Chapter 8: The Art of Annoyance
The Rocky Showdown Begins
The mountainous terrain trembled as Naruto, clad in his yellow Reverse-Flash suit with red lightning streaks, faced off against Sasori and Deidara. Dust swirled from the wreckage of the exploded clay dragon, and the air crackled with tension. Deidara's scowl deepened, his fists clenched, while Sasori's Hiruko puppet crouched, tail poised like a scorpion ready to strike.
Naruto stretched dramatically, cracking his neck. "Alright, boys, let's make this fun. I've got, like, ten minutes before I get bored, so impress me!"
Deidara's eye twitched again. "You're dead, un!" He thrust his hands into his clay pouch, palm-mouths chewing furiously. "C1, let's blow this idiot sky-high!"
A swarm of clay birds erupted from his hands, chirping as they zipped toward Naruto. Each one pulsed with explosive chakra, primed to detonate. Naruto tilted his head, smirking beneath his mask.
"Aw, cute! You made me little pets!"
In a yellow blur, he vanished, reappearing mid-air, juggling the birds like they were toys. "Catch!" He hurled them back at Deidara, who yelped and dove off the boulder.
KABOOM!The explosions rocked the ground, sending up plumes of smoke. Deidara rolled to his feet, coughing. "Tch! You think that's funny, yeah?"
"Uh, yeah," Naruto shot back, now perched atop a nearby rock, legs crossed. "It's hilarious. You should see your face, priceless!"
Sasori's tail lashed out, a blur of iron aiming to skewer Naruto. "Enough games." The tip gleamed with poison, promising a slow, agonizing death.
Naruto vibrated, letting the tail phase through him harmlessly. He yawned, patting his chest. "Ooh, scary! Almost felt that one. Try harder, puppet guy."
Sasori's eyes narrowed through Hiruko's slit. "You're testing my patience."
"Good," Naruto quipped. "I'd hate for this to be boring."
---
Deidara snarled, leaping back to gain distance. "Fine, un! Let's see you dodge this!" He molded a larger chunk of clay, crafting a C2 dragon mid-air. The beast roared to life, its maw spitting guided clay bombs that streaked toward Naruto with deadly precision.
Naruto clapped his hands, grinning. "Now that's more like it!" Red lightning crackled around him as he bolted forward, weaving through the bombs at blinding speed. One exploded behind him, the shockwave ruffling his suit. "Whoops! Almost got a tan there!"
He zipped around the dragon, vibrating his hand to phase through its wing, then snapped his fingers. A sonic boom erupted, shattering the clay construct into a rain of harmless chunks. Deidara gaped as his masterpiece crumbled.
"What the?!" Deidara stammered. "That's my art, you bastard!"
"Art?" Naruto appeared beside him, leaning in close. "Buddy, I've seen better sculptures in ramen bowls." Before Deidara could react, Naruto flicked his forehead, hard enough to send him stumbling back with a yelp.
Sasori seized the moment, Hiruko's mouth opening to unleash Prepared Puppet: Eight Waves of Needles. A torrent of poisoned senbon sprayed out, a machine-gun barrage aimed to shred Naruto.
Naruto's reflexes kicked in, the world slowing to a crawl. He danced between the needles, twirling like a ballerina on crack. "Missed me! Nope! Not even close!" He caught one senbon mid-air, spinning it between his fingers. "Nice try, though. Want it back?"
He flicked it at Sasori, who deflected it with Hiruko's tail. "You're insufferable," Sasori growled.
"Aw, thanks!" Naruto beamed. "I try."
---
Puppetmaster vs. Prankster
Sasori, fed up, shed Hiruko in a burst of splinters, revealing his puppet body, smooth, youthful, and loaded with traps. "Let's see how you handle this." He raised his hands, chakra threads snapping taut as the Third Kazekage puppet emerged from a scroll. Its compartments opened, unleashing Thousand Hands Manipulation Force, a swarm of puppet arms lunging at Naruto, tipped with poison gas and kunai.
Naruto whistled. "Fancy! You're like a one-man puppet show!" He vibrated again, phasing through the arms as they swiped at him. One sprayed poison gas; he held his breath, zipped behind Sasori, and tapped his shoulder. "Tag, you're it!"
Sasori spun, flamethrowers igniting from his palms. Twin streams of fire roared toward Naruto, who ducked under them with a casual "Hot, hot, hot!" He reappeared upside-down, hanging from a rock overhang. "You're really bringing the heat, huh? Too bad I'm faster than your barbecue."
Sasori shifted tactics, his puppet, activated Iron Sand Gathering Assault. Black sand coalesced into a massive spear, spinning like a drill as it hurtled toward Naruto. The ground quaked from its sheer weight.
Naruto's eyes gleamed. "Oh, I like that!" He bolted forward, red lightning trailing, and vibrated his body to phase through the spear. Emerging on the other side, he patted the sand as it reformed. "Nice try, but I'm not into acupuncture."
Deidara, back in the fight, hurled a C3 bomb, a colossal statue dropping from above, its arms outstretched. "Dodge this, un!"
Naruto glanced up, smirking. "Big boy, huh?" He raced up the mountainside, grabbed a boulder, and hurled it at the bomb mid-fall. The collision triggered a deafening BOOM, raining clay shards everywhere. Deidara shielded his face, cursing.
"Seriously?!" Deidara shouted. "That was my masterpiece!"
Naruto zipped beside him, ruffling his hair. "Masterpiece? More like a piñata. Where's the candy?"
---
The Speedster's Playground
Sasori unleashed Iron Sand World Method, spikes of poisoned sand branching out in a deadly web. Naruto laughed, weaving through the maze at impossible speeds, red lightning illuminating the chaos. "Ooh, a jungle gym! You shouldn't have!"
He phased through a spike, grabbed it, and snapped it off, vibrating it into dust. "Oops, broke your toy." Sasori's calm facade cracked, his puppet fingers twitching.
Deidara, fuming, tried C4, chibi clay clones of himself, rupturing to release microscopic bombs. "Let's see you laugh this off, yeah!"
Naruto tilted his head as the cloud spread. "Fancy dust? Cute." He vibrated his entire body at a frequency to disrupt the bombs, rendering them inert. Then, with a snap of his fingers, he unleashed a shockwave, blowing the cloud back at Deidara.
"Ack!" Deidara coughed, waving the dust away. "What the hell, un?!"
"Thought I'd return the favor," Naruto said, now lounging on a rock, hands behind his head. "You're welcome."
Sasori, done with the nonsense, summoned his hundred-puppet army. A sea of weaponized figures surged forward, blades, flamethrowers, and poison needles flying. Naruto clapped. "Now this is a party!"
He blurred into motion, phasing through puppets, snapping chakra threads with flicks of his wrist, and tossing puppets into each other like bowling pins. "Strike!" he yelled as five collided in a heap. Sasori's eye twitched, visibly.
---
Deidara, panting, tried one last move, clay clones rigged to explode. Theu charged Naruto, who smirked and phased through them, letting them detonate harmlessly behind him. "Nice try, blondie, but I'm untouchable."
Sasori fired a cable spear from his abdomen, aiming for Naruto's chest. Naruto caught it mid-air, vibrating it to pieces. "You're really attached to this stuff, huh? Get it? Attached?"
Both Akatsuki members glared, exhausted and furious. Naruto dusted his hands, strolling toward them. "Alright, I'm bored now. You guys are fun, but I've got bigger fish to fry, like that old fossil Ohnoki."
He leaned in close to Deidara. "Word of advice: work on your aim." Then to Sasori: "And you, maybe smile more. You're creeping me out."
Before they could retort, Naruto snapped his fingers, unleashing a sonic boom that knocked them flat. "Catch you later, losers!" In a yellow flash, he was gone, leaving Sasori and Deidara sprawled in the dirt.
Deidara punched the ground. "I'm gonna kill that bastard, un!"
Sasori, rising slowly, muttered, "He's… insufferable."
High above, Naruto perched on a cliff, grinning beneath his mask. "Two down, one fossil to go. This speedster gig's too easy."
The game was far from over.
Tbc