
My body was aching with fatigue and hunger. It was like all the animals were avoiding this place of the jungle.
〈Maybe they communicated that I, a predator, was around. This sucks!〉
I slowly made my way towards a single direction, trying to keep a certain tree that I marked with an X using a rock, in order to keep the path to the stream remembered.
Then a smell hit me.
It pierced my nose as to cry out its whereabouts. I quickly shuffled my way to its direction. A light shown around a massive trunk where the smell arose from.
I silently crept around it to check on what was on the other side. As I peered around my cover, a campfire and a pot showed itself. Enticing as it was, I wasn't desperate enough to jump to the occasion. I kept moving ever so slightly to look as to who or what was cooking.
In my surprise a scaled tail emerged and as I moved, more from the body of a lizard was uncovered.
"I can smell ya, stop yer hidin'." A grainy low murmur crawled out to me. It was obvious I couldn't stay hiding so I stepped out from behind the tree and slowly made my way to him.
"I don't see yer kind 'round here much. Why ya out here?" His mannerism and accent were heavy. Sounded like a western cowboy in those old pre-2000 films.
"W-well, I guess you could say I'm a bit lost." I wasn't nervous, more so cautious. Lizardmen aren't the easiest to deal with especially if they are from aggressive tribes.
"Where'd ya come from?"
I pointed back towards where I came from, "There's a temple an hour that way." It's hard to see much as I went pretty deep into the jungle.
"That so?" His tail went from his side to behind him. It pointed slightly up. "Sit. Ya look like yer dying to eat." He points to the pot.
"Are you sure? It's strange to let some random person come and take what you're eating isn't it?"
"Do you wanna starve?"
…
"Fair enough."
I walked around to the other side of the fire and sat in the grass. Now that I'm in front of him, I can see more of what he looked like. He was a hulking mass, nearly twice my size. His underbelly was a lighter shade of his back green scales. A face that resembles prehistoric creatures more than any modern lizard I know. He had a multitude of scars on the front of his body; on top of his right eye, scattered on his arms but the most notable was the gash in a bite mark on the top right of his torso and the bottom left. It was like a massive gator grabbed him there. He was mostly armored in leather sporting a spiked shell as a shield and a tribalist spear that sat beside him.
Amidst him cooking, he was also using a knife to tan this hide of a creature he had. He also got some string to put through holes in order to tighten it up. I didn't think of asking about it, since it seemed he was doing this as a hobby.
"Yer a strange one." He looks me up and down cutting the silence. "A mutt like ya tends to be more aggressive an' hasty. I smell the Lycan in you."
"A coincidence. I doubt that lizards have much utility for smell."
"Out here, all ya senses are needed." He snapped back at my rebuttal.
Of course, the two of us share no qualities. He's a hulking lizard while I'm… well something else. Seeing us two with each other would be like seeing a snake roam with spiders. It's unheard of.
However, I'm not one to judge who feeds me. I dug into a bowl of whatever was in the pot. It was gamey and tough.
"So, what got you coming around here?" I tried making small talk to fill the air.
He grumbles in an almost hesitant fashion, "It's a long story."
"Well, I won't be leaving anytime soon and the silence bothers me."
He chuckled at those words. "I guess I could speak on my travels. It started 'bout ten years ago. I was on my own at the time an' needed to figure out how to survive. The obvious path was adventuring. It was a free life filled with lots of action. I could also make it my reason behind my travels. The only issue is that the world don't treat my kind well. Lizard folk have tendencies to go wild, like the monster blood inside em rages out. Same with yer people too. Most places have their eyes on us in fear or prejudice. Well it's not like I can blame em. If a race tends to let their animal side out, how can ye view them as more than that? However, there weren't much choices to pick. I began adventuring an' traveling the world. My goal was to better myself an' my people's name. It might be hard, but I can't let my folk have the scorn of the majority on them. I heard of rumors about this place, so I came to find out what was really going on. Now I'm here." He finished his bowl. Once his face showed itself breaking away from the dish, the emotion seemed to overcome him. Even for a lizardman whose emotions are hard to wear, you could tell he was deep in thought of something.
"Seems like you've had it rough huh?" A part of me understood the mood. It was the face of a man who lost it all. What it was that was lost is bugging my curiosity however the full stomach orders me not to speak. Some people just don't need things brought back up.
I finished my meal then I sat there sort of awkwardly. The thought of being here much longer didn't seem to click with me. I didn't want to intrude on his travels, plus it sounded like he had other plans.
"So... Do you know the best way to leave this place?"
He looked me up and down then chuckled. "By the sound of it, ya don't got the means of gettin' out. So if I were ya, I'd lay low for a bit, start figurin' out how to survive." This seemed to strike me as more of a dismissal than advice. I couldn't understand why he'd speak like that just then.
〈What did he mean I don't have the means getting out?〉
Confusion set in. "Care to elaborate?"
"What?" A dumbfounded expression seemingly on his face.
"Um... like, explain it deeper. Why don't I have the means to get out?"
"Ya can't fly."
〈What the f-〉
I looked over his body. "I don't see wings on you either man!"
A hearty laugh erupted from his mouth, his whole body was laughing. "I didn't need it, but you would."
"Why are wings necessary?"
"Yer gonna find it our soon."
He was being completely weird about this and secretive for no reason.
〈Whatever, I'll have to just find out myself.〉
I sat there for a bit, really just wondering what my next steps should be until he stood up and stomped the fire out. He was getting ready to leave it seems, stuffing the hide he was working on, into a bag.
I did the same.
He turned to me with a side eye. "Whelp, it was nice seein' a new face 'round here, but I gotta get goin' now."
"What do you mean? Can't we stick together."
"No, not with me kid." He snapped coldly.
〈Can't trust me? Or is he a solo-player?〉
"I mean, two is better than one."
"Not where I'm goin'. Really kid, we go separate ways now."
Just before I was about to start walking, "Here" I stopped before moving another centimeter. "There is a creature in these parts of the jungle. A big, hulking beast with sharp, dagger-like claws an' more dexterity than a rabbit." He threw the bag with a spear in it. It landed right between my legs. "Ya need something to protect yerself. Use it wisely."
The bag had the spear, a pouch for water and his makeshift shirt. Just before I leave camp, "I never caught your name. What is it?"
"Rak!" He says.
"Nice to meet you. The name's King by the way." With that, Rak disappeared into the bushes, out of sight.
I told him my characters name instead of my given birth name. It felt more natural this way, especially since I want to believe that this place was the same game I remember. Considering different region and animals appearing, I couldn't be certain, but it gave me a little hope.
"King" was a name I thought of since that was the ambition I wanted when this was just that, a game. As I walked through the woods, I reminisced about the life I led before. The grief, the anger, the depression. Everything came to me in a wave after meeting Rak. I hope this is the game I used to play. My character seems to look the way I left him, however he looked a little younger.
When this was the game Return to Magic, or RTM for short, it was a game promoting complete freedom in what one could do inside. Cliche isn't it? That's what all game developers strived for, yet one company succeeded decades and decades after the thought arose. The question was, How?
How could such amazing ideas be brought into reality? Well the first step was VR. VR allowed freedom that doesn't normally come with pre-programmed movements. Instead of pressing a button to input an action, you could simply move your hand to do the desired action. More studies piled on top of VR trying to uncover the possibilities from it. Then one day, a company who partnered with the leading developing VR headset's backer, Occult, made it possible.
The tech was never released but was patented multiple times over in fear of it being stolen. Yet the tech itself was sealed tight, not even the best hackers knew how to reveal how it was made. They swept the competition and produced a game unlike any before it, an MMORPG that promised freedom to no extent, a completely player driven community and an unlimited amount of possible choices your character can make and become.
If someone wanted to be a demon lord, they could. King? They could. Bandit? They could. It was endless. All of that wrapped in a medieval fantasy game that brought swords and magic to life. It was a massively successful game. I played it regularly after all the issues that happen to me. In fact, it was the only game or thing I even did. It changed my life around.
My ideal goal in the game was to be a king to the biggest castle and city in the game and build it from nothing. I had the castle already made yet couldn't get the city even started before the guild war that ended my character's life. It was a hardcore game that involved perma-death. Most people drew back from that being the case, however what got them back was the ability to gain scrolls of resurrection. These scrolls would make your characters base stats more than the previous incarnation of your character. Meaning once you go through the horrible experience of finding the materials, you could limitlessly grow a character farther and farther.
Of course there were more revive options, but those options would negatively impact your character after being revived that could make it very difficult for weeks to even months to get back to where you were.
Everyone knew of only that method, but it seems that my second life proved that the secret method worked.
I don't blame anyone for not knowing, since the only way you could know is if you read books in game. There was one book I found that contained information on mythical creatures. Each of them had a type of immortality that was unique to themselves. There was one in particular that seemed to stand out from the rest, the Phoenix.
Coined for its ability to rebirth itself, I wondered what would happen if I were to absorb phoenix. I would have to try different methods in order to know, but there were plenty of ways to find out. I ended up with the route to eat the phoenix's heart. The core of a phoenix which is the foundation for their reincarnation.
The book stated it contained all the biological information of the phoenix. Like DNA in a nutshell.
It worked, of course, but I don't feel like the heart was consumed. I can feel myself having two hearts. It was a weird feeling, but I'm sure nothing bad can happen from having two hearts.
A few days passed since I encountered Rak. Things went a bit more smooth after that, I didn't struggle as much, and finally had some warm clothing after a while. It seemed that there were tons of creatures far from where Rak set up camp.
It was crazy, like there was an area designated for plants and bugs and the occasional small animal that could give less care about where it's at.
During the time I was surviving, I tried feeling for magic, cause of course I should still have magic.
It was a strange feeling, like I was lost in an empty expanse of water. I couldn't grasp any particular feeling, so I scrapped the idea.
I was hoping that if I could access my spell list, then maybe I could start using it to hunt and help my daily life out, but that seems to be farfetched at this point.
There was always a sense that I could use magic, but it felt too distant.
〈Perhaps there are certain mechanics I need to abide by〉
After a while of contemplating, I come up upon the edge of the land.
〈Edge?〉
Confusing as it looks, this edge was more like a sudden drop. Across from me was a gigantic Tree whose leaves seem to hold massive landmass on them. Each leaf was like an island on its own and there were countless of them.
I couldn't even understand the dynamic of this environment. In fact when I looked down, the tree tops just stopped. Wait… Tree tops?
Looking up and down to get a lay of the land, I saw the leaf above me. It was pitch black with only spots of light like stars, which I already saw prior, and everywhere that doesn't have those fruits that light up are darkened.
At this point, I have no idea what I'm supposed to do.
Then a strange feeling hit me. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up, like a cat when it felt threatened. I looked around and focused on the surrounding sounds.
The noise of wind and rustling of leaves could be heard, then a scratching noise, like steel on rock.
I ducked down out of instinct. Above my head, a massive claw swiped. It would've sliced my head if I hadn't moved. I rolled back away from what attacked me.
When I looked up and it stared back at me I could tell. I just seemingly went through a death like experience, so I didn't wish to redo such a feeling. What was in front of me was something that caused memories from Rak to appear. A massive creature that held onto the edge of the ground as it peers at me. We locked eyes and my body froze up, unable to do anything.
〈Damn, I'm really going to die again huh?〉