I know when I'm drunk. You go around the block fighting monsters long enough people treat you like an adult. Most of the time I just subtly changed the contents of the drink into orange juice or something. The first time it was offered, though, I actually did drink the alcoholic beverage. It tasted like shit but being hung over keeps the nightmares at bay. I would however go so in depth with spells on how that would affect my growth that I would find minor genetic issues I could fix by the time I got around to fixing the damage to my liver.
Should I have been drinking right after graduating from high school?
Not according to the laws of the state of Texas.
Was I going to be driving after this?
Also, no.
I was planning on going home via the land route past the church. It's healthier according to my therapist to get exercise, and I've done far more hiking than anyone reasonably should. It's a cakewalk for me.
Why am I so coherent?
Magic. There is a spell for everything if you look hard enough. This spell won't work forever, but it will prevent me from doing too much stupid stuff.
It won't fully stop me, though. Mainly because I underestimated how much I would be drinking today, but also because simulating drunkenness is useful for infiltration and stuff. But mostly it's because this means I still get the benefits of getting drunk, like being unable to remember trauma. This spell just reins me in to only doing sorta stupid things instead of something mega stupid.
This church is nice. It's no church of Serra, but it's something. There's this really young nun who is nice. An absolute angel, great person 11/10. Best friend material. Not any more than that, though. Nuns are married to Jesus or something. Hell, if I know, I'm not an expert in theology. Well, the theology of Earth. I can name tenets of the Church of Serra or the Church of Avacyn.
I only come here because Grandma can't drive herself anymore, and I get an excuse to spend more time with her.
You know what, why don't I just make the nun an angel or some shit?
It's not like that has many consequences if no one notices, and I hide it via multilayered enchantment sorting.
There aren't even any mages or whatever to notice this. A no consequence backup defender of this plane for whenever I am away on business. Angelic Destiny has never failed me before.
Sure, the only other times a system like this was set up went horribly wrong twice, but I'm only leaving the one angel out here and layering it under a couple of hundred irrelevant enchantments which mask that any enchanting was done at all. Besides, I'm working to add a system of angels to this plane anyway. It's what 99% done by now? All I need to do is work on the deployment method. They'll need a field commander. Might as well make it a nun who's actually been on the ground before. And, I guess that means integrating the system stuff into her.
Note to self: finish the ascension mechanic. Thank god for magic memory notes, otherwise I'd forget that idea.
Did I mention how my blood alcohol level is currently 80%? My body translated this absurd level to a safer one as a result of some automated healing spells I have active, but this does go beyond my nearly perfect anti-drunkenness spell's ability to function. I will feel this in the morning, and barely remember this idea, but it's there as Chekhov's gun now. Now all I need to do from here is hide this from her consciousness and seal the majority of the strength unless something triggers a secondary enchantment which detects any hostility against this plane or herself, its inhabitants, or this individual, and we should be good.
Damn, is enchantment an absurdly useful branch of magic.
---------------------------A few hours later-----------------
Fuck, my head. Why did I go drinking last night? I hate the taste of alcohol. I have therapy today. Why did I do this to myself? Past David is the worst.
I'm too woozy for this shit.
I need the hangover spell.
It's two white, one green, right?
No wait, that's for spells with more required power, not hangover removal. You see that stuff in summoning powerful creatures or anti-artifact spells. Putting that much power into the hangover spell is total detoxification, last I checked.
Fuck it, I'm doing it now. You never know if you are being slowly poisoned by the school district until you check.
________________Meanwhile…..__________________
(POV Diodora)
I was having a good day. It was a Sunday, and I am ready to get yet another peerage member. This nun was young, and had no special abilities or super amazing usage in combat, but she was hot, and that's all I care about. I could pay off some grunt Fallen to implant her with a sacred gear or something anyway.
This basic fucking mission went horribly wrong over the span of about seven minutes.
I had finally gotten to where the nun was excommunicated, and would then "save her" only to proceed to the fun part. The breaking of a nun's spirit through very pleasurable means. This was mostly a warm-up for my biggest play, the holy maiden in Italy. It should have been very simple, no significant prep work needed. I'd done this multiple times before, and no matter how much they resisted, I'd always get them in the end.
What happened instead is the bitch kicking my ass. I'd done reconnaissance like always, and she should have had a neat cost of a single pawn. The nun was someone who didn't have a chance against me, no significant supernatural power, no sacred gear, nothing. You couldn't lie to an evil piece. Or at least, that's what I was told, and given my cousin invented the fucking things, I'm pretty sure I'd been told the truth.
I was both surprised and annoyed by this, but it wasn't a dealbreaker. While I want to have a complete peerage, this sudden jump in strength will be worth it when I eventually beat her and add her to the peerage. After all, I'm one of the strongest devils of this generation. There's no way I could lose to a random nun. She'll be punished for her insolence once this is all over.
WHAM
"Ahh, fuck my face!!!" This bitch punched me. She shouldn't be that fast.
I need to put up my barriers.
POW
"Ahh fuck. Again? You bitch!"
"Shut your damned mouth."
She lunged in for another punch.
This time, I did get my barrier up.
CRACK
"Ahh fuck. What in the flying fuck is this bullshit? I'm the great Diadora Astaroth. Heir to the Astaroth clan. How can some lowly human…"
PUNCH
"I said shut up!"
How dare this bitch interupt me?!?!
"I'll torture you for a thousand years over this!!!!"
I threw a punch.
I only connected with a white barrier.
It fucking hurts.
Oh Satans, it burns.
"Was that supposed to hurt?"
Her return hit bruised my stomach.
I want to throw up.
She's way tougher than I thought. How dare she, a mere human, push me so hard in a fight. That's it, I'm calling in the peerage.
My lovely slaves come the second I call them. "Whoever beats her won't be punished."
My peerage knows to fear my punishments. The few who still haven't fully fallen to me will see reason with this. The rest obey without question.
My queen is a master of fire. Back when she still was in the church, she had mastered cleansing flames from the holy magics of the church. Now that she's under my loving care, she uses similar magic derived from her devil powers. She's still not been broken, despite being my first peerage member.
FWOOSH
Her fire blast missed? How?
"HAHH"
"Protect me Rook."
Castling is such a wonderful ability. To be able to swap positions with any of my rooks is invaluable. After all, what could possibly be more important than protecting your betters?
My rook went down. In one hit. I could have sworn they were actually strong. Shows what I get for believing in the strength of reincarnated devils.
Whatever, if she's that weak, who cares. I'll just trade her for someone better, and more comely. I think Riser might be willing to trade me one of his Rooks. Or I'll just beg father to make Ajuka give me a new piece.
The rest of my peerage started to attack. Various blasts of energy started being launched. My knights moved in with their swords. And yet, not a single one can fucking hit this slippery whore. They're failing so terribly that she hasn't even needed to take a single one down.
It's insulting. This peerage is one of the strongest among the young devil generation. Compare it to that loser Rias, who can't even control one of her bishops, or Sona's dumbass 'synergy' strategy. I have actual power on my side. Hell, Riser is weaker than me, and that guy can't go down normally.
"If you don't stop her in the next minute, I'll punish all of you!!!!"
The attacks intensified. Clearly my peerage isn't broken enough. I'll have to punish them anyway until they're nice and compliant.
"I'm sorry, but I must stop your master. Forgive me."
With that low apology, she started genuinely fighting my nuns. And they started falling.
First came the pawns. They may have been promoted, but this didn't help. You always go for the queen promotion.
It didn't matter. She beat them into unconsciousness instantly.
My singular bishop tried to hold her down with binding magic. That too failed before her incredible strength. And so they went down next.
My queen then stepped up.
"Burn."
Her fire couldn't even hurt her. A barrier appeared suddenly to nullify it.
A quick series of jabs and kicks took her out. I'm beginning to think my peerage is terrible at fighting.
Then she rushed me.
I castled once again to escape.
"Stop running, you coward!"
And there goes the last of my worthless peerage. Fucking sluts can't do anything right.
Why isn't this working? She shouldn't be this powerful. No human can have such massive power growth within such a small amount of time… That's it. My snake. My peerage is useless, so I'll just have to be stronger myself!
"With this power, I'll defeat you and claim what's mine!"
I launched my special technique, bladed barriers. An attack that's both offensive and defensive in nature, which is also ranged. The perfect counter to a melee fighter.
This finally had an effect.
She was pushed back.
I need to keep putting pressure on her. I can't let such a lovely morsel escape. Even if I can't claim her for my peerage, she's still a beautiful woman.
"Just give up! You can't defeat the scion of the Astaroth family, The house of Satan Beelzebub!"
I kept throwing more of my barriers at her. Even if that stupid barrier protects her, I'm still pushing her off balance. It'll have to break eventually.
All things crumble before Ophis' power.
It's gotta start cracking any second now.
Any second.
BOOOM
Briliant light started shooting out of her. Fuck, it hurt. Why does it hurt? I'm Diodora Astaroth, a high class devil. I'm above such petty things as the weaknesses of my race.
The light died down, showing. An Angel. An, angel that I can feel the power wafting off of.
What is this bullshit? This woman was human. She was human yesterday, and the day before that, and so on and so forth. And she still felt human, but someone had tacked on the state of angelhood onto her. It hurts my head thinking about it. Do angel's have their own evil pieces now, except they don't turn you into technically pure devils?
"I'm going to kill you. You lying rapist piece of shit. I thought you were different, you fucker."
Her power was spiking. Significantly. The holy power coming out of her was painful. Merely being in its presence made my body burn. Then another blast of light came out of her. I flew out of the church as my burns became much worse. I turned to look at my peerage. They, too, had been launched out, but they seemed, fine, somehow. How? That sudden burst of light should have killed them if it hurt me this much.
Then, in a flash, I could see my body. Was I decapitated? How did I not see it coming?
"Your reign of terror is over. No more women will suffer at your hand. To be used and abused until they're discarded the second the going gets tough. I hope you rot in whatever afterlife shitty devils like you get."
Looking at my slowly crumpling form, I finally figured out what was happening. I was set up. The church, they'd caught on to my scheme. This angel was clearly just a lookalike to the nun I was here for. They'd honey trapped me with a nun just to kill me. At least I was important enough for a concentrated effort to kill me. That's better than most modern devils get.
__________________________________________
(General PoV)
And so, Diodora Astaroth died with an unearned sense of importance. He did not know his death was the result of a drunk human wizard who knew nothing about him, or that the nature of this angel was something special. He did not know this moment would never be remembered for his death, but for something much grander to the world. He did not know that his parents would rejoice at his death, because he was obviously going to make a terrible heir to the Astaroth family.
Diodora Astaroth was destined to be a piece of trivia about a much more important event that was about to begin.
The priest for today's service got there seven minutes later. Diodora had planned this to further break his newest conquest, to have her be seen by her peer as he broke her in that most vile of ways, until eventually, he would kill the priest and take her to the underworld. But that didn't happen. What the priest saw was his old coworker, who was suddenly an angel next to the corpse of a devil in the parking lot of his church surrounded by unconscious nuns. He decided to call his superiors about what he was looking at.
What they discovered was shocking. A peerage of reincarnated devils that were no longer devils.
This was going to come to bite the one known as David in the ass, and he wouldn't even know he did anything because he was piss drunk.
-------------------------------------------------
A/N: So, this has been something I've been working on off and on for a while. Since like the year War of the Spark came out. It's gone through a ton of rewrites, replanning, and general work. It never really overtook my other works until I read a couple dxd stories over here. What really got me off my ass to complete chapter one was Tarkir Dragonstorm coming out. I drafted it on the fourth and had to suddenly leave because my dogs ran from home, so I thought "hey, I should finish that chapter to celebrate the new set." I then procrastinated the hell out of that, so its coming out today.Last edited: Aug 13, 2025 Like ReplyReport Reactions:MarcusDeGabriel, max90, ghostreaderm and 621 othersDarkchespinApr 10, 2025Add bookmarkView discussionThreadmarks Chapter 2 Hanging out with men of Culture New View contentDarkchespinAnaheim Electronics TechnicianJul 23, 2025Add bookmark#48Chapter 2 Hanging out with men of Culture
Trigger warning: Diodora gets discussed. You can extrapolate from there.
OWW.
Overshot that detoxify. Deoxygenated my blood for a minute.
I'm lucky I had an enchantment for that. Thank god, I've been to the Edge before. I'd have never thought to have a backup plan for no oxygen if it wasn't for the spaceship plane.
I need to start working on my control. It's been shot since…
I just need to work on my control. There's no use in thinking about it.
Not today though. Today, I'm hanging with the boys.
I've got time before then, but that's a few hours from now, with the buffer for their hangovers.
Which gives me more than enough time to get through therapy and work shit out for the end of the campaign without resorting to chronomancy. If you resort to chronomancy every time you're running out of time, you never learn time management. There's a reason Tolaria banned doing it on campus.
Whatever, focus on the therapy first. Lucky me that it's close to home.
Unlucky me, I'm American.
Not for reasons that are relevant or anything. It's entirely an annoyance thing. If I lived somewhere with decent public transport, I could reasonably teleport around without arousing much suspicion. If I avoided all the camera's, witnesses, and other issues relevant to hiding my magical abilities.
I live in Texas. We have the opposite of robust public transport. Okay, that's a bit of an exaggeration. I just live in suburbia, which limits my connection to it. I however, do own a car. Having affluent parents is pretty neat.
It is a piece of shit used mess though. My parents definitely could have gotten me something better, but they weren't affluent as kids. I think this was supposed to be a lesson on resourcefulness and budgeting, but well, I'm a pretty decent artificer.
I've replaced almost everything in that old clunker. Sure, it looks vaguely like the old car, I had to make sure it looked close enough to not arouse too much suspicion, but internally, it's extremely different. The engine runs on Aether now, for instance, along with the car being materially modified for better crumpling. While you could make one out of like darksteel or some shit, that would fail national standards for vehicle safety. Etherium however, is a much more fluid material that still keeps higher durability without sacrificing modern safety concerns. There are a couple other modifications to the car, but most of them aren't super relevant as they aren't normally turned on.
The drive itself is uneventful. Mostly because it's both short, and well maintained. Driving as an activity isn't really eventful unless you're doing a race, a long road trip with multiple stops, or in the middle of a war zone. I've done all three, but I'd only recommend doing a road trip. War zones aren't for the faint of heart, and races get competitive enough that they feel like the middle of a battle.
And now I'm here. Doctor Moroni's practice.
I've been going to this guy since I was eleven or so. Back then, I went to him for psychiatric reasons, which boiled down to getting ADHD medication. This arrangement worked out until the first time I "disappeared." It wasn't really the first time, I first sparked years before that, but I had found my way home within that day, so it worked out. I don't know why I found my second walk to be so easy when most others I know struggled far more with it. That's just one of those annoying things I haven't found a good answer for.
But, that changed when I ended up seeing the crisis era of the multiverse. New Phyrexia, the Eldrazi, Nicol Bolas' bullshit. All that started kicking up, and I had not shown back up here for like a month straight. My parents obviously noticed that and assumed I was kidnapped or something. When I showed back up, they made me get therapy for underlying trauma.
Doctor Moroni is also a therapist, so it didn't really change my schedule or anything. This was the best thing that could have happened in my parent's eyes, given I already had a rapport with him. I never told him what happened for obvious reasons. I'm not going to a psych ward for spouting things I know to be true.
"Hello David."
"Hello, Dr. Let's get this over with."
"How are you doing today?"
"Fine. I went to a party yesterday."
"And did that go well?"
"I socialized and drank. That's good enough for me."
"At least you're socializing again. You haven't been doing that often since the incident." The incident was how he referred to the two-week-long period I vanished two years ago. Which was technically wrong. I hadn't been on Earth for a solid 3 months. They just weren't aware due to my illusionary clone standing in for me. I'd pioneered that spell entirely to make my parents not worry when I go off world. It has the ability to physically back up its memories for as long as it still had energy to sustain it, which I absorb into myself once I'm back. The illusion itself was by all physical measures a real being, unlike most illusions. I learned that trick from Pol Jaamar.
"I guess so."
"Are you ready to talk about it?"
"No." That was when the War of the Spark happened, and more than anything I don't want to think about it.
"You're never going to heal if you keep ignoring what happened."
"I'm not ignoring it. I'm incapable of ignoring it. Every day I'm reminded of what happened. I'll never wash away what was done. What I did..." I need to control myself. I don't want to lose it here. Dr. Moroni doesn't deserve me snapping. He's a good person, unlike me.
"That's more information than you've given me in the past two years."
"That's all you're getting."
"Let's change the subject. How's that volunteer opportunity been going?"
"We finished cleaning up the site, so I don't have to do it again." This wasn't a lie. I was volunteering, just not anywhere around here. I've been spending a lot of free time helping to transport the dead from the War to their home planes. It's the least I could do considering… Well, they didn't deserve to be turned to mulch by the Golgari.
"What was the name of the organization again?"
"GenerateGood. We were cleaning up an illegal dumpsite because the governement wouldn't do it." Technically, I'd been doing this too. Well, the clone had been doing it, but given we fuse together whenever I return, it was basically me doing it.
"Hmmm that's not a church aligned group."
"So?"
"It's just surprising that you didn't go for a church one given your father."
"I don't see your point. Dad quit the seminary to pursue a career in medicine. He's never forced us to go to church or anything, either."
"Huh. I'm surprised. I knew him back then, and he was one of the more devout members." I wanted to be surprised by the fact Dr. Moroni and my dad went way back, but I'm not. We get way too good a price on my visits for anything else to make sense.
"He does go to church. The rest of the family isn't required to. At least until grandma moved in. She's the one who won't stop badgering us into going."
"On his side of the family?"
"No, my mother's. I'm pretty sure his mom died when I was young."
"How about your medication? Is it still going strong."
"It's been working fine." I was only diagnosed with ADHD. I'd almost been diagnosed with depression and PTSD, but the test results came back negative for it. No need to fiddle with my brain chemistry for those results like I'd planned to.
"That's good. Do you have plans for the summer and beyond?"
"I'm going on a trip across Europe for a month with the family."
"That's good. Is there anywhere specific you're excited to go?"
"I'm not sure. I left most of the planning to my parents." That's entirely due to my lacking knowledge about Earth. I can point stuff out on a map, and cite history within the past 400 years, but beyond that I'm blind. I know jack shit culturally, which is infinitely more important than direct historical knowledge. My lacking understanding of pop culture is going to make this super awkward if one of the places is important to some old legend. I'll be the one person who has no idea what they're talking about.
If only the legends were related to any other plane I've been to. I can cite Gruul belief by heart, the tenets of Avacyn's church, or the intricacies of the church of Serra's Song of All, but the minute I get asked about any religion around here, I falter. I know Christians believe there's a single god, and he incarnated and died to forgive people. Anything more specific than that, I can't tell you.
Oh wait, there was the guy I was named after killing a tall dude with a rock and the fish duplicator.
He put his hand to his chin. "If you're in the area, visit Vatican City. It's a rather nice place I've been there a few times myself."
"I'll make note of that."
"I think we can end the session here." That's oddly early.
I'm not going to look this gift horse in the mouth, however. Someone opened the door from the other side.
Huh, it's Sister Claire. I wonder what she's doing here. I gave her a wave as we walked passed each other.
Whatever the case is, good on her for taking care of her mental health.
____________________________________________________________________________
POV Sister Claire
"Thank you for coming, sister. Michael wants you to go through some cursory therapy before speaking to him. I'm Doctor Moroni. I'm like you, an angel who was once a man."
He exposed his ten wings.
"This is a safe space. Most things are weaker than me and you, and the ones which are stronger wouldn't attack us here in fear of Heaven's retribution."
I sat down. "Will this help?"
"I can't say for sure. Modern therapy and its associated disciplines are new by my standards. Keeping up with it is a challenge, but so far it has worked better than older methods of counseling."
"I meant would this make me feel better right now?"
"That's up to you. It might not, but this will be something we come back to. You will heal, I can promise you that much. I can't promise how long that will take."
I looked down "Where should I start?"
"Wherever you feel like starting."
"I don't know where to start. This has been the weirdest day of my life. Disregarding what Ive seen, what I've been through, which seems Impossibly hard to do, I mean I've become an Angel. That was my dream once, back when I was a child in the convent's orphanage, before reality shattered that dream. I not sure if it I'm making it sound as though it ruined my life, which it totally didn't."
I looked right at him "I did stay on to become a nun. They were what helped me through it all, so I stayed, unlike the rest of the girls my age. All two of them.
It was during that training we got definitive proof of God and his angels. From there we were trained in combat. I… flunked out. I never had the fight in me, and that's okay. No one thought less of me for that."
"I'm sensing hesitation there."
"Now I think less of myself for that. I was an idiot who believed everything was all hunky-dory. I let myself believe devils could be good people. Shows what I know."
I could feel my wings pulse out of my body at the admission. I knocked over a shelf.
"S-sorry." Crud.
"It's fine, nothing here is irreplaceable. Was that everything?"
"No. After I finished learning to be a normal nun, I was put here. Somewhere they called 'safe,' and 'bum-heck nowhere.' And it was for a solid six months. That's that's when Dio... No that's when the Shit-stain showed up."
"And?"
"I let myself be carried along with his stupid bullshit. That he wasn't an evil man. That the church was teaching outdated things. And, it worked. I kept believing him. Until he tried…"
He spoke softly "You don't have to go into details if you aren't ready. We can stop for now if it's too much."
"There's not that many details. He held me down, tried stripping me, and then I suddenly broke free with strength I'd never had before that moment. And I kicked his ass, his peerage's ass, and killed him. The end."
"You didn't pray for salvation?"
"I didn't have time to do that. One second I was held down, The next I'd thrown him into a wall."
"So the Angel transition just happened? No warning, no word of god entering your ear?"
"No. It just happened later in the fight."
"So the sudden boost in strength wasn't the angelic power?"
"I don't know. It might have been? I didn't sprout wings until he started spouting shit about being the heir to house Astaroth and using Ophis' power."
"Wait, he said Ophis' power? That name specifically?"
"Yeah, he mumbled something about it. He said a lot of stuff he probably didn't intend to. That's the only reason I felt bad for his peerage. They're victims like me.
Is Ophis important?"
"Yes. Which means I have to report this session to Michael. I hate breaking doctor-patient confidentiality."
"I thought you were going to do that anyway?"
"What? No. That's not what was going to happen. Michael already knows the report you gave earlier, and neither of us was expecting anything earth-shattering to be mentioned. This was supposed to be an initial therapy session where you could get out some of your emotions in a controlled environment before Michael starts grilling you on becoming an angel. And hugging you." He put his hand on the back of his neck. "He's a big softie."
"Is the session over?"
"If you want it to be. Just report to heaven."
"I uhh don't know how to do that."
"All Angels know how to go to heaven. I knew the second I was returned from the dead as an angel."
"When was that?"
"Sometime around 400 AD. It's been a while since then, so I can't be more specific."
"Wait, aren't you the angel from the Book of Mormon?" I hadn't realized it before, but I did vaguely know of Mormonism. I just assumed it was wrong because of how random its introduction of christians to early America was.
"Kinda? The Book of Mormon is inaccurate. I did give that guy some plates about where the Nephites went, but he didn't translate it right. The land they went to wasn't America. It was Mu. The plates were just the last piece of evidence that my people existed, and God told me to hide them in America until someone found them. Joseph Smith happened to dig them up, so I told him to translate them. He messed up a bit, I think it was the Rye bread, but he got enough right and some Devils started acting up which was deemed more important. I still have the plates."
He pulled out one of the golden plates.
"Ahh, I still remember writing them."
He put them away wherever he got them from. His eyes were tearing up.
"That's beside the point. What do you mean you don't know how to get to heaven?"
"I don't know where it is."
"You can teleport to it. There are other ways to get there, but Angels like us can freely come and go with nary a thought."
He disappeared.
Am I alone? I don't want to be alone.
"See, it's that easy."
Oh, he was just demonstrating how that worked.
"I think I get it." I only vaguely understand how my powers work. I've only had them for a couple of hours, after all, it'd be weird if I immediately understood how they worked. Seeing him teleport, I sort of understand what's going on.
"Sister, Are you ready to go to Heaven?"
"Yes."
Heaven itself was immaculate. The place was less cloudy than I imagined, but the building in front of us felt Holy. It looked like a humble shrine you'd see in the early days of Christianity, instead of a modern church. The only difference was the size, it looked to be the size of mega churches despite its humble appearance. It emanates this golden glow that is comforting.
This place felt safe, like a warm hug.
"This is the sixth heaven, Zebel. Normally, only Seraphs are allowed here. We're exceptions to that rule."
"The Seraphs stay here? Incredible."
The path leading to the building was simple stone. Smooth enough to not cause discomfort, but it wasn't specially patterned or anything.
Inside was just as plain. No large decorations, just walls with simple iconography.
"Michael will be in the garden."
"There's a garden?"
"Michael doesn't like to meet in an office. They're too bland and impersonal for him."
Said garden was lovely. There are a ton of different flowers. I recognized a few varieties of roses, blue bonnets, and a few lilies, but the vast majority of them were new to me. The garden itself had water flowing through it between various patches of flowers, with the occasional spurt of water that presumably kept the garden hydrated.
"Peace be with you, Sister." Michael himself was glorious. He gave off an aura of strength you couldn't ignore. Moroni's earlier flare felt small compared to this.
"Ahh, uhh, lord Michael…" oh god, what do I say?
"Relax. You are among family now. Moroni mentioned you had news?"
"Yeah, someone called Ophis gave Diodora their power? It didn't change much…"
Micheal's face turned serious.
"I see. That is serious news. Did he mention working for any specific faction or the like?"
"Nothing beyond being the heir to the Astaroth clan."
He grimaced "Great. Just what we needed, a Satan's family stirring up trouble when we are so close to a peace treaty. Well, it's not like we can do anything about it right now."
He lightened his mood.
"We should focus on the good that's come of this. A new member of our family has come. We should celebrate what we have gained."
"Is it so rare that we must celebrate?" From what I knew, angels came about once every few years. This shouldn't be so exciting.
"Michael, I think we should talk about it. The rest of the Angels know." Moroni was giving the archangel a look of guilt?
"Alright. I need you to prepare yourself first." We were suddenly sitting at a table overlooking the garden.
"What is this about?"
"Your existence is more important than you can possibly imagine." Michael said.
"Because I'm the most recent angel God made from a person?" If Moroni was right and he was the last one, it would have been over a millennium since this had happened.
"Yes. Because that shouldn't be possible."
"Why would it be impossible?"
"Father's gone."
"What do you mean gone?"
"He died defeating the original Satans and their armies."
God's dead? What? How? Huh?
"But prayer still works, and the sacred gears are still going strong. There's no way he can be gone."
"I've been running Heaven's system. Not perfectly, there's a ton of bugs now. I'm not built for it, but I'm trying to keep Father's will alive."
"What's that have to do with me?"
"God was the only one who could make angels. The system doesn't have the ability to make more of us. Every new angel you've seen is the result of very careful rituals used to allow the conception of an angel. This included the ability to ascend people into angels."
Wait what? "But, I'm an Angel."
"Yes. That's big. Gods don't die the way others do. They can be brought back by faith. For the first century, we assumed Father was reforming. We only found out later all the faith in him was going to keeping Heaven running. It took forever to truly believe he was gone, but eventually we accepted it. Moved on. We're working on an equivalent to evil pieces to plug the hole, but that might not be needed now."
Moroni looked elated "Because he might already be back!"
"Yes, Moroni, Father might return."
Moroni started jumping on the spot like an exited child. "I told you it would happen! Yahwehs coming home."
Micheal turned to me. "There was literally zero evidence his return could even happen. No matter how much I wished for it, I had to be realistic."
"Hah, I was right." Moroni was still doing his thing
"Yes, okay we get it. You win."
"But God said nothing to me. There was no warning, no grand trumpets heralding his return."
"Really? Father isn't normally like that. He's as subtle as a freight train. The most quiet he's ever been was the time he created a new species of bush just to set one of them on fire in front of Moses."
Moroni finally stopped hopping on the spot. "She told me that when I asked about it as well."
"He might have changed. I can feel her power, it far exceeds what a two winged angel should have."
"Really?"
"It's closer to what an eight or ten winged angel has. That might explain some other weird things. Her activation didn't come up in the system. It only fully took hold when she entered your appointment, Moroni." Wait, Moroni has ten. What?
"Are you suggesting God redesigned everything and then didn't affect us at all? What, did he come back without his memories?"
"Maybe. We haven't seen sight of him until now, who's to say he didn't choose to live among the humans?
Regardless of the how, or why, Father's likely…"
DUN DUN.
"What's that, are we under attack?"
"No. It's the devils. They're calling about the death of a pillar heir."
Michael took the call.
"Serafall, how are you doing today?"
"You do realize that this heir of yours was in our territory trying to rape one of our people?"
"What do you mean you didn't know? That's Ajuka's brother. He's been doing that shit for years, apparently."
"Sorry, cousin. Still an important family member of his clan. Your inability to know what your people are doing is why no one takes devils seriously."
"I wasn't expecting him to do it. The man hasn't left a lab in 30 years. I was expecting you or Sizerechs to do it."
"What do you mean, it is not your job? Your heirs reflect on your species. How haven't you figured this out yet in the 500 years you've had the job?"
"Then hire more staff. Or does the fact you have peerages make you forget that a labor force exists?"
"Fine, but I'm not accepting your apology. You'll be apologizing to the victim yourself."
"Yes, Gabriel will be there. I am not leaving her alone with the likes of you right now."
"No, you can't bring your peerage. The meeting will be in one week. Goodbye."
He hung up.
"Sorry about that, I really can't stand that ridiculous woman sometimes. That was some politics I had to take care of. You must be tired. Moroni will show you where to rest here."
____________________________________________________________________________
They gazed upon the fearsome dragon. It's scales glistening a dull purple. The dragon had a snake-like head with fangs more reminiscent of tusks than teeth. The dragon itself appeared fat, as though it had overeaten. It was covered in bones, as though wearing a mockery of jewelry. Its leathery wings had multiple tears in it.
Spoiler: Ruthless Deathfang
This was a dragon of the Silugmar Brood. The acid breathers of relentless greed. One of the clans broken in the wake of an impossible choice made by powerful beings beyond their understanding from a future in desperate need of saving. All hinging on the life of a single being.
They didn't know the consequences of their actions, of the pain this world would experience when the reforged fate. Of how the peoples of this world would lose parts of themselves. Of their cultures losing so much, in exchange for the life of one dragon.
One would make himself a paradox, a man who was never born. He didn't care for the consequences, all he cared for was the dragons, and in this new day, they still roamed the world. The other would hate himself for what had happened. Even if he respected the dragon they'd saved, no matter what he'd learned from him, it still stung. The destruction of the old Tarkir would haunt him. In his mind, he ran through the situation again and again, looking for something else, a third option, but there was none.
In the end, the old Tarkir had to be sacrificed. The clans would be sacrificed. The honored spirits of the Abzan, the fire within the Jeskai, the honor of the Mardu, the respect for nature the Sultai once held, and the Temur's connection to the spirits and the elements, all of that would be sacrificed for the salvation of every world beyond this one. After all, wasn't the fate of a single world meaningless compared to the fate of everything?
Very little of this mattered to the group facing the dragon. This was backstory no one had to know, that no one could know.
One was a whisperer, a mage of ancient Temur understanding, one still connected to the spirits and the elements. Another, a raider of Kolohagan's brood, taught in the old ways of Dakla an ancient practice of archery weaved together with magic combined with the new ways of riding the lightning. The third a monk who'd found the heretical knowledge of the fires and ran from the monasteries of Ojutai, and the last was one who'd found a kin tree and moved on from Dromoka's tyrannical rule to follow the way of the spirit seekers, the last of the people who follow the way of ancestor worship.
Together, these four would brave a fierce battle against this tyrannical foe.
The archer was mounted upon a horse, kiting between the poisonous breath of the dragon. Their arrows coated in lightning struck true upon the wing joints, causing the beast to lose control of its flight. It crashed before the monk who channeled the Bloodfire, the rage of the injustices of this world held until this moment released in one concentrated strike aimed at the poison glands in the throat. Then the Temur brought forth an elemental manifestation of a mammoth and trampled over the creature.
Alan finger pointed at me. "How do you come up with this stuff? First Curse of Strahd, and now this?"
"I didn't write Curse of Strahd. You literally saw the book,"
"Yeah, but no one's seen that one anywhere besides this group. I asked about it online." That's because this plane has terrible tabletop books. Why does the primary DnD clone have like 40 pages for a sex mechanic in the main player's guide? Save that for a third party book written under a pseudonym. Like fuck, it was so overly detailed and try-hard, it somehow wrapped back around to being the most clinical and least sexy thing I've ever read.
Not even Kinks and Cantrips, which is literally a DnD book that adds smutty sex acts to the game, is so distasteful about it. That book is written to educate about sex things and the like, so it puts effort into actually trying to portray more taboo sex acts with a healthy attitude. Our DnD is such a shitshow it feels fundamentally hollow.
"It's just an obscure OGL thing. It probably just went under everyone's radar. There's a couple new TTRPGs and third party supplements every year."
Alan looked at his sheets "Fine, but this campaign. That's all you."
"Yes. I did write this one."
Sven looked at me. "How does a world like this happen? What does it take to create something like this?"
"I just make some stuff up and logically connect it with connective tissue ideas." Really, I was just writing what I knew, but they didn't need to know that. Admittedly, I mixed in a bit of what I want of Tarkir in the future, but that's fine. I've seen a bit of it in the Endless Song, and I'm relatively sure some of what I hope for will come. At least, I'm as sure as future sight allows me to be, which is not as foolproof as I'd like.
Jason looked hyped for the next session already. "But it feels so real dude. That can't be the whole story."
"What do you want me to say? That I'm secretly a being which can travel to different worlds, and used a world I've traveled to as the backdrop for a campaign? That's ridiculous. It's just a lot of work to write out how a world works and to create plot hooks you'll be attracted to. It's a process which is hard to describe." I would know. I have a campaign I wrote entirely by myself. It just wasn't ready before session zero, so I just used my Tarkir backup plan.
Sven spoke. "So when's the next session?"
"Sometime in July. I'll be out of the country for a month."
Dereck looked a little disappointed at that. "Ahh really man? I want to do more of this before college."
"We'll finish before college, trust me. There's only like one or two planned sessions left, so like four actual sessions. That is more than enough time with our once a week schedule."
Jason looked like he remembered something. "By the way did you guys hear there's going to be a convention on Friday?"
Sven turned towards him. "Really Jay? Wouldn't we have heard about it?"
"They just decided on it earlier today, Sven."
"That's very weird. Is anyone big coming?"
"A couple of people I recognize, but the weird thing is they're all primarily employed by one media group."
"Yeah, Sitri entertainment group right? They're the ones who started the con right?"
"No. It's some other one. Leviathan Works or something. It's weird as hell man."
"Isn't that the one with the really bad porn parodies?" Jason of course piped up with degenerate shit like always.
"Jason, how does every conversation we have mention porn? That's weird man."
"No that's Sitri, they make a literal crapton of the stuff. The thing is a lot of the actors get shared around a lot despite supposedly having exclusivity contracts."
"Dereck, I expected better from you."
"David you know I fall down all sorts of rabbit holes, Porn and Mainstream media backroom deals isnt remotely the weirdest thing you've heard me talk about."
"It's just porn man."
"No, you're talking about corporate information connected to pornography. That's fucking weird man. Like knowing who does what is almost excusable, that's just being aware of genre stuff. But this? You need a girlfriend my guy.
Actually scratch that. You need to touch grass first. I wouldn't want a woman to have to deal with whatever emotional crisis led to you caring to learn that."
"Wait then what's Leviathan Works' deal?" Jason, stop engaging in the porn antics.
"I can't believe it's not porn."
I gave Dereck a slight glare.
"What I meant was Leviathan Works makes live action versions of popular animated genre pieces. They're generally dog water story wise, but the special effects are pretty good."
"Ok th-"
"Also it's soft core porn, I wasn't joking David."
"Ok so it's all porn then. I lose respect for you every time you open your mouth."Last edited: Aug 28, 2025 Like ReplyReport Reactions:AWatcherSan, ghostreaderm, Kido5217 and 522 othersDarkchespinJul 23, 2025NewAdd bookmarkView discussionThreadmarks Chapter 3: Baby's first comic-con clone New View contentDarkchespinAnaheim Electronics TechnicianAug 11, 2025Add bookmark#79Honestly, the worst part about nearly every Earth, including this one, not having magic is that I can't just openly teleport places. Sure, teleportation is a very hard spell, and planeswalking in and out of a plane is much easier, but I don't like walking any more than the next guy. I only ever leave out of a sense of duty now. I met people during the war, I feel responsible for helping to bury the dead. It's my fault they are gone.
…
Point is, I can't be obvious with magic. That's a bit stifling when you have been learning millions of spells over the course of your lifetime, but that's the way life goes sometimes.
There is one thing that you can somewhat use, though. Artifacts. In my mind, I think of the wonders of Kaladesh and Mirrodin, but they can be as vague as lanterns or a hand saw. While most of the artifacts that could help me get somewhere faster are either obviously not normal or would make me commit crime, there are ways around that. Mainly, you can make spells from a lot of strange things. I, however, do understand how to make something truly special.
That's why I can make a sick car with a ton of functionality. It's technically possible for a normal person to do that. Anything more gets into a realm of constant complication and explanation I don't want to deal with right now.
But for all the power of an incredibly advanced car, it can't overcome one hurdle.
Traffic.
I just barely got here at like 10:20. I'm not late or anything, but I am sure my friends are already inside.
I should probably call my friends. I'm too far from the front of the line to see them.
"David, where are you? We've been waiting for like 45 minutes."
"I was stuck in traffic and almost forgot to be here. I'm still in the bag checking line."
"Just get to the game demos as soon as you get here. There's some intriguing indie games here."
"I'll be there."
This line is possibly the slowest thing I have ever seen, and I have used time magic to make someone move at like a millionth of their real speed. It gives me time to look at the cosplayers, I guess. It's kinda funny how I can just look at some of these people and just automatically know how viable the armor would be. There's a guy over there that is dressed like some form of knight. The style used as a reference is definitely romanticized. It could take a couple hits, but that wouldn't be good against any actual fighting force. The mobility is too highly limited for it to work.
It's good as cosplay, though. Especially when I can tell it overcomes its weight issues by being made of cardboard. You made a great Kellam costume. You go knight man, have the time of your life.
There were like three different Batmen, and a Batgirl. That's just how conventions go. More popular characters get multiple repeats, but the obscure ones are either Sir Not-Appearing-at-this-Convention or have just the one person who dressed as the character.
Speaking of obscure characters, next to me is some girl dressed up as … I don't know. I think that's from some magical girl anime, but I'm not sure. It's not my genre. Ironic given that I am a mage of great power, but those shows just go so far over the top in all the wrong ways. The spells are wack or just plot convenience, there isn't any real studying of how to magic like you would normally have to because everyone's a prodigy or something.
Then again, in the vast infinitude of the multiverse, there is probably some plane out there which has magical girl stuff be the norm.
I shudder to think at how that society would have even come to be.
There has to be something wrong with me now that I think about it. I'm knowledgeable about comic characters and some games, but lord forbid I try to remember anyone from fairytales. I literally only know Earth mythology as it relates to comic books. Thor's a superhero in my mind instead of a god in the Celtic pantheon or whatever. No, wait, it's the Norse pantheon because it is like Kaldheim, and that was described to me as Nordic at some point. I need help.
Waiting in the line is something I could skip, but I won't. I don't see the point of doing that. The line to get into conventions is part of the experience, and skipping it ruins that. I'm not in that much of a rush to hang out with my friends.
I'm bored.
Screw it, I'll talk to people. The magical girl seems like she is an attention seeker.
"Hi. What are you cosplaying?"
She looked at me with evident surprise. "Oh, I'm cosplaying a character from Magical Girl Milky Spiral Seven."
Milky? God, I hope that's not porn, you never know here. Don't look surprised that people are talking to you. We're all nerds here. Someone will complement your accuracy to the source material.
"Huh, I've never heard of that one. Is it worth watching?"
"YES!" Ok, loud.
"Cool, I've been working on a list of stuff to watch recently, so I guess that's on the list now."
I pulled out the little notebook I had for catching up on the pop culture of my Earth and added the series to my list. I also had included media that was older and shaped earlier culture but had never gotten around to consuming. I wanted more context than my illusion gave me.
I had something called Drag So-Ball on the list, and I swear to God, I thought it was called Dragon Ball before I started making the list. I guess that had to be something on a different plane, or I was getting hit with the Mandela effect. Or it could be me mixing up stuff from other earths. Why is my plane the only accessible one with a billion copies?
"You have any other anime suggestions? My friends are big on it, and I wish to understand their weird references."
"Wish upon the Pleiades, Pure White Lover Bizarre Jelly, and Cute Medic Magical Star Solider."
Wait, we got Pleiades? How? Subaru isn't a car brand over here. Who did Gainax partner with to produce it?
"I can give you some more obscure series in exchange for that information."
"Oh like what?"
"Let me look at what I got in my bag." Which means secretly create some series and give it to her.
So what to make. This girl likes magical girls, so definitely the full box set of Sailor Moon. Which version though, crystal or original? Fuck it, why not both. And Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha would also be pretty good. That's just magical girl mecha which is definitely good. Also, could give her Madoka Magica as well to ruin her day when she watches it. Yeah, it hurts, but it hurts good.
I'm not giving her my copies, though. I need them for rewatching.
So, I'll just duplicate them. It's not difficult to replicate an item I already have. Especially when it's something as simple as a bunch of DVDs.
"Here you go."
"Do you just, have those on you all the time?"
"Maybe."
"Please come through the bag check." Sweet, the line is done.
Naturally, one would think I should be worried about having my bag checked given it contains a bunch of stuff I've collected on my travels, but that ignores how this bag works. I've spent a long time working on my bag of holding. I found one on an adventure once and set about to try and make a better one, the one I found had issues with nesting dimensions and other objects like itself and would dump items out of itself if turned over like a regular bag. It could also be stolen from.
I fixed all of those issues, and it only took a couple of months reading through every major library of magic institutions I knew of. That took, like, a couple of days in real time if I remember right. Time magic and illusion clones are stupidly useful.
If I was somewhere where magic was a thing, I had more complicated systems to get through customs. Most of them required active input from me to activate because, well, focusing on the bag means they don't focus on you. I don't do them here because, well, everyone has no clue what magic is. You'd have to be actually pretty good to even notice my bag being weird, and well, we have so few magic users I'd never heard of them before. In a world that had the internet. There's no goddamn way magic exists here. Besides my fellow planeswalkers anyway, but we're exceptions to many rules.
Now where exactly are my friends?
I'm just going to call Jason. He is the only one who would actually pick up the phone.
"Jason, where the hell are you guys? This place is massive."
"We are near the end towards a sign saying Summerbolt Entertainment."
"Cool, thanks. They make any interesting games?"
"Well, the booth is showing off a 4-player fantasy combat game. I know you aren't into fantasy that much, but it looks great."
He's mistaken. I do like fantasy, but the genre used to occasionally set off bad memories of my previous adventures. I just can't explain that to anyone.
"Hey, don't leave me!" Man, cons are loud.
"Jason, I don't hate fantasy that much."
"You always complain about how they portray magic in fantasy."
"And those works could do more than show a levitating feather or piss beams that look worse than the special effects on Orcatwister. The rest are just artistic decisions that I understand.I see the sign. I'll be over in a couple of minutes." I'm a wizard, I literally can't help but get mad at this stuff.
"Get back here!"
"Is everyone there already?"
"Yeah, why were you late anyway?"
"Jason, I wasn't that late. I got stuck in traffic."
"Oh sorry no. Sven was trying to show me some guys with really great Monty Python and the Holy Grail cosplays"
"Yeah. Has Summerbolt made anything else?"
"Everything they make is usually fantasy stuff, my guy."
"Is it at least more creative with the magic than bigger beam or fireball #5?"
"Oh yeah. I think they included grease."
"Oh, this has to be good, then. We've played enough D&D to know how stupid shit like grease can be."
I also know how to cast some similar spells myself. I remember greasing away this thug's knife when she tried to mug me on Kaladesh. That woman's face was one of the funniest things I've ever seen in my life.
Kicks in the shin or like taps in a demanding manner.
"Ow" Did she just kick me, wow, this girl is rude. "The hell was that for?" My phone was on silent, but I could feel it go off repeatedly.
"We need to talk, mister."
"I'm in the middle of a conversation with my friend. Can you please leave me alone?"
"Levi-tan can't wait." she made a pose out of an anime.
Is she trying to look threatening or something? That's kinda cute in a puppy way. It can't hurt you, but it can try to look like it can.
"Your dedication to the act is cool and all, but can we just cut to the chase of what you want? I want to go hang out with my friends."
And now she is trying to look even more threatening.
"Levi-tan says you can't cast spells in public."
"What? Are you okay? Are you high or something? Magic isn't real." Magical Girl shows like Yu Gi Oh aren't real.
This is a trap, if she says otherwise that means she is a planeswalker or is actually insane. If she pulls it back into her act, then she's fucking with me, or is playing with me. This doesn't really help, but it narrows it down.
"You were subtle, so I'm not angry." She put her hands together and did a pose. "Levi-tan barely noticed it herself, but don't use this in public again."
Is she stupid? I literally haven't cast anything while here. Like, her tone is telling me, 'yep, I'm a planeswalker,' but the content of her speech said she's dumb.
"What set you off? I've done no magic so far, but." I then pulled a quarter out from her ear. "I could start."
"That's not what I meant. Your locket. Might be best to hide the transformation brooch." Am I wearing a locket right now?
Oh yeah, I am.
It was an Izzet locket, meant to enhance someone's available mana by pulling in the lockets' mana into your own. I guess she's confusing the automatic mana transference the locket provides with a spell. But, since this is Izzet hardware, I can bullshit that it's science.
"It's just a bunch of energy moving around this thing. It's harmless and not magical." I discharged it this morning. It won't be an issue until 3 or something, and that's if I don't just discharge it into myself.
"Don't lie to me. I know magical energy when I feel it." Well, shit. I tried.
"Alrighty then. I'd recommend you leave this plane, there is nothing of value here. Nowhere near enough mana to use. No interesting artifacts. It's a waste of your time. Go to Zendikar or Ravnica if you want fun."
"Is that a threat?" The fuck?
I could feel a bit of confusion coming off her. Funny thing about mentalists, we're terrible at turning the telepathy off until we master the subject. It's way easier to train yourself to only read the bare minimum of people's feelings. I still slipped up from time to time, leading to situations like this. Not that I needed that to see the confusion in her eyes. This is either her homeplane, or her first walk. Or she has never heard of Ravnica or Zendikar. Not impossible, but highly unlikely. The Earths are so far out in the multiverse's boonies that no one ever goes here, especially this one.
"No, it's a cost benefit analysis. I only stay here because I was born here. No one else should feel forced to be here otherwise. Why are you even here anyway? This is the most mundane thing imaginable. Shits more boring than anything you can do on Archivos.
"Besides, If I wanted to threaten you, I would have just told you to leave this world and never return if you liked being able to do literally anything for the rest of your natural life."
"Levi-tan never disappoints her fans!"
"Okay… I'm just going to leave. I'm too tired to deal with this."
Weird naming convention, similar to Kamigawan culture. Is she from there? Spent long periods there? Maybe this earth just feels pretty similar to her home? Which is kinda sad.
Who cares? Not me.
I'm here to be with friends. As long as the planet doesn't blow up, I don't care.
"Sorry, Jason, some weeb kept doing the chunni shit."
"Are you talking about your girlfriend or someone else? Actually, do you even know what chunni means?"
"No, but based on what I've heard from Sven and Alan. I'm just assuming it means someone obsessed with anime decided to annoy me. Also, what do you mean girlfriend?"
"Really? People not in a friend group talking to each other at a convention? What's that, this mystery person is a girl? Who's obviously vying for your attention in a skimpy outfit? Make up a more convincing story, man."
"First off, she's a cosplayer. You can't read into a cosplayers intentions off their outfit. That's convention 101. Second off, I literally met her in the line to get into the hall. I don't even know her name, and she's hopefully going to leave me alone now."
"She's still waiting for you."
I turned over to look where he's pointing.
And there she is looking annoyed at me. What's her problem?
"We'll leave you two lovebirds alone. It's nice to see you getting out there after Samantha."
And there went my friends. Leaving me to the whims of yet another manic girl. Last time this happened, I got engaged.
I still can't return to Muerrata because of that.
She's pouting. "Stop ignoring me."
She froze my feet to the floor. Hmm, there wasn't mana usage. Probably a racial trait then. Interesting, I thought she was human.
"Can we not do this in public? I've carefully crafted a reputation and I don't want you messing it up."
She did a twirl on the spot, pointed at me and spoke. "I can't let you leave as the miracle magical girl of the Maous!" I could vaguely tell this should be a tense confrontation, but my instincts weren't worried. Not that they're particularly trustworthy. Surviving the Eldrazi and the War of the Spark really fucks up your understanding of danger.
"Fine."
If we're not moving, I'll put up some illusions. Lucky us that this part of the hall was practically deserted. The vendors who claimed the booths aren't here yet. Or they didn't get anyone for them. This was a last minute con, after all.
The illusion itself was simple. Merely making it look like we weren't here and making sure what we say can't be heard. I could also make us intangible for added effect, but that'd probably just spook her, which wouldn't help given how tense everything is.
"Now we can talk freely. What do you want?"
She looked a little lost, like I should know what's wrong here.
"No spells or I'll punish you in the name of the Maou!" Isn't it the name of the moon, or is that just in that one Magical Girl show Moon Phase? Sven might know he watches stuff like, that I think he's in the middle of World of Magic Serabenia right now.
"You're the one who started casting spells. Get off your high horse."
"The locket."
"It generates mana. That's it. There's no spell casting here."
"Uh-huh. And the bag?"
"It's just an enlarged bag on the inside. Wait, why am I even telling you this? You have zero authority here."
"I'm Maou Leviathan."
"Cool. I have no idea what that means or why I should care about that."
She just looked at me. Dumbstruck.
"You're a magician."
"Among other things."
"How do you not know, then?"
"Existence is a very big place. Thinking everyone should know who you are is the height of foolishness."
"But..."
"Just accept I don't know who you are. It's not that hard."
"Fine." She huffed.
No matter the species, people often fall into the same couple of flaws. Pride being one of them. It's annoying and comes up seventy percent of the time I meet someone important.
At this point, it doesn't even surprise me anymore. And I have a very specific playbook for dealing with that.
It's called apologizing for my ignorance and trying to be nicer to them.
"I get it, I hurt your pride. You're clearly used to being the center of attention back home, but this isn't your home. I don't doubt whatever you're famous for is important, but there are always going to be people out of the loop. I'm one of them."
She gave a weird look of contemplation.
"It's alright." She spoke calmly.
"So we cool?"
"No. You're going to hang out with me."
That's… well, it's not that bad a deal. She's definitely chilling out now, and my friends have already abandoned me under the impression we're dating.
"Can you give me a second to change into something that's vaguely cosplay looking? I'm underdressed."
"I'd love to." Weird, but okay.
The question is what was worth wearing. There were quite a few outfits I'd picked up over the years. Stuff like various suits of armor, a lot of more casual clothing for blending in across the multiverse, and various mage robes among a lot more specifically odd outfits. The main issue is whether I should try and vaguely pair with her outfit or not. If I try to, I don't know what I'm trying to do. I have zero genre knowledge about magical girl series outside of Yu-Gi-Oh.
If I don't, well we look like a weird couple, which is what I'm trying to avoid.
Ehh, I don't think it's that relevant. I'll go with a nice set of power armor. T-51 fits best here. We had a game series that was almost like the wasteland I got the armor in. I think it was called Aftermath or something? I just know it didn't take the obviously better name of Fallout.
Whatever. Not the point.
While I could pull the suit I have out of my bag, I'd rather not. That one is made of the actual materials of power armor, which are obviously going to set off a metal detector. I'm not sure how I got my Izzet locket through to be honest, but I'm not taking the risk of this being noticed.
Which means I'll create the armor from scratch out of different stuff. Cardboard plating, a lot more plastic in the inner frame, and other painful substitutions are what will make this look like a realistic cosplay. I wouldn't even need a power pack for this. I don't want performance, I want the aesthetic.
The finishing touch is a dumb looking ray gun that I created entirely of the vibes of sci-fi. It's completely nonfunctional, has zero ergonomics to it, and has an incomplete paint job toward the barrel. Truly, I have mastered the art of below average cosplay.
Actually, scratch that. I'll swap the raygun for that world's local plasma pistol. Because it's easier for me to look mostly competent than like an idiot. Of course, this too was just a wacky piece of cosplay and not a real weapon. Only a psycho would pull out a functional weapon at a convention.
I shoved the ray gun into my bag. I might want to make it a real weapon as a joke later.
The fact I hadn't overshot this spell was good. I still need to work on that when I do off the cuff magic, but any improvement is nice.
I pulled the turn wheel on the back. Even with all my substitutions, the basic concept of the armor worked. Was that due to magic? Yes, but that's just because I didn't have any reason to have batteries on me. If I did, I could do this 100% free of spells. Outside making the costume I guess.
You know what, screw it, I'm adding that battery right now. Who honestly would care that I snuck in a battery?
I'm still not making the armor metal. That'd be annoyingly loud for other people when I'm walking.
"That's uhh, definitely something."
"It's just simple creation magic." It's not like what I did was super complicated or anything. Sure, it's harder than what normal people do with summoning. That magic uses the concepts of the subject to fill in the gaps of an incomplete picture to make a copy of a thing. Illusions are just the image without the need for the related concepts, and are more easily changeable to fit new needs.
Creation by contrast was creating the thing physically from the ground up. All of it had to be considered at the time of creation, which in exchange made something incredibly permanent. Regular summons need a part of your mind to be always thinking about what you made. A very small part of your mind, but it still needed thought. Full force creation magic just made the thing and it stays around. You knew the exact amount of energy needed to make the thing, and then you made it. The field isn't exactly beginner-friendly, but it is a lot easier than it sounds.
At least, that's how it worked on Dominara. Every plane has a bunch of completely different interactions with magic, which makes trying to create a unified theory of magic completely impossible. That's one of the most annoying things about how magic works. At the same time, it means more often than not, every new world is a whole new learning experience.
"I didn't feel you using any of your magical power, though." Huh, I guess she's from somewhere where power is internal. Interesting.
"I was using local energy."
"That's not how any of that should work."
"Well, you're part of today's lucky ten thousand."
"What?"
"Well, you know how everyone should know some things by the time they're an adult. Well, that means roughly ten thousand people learn that each day in the United States. Most people shame you for not knowing things, but that only teaches you to not share the sense of wonder that accompanies learning something new."
"That's a nice way to view it."
"Now, shall we?"
"It'd be my pleasure."
For babies' first convention, it wasn't half bad. It was apparent in the merch with its low quality, with how there wasn't a lot of big events or game producers here, and with how off everyone here was. This was closer to how events like Aggiecon are, which were lower quality due to venue concerns and the fact it's done by a small volunteer team of students right before midterms, than something like PAX or Comic Con.
Most of this was Leviathan Work's fault. They're the event planners, so the failures are on them.
They did however get some of the better voice talent and actors to appear here. Of course the majority of them were from the company hosting the thing, but surprisingly so did some people from Sitri as well. The meet and greets weren't done badly or anything, which is good. My parents cared about that part of conventions. I didn't personally participate in fandom around actors or anything like that. I was more of a franchise type of guy.
"So, why are you here anyway, Ms Leviathan?"
"Well, I have a meeting here later. And not to brag, but I did star in some things that'll have panels later." She puffed her chest up a bit for emphasis.
"Oh that's nice. The special effects in some of those movies did seem a bit better than what CGI could produce." Well, that's not the weirdest thing I've ever done off plane. There was that one time I did stand-up comedy for the Rakdos on Ravnica. I think that was the only time a Rakdos event didn't kill someone that year.
"Yeah. It's a loophole that lets us make the movies a bit faster. Post-production costs are killer."
"So that was you in Secret Agent Yo-Yo Girl. I liked the way the yo-yo fighting style was used in it. And the way it made use of magic in a pure support manner for its fights instead of devolving into beam clashes was novel compared to local movies."
"Yeah. I'm proud of that performance. I think that's when I really came into my own as an actress. That scene in the 10Q building in Shibuya where I had to confront Reimi Kazama is one of the highlights of my career. Oh, and the yo-yo tricks. I loved learning the yo-yo tricks for the movie. Even if the stuff in it isn't really attributable to combat or anything. My sister loved those tricks when she was younger."
"You have a sister?"
"My beloved So-tan. She's my everything. I wish I could spend more time with her, but I'm always so busy."
"I feel your pain. Responsibility kills your free time."
"You have any siblings yourself Mister… Oh hell, I don't actually know your name."
"It's David, and no. I'm not blessed with any."
"My parents took over four hundred years to give me a sibling, your parents probably still have the time to do it."
"Four centuries? That's a very long time. What are you anyway?"
"Devil." That's surprising. She didn't feel as weak as most devils I've seen. Not that devils were particularly weak, it's just that most of the time they're the lackeys of actual demons. She just looked too human to be one without an illusion or something, and I'd detect an illusion or whatever concealing magic is being used by her.
I guess she's from Capenna or Faerun. The devils there are pretty powerful.
"Huh. I was expecting demon or angel. Hell, I'd expect you being an elf over devil."
"Why?" The question was asked with genuine curiosity.
"I've not met many devils as strong as you. Plenty of demons and angels at that tier, but not many devils. Also, you look way too human to fit my image of a devil."
"How many devils?"
"Like, two? Maybe three? It's no more than five."
"And what did you think devils look like?"
"Well, generally it's red humanoids with horns. Most of the time they're small like goblins and somewhat hunched over, with not much in the ways of intelligence. Occasionally you see a couple that are a bit taller and more intelligence and that is where you see some skin tone variation with shades like grey and black.
"Unless it's Faerun. There's no fucking rules in Faerun."
"Huh. I've not heard that description before."
"I've just had a very different experience with devils compared to you. Wherever you're from clearly produces much more attractive women." Not knocking monster fuckers or anything, that'd make me a hypocrite, but an attractive humanesque woman is easier on the eyes to me.
Speaking of her appearance, it was somewhat odd. Beyond the magical girl outfit, she did do up her hair in pigtails to further the young girl aesthetic needed for that genre of character. She was just barely below average height of a woman in the United States, but her body language was carefully designed to seem younger to offset that. Her breasts did mess that up though being far too noticeable, she should have bound them to better accentuate her childishness. Unless that's the intent of that character design, which is definitely possible.
"You flatterer, you're making me blush."
"I just say it like I see it."
We stopped at the main Leviathan Works merch booth. This wasn't as bad as the convention specific stuff, so it's not that weird. Most of what was available was special editions of movies from the last decade or two.
"You have any recommendations?"
"Well, besides Secret Agent Yo-Yo Girl, there's this one."
She handed me a DVD for Miracle Levi-tan the Movie.
"This is my magnum opus. It's the first film for my main TV series, which is over here."
I looked up, and just saw a sign labeled Levi-tan. How'd I miss that.
"Why's no one looking at it?"
"Most people are philistines who don't understand my genius."
"It can't hurt to check this out, I guess."
Did this require binging the entire series? No. I still will, though. I liked Secret Agent Yo-Yo Girl, and if she's this passionate about magical girl stuff, I wouldn't doubt there's at least some passion in the series.
There was however a single other magical girl movie here. Magical Girl Chaturanga-Chan.
"What about this one?"
Her face took on a fond look.
"Ohh, this one. I remember this one. This was the first magical girl thing I did."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Back then I didn't really know much about the genre. I was more into sukeban stuff, but something about the genre really clicked with me when I started doing research on it. The good versus evil was nice, but that sense of optimism was something I really needed. Back then, my sister had just been conceived and I didn't really know what to do about it. So I just focused on the movie over everything else the entire pregnancy. We were working on the last scene when Sona was born and that changed everything about what I wanted in life. And I put that energy in my last couple of scenes and it really shows."
"Did your sister like the movie?"
"Yeah. She developed a chess fixation after watching it because no one played Chaturanga anymore even among the older generation. She also liked the magical girl stuff, but she lies about that nowadays. She can't embrace anything silly anymore, and unfortunately that includes me." It didn't take mind reading to tell she felt down about that
"Well, I don't know what to say about that. You could tone yourself down when with her, but that wouldn't really be you hanging out with her. Maybe try being honest with her?"
"What do you mean?"
"Admit you just want to spend time with her. She might think everything you do is just a big joke or something. Offer to just play some chess with her or something."
"Yeah, that sounds nice."
"Do you have anyone else beyond her and your parents?"
"Not really. My friends aren't really the hanging out type. Sirzechs has a kid now, Ajuka can't leave the lab for the life of him, and the less said about Falbium the better."
"Here." I pulled a piece of mint out of my bag.
"Why're you giving me magical candy? What even is this stuff?" What's so baffling about magic food?
"It's mint from a Mintstrosity. It's not dangerous anymore."
"Anymore?"
"Well, it used to be part of a giant praying mantis made of sugar. It's safe to eat, though. Sweettooth monsters are delicious if you can strike first."
"You didn't answer why you were giving me this. Also, I have to go talk with a friend soon."
"I haven't killed a pockey monster, duh. And I guess I'll meet back up with my friends."
She turned around for a second.
"Wait, here."
She handed me a folded piece of paper.
"What is this?"
"My number."
She ran off.
Guess the guys were right. She's clearly into me.
_____________________________________________________________________________
POV Serafall
I hate work. Not that I do much, Devil foreign affairs are such a fucking joke. We're at peace with exactly zero people. The most work I do is occasionally negotiate territory, and the last time that happened was forty years ago, give or take.
See, that's the part I actually don't hate. I hate cleaning up other people's messes, and that's practically my job. Oh, one of the high class devils did something stupid, so now I have to make a fuss about it. Newsflash, it is almost always the devil's fault. Our nobility are fucking lemmings. Hmm, yes, let's restart the great war when most of our population can barely face a decent exorcist in a fight and half the decent fighters are so out of practice they've given up on everything for a bunch of untested kids, and the other half are untested kids. Fucking Old Satans. We should let them hang themselves next time they do something stupid.
Like, fuck this mess with Diodora. No one really liked him. He was the nobody of the new generation. Rias had simps, So-tan was So-tan, Riser had actual wins, Sairaorg was a good fighter, and Seekvaira had potential. No one cared for Diodora, or whoever else was in that age group.
Ajuka didn't even like his broth- wait it's his cousin, which is still sad. Sona's my world, I can't imagine being indifferent to her. His parents wanted to replace him with a new heir and had been trying for years. Odds are, that'll take a few centuries, but at least they have branch families if they fail, unlike the rest of the houses.
But honestly, raping nuns in a church? That's asking for it. There's a difference between having an enemy, and whatever the fuck Diodora was on. This didn't push forward any objective our species had. The only interesting thing here was a former holy sword wielder. Attacking that guy and killing his kid would have done something useful, if only barely. The nun thing is just weirdly targeted cruelty.
"Ahh, Serafall, it's so good to see you." Here she is, the overglorified bitch. Same old curly blond hair she hasn't styled any differently for the last thousand years. Same classic old-school nun outfit, just without the headpiece.
I hate her so, so much.
"Gabriel…"
"How've you been?"
"Peachy." For once, that isn't entirely a lie. Hanging out with the weirdo mage that didn't have the faintest clue who I am was the nicest time I've had in years that didn't involve hanging with Sona.
"That's good. I wouldn't want one of my friends to be glum."
"Can we get a move on? We waited for an extra five hours." And this blond woman must be the nun. She's not human, not even half, even if her weird attempt to mask it with humanness would convince someone else that she was fully human, I've been around long enough to see through tricks like that. She wore a fairly cute but tasteful maid outfit, with a long dress that went past her knees over a frilly short-sleeve shirt. The headband and frilly opera gloves completed the look nicely.
"You must be the nun, Sister Claire." One hundred percent high ranking angel. Seriously, why are you hiding this from me?
She scowled at me. "Yes I am. That parasite Dickodora tried to rape me. Can I go now? I don't want to be around one of them for any longer than necessary" She said, her tone biting and as cold as ice.
The bit- Gabriel turned and look at her with the eyes of a loving parent. "You may, child." I've been doing this job long enough to see though bullshit from some of the best, there was no lie coming from her. That's good enough for me. The important thing is though did Mike finally figure out Yaya's party trick or did you two finally bang? Seriously, she looked just like what I assume a child of those two would look like. Sure, the eyes were closer to emerald than turquoise, but it wasn't that different really, not everyone looks like a duplicate of their parents like Venelana and Rias. Wait, that's a bad example, Rias is basically color swapped Venelana. Sona and Mom, yeah, that's more accurate. Yeah, that's one hundred percent Gabriel and Michael's kid.
I really need to stop calling her a bitch in my head, can't let that slip out. This week's been nothing but hell, this was supposed to be one of my three days off this year. Fuck my life.
But seriously, look at her. Even during a total shitshow like this, she's got that calm 'everything will go my way' look on her face.
"So now that the little one has left, we can discuss how our people will be dealing with this going forward." She tilted her head to the side and her grin became bigger and was now clearly forced. "We obviously have several demands you WILL agree to if the Devil faction does desire a formal peace treaty with Heaven anytime within the next oh seven thousand years or so." Yep, it's her kid.
"Well, I'll have to take your demands to the oth-"
"You'll agree to everything here and now. A more formal negotiation can hammer out specifics, but you will agree to everything, else the disputes between us may get rather warm, so to speak, and Michael and I will have to settle for only signing a treaty with Azazel."
"And those are?" Damn, she's fiesty today. I like it.
"I have a print-out for you."