[Loki - Goddess of the Loki Familia]
There was a clink as a gold coin was deposited on the table, face up.
The Wise Guy looked at the coin and then back up at the visage of a beautiful brown-haired woman with a veil concealing her face. She was beautiful, almost unearthly, but she was rather tall and muscular, not overly so, just dangerous. The masked man's head tilted. "You must be the one the streets are calling 'Big Spender'. My, it is a pleasure to meet you."
Lie.
The woman's eyes narrowed slightly but she held her tongue. "This 'Little V', I want to know what it is that you've been feeding her. Everything she gave you, I want it all."
The Pallum dressed in the robe looked up at the ceiling for a moment before dragging his hidden gaze back to her. "While you are certainly paying quite an amount for this information, we have taken quite a shine to Little V, so I must ask you this: Is she in danger from you and yours?"
The woman shook her head- her posture was relaxed and sure. "No, if anything, my employer has been observing her with quite some interest, and he has purchased my services to watch over her; I am an insurance policy, a safety net if you will. She has been going around and doing some amazing things, hasn't she? Maybe she'll be just what Daedalus needs to cease being the cesspool of death and misery it currently is."
The man mulled over her words for a minute before nodding his head in an exaggerated fashion. "I believe that your employer stands to gain from her escapades?"
"Everyone stands to gain from her escapades; Daedalus, and Orario as a whole. We aren't certain just how far she can take it, but word on the street is that Knee-Knocker Boulevard has been experiencing quite the boon in commerce once their walls went up; truly, it is a wonder what a little bit of safety and security can accomplish, no?"
"Hmmm... very well then. I don't believe that you are going to cause issues, and your coin is good, so I don't see the harm in telling you what I know."
The Wise Guy spoke and the woman listened.
Once the woman was a safe distance away from Daedalus her from shifted, becoming slightly shorter, her brown hair growing red while her black dress and red cloak slowly shifted colors to a verdant green sundress and a brown cloak. She walked up and down the 3rd Avenue, inspecting the wares of the various shop stalls before moving into the shop of a seamstress and grabbing a dress off one of the hooks to try on.
The moment the curtain was closed, the woman looked in the full-length mirror as she started to change again. Her red hair faded to a strawberry blonde, her once sharp, hooked nose became softer and as cute as a button. Her emerald green eyes became flecked with blue until they were blue flecked with green. Her full lips became thinner, and the natural pout disappeared as the lips widened.
The green dress and brown cloak changed into a light blue sundress with a slightly more plain tan cloak. The last bit of detail added was a slightly fuller bust as well as a few inches of height, and when she stepped out of the dressing room the dress was handed back over to one of the busy clerks who didn't give her a second glance as she stepped back onto the streets with an unhurried gait.
She changed three more times when there was an opportunity to do so, and truth be told this was the most fun that Loki had in a long, long time. Her heart was pounding, her palms were sweating, and it took every ounce of concentration she had to not break out in a massive fucking grin as she made her way to the little cafe Hermes and Dionysis had decided to meet up at.
A large wagon passed her by on the street, blocking her off from view, and with a quick look to her front and rear she knew that no one was paying attention, she released the solid illusory shell that wrapped around her body, and the 1.75-meter tall Far Eastern woman with plain but somewhat graceful features shattered to reveal her wonderfully petite 1.65-meter tall frame.
The Goddess let out a slow breath as she brought a finger up to wipe away a single, solitary drop of sweat that had formed on her brow.
Tanya-chan was just a barrel full of ideas!
Prior to her arrival, Loki honestly never really gave the possibility of using an illusion to conceal her identity; the physical shell was fragile and difficult to maintain, but it hid her Divine aura quite nicely. She suspected that only the Wise Guy might have had an inkling as to who she might have been, but while she could have asked some very subtle questions to try and ferret out whether the enigmatic information broker knew or not... where was the fun in that!?
Seriously, re-tracing all of Tanya-chan's steps in her free time was one hell of a rush; Divines didn't need to sleep after all, so while everyone else was resting their heads Loki was playing junior Detective and trying to piece together the small blonde's movements with a few hints from some 'inside sources' on her operation.
Of course, there were a few close calls here and there, but projecting another illusion of a big, scary-looking mother fucker dressed in all-black armor was more than enough to dissuade any of the miscreants who thought that she was an easy mark. With all of the alleyways in Daedalus, it was simple, if somewhat taxing, to have this Dangerous Stranger slip silently from around the corner.
It was seriously the best when she projected him right out of the alleyways that the idiots crawled out of. Had he been there the entire time? Or was he just that quiet?
The Goddess let a few chortles escape her lips, which caused a few mortals to give her the side-eye as she passed them by.
Loki arrived at the cafe right on time, and as she pulled open the door to the shop she found it entirely empty devoid of all but the two figures seated at the table. "Yo, Hermes, Dio-dio, how have you two been, huh?"
The two men looked up at her as she approached with her hands stuffed into her back pockets and she sat herself down in one of the comfortable, fluffy chairs at the table. A pot of tea was steaming in the center of the table and seeing that the other two had already served themselves the Goddess poured herself a spot of tea and took a sip.
Yuck, far too bitter. Why couldn't Hermes ever bring wine!? Just because Dionysis is a total utter wine snob doesn't mean you shouldn't at least try!
"Ah, Loki, you didn't bring one of your Children to escort you?" Hermes smiled as he used a finger to push his silly hat up upon his brow.
"Nah," The Goddess replied as she wriggled her hand from side to side, "All my kiddies are too busy right now. Most are off in the Dungeon on that expedition, and the rest are also in the Dungeon making me some money; I know that you two aren't into the Deep Floor expedition scene, but those reach deep into your pockets, yanno?"
The God of Travel smirked a little bit, "My Children haven't gone that deep, but I'm certain I can sympathize; nasty business with that Cadmus Spring Water being contaminated- it's a good thing that Dian Chet's Children were quick enough to catch onto its spoilage before he began making anything with it."
Dionysis arched an eyebrow as his lips twitched and he twisted his torso towards Loki as she took a sip of her tea. "Oh? I haven't heard of this, what happened?"
She waved a hand, "New monster encountered in the Dungeon, spits some sort of acid. While my kiddies were fighting the Cadmus dragon it appears that a little bit of its acid contaminated the spring. After defeating it and the Dragon, of which we got some pretty neat Cadmus Hide, when they put the water into the jar they brought some of that acid along with it."
She shrugged her shoulders and leaned her head back over the back of the chair and sighed. "That stuff, whatever it was, is apparently super concentrated because even after being diluted by the Spring Water it still managed to eat a small pinhole in the container that didn't pop until after we handed the jar over."
She pulled her head up and returned her gaze back to her fellow Divines. "At least, that is the best theory we have; the journey back up was smooth as silk and we know for a fact that the container wasn't damaged in the fight or in transit... well, what can you do, huh? Life in the Dungeon is unpredictable; you'll never know what the Dungeon might spawn next, amiright?"
Hermes pulled his cowboy hat low over his eyes while Dionysis' lips twitched minutely. The snobbish, self-proclaimed God of Wine smiled, his eyes crinkling. "Well, that certainly sounds dreadful. To have such an unmarred streak of high-valis requests foiled by the knock-on effects of meeting a new monster in the Dungeons. Surely, that must sting quite a bit."
Loki crossed her arms and frowned. "Eh, it sucks, but it isn't like the Dungeon is completely predictable. Now, why don't we get down to business, eh? We got a Denatus to get ready for, and I want to show off a new dress that one of my kiddies made for me before she went down in the Dungeon!"
Useless, that whole meeting was pointless.
Well, almost pointless.
Dionysis was trying to pull his wide-eyed doe act, the man trying to appear as if he had no idea what was going on and was surprised by every little detail that fell from Loki's and Hermes' lips.
Hermes was being an evasive little shit, like he was wont to do, and kept his cards close to his chest. He did have a few little nuggets here and there, but what he provided was pointless in the vacuum.
It sort of tickled her that her Tanya-chan was able to piece together everything Hermes had by just sheer observation alone; Hermes tried to put down the information that the Viola attack during Monsterphilia was a ruse, but Tanya-chan already had that pegged. He did some "interviews" with Ganesha and some Guild Personnel that were on his dole, but all that did was confirm that his familia's captures for the event nowhere had such creatures listed.
What he did know that neither Tanya-chan nor herself knew, was that the Ganesha familia and a few other smaller Beast Taming familias- Faunus, Inuus, and Moccus- had a number of their higher-ranking Beast Tamers go missing in the Dungeon during some solo dives past the 20th Floor over the past ten years.
The God of Travel only divulged this information after Dionysis had taken his leave, so he must have felt something was off about him without Loki even needing to hint.
The missing Beast Tamers though, that was an interesting little tidbit; most of them were probably killed by the Dungeon, but if even a quarter of those numbers were captured and converted to Evilus' use through whatever method... then it would make sense as to how they were able to handle taming so many of those damn monsters.
The little dropping of the possibility of there also being a second Dungeon entrance didn't seem to surprise either of them, which made sense for Hermes, but for Dionysis to not react with his shocked surprise as he had been for most of the meeting? That was what probably tipped the God of Travel off, Loki was sure.
However, none of that mattered anymore, now was a wonderful time of the year!
Denatus only came around once a quarter, and it was a grand time to see just how slovenly these Divines acted when it was just themselves and none of their Children were there to cast judgment.
It was so shameful, and Loki couldn't get enough of it!
On the very top floor of the Tower of Babel, the 100th Floor, with a wide-open floor plan and windows that stretched from floor to ceiling, this was where the Denatus was held. Large marble pillars of Alabaster with gold veins running over the surface lined the circumference of the room, and in the middle of it sat four long tables of the same marble as the pillars with hundreds of chairs. At the head of all of them was a 'C' shaped table with five seats where the Divines of the Top Five familias sat.
Loki had barely sat down in her seat, wearing a beautiful royal purple dress that displayed her oh so beautiful collarbones, when Skadi, wearing her drab and boring hunter leathers leaned over and growled under her breath. "You better have a good explanation as to why your Finn-kun rejected my aid for this Expedition and yet accepted Freya's."
The Goddess of Trickery's eyes widened a bit and an amused smile crossed her lips. "Oh? I haven't heard about this; to my knowledge only Freya-san offered."
The werewolf Goddess' ears flickered and her hostility dropped by quite a few notches; she was a keen one, quite able to sniff out misleading or untruthful words from even Divines. While Loki was certain it wasn't any of her Divinity leaking through, the woman- even when confined within a mortal shell, had excellent instincts. "My Captain, Bjorn, as well as a dozen of my Level 3s, offered to join the expedition in any capacity that your Finn needed, and he rejected them out of hand."
Loki's smile faded away into a soft frown. "Well it wasn't my intention to reject any aid; truth be told we weren't expecting any offers of support until we had more concrete information to give you all. To my knowledge, Finn-kun planned with that in mind, and was going to adjust any future dives going forward."
The Goddess set a leather-bound binder onto the table and slid it over. "I thought that your Tanya's explanations were quite thorough and more than enough to warrant our aid."
Loki's lips formed and 'O' like a fish.
"This is what I wish to present to the other Divines, Loki-sama. I have given all of the other Executives a copy, of course, and they can read them at their own convenience if they wish to refresh their memories on what we discussed at our meeting seven weeks ago."
"Yes, yes. I'm sure your presentations will go swimmingly, Tanya-chan. Now gimmie that paperwork, your Loki-sama, Goddess Supreme, has a lot of work to do."
The Goddess had this exact binder on her second desk near the window, covered by a pile of paperwork that both Finn and Tanya dumped onto her right after. Idly she made a mental note to finish that pile out before the Guild sent another nastygram.
The Goddess hadn't bothered to read it because why would she need to? She had perfect recall of the meeting after all.
Loki cracked open the binder and began flipping through the report. It was a struggle to keep her hand from shaking as it dawned on her just how much Tanya-chan had shared. It made her want to tear her hair out, but at the same time, it made her want to howl with laughter. Tanya-chan had preemptively fucked over Finn-kun's Secret Redemption Quest before it even began.
She'd been keeping a close eye on Tanya's progress since the day she entered into the familia, and somehow this had slipped just under her notice. Loki had to remind herself that the reincarnated-man-turned-war-hero was a transplant to Orario, in the most literal sense; while she was diligent in listening to Riveria-chan's teachings the common sense of this world was completely and utterly alien to her. What she viewed as a 'little hint, a heads up' was not what Loki and Finn-kun viewed as a hint.
This girl had practically gifted the other Four Pillars a fruit basket that contained a Jack Bird egg inside, and from the looks of it, she didn't know just how taboo that was!
It was so fantastical that it could have been the punchline in any of the comedies playing in the Entertainment District, and Loki would have been howling in laughter at the mere thought of gifting rivals this sort of information.
Even if she was on the receiving end of this particular joke, she still found it absolutely hilarious. Tanya-chan couldn't have fucked Finn-kun over any harder if she trie- no, she probably could have destroyed him utterly if she tried. Not because Finn-kun was incompetent, but because he never had an opponent like Tanya-chan before- her thought processes and common sense were completely different than everyone else's here.
It probably stemmed from her previous life as a soldier, and she was viewing this through the lens of a war where every front must be united against a greater threat.
She wasn't wrong, per se, Evilus was bad news, and despite how much Loki salivated in anticipation at seeing their next move, it wasn't out of malice for their would-be victims! No, she just wanted to see her kiddies triumph over their schemes and win the day! Hopefully in an entertaining and climactic fashion that would finally push one of her Level 6s into the next bracket up!
This is this, and that is that. Two totally different things!
Besides, it wasn't as if she was idle; she had been looking into things with just as much intensity as Tanya-chan, but her methods were just different. Tanya-chan could never have trolled the bars and fished out small bits of information from the drunk patrons; she was much too stiff. Although getting absolutely filthy, crawling in the mud and wearing clothes that stank like ass and picking through garbage? She seemed right at home with the Royal Rats.
Was it because of her time at the orphanage in her world where she was slowly starving to death? Or was she fine crawling around in the piss, blood, and shit due to her time in those corpse-filled trenches she showed her? Loki wouldn't know unless she bothered to tell her, and that was fine.
Loki was patient. No, really! She totally was!
The Goddess hummed and nodded as she closed the binder and slid it back to Skadi as Inari and Hephaestus took their seats. "Yup, this is about what we got; I've been speak'n with Hermes, and we think that it's possible that most of what's in here is true, or at least, highly probable; I just didn't get to confirm anything with him until right before the Denatus. We just don't know for certain, which is the sticking point."
The Reynard Goddess' ears twitched and she settled into her chair. "I too offered aid, if only to get my dunderhead of a Captain out of the house for a few weeks; she has been absolutely insufferable these past few days."
Inari sniffed as she looked at Loki, "Even more so when your Captain refused her aid."
Skadi huffed and crossed her arms over her chest. "I already got her answer, 'Nari, and while it's a little thin, she's telling the truth I think. We'll sit down at that little fish shop you like to eat at and talk afterward."
The Fox Goddess' nose crinkled. "It's called sashimi, you uncultured brute."
The werewolf Goddess shook her head and their eyes swept back to the staircase as Ishtar cleared the last landing; her smile was atrocious as she placed her hands on her hips and flaunted her impressive boobs off to all and sundry as Gods cast themselves at her feet and she walked all over them. "Ah, Ishtar just stepped on me! Step on me more!"
It was utterly pathetic, and one hundred percent amusing. What would the proud strongmen of the Magni familia think if they saw their God whimpering like a girl at a Mage Academy whose crush is running his hand up her skirt?
Then of course, right after Ishtar, Freya arrived.
The Premier Divine in Orario putting her fellow Goddess of Beauty to shame without even trying; Gods and Goddesses alike swooning in unison as she passed with that knowing little smile and a twinkle in her eye.
Her dress was somehow more tasteful and less revealing than what she normally wore, but thanks to the lesser amounts of skin she was showing, that just made the bust on display that much lewder! Curses! Of all the departments to lose to her against, it had to be the up top!
Why couldn't Loki's immense and girthy intellect have taken a small hit to give her some boobs!? Why!?
The Goddess smiled and took her place at the outermost curve of the 'C' shaped head table. "Thank you everyone for attending this quarter's Denatus! It makes me very happy to see you all this fine day, and I do see some returning faces as well- hello, Dionysis-kun. Welcome back."
The Goddess waved to the man who was sitting at the center of the third long table, and the man gave her a brittle smile and waved back. "This is the 4,002nd Denatus, and I will be charing this as per usual, so, shall we begin?"
The announcements came and went, with the only outlier in their normal flow being Demeter and her fellow agricultural Divines noting a 7% increase in their harvests for the quarter. The smiths were fine, the merchant's guilds working with the Divine Economic Council were fine, and the Orario City Administration (hah!) was fine as well.
To the average Divine, everything was fine. Everything was normal. They were blind to the wolves in their midst, which was both good and bad. Loki had thought about asking to chair this Denatus to bring forth the possible return of Evilus, but she thought better of it. The less the Divine sheeple knew the better; fewer cooks in the kitchen meant that the possibility of a spoiled dish was far lower.
The Pillars could handle this. Hell, her Tanya-chan was handling this all quite well! Besides, it wouldn't do to clean up Finn-kun's mess; she told him what would happen if he messed around, and sometimes, the best lessons were learned when they smacked you right in the face.
She loved her little man, to death even, but she wasn't going to stand in the way of a teachable moment; in her opinion, he'd been growing far too complacent with his successes over the past half a decade, and it was dulling his wit. Had he even thought critically about who he was dealing with he would have seen that he wasn't dealing with a 'Yes!' man or even an Adventurer that could be cowed by whatever paltry penalty system they put in place 28 years ago and hadn't updated since.
The meeting prior to their departure should have been the wake-up call Finn-kun needed to realize he wasn't dealing with the average bear. Ha! Average bear. Such a funny expression!
He was probably sweating bullets trying to come up with a reasonable excuse to give to Tanya-chan, lest his whole house of cards comes crumbling down. He was an amazing tactician, and incredibly aware when compared to most other Adventurers, but Loki didn't think he had quite met an opponent like Tanya-chan. She was just as adept at administration as he was, if not more so, and her rules-lawyering was beyond Top Notch! She was also people-focused, likely because of her military background, in a way that Finn Deimne wasn't.
He was a figurehead while she was a leader.
There was a distinct difference between the two, and while a Leader could be a Figurehead and vice versa, it was clear who was what, and it showed in their mindsets.
Finn-kun would never allow a familia he didn't invite onto the expedition unless they were in a subordinate capacity, like the Hephaestus familia blacksmiths. Tanya-chan didn't care about all of that, and only viewed the Freya familia archers as extensions of her own capabilities; they were assets to be used and cared for. Probably a morbid way of looking that things, but as a Commander, she felt she had a duty to use people where they would be best served, not where it would look the best.
Most of the time this wasn't an issue because everyone trusted Finn Deimne's prowess implicitly, but all of that trust was based on his previous track record of success- one rooted in his crusade to rid Orario of Evilus. Without that to put his name on the map, Finn Deimne would be viewed through the same lens as the Gulliver brothers; an oddly strong and competent Pallum.
Nothing more, nothing less.
Finn-kun loathed the thought of ever returning to those days, and he'd done a number of dirty deeds to keep it that way. Not that Loki minded really; the people he buried were somewhat bad dudes in her opinion, and since none of it could be linked to her, what did she care? The Lower World was gritty sometimes, ugly, and she wouldn't have it any other way.
If she wanted a pristine and clear place where there was little to no suffering, then she'd return to her plot of land in Tenkai and watch over the souls of her worshippers living there until it was their turn to return to the cycle of reincarnation! That was boring! She escaped for a reason, yanno?!
The only thing she missed was the amazing boobage that her attendants had no problem letting her grope, but the problem was that their figures were all perfectly made, and Loki was a Goddess that liked a little variety!
Large boobs! Small boobs! Athletic boobs that were nice and springy! Fatty boobs that are so soft her fingers could sink in, and if she gave them a little smack they jiggled for days! Boobs with puffy nipples! Boobs with inverted nipples that she had to tease for a little bit to get them to come out and play! Pink nipples that looked like they were blushing! Dusky nipples that contrasted beautifully with milky flesh!
Variety is the spice of life, and by Tenkai, Loki was going to live!
"-now that we have completed our usual business, I believe it is time that we get on to the part that everyone here loves oh so very much-" Frya clasped her hands in front of her heart.
"""-IT'S ALIAS TIME!""" The rest of the Divines hooted and hollered as packets were distributed along the tables, with the portraits and information on the Children in question, as well as the notable feat that got them their Rank Up.
All of the information was publically available through the Guild, and of course, everything was vetted by the Divines before the packets were distributed. Some Rank Ups weren't happy events, and they wished for more privacy and discretion in dealing with them.
"The first one we have on the list is... Seymore Halley from the Poseiden familia in Melen. Apparently, he drove into the ocean and rescued two dozen women and children when a passenger ship broke open on the rocks during that dreadful storm that rolled through two and a half months ago."
Poseiden raised his hand and looked very uncomfortable being here; the man was sort of a recluse, but since he was just a stone's throw away, they kept inviting him every quarter to attend because as Melen was Orario's neighbor and primary port, what affected the city affected him as well.
"Fishboy."
"The Amazing Fish!"
"Aqualad!"
"Swimmer."
There was a pause as the idiot scratched their heads and wracked their brains for another name. That was when one fool shot up to his feet and held his hand up in the air. "Iron Lung."
"Oh shit, Iron Lung is pretty good!"
"Yeah, that one is the best, by far!"
Freya's eyes crinkled as the God of the Sea buried his face in his hands. "Well then, you should be grateful for everyone's mercy, Poseiden-kun, this could have gone far, far worse for you. From this day forth, the Level 2 Adventurer known as Seymore Halley from Melen, shall be known as 'Iron Lung', in name of his heroic swimming abilities to save lives during a ferocious Centinneal storm!"
"Now, onto our next victim-"
"Stormrazor!"
"EdgeMcGee!"
"Razorblade!"
"The-Leaf-That-Floats-On-The-Wind-But-Is-Cut-By-Nothing"
"Shut the fuck up, Jiutian! Take your flat-chested ideas elsewhere!"
"Yeah, huge boobs are life!"
"The fuck you just say!? Small boobs like Loki-chan sports are clearly the best!"
Ouch.
Such praise for her figure shouldn't hurt so damn much.
"Stormrazor it is," Freya interjected with a calm smile on her face, but the slight twitch to her cheek made Loki chuckle in glee. "Now, onto our last three Rank Ups for the quarter."
Everyone ignored the Far Easter God who threw back an entire bottle of wine as tears spilled down his face. The worst part was? His Child would probably think the alias was pretty cool, given his over the eye hairstyle and pseudo-samurai aesthetic.
"Tanya von Degurechaff, of the Loki familia, Aiz Wallenstein of the Loki familia, and one... Bell Cranel, of the Hestia familia."
"Whhhuuuuuttttttt? Loli-boobs got a Child?!"
"Wow! Good on you, Loli-boobs! I thought you'd be mooching off Hephaestus for another decade, at least!"
"Aw, damnit! You made me lose 500,000 valis in the betting pool! I hope you're happy with yourself Loli-boobs!"
The Goddess in question shot to her feet and slapped her hands down on the table. "A-all of you jerks shut up, it was really different coming down from Tenaki, o-okay!? Sheesh! Acting like you never had a rough patch before, hmph!"
Loki shook her head. Oh dear, she actively turned them against herself.
"Oi! Loli-boobs! Show us your tits and just maybe we'll have mercy on your Child! Hahahaha-hck!"
"Case your inane prattling, obviously Hestia-chan is just overwhelmed, it is her first Denatus after all, take it easy on-"
"Stop being such a damn SIMP! She ain't gonna blow you, she's a virgin Goddess after all!"
"You call ME a SIMP?! Who was it who threw himself at Ishtar's feet on the off chance she might step on you!?"
Freya cleared her throat and the argument cut off. "Now then, we will begin with Aiz Wallenstein, who recently soloed Udaeus and earned Level 6. Shall there be a change to her alias?"
"""OUR WIFE!"""
Loki was fit to be tied, the Goddess looking like she could chew nails.
"Then that is a 'No'. Now, onto our fastest rising star, our Record Holder by achieving Level 2 in three weeks and three days, Tanya von Degurechaff."
"Ugh, why does Loki always look so scary when it's time to name her kids, huh?"
"Maybe she'd get laid if she wasn't such a bitch."
"Here, here!"
"Anyways, this kid, huh? Her portrait makes her look mean as a snake, this one."
"She looks super cute! Haven't you seen her flying around the city? Like a fairy~!"
"Wow, Demeter's Boobs are talking!?"
"We could go with Fairy?"
"Meh, that's low-hanging fruit, my guy. It needs to be spicy... how about... MY ANGEL!?"
Loki grumbled and sipped at her wine. Tanya-chan was going to be one of those that took a while. Shit.
"Hey, I heard from Hermes that his kids said she was a total psycho when fighting!"
Hermes? Loki's eyes narrowed and the God in question waggled his fingers at her. What was his game?
"Izzat true? Well... what about Tiny Death?"
"Tiny Murder!"
"Small Murder!"
"No, guys, guys, guys, wait. I got this. Midget Murder."
There was a chorus of 'Oh's and 'Oooohs' and Loki raised her empty glass to bean the asshole over the head.
"Yeah, I like that one. Sort of rolls off the tongue doesn't it? Midget Murder. Miiiidddddjjjjjjjeeeeetttttt Mmmmmuuuuuurrrrddddddeeeerrrr."
"Wait, guys. It needs to be insultingly thematic, we already have a 'Psycho Waifu', we need something different. Think."
Oh, Loki had forgotten about SaikoWaefu.
Heh.
According to Raijin, much to his great shame, his first non-Far Eastern child thought that it was a very cool name.
Idly, the Goddess of Trickery wondered if she learned to speak Far Eastern yet.
"Well, isn't she the girl that carries tons of loot over to Hepahestus' place? I've heard from some Gods out in the countryside that the Goblins that spawn there tend to grab anything they come across and put it in a sack to carry around with them so..."
"She's a... Loot Goblin? Hahahahaha! That would be perfect if it weren't so on the nose."
"What about Murderloli? Except we make it Far Eastern?"
"She's fluent in Far Eastern, not gonna work." Loki piped up and the rest of the Divines sulked.
"I would object to all those aliases on principal," Hephaestus leaned forward and tapped her knuckles on the table, "She is incredibly astute when it comes to business, and has come up with quite a few designs that my smithy produces; some of the big names here are already using the products that she designed."
"Damn, thought we really had it with that one. Well, she's arguably beautiful, in that little angry gremlin sort of way, she flies, and she kills things..."
"Valkyrie?"
"Nah, we already got one of those. Besides, that fits right in with Loki's pantheon. It does fit the theme, but it just isn't that insulting enough."
"Heh, being Loki's kid is bad enough as it is."
"Well, what about Pinnacle or Apex? She seems like a try-hard, and I ain't ever heard of a Level 1 killing a Monster Rex before."
"Well, it does seem that she's a try-hard, but it sounds really cool, actually, too cool in my opinion. It's got to sound outwardly impressive but actually be a backhanded dig. It's how stuff works around here, Anubis. I know that this is only your second Denatus, but I thought you would have picked up on this the last time around."
"Apologies, I am really trying here."
"It's all good 'Nuby, just let us handle this. Now, how do you make fun of a hyper-competent Record Holder that is beautiful, powerful, and business-minded?"
"Well, she fucking blinded me for like ten minutes with that beam spell of hers. Sure it killed the Rex and whatnot, but I tripped over a stall and accidentally groped the tits of the ugliest mortal I'd ever seen before. It sizzled my hand! I demand restitution!"
"Heh, only you would have the 'Unlucky Pervert' moments, it's like you're Zeus, but in reverse! Haha!"
"The Radiance." Hermes' eyes crinkled as he twirled his stupid hat around his finger.
Loki frowned, was this revenge for Tanya turning his familia over to the Guild for tax evasion?
"Yeah, that's a good one. It sounds cool, but, in the end-"
"Bright things are annoying," Soma mumbled from his seat, his cowl covering his head and face from the light of the sun.
To be honest Loki was surprised he even attended.
"You said it, Soma! By the way, when is your next batch going to come out? I was rather partial to that strawberry wine you made, but you haven't put it out in like a decade-"
Freya cleared her throat and smiled. "For having defeated a Monster Rex, and... blinding Kannon-kun, Tanya von Degurechaff, the Record Holder for the fastest Rank Up in Orario's History, will from this day forth be known as 'The Radiance'. Our final Child to be named this evening is Bell Cranel-kun, of the Hestia familia, who would have been the Record Holder if not for Tanya-chan, with three months and three days."
The woman seemed incredibly pleased with the alias chosen, and honestly? Loki didn't mind it either, it just sucked that the idea came from the dumbass who stared directly into the light and blinded himself because of it.
And Hermes. Oh, she was going to remember this.
"Doesn't this kid look like a rabbit?"
"Usagi-kun! He's so cute!"
"Demeter's Boobs, please, if you're not going to contribute meaningfully, then just... be quiet."
"Well, something rabbit-themed?"
"Once again, low-hanging fruit, my guy. Try again, what did this guy do anyway?"
"Says here that he killed a juiced-up Minotaur without any help."
"Wow, that would have looked really impressive if the Radiance hadn't fucked that up for him."
"Yeah."
"Well, other than his white hair and red eyes I really can't pick out anything to make fun of him other than the fact he looks cute. Standard winter theme, then?"
"Yeah-"
"H-hey! Bell-kun has magic, you know!? It's a Super Short Chant magic, and it's called Firebolt. You can't give him an ice-themed name!" Hestia stood up and gesticulated wildly, and Loki felt her heart shrivel up a little bit each time the loli's boobs bounced too and fro.
The other Gods grinned viciously.
Thus "Snowdrift" was named. Poor kid.
Still, though, Freya seemed quite pleased with the alias, especially when she seemed interested enough in him to cause a ruckus at Monsterphilia.
What was her game?
Loki thought all about it on her way back to the Manor. When she got back she didn't bother going back to her room, instead, she moved down towards the living quarters for the various parties of Lower-Ranked Adventurers. There were eight beds to a room, so that typically made it the unofficial party size limit; not that the larger parties didn't just live in different rooms.
When she knocked on the door she was ushered in by Tabbitha, the Pallum party leader guiding her over to a table with tea. "How was the Denatus, Loki-sama?"
The others were lounging on their beds in various states of undress, but nothing that would be considered improper; much to her dismay, she could care less about the guys, but there were four cute girls here and they didn't even have the decency to offer some side-boob! "Meh, it was okay. Tanya-chan really caused a stir. Took them forever to choose an alias for her."
The Royal Rats perked up and gazed at her intently. She smiled. "From this day forth, Tanya von Degurechaff shall henceforth be known as 'The Radiance.'"
The men nodded while the girls all clapped excitedly with smiles on their faces. These poor Children didn't even know...
"It certainly suits her, she is often... hard to look at sometimes." The Pallum looked down into her tea as she stirred. "So bright it hurts..."
Loki's smile faded and she reached over to cup the Pallum's hand. "Well, why don't I tell you about my escapade with the Wise Guy, huh? He was much more forthcoming than those other guys you asked me to check on."
This was the ruse, the ploy within the ploy.
The Rats knew about the Divine's ability to sense lies or half-truths, but for some reason, Tanya-chan still did not. She thought about correcting this and having Riveria-chan tell her, but she decided against it; it was funny, besides, the girl did her best to be clear and unobstructive with her words anyways, so telling her that a Divine could sense her lies would make dealing with her more difficult for Loki.
So the RRs asked Loki if she would retrace Tanya's footsteps through Daedalus and double-check the information that she had been gathering. It was a simple task, but fun and exciting nonetheless!
"So, this is what I learned-"