---Notice---
I'm not even going to give an excuse for the absence this time—sorry—and here is a chapter.
My new story is out by the way, it's peak, please check it out, it will be entirely free to read.
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"It is that we are never so defenseless against suffering as when we love, never so helplessly unhappy as when we have lost our loved object or its love." ~Sigmund Freud
"On a final note, the school lunch issue is becoming bigger and bigger by the day. Given we've been tasked to deal with it, we should discuss it," President Horikita said during the student council briefing. Though it was just me, him, and Nagumo present, he paused for a second, his gaze shifting between us as if to make sure we were paying attention.
"Why doesn't the school handle the issue itself?" Nagumo leaned back in his chair, tone casual yet edged with irritation. "While I think the whole situation is kind of stupid—and I don't agree with the actions of the 'rebelling' students—it's not really something that concerns the student body, is it?"
I spoke after him. "I agree, though I'm on the other side of the fence regarding the students' actions. If the school wants to resolve this, it should just give the students what they want. Food isn't a privilege. No one's asking for the free lunches to be on the same level as the paid ones, but they could at least make them decent enough to stop students from faking sickness just to get access to higher-quality meals. It's not about cost. Not all protein sources are expensive. Vegetables are cheap, grains like rice are too. There's no reason students should be eating something that tastes like boiled water with a few stray bits of vegetables floating in it."
Horikita glanced at the clock mounted above the door. The discussion period had already passed a while ago. "It seems we won't be able to make much progress on this today," he said flatly. "But we'll need to decide on a course of action soon."
Nagumo crossed his arms, expression unreadable. "I find it strange."
I looked toward him, and so did Horikita. Nagumo didn't continue immediately; he seemed to be gathering his thoughts.
"You'd usually decide on these kinds of things on your own," he finally said. "But lately, you've been involving us."
Horikita's gaze didn't waver. "As I mentioned, the school has deemed it an important matter. They rarely step in like this, but it's rare for the school's interests to be threatened in the first place. Plus, it's important…"
He paused, eyes drifting to the large windows where the sunlight cut across the room in quiet bars. "It's important that you both experience at least one situation that could influence a core function of the school. Maybe you'll learn something from it."
Nagumo absorbed those words silently, then began packing up his materials. "I'll take that as my cue," he muttered, standing up. With a casual wave, he left the room. The moment he stepped out, the air shifted.
Horikita looked at me. "I know you requested I continue these meetings and that you'd handle Nagumo, but I truly don't see how this benefits you." He began placing his papers neatly into a folder. Tachibana, who had remained silent throughout the discussion, followed suit, efficiently organizing the documents without a word.
"Sometimes," I said, "the hardest thing is just getting close to someone. These meetings give me that opportunity. Since we're in different years, I wouldn't have another reason to interact with Nagumo regularly. So please, keep holding these meetings. I'm not asking for much—this alone will be enough to allow me to stop him."
Horikita stopped midway through zipping his bag. "Can you tell me what you're planning?"
I shook my head. "It's not that he's holding something specific over me. Nagumo has a large portion of the first years under his thumb. It's a delicate situation."
Manabu nodded slowly. "I'll continue to hold these meetings as long as I can. But I wasn't lying—the school genuinely has an interest in the lunch issue. I can only stall them for so long before they start to get impatient."
"Just do what you can, Manabu. I'm already grateful you've entertained my request for this long," I replied.
Horikita finished packing and straightened his posture. "On that note, have you decided on a secretary?"
"Honestly, no one comes to mind yet. It's still too early to make that decision," I said, standing up from my seat.
"Still, give it some thought. Whether you pass the role to someone else or choose a person capable of making a real impact, it's a position that carries weight."
"I'll keep that in mind," I said, slinging my bag over my shoulder. "Anyway, I should get going. I've got a few errands to run."
Horikita didn't respond, but his eyes followed me until the door closed behind me. The faint hum of the school's ventilation system filled the silence that followed—steady, mechanical, unfeeling. The kind of quiet that always comes before something begins to shift.
***Shinji***
"Are we really going behind Yagami's back and doing this?" Mai asked as we walked across campus, her voice carrying the kind of hesitation that always irritated me.
"I already told you yes. Why do you keep asking?" I replied without looking at her.
She sighed, brushing a strand of hair away from her face. "I'm sure you remember it. You would, better than anyone, Hoshino's expulsion. After Light left our room that day, I asked what we'd do. You said we'd play both sides, that you weren't interested in being a first year's pawn… but is it really that bad?"
"I won't let the fact that Nagumo was the one to expel Hoshino cloud my judgment," I said flatly. "At the end of the day, both Nagumo and Yagami are the kind of people I'd rather not deal with. But if it comes down to it, I don't care if you call it selling my soul to the devil—I'll choose the devil I know over the one I don't."
"But Hoshino—"
I cut her off before she could finish. "Hoshino is gone. For good. She's not coming back to this school. It's not like she died, but we need to accept that she's not returning, and there's nothing we can do about it."
Mai's gaze fell to the pavement as we walked. Her voice had lost its usual warmth. We reached the dorm we were heading to and knocked, but the only response was silence. Of course. Some students actually had lives outside of scheming and politics.
"Hey, Shinji?" Mai asked as we sat down in the hallway outside the door.
"Yeah?"
"Do you think Class D would be in the same state if Hoshino were still around?"
Before I could respond, she continued. "And please—just answer, a straightforward reply. I know I'm not the smartest, and maybe it's a stupid question… but still."
I paused, letting her words hang there. It hadn't been long since Hoshino's expulsion, but it felt long. Maybe that was a testament to her presence—how quickly she had filled the gaps others couldn't. But in the end, she was no match for Nagumo. Objectively, I have to wonder if she was ever even on Kiriyama's level. Dealing with Hosen alone had pushed her to the limit. It's honestly impressive she managed as much as she did, given how stacked the deck was against her.
"Nothing would change," I said finally. "Class D would still be where it is—bottom of the barrel. Hoshino or not, it wouldn't matter. Our class is filled with the worst of the worst."
Mai's expression tightened. "Isn't that unfair? She was amazing—smart, athletic, a genuinely good person. But even she probably wouldn't have made a difference. She was set up to fail from the beginning. It's not that Hoshino wasn't worthy of Class A—it's that Class D wasn't worthy of her. You know that better than anyone, don't you, Shinji?"
Her voice was calm, soft even, but her words carried weight. I didn't argue. She was right. Hoshino's expulsion happened partly because of me—because I refused to act. Because I didn't care enough to. Success, failure… both are illusions people cling to so they can feel something.
Mai exhaled, guilt creeping into her tone. "I'm sorry. That was too far… I'm just frustrated."
"It's fine," I said. "You're not wrong."
The elevator doors opened with a dull mechanical chime, saving us from the silence that had settled between us. And out stepped Miyabi Nagumo.
He walked toward us with that same effortless confidence—controlled, almost mechanical. His eyes scanned us but carried no curiosity, no concern. Just recognition.
"Class D, right?" he said, stopping in front of his door. Of course, he knew. Even if he didn't remember Mai's name, he knew me.
"To what do I owe the pleasure?" Nagumo asked, unlocking his door.
"We have something urgent to report to you," I said, standing up.
He gave a quiet laugh, the kind that barely sounded human. "You two don't usually report to me. You must be desperate for points."
"It isn't that simple. Do I look like a sellout to you?" I replied, staring him down.
Nagumo turned halfway, the faintest trace of a smirk crossing his face. "Fine. I'll give you a chance. Matters concerning lower classes like 2-C and 2-D don't interest me anymore—but I'll hear you out. You have one chance to get my attention."
"It's Light Yagami of class 1-B. He is trying to expel you." I quickly reply, knowing my words would get his attention.
Any, they did — obviously Nagumo's eyes weren't trusting, no, they were suspicious — but in the end, he still moved aside, opening his door to me and Mai. "Come in," he said.
I didn't wait. I walked into Nagumo's dorm and soon Mai followed.
"Take a seat. Tea or water?" Nagumo asked.
"Tea would be nice," I replied, taking a seat in the room.
Nagumo began to make tea before speaking once more.
"So now get to it, tell me about why you're here," Nagumo said from the other side of the dorm.
"Recently, not that far back, Yagami found me. He was searching for someone to sell him information." I started.
"I see… that makes sense… I do seem to remember you —you were always known for being detached, weren't you? Well, maybe that's an exaggeration, but you never cared about things going on around you. Anyways, don't let me interrupt you — please continue. What was he looking for?" Nagumo asked.
"He was looking for information on the next big special exam, the mixed training camp," I said, and Nagumo's attention focused on me as he moved to pour the tea. "I had every intention of providing it even though I knew the risks."
"Long story short, even after patting him down, confiscating his phone, and taking all precautions necessary, he managed to pull a quick one on me — sneaking a phone that was recording into my bag and therefore recording our entire conversation while getting around my careful checks. After that, he blackmailed me. He made his intentions quite clear: he wants to use me to expel you." I explained.
"How did he elaborate?" Nagumo questioned. He didn't seem to trust me, but it seemed like he couldn't ignore what I said.
"He wants me to take over Class 2-D and engineer your expulsion at the mixed training camp by rigging the exam. He explained that if there are Class-D students in your group, one of them can be set up to fail on purpose, thereby tanking the group's exam average and making the penalty fall on you. For that reason, he's even pushing me to build relationships with Class 2-B and Class 2-C, so that if one of them supplies a leader of whatever group you fall into, they can force your expulsion. Yagami said he would give up to 30,000,000 points if I could find anyone to carry the job out — letting the winners buy their way out of expulsion and keep the extra 10 million." I explained.
Nagumo looked back for a moment, trying to hide it, but surprise flickered across his face. It made sense — I'd been surprised when Yagami first told me the plan.
"He's more cunning than I've given him credit for," Nagumo said after a beat. "Still, his tactic does rely somewhat on luck. There's around a fifty percent chance it could work… but even then it wouldn't reliably succeed. That's why you came to me, isn't it? I essentially have three extra lives to spare; I can't be permanently expelled that easily. At most, Yagami has one."
He paused, thinking. The room smelled faintly of green tea and the antiseptic tang of dorm furniture. The casualness of the scene made the stakes feel sharper — like watching a scalpel move in slow motion.
"Does Yagami know you're here?" he asked.
I nodded. "Yes, he wanted me and—"
Nagumo cut me off. "Stop talking. Let the girl talk."
It was obvious Nagumo wanted to hear Mai. She was easier to read, easier to use as a truth gauge. There was nothing I could do about it, so I let him turn his attention to her.
Mai looked around as Nagumo finally brought the tea and set it on the small table between us. She was obviously nervous, but she nodded. "Y-yes. He said he wanted us to get close to you, but he didn't want us to tell you he was blackmailing us."
Nagumo leaned in a fraction. "What did he want then?"
Mai hesitated, then spoke after a moment. "...Well, he had another big plan for this, but it basically boils down to this. He wanted us to offer our help dealing with you—dealing with Kiriyama—and in return you'd help Class D get rid of Hosen permanently."
Nagumo laughed. The sound came out bright and almost delighted. "Hahaha. This is incredible. He planned on having you two try to convince me to do his dirty work by getting rid of the tyrant in Class D — that is, Hōsen — for you to take full control of the class and by growing the hatred Kiriyama and most of Class B have for Class A, thereby setting the scene for him to expel me at the mixed training camp, while he sits on his ass and just watches everything play out. Impressive…"
He was smiling in a way I hadn't seen much since his class actually made it to Class A. It wasn't a smile of warmth, more of entertainment at the architecture of someone else's scheme. The idea that someone had tried to use other people as chess pieces to take him down pleased him.
"Well, I don't think this needs to be explained, but I don't trust you two. At the same time, I'm curious what Yagami has planned. He seems more fun than I expected, so I'll bite and play this little game he's set for me as intended. Let's see what this genius President Horikita handpicked has in store for me."
I sipped my tea. The warmth spread through me — a pleasant feeling in an unpleasant place.
I've never had any illusions about loyalty or heroism. I do what I must. Not more, not less. But what you must do becomes hard to define in a place like this — a place where alliances are tools, where trust is currency, where everything seems to take a hierarchical structure.
Yagami wanted to use me as a pawn. He obviously learned about my past somehow; he knew enough about what happened to Hoshino to think I'd act out of resentment. Maybe he believed that alone would be enough to make me his weapon against Nagumo.
If that's what he thinks, then fine. If he wants to use me, that's his business. I'll play along, as long as it serves me. At the end of the day, I'm nothing special — just another bastard without loyalties, leaning whichever way lets me keep my quiet, ordinary life intact.
At least, that's what I'd like to say.
But as I looked at Nagumo, something twisted in my chest. A feeling I couldn't explain at first — not anger, not fear. Something sharper.
If I had to give it a name… it would be hate.
I knew I wasn't justified in feeling it. Nagumo was doing what anyone here would do — acting for himself, for his own position, his own survival. It was logical, even admirable in a way.
And still, I couldn't help it.
This man in front of me — everything about him, the ease in his voice, the quiet confidence in his eyes, the way he smiled as if the world existed to amuse him — it made me sick.
I absolutely despise him.
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