The room smell of ash and smoke, for that is what her mind has imprinted her to remember the dire sense of helplessness that fell on her young shoulders at the time, she was push and pull and beating and front of many soldier dress in black.
I can only remember bits in pieces and remembering my mother crying as they tore her clothes and began to play with her in mean ways.
At that time I did not know what happen, I was so young only seven years old. I try to stop them but the kept kicking me on the floor and spitting on me, but I never gave up until laughter met my face with back of pistol. Knocking me daze to finally see the ending of my mother. So, golden blond in her nature, tears poured as she looked at me as later I heard two shot go off, destroy her once beautiful face.
I thought it was over, but they began to piss on her, but I couldn't reach no more, suddenly a big man; tan in nature dress and military step in with a big gun, unloaded all over the room. The five dark figures fell wasted to the bloody ground. The man look at me, and all can remember was his sad eyes, as he stated.
"I was not fast enough!"
He surveillance the room and with a cat like movement, this room of ours was all we had four tin walls that never made any sense to bring justice here, we were the maggots of the earth the curse of all who look down on us. He look at the dead bodies all cover in bullet whole, and he found a tarp and cover the young lady, the broken angel torn from the sky to live her last day in torture.
My mouth tasted of metal and I began to drag myself closer to my mother right hand who stuck out, I touch her still warm hand and I missed her touch. The touch of a mother that made me go to sleep in my sickness, I dragged my broken body to lie next to her. The man stood above me, as if not there and he stare with sad eyes, as one single tear roll out of his right eye.
"There is no first place trophy in war..." He stated looking away in to the tin wall as he place his big mix hand against the old tin structure as if feeling the pulse.
"Let us go, for we do not know who else is near!"
I began to scream and cry, shaking my head in furry. Rage engulf my heart, not having strength to make the difference.
The man suddenly cover my mouth and said to my right ear;
"Beat them in their own game, for a real warrior will always face demons and death; but a heroes calling is what she or he does with time that is given."
He pulled me into the light and out of the darkness of the hell, he showed me the door of light my beginning and I walk through it.
* * *
The late Miami morning, and the air was hot once again, and I always dreamed the same man over and over at night, nightmare mix with a blessing, I laid in my white tank top and I held on to the only thing I have from that man,... His dog tags, which only read stealth in weird brail.
"When you ever need me just look up and I be there."
It sound so weird to hear that from a person that was alive, a riddle that didn't make sense..
She woke up and stood in front of the mirror with her fit body and scars of her early child hood. Out of refugee camps and in and out group homes to finally have a stable apartment, and a major as graphic designer, but it all seem so unreal that her life was not align with her way. She look at The Bible that cast light from the reflection of her big studio window.
Her blond hair hang low, as her green eyes kept looking at the mirror as if to find her real self in there, what was her way, she read every book she can get her hand on but at the same time felt so lost. Lost in a endless loop, she just wish that the soldier, that angel would comeback into her life and pull her away from darkness, every night came with dreams and death of her own country in the middle east, she was so tired and only twenty-three she felt that peace can not be achieve and that it was a made up word of no word. A word that politician frame for false hope, after this she felt low and depress.
She put on her Adidas shorts and walked out the apartment and look for something the middle of the day to eat, right on South Beach, she love it because she faded away in the back drop. Even in hot weather she had a small black hoddie, she began to walk the side street on the next to the right side of beach, she saw a Ice Cream truck on the curb that seem so out place, license plates outstates as kids began move towards the man, giving Ice Cream away. She saw two African American kids pass her and something in her jumped and grab the two.
They began to scream and it echo load on the beach, as the mother began to chew me out to let go of her sons, I still held tight. No idea as my face fixed on the Ice Cream trunk surround by about a fifteen kids, the mother grab my shoulder.
"Hey get your... "
I couldn't remember anything but me flying into the mother with her child, ears were ringing, and could barely hear anything only cry and sight of madness as all the kids gone into body parts all over, I got up and look as the whole left side of buildings were on fire on the strip...
And the little kids laughter of joy was no more....