"You'll regret this boy."
"True that." Nicholas spoke with a pop, sitting on the beach in nothing but cotton shorts and a tropical shirt with weed patterns all over it.
Oh and, sunglasses.
You couldn't have a day at the beach without those after all.
Before you ask, he'd shoved the stuff inside his manny pack.
Suck on that Olga, forcin... er, asking Gudako to learn how to go about making DIY beach chairs had clearly been a great decision that reflected his amazing foresight as a mature adult.
Now if only he could get his hands on that pocket space Lev used to have.
It was a damn inventory was what it was, even if the stingy fucker tried to make it sound like it was complicated and sophisticated or whatever.
"You may humiliate us now but once news of this reaches King Phillip." The captured Spaniard spoke indignantly, red faced.
Nicholas glanced over at the older man, raising his glasses, "Womp womp man, get over it. Y'all done lost. Cope." He then proceeded to hold up a hand, "Hey Artoria, how are the coconuts coming along?"
"Very good, Master. I'll have enough for everyone." The Altered Saber answered from under a tree a bit to the side, splitting coconuts for everyone, "And then I'll trade it for their goods... because nothing in life is free."
"How come you have a swimsuit but I don't?" Gudako asked curiously, staring at Artoria whose lips curved slightly in a smug smile.
"You lack faith in Master. If he says there's a beach. There's going to be a beach." The Tyrant spoke with her arms crossed under her nonexistent chest.
You see she'd just ripped her normal clothes off as soon as Nicholas announced his intentions for a beach day to reveal a frilly black swimsuit that stood out starkly on her pale skin.
"Yeah, true." Gudako accepted the answer with a defeated sigh.
All she needed to kill the last bit of common sense left in her and stab the corpse... She'd have so much fun if she did.
Chaldea's last master stared over at Altera who was making laps on the beach, noting how her toes sunk into the wet sand with childlike curiosity, "And I guess she has no problems."
Nicholas caught her words and chortled, "Yeah she kinda wears a bikini 24/7."
Well, calling her clothes a bikini would be an insult to all bikinis with how little they covered.
"I'm talking about sunscre-..." She was cut off by Nicholas throwing a bottle of sunscreen in her face, "You're incorrigible."
"Speak English." Nicholas went back to staring at the vast seas.
"...It's not that uncommon a word, you goblin."
"See funny you should say that... cause I found a cave. And you know how goblins be sooo... I'd be careful if I were you." Nicholas shrugged again, picking up his glass of coconut juice while observing the Sun with a fond expression.
Yes, observing the Sun.
He definitely wasn't looking at Carmilla's attempts to throttle Anne Bonny after the latter pointed out that she was basically future Elizabeth when Carmilla tried to strangle the pink haired dragon.
"You realise those glasses are see-through?" Gudako pointed out with a deadpan, plopping down on the sand next to her fellow master and... regrettably, friend.
"Mhm."
"And he's not even listening anymore..." Gudako sighed before narrowing her eyes, "I'll tell Martha?"
"What? What about? I'm not looking at Anne and Carmilla."
"I didn't say you wer..." Gudako trailed off, following his gaze to realise... that he'd been staring at Elizabeth and Mash playing beach volleyball with a blow up ball...
Her face scrunched up, "That's even worse."
"Hey, last I checked, there's two restraining orders and a ban on visiting kindergartens between the two of us and my record is clean."
"Wha? No. Now you're just lying to make me look bad."
"Hey, I didn't take no names." Nicholas shrugged his hands, sipping on his juice, "I'm just looking at how adorable it is."
"...Nicholas, you do remember that you're not that much older than them right?"
Because everybody else sure did.
He was like a kid on copious amounts of sugar in the system most of the time.
"I mean... is it bad that I kind of see a bunch of them like kids?" Nicholas asked curiously, turning to look at her with eyes that seemed to shine through his sunglasses.
In the face of that, Gudako threw her hands up in surrender, "No, it's good. It's great actually. Things could've been way worse."
One had to consider that she was Japanese and they were a special sort of degenerate... so she was probably relieved that he saw the more 'gullible' servants as children instead of er... what some of her fellow... countrymen would see them as.
Their little 'talk' was interrupted by a barrage of cannon fire.
Nicholas sat up with a small sigh, "I was wondering how long they was gonna get along for."
"That didn't come from the sea." Gudako pointed out, disconcerted with how the servants barely even registered the loud noise and were just goofing off like usual, "It's coming from... behind us?"
She turned around to stare at the small patch of forest behind them.
"They must be fighting over the loot, I guess. Come on." Nicholas downed his glass in one go and took off walking towards the source of the insane noise.
Since the Chaldeans weren't particularly interested in looting the coffers of the Spanish Armada, the two pirate crews were left to divvy up the plunder amongst themselves.
It'd be understandable if they fought.
"Hah, curs. I knew they couldn't hold it together for long."
-
Nicholas and Gudako arrived to a somewhat unexpected scene.
The two crews weren't fighting amongst themselves at all... no, they were trying to shoot the strange brown haired Lancer servant who was... hiding behind Blackbeard with an iron spear lodged through the man's heart.
Which... wasn't really all that much of a shocker when he considered that servants were technically dead anyway and you could just summon them back.
And it was hard to be angry when the motherfucker Blackbeard was cackling with a spear through his heart.
"Why would you stab him in the back?" Nicholas asked neutrally as the pirates near him shuffled to make way, "...We trusted you."
"Uh yeah, sure." The Lancer scratched the back of his head, chuckling at the seething Francis Drake before turning to stare at Nicholas, "Do you even remember my name?"
"...I wanna say Eduardo but you look more like a Miguel? Sooo... how could you betray us, Alejandro?!"
"...That's... That's..." The Lancer put a hand over his mouth, his usually droopy eyes wide.
"Damn. Did I get it right?" Nicholas was understandably proud of himself.
"That's wrong on so many levels I can't even... Whatever, I guess."
"It ain't my fault you got the most mobbest mob to ever mob."
The Lancer looked like he wanted to kill himself but against his better judgement, "What's that even mean?"
He asked for an explanation.
"Dude, come on. Brown hair, brown eyes, a spear and lazy... That's not even side character level traits there. Background npc looking motherfu-" Nicholas cut himself on purpose, speaking with so much confidence he had some of the pirates reconsidering their lives, "This 'betrayal' probably the highlight of your whole life."
"I'll say, the boy has a way of making the situation seem kind of numb." Francis sat down and started tracing circles in the dirt, "This was supposed to be a hot blooded betrayal and fight... Now it just feels stupid. You suck, Nicholas. Shame on you for ruining a good development. Shame."
Nicholas shrugged, "Because I care so much about the opinion of a holstein cow."
"HAH! COW TIDDIES!" Blackbeard coughed blood.
"I'll have you know..." The Lancer started, disconcerted with the suddenly casual atmosphere, "My name is Hector."
"...of Troy?" Nicholas asked with a pensive gaze.
He'd have to take his words back.
The man started a whole war to protect his little brother after the shit took some king's wife.
But...geh, taking his words back was too difficult for someone who's default mode was beating others down and then actually beating on them.
"I see you recognise me." Hector smiled lazily, "How about now? I was waiting for Captain here..." He shook the spear he had inside Blackbeard, "To lower his guard so I could steal his Grail."
That was... some villain type shit.
Fuck it.
He'd go all in.
"You a bum."
"...This bum is about to steal a grail." Hector chuckled, scratching the back of his head.
"Yeah, cause no big bad in history ever thinks about using a Holy Grail." Nicholas deadpanned, "It's getting kinda tiresome with how many of y'all just use grails. Be original or something."
"Hmm, true." Hector nodded thoughtfully before shrugging, "But eh, we all gotta make do with the cards available kid."
He ripped the spear out of Blackbeard and smirked, "See ya later. I hope you can stop my actual captain."
With a small mock salute, the Lancer disappeared into thin air.
"You realise he just got away with the Holy Grail that was messing up this time period?"
"Huh... oh well."
"No, not oh well. What if they destroy the world or something? And the word Captain means there's a whole 'nother 'crew' of servants out there."
"...I punch?" Nicholas offered slowly.
Gudako facepalmed and sighed at the same time before walking over to the depressed Francis Drake, "Get your men ready. We're going on another adventure... You'll get your hot blooded battle."
"But what about Blackbeard?" Nicholas asked in a small voice.
There wasn't even a corpse left because servants disappeared when they 'died'.
"I'll summon him when we get back. Come on." Gudako walked off monotonously.
Nicholas followed after her with a small smile, seemingly proud of something, "Yay… but wait, what's to say Martha and Yu and the others haven't already ganked this 'crew'?"
"I guess we'll never know." The red haired teenager threw her hands up leaving Nicholas to stare at her back in awe.
-
Hope you enjoyed the chapter.
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