If I Can Get Through This
'It's been a while,' Joshua mused, watching the illusions dance around him. Once things had calmed down and he was doing better – not fine, not yet, but soon, maybe –, he'd decided to take a step back and give his daughter the attention she deserved and that she hadn't been getting. So, for old times' sake, he'd chosen to put up an illusion show once more. Ravel and Koneko were busy, but that was a plus, as far as Kunou was concerned.
She was growing closer and more accepting of the other two's presence, but she liked one on one time as much as the next kid… or so he assumed. Joshua would be the first to admit that he didn't think Kunou was very similar to normal kids, but children didn't always make sense, even when they were "normal". The point was that his daughter – the first to be acknowledged as such – was happy to spend some time alone with him and he was happy to do so with her, in turn.
"It's been a while," Kunou mumbled and he almost laughed. "What?"
"I was just thinking the same thing," Johusa answered, pausing the illusions. So that it wasn't too jarring though, he decided to have a "pause" sequence, where people shifted where they stood instead of just staying frozen. Animals moved and things were still affected by wind and such. It was like the world around them had been told to wait before continuing… which, in a way, it had. "Sorry for being so busy."
"... It's fine," his daughter mumbled and he smiled when she drew closer to him where she sat on his lap. She leaned back against his chest and seemed to shift as if trying to press even more onto him. "You won't be busy like that again, right? At least for a while?"
"I shouldn't, no," Joshua answered, but there was a weary smile on his face that she couldn't see. Ultimately though, he didn't want to lie to her, even by omission or vagueness. "I can't promise that I won't though."
"Hm, I know," she said, even though it was obvious that she was unhappy to hear that. "You're my dad," Kunou added after a moment and he blinked. "You're my dad and I'm your daughter." He was growing more confused by the second. "So… So you have to keep coming back, alright?"
'Ah, that makes a little more sense.'
"Always," Joshua said, leaning down and kissing the top of her head. To further prove the point that needed to be proved though, he took off his family locket and then put it on her. "You can keep it for a bit. You are a Davis too, after all," he commented, taking the locket in his hand and opening it to show the pictures. "We might need to add a few more people here."
"Ravel and Koneko," Kunou replied absently, most of her attention on the pictures switching in front of her with the smallest movements of her magic. "Do you think Fuyuko's tea is good enough to put her here?" she added as a joke and he was happy to hear her be a little more relaxed.
"I don't like tea that much," he answered, following along and pretending to be offended when she turned to give him a mock surprised expression. "I won't leave, Kunou. I never want to leave," he added, giving the situation the seriousness it deserved. And that was the truth. The only way he was leaving was if Yasaka or Kunou herself told him to go away. For better or worse, he'd become the little girl's dad at some point and he might have had a million doubts, especially at the beginning, but he regretted absolutely nothing. "I love you."
"Love you too, dad," Kunou mumbled and she was reminding him a little about when things started. Back then, she'd always found an excuse to call him dad. Maybe she'd always have moments like those. Privately, he hoped she would, because he liked hearing her calling him that. "I think I'm fine now," she said eventually, her voice low but nevertheless tinged with appreciation that made him smile.
With a nod that she didn't see, Joshua set the illusions in motion once again, continuing with the story he'd been showing her.
That was how Yasaka found them about an hour later, together and enjoying an illusion show with a cup of tea each and a half-empty tray of snacks by their side. Kunou had eventually gotten off his lap, but she had, also eventually, found herself back on it once again. Joshua wasn't complaining, not at all. As for the little girl's mother, she smiled fondly at them, especially when Kunou didn't seem to notice the new arrival, at least until Joshua spoke.
"Want to join us?" he asked and he was greeted with an even wider, happier smile that meant the world to him. That's what he'd worked so hard for, what he wanted to protect. His daughters, his partners, his friends, all of them every day since, were making all the tireless work he'd gone through worth it. Because if he got to have Kunou around him, happily telling him about her day and enjoying some show from his old world, then he'd be happy too. If he got to see Yasaka relieved, relaxed and content as she came back home from her own work, then Joshua considered himself lucky.
"I do," Yasaka answered and Joshua smiled unreasonably wide at that. Because there was nothing he wanted more those days than to see, to experience, what mattered in his life. Spending time with his family, with his loved ones, that was what he needed more than anything. More than rest and more than getting used to infinite magic, more than magic and more than power…
He'd lost everything once and now he had found himself with something once more. He'd be damned if he didn't appreciate it. Even more so if he let it slip through his fingers again.
[}-o-{]
"You're warm," Valerie commented and Joshua smiled to himself.
She was doing a lot better, after some time with the piece of the original Grail. She wasn't fine by any means, but the dhampir's broken soul had… not mended, but the frayed seams seemed to have smoothed over, kind of. Like the cloth that made her existence was now simply cleanly cut into pieces rather than torn apart. Not much of an improvement, but she was no longer a husk of a person.
She could function, even if it was evident she was far from recovered, from healthy, from whole.
"You're nice," Valerie said, much like she had a million times. Joshua could tell the difference, especially after – he'd regretfully admit – he'd had to push her to the side to focus on Ophis and her Silence. Yasaka had always reassured him that there was someone watching her at all times and taking care of her. It wasn't the same as being there himself, however. "What are you doing?" she asked, tilting her head from where she was, draped over his back and peeking over his shoulder.
"Working on something to help you, hopefully," he commented and the arms around his neck squeezed a little appreciatively.
Truth was, he felt guilty about having pushed her aside so much. It felt like he'd barely given her the time of the day ever since Ophis dropped by and that was… That was kind of awful of him, or so he thought. She'd had her soul torn apart, but he'd been too busy to help her. Logically, he thought he hadn't been wrong to do so, but the mind was hardly ever perfectly logical.
So, in order to feel better, he'd decided to spend a good bit trying to work on his old projects. It helped that he had better tools for it then and there. He had more magic, for one, but he also had studied plenty of soul-related information for Project Silence. Joshua felt like he had a better shot at it then and there than he had the last time he looked. Although, admittedly, he'd probably have even more if he'd focused on that, but no such luck for him and for Valerie.
"Thank you," she told him. "You're nice."
Her vocabulary hadn't changed much. She still spoke oddly, like she couldn't quite string her thoughts together well enough and repeated basic things and the first things that came to her mind, but she spoke with more… clarity. No longer did her voice come out airily, almost vacantly. She spoke with more strength, like there was intent there, like her mind was at least trying to work properly.
"I'm trying to be," he replied as he scribbled down a few ideas he had on how to try and help Valerie. The best lead he had was to look for the missing pieces of her soul though, the ones Khaos had taken from her. That'd be easier said than done, but he thought there was probably some way to do so. Aika had done as he'd told her, for one, so Divination could be a lead. However, Joshua wasn't one to put all his eggs in one basket, especially not one that he didn't carry himself.
So, he was looking for ways to go about it and he had some ideas.
"I know you are," Valerie said and he paused, glancing at her. "That's why you're nice. That's why I like you," she added and he found himself surprised. That was more… depth than she'd shown in a while, he was pretty sure. There was a serenity accompanied with seriousness that reminded him of Gabriel in her eyes and he was curious enough to take a deeper look at her soul, even channeling a few gods.
Sure enough, his eyebrows shot up when he saw that her soul looked like it'd been… pulled together. There were missing pieces still, but it was almost like someone had tried to make it fit into a single thing all the same, pulling it all together despite the holes. That had, as far as he knew, never happened and he tried to analyse it as best he could.
Alas, it was a brief thing and it unraveled not a moment later.
"Thank you," Joshua said absently, getting a giggle from the girl with the broken soul. 'What was that?' he wondered, still staring at the shredded essence of Valerie. "Did you do that, Valerie?" he asked, hoping against hope-
"Do what?" she asked, blinking at him and looking thoroughly confused.
He'd expected that, but it was still a shame to see it. He wondered all the same. Was that accidental or had she somehow pulled that off without realizing? Was that her soul trying to become whole again? Was that something else?
'Friday,' he called and the living spell perked up, snapping to his side from where she'd been, playing with the rest of his familiars, particularly Morag. 'Do you mind keeping an eye on Valerie? Just to notice if something happens with her soul. It did something odd just now and I want to know if it happens again, or if something similar does,' he explained.
The spell could generally multitask very well, but she needed to be connected to an array to do that. She wouldn't be able to follow him around, sadly, but Valerie was at home, so it wouldn't be a great loss. She'd also never be alone and she seemed to have grown less dependent on him, so that helped.
Joshua still made a mental note to make it up to Friday whenever he was around to do so.
"I can," the spell said, her voice still all sorts of wrong. She was getting there though. He had noticed though, that she seemed to be testing "sounds" for her voice alongside learning how to speak at all, so that probably took away from that a little. All the same, he was happy to see her progress, or hear her progress, more accurately.
'Thanks. You're the best,' he praised, feeling the spell's magic wiggle around him happily. He smiled fondly at that.
It was so good to have some peace and be able to enjoy simple things like that again.
[}-o-{]
"Very impressive," Joshua commented, doing his absolute best not to let his voice sound bland while at it. He'd just witnessed someone's casting and it was… not impressive. Not to sound arrogant, but the guy wasn't even all that. Sure, the Plant Magic he displayed making a jungle on a corner of the area they were at was kind of neat, but…
Meh.
He could sense the plants were mainly held together by magic. They'd wither in a day, two at most. They were all also sort of… generic plants, as it were. They weren't real plants. As far as Joshua was concerned, he was looking at barely biological plant-shaped constructs.
It was made to look cool, basically, and maybe to be useful, but it didn't feel like Plant Magic, really.
Karin's Nature Magic was way more impressive, if anyone asked him. He might mention that to one or two people, actually. That would probably be good for her too, so that worked. Actually, on that note…
"Maybe you can work together with one of my apprentices, Karin," he commented, using that to put some enthusiasm into his words. "She uses Nature Magic. I'm sure you two could make some impressive things together," he said, and he might have missed the way the man's face twitched the smallest bit if he hadn't had spells set up around to help him keep an eye on things. The smallest of frowns formed between his brows, his lips pursed a bit, yet he kept a smile on his face all the same.
"Of course, Mr. Davis. It'd be my pleasure," the man replied, lying through his teeth. "I'll just have to make time in my schedule, but for an apprentice of yours, I'm sure I'll manage."
"Please, do let me know," Agnes said, joining in and likely realizing that Joshua was done already with that whole interaction. She was perceptive like that. She pulled attention to herself, talking with the Plant magician and even pulling in everyone else around. Joshua was thus, mercifully, left alone for a bit, with Ravel by his side.
"Should I make note of that mage, Mr. Davis?" the Phenex asked and he turned towards her. It took quite a bit not to pull a face, but he was proud of himself for managing.
"Not at all. If we need plant help, specifically, chances are that Karin will do. If not, we can pair Karin with some other Plant magician, or Dion, or both," he said, and the devil wasted no time writing that down. "He also seemed to react badly when I made that suggestion about Karin."
"Do you want me to do anything about that, Mr. Davis?" she asked, almost managing to pull off an innocent look. Alas, Joshua knew better by then. So, he just raised an eyebrow at her, but Ravel remained steadfast in her efforts. Credit where credit was due, he supposed, she had her story and she stuck to it.
"Nah, I don't think…" he started, before trailing off, considering. "Maybe something subtle, something petty," he decided and the impish smile on the girl's face was very fitting for a young devil, or so Joshua thought. All the same, he grinned and let her go on. He was fond of the Stars. If someone like that guy wanted to try and get on his good side like he had, the only reason why he'd react like that was if they looked down on his apprentices in particular.
He couldn't very well let that stand, could he?
It wasn't all bad, admittedly. Most magicians in attendance at the event were actually kind of smart. He could see Meredith chatting away with a group of combat magicians at a table with snacks. Dion and Georg had been pulled aside by an elderly lady magician that seemed to have some kind of anti-curse magic that he'd forgotten the actual name of.
He'd also talked with some people that were actually interesting. Sure, their magics might not have been as strong or as flashy as Plant guy, but they had been useful in their own way and they gave him ideas. Like the guy with Weakening Magic, who had made Joshua think about weakening the perception of things for Project Silence instead of trying to outright cancel them. If it had enough strength to it, it might be more effective, since Ophis would hear through his blocks anyway.
That might be a nice stopgap until he found a better solution.
Joshua had Ravel make a note to be nice to that guy, or get Agnes to be nice to him, more accurately. Like him, there were a few other people, so he wasn't regretting having to go too much. Not that he'd gone there to meet with random magicians though. No, he was there because he knew he'd made things difficult for Agnes by disappearing for a month and some change and Ravel had suggested that appearing at such an event could be a good way to make up for that.
He wasn't sure why she looked so amused while suggesting that, but eh…
Didn't matter.
The point was that it actually hadn't been as boring as he'd thought. Way better than the devil gatherings Serafall would pull him to, that was for sure. Still, Joshua didn't think he was likely to volunteer to a lot of those, but if that kind of thing could count as something nice to do for Agnes and House of Water, then it was a good option to keep in his back pocket.
It might even work for Elizabeth too, even if he'd likely have to tailor it a little more, like sticking to her and making nice with her probably-just-as-shady friends. Not what he'd prefer, but they might have some… insights to share in regards to certain things that general magic society frowned upon. Like souls…
'Hm, it might be worth looking into…'
"Mr. Davis?" Ravel called, making him blink and return to the present. "I think Ms. Waterhouse could use your presence again," the young devil said and he nodded, gathering the will to deal with people once more and moving to do just that.
The things he did to settle things and for information.
[}-o-{]
With some more work done and new ideas to test, Joshua found himself finishing up the new set ups for Project Silence: Room and Copy. Both had been changed quite a bit, although not nearly as much as he'd have liked. More than actual changes, the most he'd done was stacking a bunch of spells together. The biggest difference was the fact that he was no longer even trying to block out everything from the senses. Instead, he was trying out the idea of weakening what came in as much as possible.
Just in case though, he was ready to switch back to the old way of doing things.
He wasn't sure, after all, what the difference would be for Ophis. She could sense through complete blocks, after all. Maybe the difference would work better, maybe it wouldn't. Now that he had earned some wiggle room, he thought he could try what he usually did and just throw things at the wall to see what stuck. He'd just have to make sure he didn't annoy Ophis too much with all the testing, but that was better than no testing at all.
'I can't get used to it,' he thought to himself, bringing a hand up and flexing it slowly. Infinite magic, it was something that changed everything about his life. The way he felt himself, the way he cast, the way he could use magic. Every spell was like a completely different thing, even those that he'd cast exactly the same way before. Joshua was also used to spells having a draining effect, whether it was small or bit. That was no longer the case, with his reserves remaining full – infinite – all the time.
It felt off, not in a bad way, but also not in a good way.
Different.
Strange.
'This is my life now,' he thought, taking a deep breath in and still feeling like he was too full to be doing that. He was starting to learn to ignore that, but maybe he'd carry it with him always, never quite being able to put it behind him, out of his mind. Much like the game, he supposed. No matter how few screens popped up those days, Joshua would always be aware of its presence.
'Weirder and weirder,' he mused with a sigh that was somehow both amused, weary and exasperated. 'I'm not gonna complain about a good thing though.' And he really wasn't, even if he sometimes felt like he was. 'Anyway… how do I call Ophis though?' he wondered once everything was done.
Because the last thing Joshua wanted to do was annoy the apparently nigh omnipotent dragon while she was apparently still enjoying his prototype rooms. If she didn't get out though, he couldn't talk to her, however. He almost wanted to leave her there, admittedly, but he couldn't do that either. He wanted her further away from them, from their homes, if he could manage, after all. So…
'Well, she said she could still sense the outside, right? And if her senses are as ridiculous as I think they are…'
"Ophis?" he said, feeling a little silly. He soldiered on though. "I've set up new rooms with a different approach that I think could work better," he added and, again, the dragon appeared right in front of him, as if she'd always been there. Scary creature would be scary though and he had thought that might work… It was another thing entirely for it to actually work though, he would admit.
"Joshua Davis," Ophis said, maybe a greeting or maybe an acknowledgement. He saw her eyes move between him and the room, and he had the slight impression that there was eagerness there. "These are better?"
"They are different. I've changed things and some parts should be better. There's a big change that might be better or might not be. If it's not, tell me and I'll go back to the old approach, but hopefully better," he explained as calmly as he could. It was a struggle not to say everything in a single breath to get it over with as fast as possible, but he managed.
"I see," the dragon replied slowly. Surprisingly, she didn't just go for it though. The pause wasn't long, however. "Thank you," was all she added before moving to step inside the first room.
'Well, at least she tried to be polite. Didn't even give me a life altering experience that might kill me or leave me out of commission this time,' he thought wryly, standing outside the room and finally breathing a little easier. Admittedly, he'd have preferred not to be threatened with death. He was weird like that.
From there, he waited for a bit, as patiently as he could and checked on the integrity of the arrays. Some things needed to be fixed, but nothing had broken with Ophis' arrival, so that was progress. He did need to modify a spell or two that had been pushed a little too much though. Much better than how it had gone before, at least, and that meant that he didn't need to sacrifice so much efficacy for the sake of setting a replacement up.
That was a huge win in his books.
After a while though, Ophis stepped out.
"Different, but not bad," she told him. "Better than the other, but also not. Louder but… smoother?" she added and he blinked, processing that. So, weakening the outside stimuli was worse than trying to block it in terms of volume, but… 'What's smoother supposed to mean?' he wondered, puzzled.
"More pleasant?" he tried and Ophis considered that for a moment before nodding.
"In a sense," she told him and he made a mental note of that. "You said you could do another, but better?" she asked and he nodded. "Can you do it separately?" she added and he nodded again, slower.
'So, Copy, Room and… Room 2?' he thought, that was one extra option and that wasn't a bad thing to have around, he supposed.
"I can do that."
"Good."
And that time it was definitely a smile that appeared on her face.
Joshua was immensely relieved to see it.
[} Chapter End {]
Hey guys! How's it going?
Joshua is slowly but surely getting his life back on track, huh? Love to see it. I felt a little bad with how badly Valerie's arc was pushed to the side, but as I explained here, it was kind of necessary, I felt. Beyond that, there was some fluff and some more putting people in his debt, normal stuff for Joshua really.
And some more progress in Project Silence… in a sense. Hopefully that arc isn't going to take over the story again. I don't think it's likely. I know people were getting the pitchforks and torches during the almost exclusive in-story month of that.
With that said, I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter.
As always, if you can't wait until next week for the next chapter, or if you just feel like supporting my writing, there's up to three new chapters in my Patreon (linked below).
Random Question: When's the last time you hung out with friends? I did so yesterday. Gee, wonder why I'm asking this, huh?