[Chapter 4 - A First Kiss is a Memorable Thing]
When Yohei had first… woken up, for lack of a better descriptor, he'd been too out of it to care about paying much attention to the people around him in his class.
Now, after having arrived early to class at his mother's urging, he was caught with the very uncomfortable feeling of having to hold back a squee at seeing a bunch of smelly, snotty kids he had seen pretty much every day of his life for the past half-decade.
Kiba, who was currently talking in hushed whispers with Akamaru; Shino, quietly sitting at the back of the class and either dozing off or staring at the wall with unnerving intensity; Chōji, peacefully finishing a pack of chips and fishing another from the pocket of his coat; Sasuke, doing his best impression of an edgy weeb, sitting on his desk in the Gendo Pose…
Yohei had to stifle a snort at that – it wouldn't do to give the budding psychopath a reason to feel animosity toward him.
And, of course, the boy's totally-platonic soul mate was also here already, having arrived early to class for once in his life. Naruto sat on his seat radiating a sort of peaceful contentment Yohei could scarcely remember ever seeing from him – a big dumb grin on his face as he reclined on his table and stared dreamily forward.
A few moments later Shikamaru arrived, a spark of surprise blooming on his face before it was quickly smothered by the inherent laziness that seemed to be an almost genetic trait of the Nara.
"What the- why are you here?" Shikamaru asked the blonde. "Today's meeting is for graduates only."
Naruto straightened proudly in his seat, grinning.
"Hey, don't you see the headband?" he asked, pointing his thumb at his hita-ate. "As of today, I'm a ninja too!"
Rather than questioning Naruto further, Shikamaru only let out a non-committal hum that barely conveyed some level of… surprise? Curiosity? Approval? Yohei couldn't tell. Nonetheless, Naruto did as he was wont to do and started a conversation with him, and Shikamaru – despite his general attitude – did stop to listen and pay attention.
Moving his gaze a bit higher, Yohei saw another of the "main cast": Hinata Hyūga, the heiress of a clan that was practically royalty in the village now that the Senju and the Uchiha were mostly gone.
…Genocide was a disturbingly common thing in this world, huh?
Shaking his head as if to dispel the morbid thought, Yohei focused back on someone he considered to be one of the best individuals in this world personality-wise. A kind girl who disliked violence and conflict, but still gave her best and didn't hesitate to put her life on the line for the people she loved. Honestly, Yohei doubted she even wanted to be a ninja, though he also doubted she had a problem with the whole "child soldiers" thing as much as she had with feeling unworthy of the role. Which was her one real problem – her complete lack of self-worth. And, tellingly, it was not something she had developed on her own.
Being raised by a bunch of emotionally-constipated, status-obsessed, family enslaving assholes who kept calling you worthless will do that to a person.
By the same token, her… devotion to Naruto was admirable, in a way, if deeply unhealthy.
Speaking of unhealthy relationships – Yohei watched as Sakura and Ino marched inside the classroom, both of them panting and trying to convince the other that they were the one who had won whatever ridiculous competition they'd started on the way here.
Feeling no particular need to pay attention to the teen drama that was about to unfold, Yohei instead took the opportunity to test one of the abilities he'd been most interested in since he gained the Chaos Scroll. And also the reason he had come to class wearing sunglasses today.
With his head supported by his hand upon the table and his eyes squinted in a way that would give anyone the impression he was lazily amused by the scene in front of him – but in truth served to limit how much of his eye might be visible should someone catch a glimpse over the lenses – Yohei guided a small streak of chakra toward his eyes, feeling the subtle shift as his Dōjutsu activated.
Shinsōgan.
It was the first time he'd actually used it around other people – he hadn't had the opportunity to test it on his mother, and he refused to risk creeping on the ransom passerby through his window and risking to catch the attention of a passing Shinobi.
The moment the ocular jutsu activated, he felt a momentary blur in his vision before everything snapped back into focus – except now the world carried the unmistakable visual signature of the technique.
Thread-thin red strands extended from his chest, reaching toward others in the room. Some were faint, almost as thin as ninja wire, while others had more substance – though none were thicker than a straw. A few people didn't have any strands attached to him at all, but when he focused on them he found out that he could see an extremely thin, nearly invisible new filament begin to emerge from his chest and stretch painfully slowly in their direction… before crumbling the moment he looked away.
'This Bloodline Limit allows you to perceive your current relationship with people you are interested in and what they think of you; it also reveals their interests, likes, and dislikes'
Yohei silently repeated to himself the description from the scroll.
'This must be the condition – people you are interested in – which probably means the strand becomes thicker the more interest I have in someone, and that it doesn't work at all on people I'm not interested in.'
Yohei narrowed his eyes behind his sunglasses, continuing his internal breakdown. 'That still leaves a lot of questions, though. Do I need to have personally met the person for the interest to count? For example: I'm definitely interested in Lady Tsunade. But would the Shinsōgan work on her right now, or would we need to actually spend time together first?'
He glanced around the classroom again. He noticed that every visible strand only connected to someone physically present.
'So it only works within eyesight. There goes my idea of using it to track people,' he grumbled internally. 'Still useful, though. I just need to test whether the depth of information changes depending on how strong the strand is.'
Naturally, he looked toward one of the thickest strands in the room – Hyuuga Hinata.
As his gaze settled on her, the strand pulsed, glowing a brighter red for a brief moment. Then, as though painted in careful brushstrokes on air, neat black characters formed beside her.
HYUUGA HINATA
ACQUAINTANCES
'Well… that's fair, I guess,' Yohei thought, scratching his cheek with faint embarrassment.
A stray intrusive thought flashed through his mind – what would it display if Naruto were the one looking at her? – and he had to suppress the urge to chuckle aloud.
Shaking his head, he focused back on analyzing the ability.
The painted letters dissolved like ink in water, then re-formed into new phrases.
IS INTERESTED IN NARUTO
LIKES NARUTO
DISLIKES CONFLICT
All things he already knew. That suggested two possibilities:
Either the Shinsōgan only recorded knowledge he already possessed…
-or it revealed what could be considered "small secrets," the sort that could realistically be deduced through careful observation or spending some time with the person. Hinata's crush wasn't public knowledge, but anyone who paid enough attention could guess it. Same with her distaste for conflict.
Now the important part-
What does she think of him?
The words dissolved again and began reshaping-
-but midway through forming, the letters collapsed into a dripping mess of black sludge.
Yohei blinked.
The ink reformed, tried again… and collapsed again.
And again.
And again.
Five failed attempts later, Yohei quietly deactivated the technique, staring ahead with a blank, dead-eyed expression while white noise hissed in his skull.
'Does… does that mean she doesn't even acknowledge my existence enough to have an opinion on me?'
He immediately rejected the idea.
'No. No, that can't be it. Obviously it means that revealing that specific information requires a stronger connection.'
He nodded to himself with the solemnity of a man lying through every tooth he possessed.
'Yes. That must be it.'
Having taken several generous gulps from the well of cope and denial, Yohei elected to pretend the entire incident never happened and continued his experiment.
Next, he focused on someone with a middling connection to him, though it seemed to be strengthening a bit as he watched it.
YAMANAKA INO
ACQUAINTANCES
'As expected,' Yohei thought, blinking and feeling his Dōjutsu pulse as the information changed.
IS INTERESTED IN SASUKE.
LIKES WINNING.
DISLIKES PEOPLE DOUBTING HER TASTE IN FASHION.
That was certainly something. A tad unexpected as well – he honestly thought all three columns would be related to Sasuke for some reason, though he really shouldn't have; that was more Sakura's speed.
Also, her dislike hit a bit too close to home, the memory of his embarrassing comments from the previous day making him want to duck his head. He had said she was wearing bandage underwear, for kami's sake.
He was almost worried about what he'd see next – if he'd see anything at all, of course.
He blinked, and the information shifted again.
KUROYAMA YOHEI IS A RUDE SMARTASS.
Yep, there it was.
KUROYAMA YOHEI IS KIND OF CUTE.
He didn't know whether to feel flattered or insulted to be called cute, though-
He passed a hand over his face, considering.
'I suppose with this baby face without a single strand of hair and this body that has yet to be shown the glory of hypertrophy, cute is the best I can hope for.'
He waited to see if something else would appear, but the words simply looped between the two opinions. So Yohei undid the connection and was about to test what looking at Kiba – one of the people he had the weakest connection to – would do.
However, before he could do that, his attention was caught by the scene in front of him, visible only because Ino, whom he had been focusing on, sat close to it.
In front of him, Naruto was crouched over Sasuke's table, squatting right in front of the boy and glaring at him with narrowed eyes – his whole posture practically screaming delinquent.
Sasuke, on the other hand, still had his hand in the aura-farming pose, and looked at the blond with a mix of confusion and irritation.
"Naruto! Don't glare at Sasuke!" shouted Sakura – along with a legion composed of pretty much every girl in the classroom, all staring at the scene.
Naruto, of course, did no such thing.
"Just beat him up, Sasuke!" shouted Ino, mirrored by the other girls.
Sasuke seemed to seriously consider the prospect and was only holding back because doing so would imply acknowledging the existence of his fangirls.
Naruto seemed to sense the momentary hostility coming from the other boy, which only put him more on guard – which, in turn, made Sasuke tense up as well.
Yohei could swear sparks were about to fly between them.
He was so engrossed in watching it that he barely had time to react when Tobio, locked in conversation with another classmate and doing his best to ignore the commotion behind him, backed right into Naruto – slamming into him and breaking his balance.
The blond pitched forward, his lips on an inevitable collision course with-
Yohei's hand.
He had jumped from his seat before even realizing it, for reasons he wasn't entirely sure about, literally inserting himself into the middle of the situation.
There was a moment of stunned silence in the classroom, broken only by Tobio's confused "huh?" as he turned around to see what he'd almost caused. A collective sigh of relief rippled through the girls on the opposite side of the room.
Naruto was the first to react. He jumped back in utter revulsion, doing a full-body cringe that started with his face contorting and traveled down to his limbs wriggling as if he felt insects crawling under his skin.
He dry-heaved a few times before taking several deep breaths, looking at Yohei with tearful gratitude once he calmed down.
"Yohei!" he cried, throwing himself forward and grabbing the front of Yohei's shirt. "You saved me!"
"Uhh… sure, buddy," Yohei said, hesitating as he awkwardly patted the boy's shoulder.
"Thank you, Yohei! I almost-" he hiccuped, "I almost got trash in my mouth!"
The sound of fingers cracking echoed ominously through the room.
"I just got you out of a beating, Naruto," Yohei said solemnly as he stepped away from the relieved, crying boy, "but I think you just brought another one upon yourself."
"Eh?" Naruto blinked, confused – then shivered violently as he felt something close to bloodlust directed at his back.
He slowly turned around to find a legion of violence-ready girls glaring daggers at him. Some were popping their knuckles. Others were flexing their fingers like they were practicing how best to strangle him.
"Oi, Naruto…" Sakura said in a low, unnervingly calm voice. "What the hell did you just say about Sasuke?"
Naruto turned toward Yohei with mounting despair, clearly hoping he'd get saved a second time.
But Yohei was already back in his seat.
He met Naruto's desperate eyes, slid his sunglasses back onto his face, and said:
"Tatakae, Naruto-kun."
Then he faced forward, expression flat, ignoring the murder attempt about to unfold besides him.
[Chapter 5 – Team 5]
"As of today, you all have become full-fledged Ninjas," announced a proud and smiling Iruka at the front of the class. "However, you're still Genin. The tough part's still to come!"
'Tell that to the dumbass who fought several S-Rank Ninja without even being a chūnin,' Yohei thought with a smile.
"From here on, you'll be placed in squads of three and carry out missions under your jōnin teachers. The groups have been determined so that the strength of the groups will be balanced. Now – onto the assignments!"
Yohei almost snorted out loud. That was some of the biggest bullshit he'd heard since waking up.
Still, as Iruka began reading off teams, Yohei noticed something interesting. What the teacher said was technically true… but only for the students without a clan. The non-clan kids were clearly being arranged to average out their skill levels and make them more or less equal.
"Now then, next is Team Five: Kuroyama Yohei-"
Yohei straightened up, eyes scanning the room. He didn't really have preferences, but he did have a worst-case scenario involving being pared with two of Sasuke's more… fervent devotees.
"-Mikazuki Souma, and Kouen Ren."
'Well,' he thought, 'that's better than I was expecting.'
~-=≡=-~
After all the teams were announced – no deviations from what Yohei remembered of "canon" – the students were dismissed, with instructions to return in the afternoon to meet their jōnin sensei.
Yohei watched as most newly formed teams immediately separated and drifted off on their own.
Yeah, no. That couldn't fly.
He had no idea which jōnin would run Kakashi-style "teamwork or you fail" tests, but he wasn't about to risk flunking because of poor coordination.
"Yo," Yohei called, approaching his teammates, "you guys wanna grab a bite? My treat."
"Well, you're not going to see me rejecting free food, that's for sure!" Kouen Ren declared. He'd already been halfway out the classroom door, but Yohei's invitation pulled him up short. His expression was surprised – then immediately brightened into a grin.
Ren was one of the more popular boys in class. With an androgynous look, sharp eyes, and dark spiky hair, he was a bit like Sasuke-lite – if Sasuke smiled, laughed, and flirted around on a regular basis. Whether that friendliness was genuine or cultivated? Hard to tell.
Spoiler: Kouen Ren
"What about you, Souma?"
The last member of their team, and tallest of the three, tilted his head slightly. His puffy white hair pushed up in the air because of his hitai-ate, making him look vaguely like a pre-teen version of Gojo Satoru.
Spoiler: Mikazuki Souma
He considered Yohei's offer for a moment – then nodded with a small, quiet smile.
"Great!" Ren clapped his hands. "Come on, I know a guy nearby who makes a mean kushiyaki."
~-=≡=-~
"So what did you two think of the team assignments?" Yohei asked as he bit down on a particularly succulent piece of meat and dragged it off the skewer, barely holding back a groan as the flavor filled his mouth.
Ren's boasts hadn't been empty – the kushiyaki really was something else. Yohei made a mental note to ask the chef for the recipe later.
"I mean," Ren said, already finished with his own and now lying down on the rooftop they were on, tossing the used skewer up and catching it in a way that left Yohei deeply concerned it would eventually jab him in the eye, "it's like Iruka-sensei said, right? It's balanced."
Souma hummed in agreement.
And, well… they were right.
Ren was the best of the three academically, consistently one of the top scorers in class. He also had stellar marks in shurikenjutsu – though he preferred senbon – and some of the best chakra control among their peers. What he lacked was taijutsu. He wasn't particularly strong or sturdy, and somehow all that dexterity vanished the moment a fist flew at his face.
Souma, on the other hand, was fast as hell in spars, fast enough to actually go against Sasuke without embarrassing himself, unlike pretty much everyone else. But he wasn't strong enough to make full use of that speed, and his hand-to-hand form was… awkward was the best word for it, like he wasn't used to the motions or the katas. His chakra control was very good, but his shurikenjutsu was middling, and his academics… well, he usually managed to pass. So there was that.
And finally Yohei himself – certainly the best of the three in taijutsu, even if Souma was still faster. But beyond that, he was nothing special. His grades were good, but not exceptional. He could reliably hit a target with a thrown weapon, but he couldn't do any fancy tricks like redirecting a shuriken with another. He practiced leaf concentration regularly, but from a failed tree-walking attempt the previous day he knew he wasn't anywhere near Sakura's level.
All in all, they covered for each other's weaknesses well and each brought something unique to the table – even if, in Yohei's case, what he brought was being competent enough at everything to fill any role in a pinch.
"Not for the clan kids, though," Souma commented, speaking for the first time that day.
"Yeah, well," Ren grinned, "it's not like we're in any position to talk about it."
Indeed, they weren't. Because while the clan kids all had the advantage of long lineages shaped for excellence in their respective ninja arts – traditions refined over generations, sometimes centuries – they themselves had a different kind of privilege over the civilian-born.
Namely, they all came from families of career shinobi.
"So you all know what's coming, right?" Yohei asked.
The other two nodded seriously – Ren even sat up and stopped playing with the stick, though only so he could bite down on it instead.
"If you ask me, it's kind of cruel to make everyone think they passed when chances are most of us will just get sent back to the Academy," Ren commented as he walked forward to look down at the street below. "I guess that's being a shinobi for ya."
"Is it that big of a deal?" Souma asked, confusion in his voice. "It just means another year of training before we try again. It's not like they'll ban us from becoming ninja."
Ren bit his lip and furrowed his brows – an expression Yohei almost missed before Ren was back to smiling. "I suppose," he said with a 'carefree' laugh.
"That's no reason not to give our best, though. The instructors at the Academy may be good, but it's nothing compared to being personally taught by a jōnin," Yohei said.
Ren let out a tiny, relieved breath – something he probably didn't even realize he did – and Souma nodded as if to say 'of course'.
The taller boy likely hadn't noticed anything.
"I think the best thing we can do now is get familiar with each other's capabilities," Yohei continued. "Depending on how our jōnin-sensei decides to test us, we could also use the time between today and tomorrow to squeeze in some training."
"You're talking like you've got something up your sleeves beyond what you showed at the Academy," Ren said with a grin.
Something like that.
"That's the case for all of us, isn't it?" Yohei replied with a smile and a raised eyebrow.
Ren's grin widened, and even Souma gave him a fierce smile.
-~=~-
When the afternoon came, Team 5 returned to the classroom with Yohei feeling a lot more confident about their future prospects.
He was surprised to find that Iruka wasn't in class, however. Instead, a few moments after they all got in, a jōnin wearing a flak vest and a forehead protector styled like a beanie walked in with a smile.
"Team 1? I'm your jōnin instructor. Follow me," he said, then simply turned around and left, three of Yohei's classmates scrambling out of their chairs to run after him.
And so it went for each of the following teams – one jōnin sensei after another coming in, calling for their team, and departing – until it was their turn.
The man who entered had a severe look on his face, with black eyes set in a natural glare and a scar over the side of his mouth that made him look dangerous. Everything else about him, from his hairstyle to his clothes, was neat and orderly.
Spoiler: Shirakumo Hayama
"Team 5, with me," he said simply, and before he could even finish turning around, the three of them were already following after him. He glanced back and gave an approving nod before returning his gaze forward and marching away.
The three boys shared quick smiles at the prospect of having made a good first impression.
They walked up the stairs to the top floor of the Academy but headed in the opposite direction of the administrative wing, entering a private room that had clearly been prepared in advance – if the neat arrangement of four chairs was anything to go by.
They waited for the jōnin to sit first, only for him to shake his head with a sigh.
"There's no need to be so formal. Relax and take a seat," he said, gesturing at the chairs.
Doing as he instructed, all three of them sat down around him.
"Good. Now, I suppose I should introduce myself. My name is Shirakumo Hayama, and I am your assigned jōnin. Before we proceed, I'd like to know a bit more about each of you. I already have your profiles, but I find it far better to hear it personally from the individuals in question."Seeing their hesitation, he gave a small smile. "It doesn't need to be anything elaborate. Your names, likes, dislikes, and dreams for the future will do."
Ren went first, raising his hand with a grin. "My name's Kouen Ren. I like art – especially painting and dancing. I dislike the cold and lazy people, and my dream for the future is to be the one who finally makes my family an official clan of Konoha."
Hayama nodded respectfully. "That's an honorable ambition. Next?"
"Mikazuki Souma. I like swordplay and rainy days. I dislike spicy food. My dream for the future is to become Konoha's greatest swordmaster."
Their sensei smiled. "You'll find that you have plenty of competition for that dream of yours – including myself."
Souma nodded firmly. "That just means more people to sharpen myself against."
"A good attitude to have. Next?"
Yohei gave a small wave. "I'm Kuroyama Yohei. I like cooking and reading. I dislike tight spaces and feeling stuck. My dream for the future…"
What did he want for the future?
Survival was an easy enough goal to keep in mind – if not necessarily an easy thing to achieve. Even if he became a ninja under Hayama and gave his best, there was every chance he'd die in a random encounter with someone far stronger than him, or amid the chaos of the Konoha Crush well before Pain ever set foot in the village. He could also be one of the countless people – people far stronger than he currently was – who died like flies against Uchiha Madara when the man decided to waste time before getting to the "real fun."
And that wasn't even counting how, if he focused solely on surviving, he'd hardly have time to actually live.
'Power, then?'
Power was a pathetic thing to chase on its own. Too vague. Too hollow. It could mean a thousand things or nothing at all.
More specific, then – chakra. Ninjutsu, taijutsu, genjutsu, and all of their wondrous variants.
He rarely had the chance to stop and marvel at it, but there was a part of him that hadn't used chakra as a kid. A part not used to being strong enough to leap up stories-high buildings, or fast enough that running across the village was quicker than taking a car. A part that still fell in awe every time he made a few funny gang signs with his hands and magic happened.
He liked that. He liked that a lot.
He wanted to reach the pinnacle of this path – to become like Naruto, Sasuke, Hashirama, Madara. People who could remold landscapes at will, outrun rockets, fall from the sky and brush dust off their sleeves. People who could cut the moon in half. Not because he actually wanted to cut the moon in half, or to lord the ability over anyone, but because of all the experience he'd be able to have with those capabilities.
In a way, it was similar to Orochimaru's own dream.
Which was precisely why Yohei recoiled from it. No matter how much late-Naruto tried to force a "reformed Orochimaru" down everyone's throat, he couldn't stomach comparing himself to a psychopath who experimented on children and fetuses.
Becoming stronger was both necessary for survival and genuinely fun – but making it the whole point was the path of a cultivation protagonist.
And nobody really liked a cultivation protagonist.
That brought him back to the beginning. So he tried going at it another way.
Suppose he did become strong enough to survive anything. Strong enough to do practically whatever he wanted. What then? What would he do with all the time that opened up? Would he be content with settling down, taking the occasional S-rank mission, raising a family, and praying that none of the Boruto-era nonsense he half-remembered ever came to pass?
Or was there something in this world he fundamentally disagreed with – something he'd want to change if he had that kind of power?
"...my dream for the future is to be someone like Lord Hashirama," he said at last, surprising everyone in the room. "I want to change the world of shinobi."
'I want to destroy the ninja system.'
[To be Tested (Part 1)]
Silence took over the room after his proclamation. Yohei felt mortification swell in his chest with every passing second as his teammates – and possible jōnin instructor – stared at him with wide eyes. He did his best to ignore the heat creeping across his face.
Hayama let out a small chuckle.
"You certainly don't aim small. We'll see if you have what it takes."
His expression shed its mirth, sharpening into something serious that made all three of them straighten in their seats.
"Now, I suspect you already know what comes next. While you are officially ninja, mentorship under a jōnin – me, in this case – is not guaranteed. I have until the end of tomorrow to test you myself and decide whether you have sufficiently mastered what the Academy taught you, and whether you're ready for field work. If I'm not satisfied, you'll receive another year of remedial lessons. After that, you'll be given another chance at this test, with either myself or another jōnin."
His gaze hardened.
"Fail again, and you'll choose between resigning your headbands and returning to civilian life… or joining the Genin Corps."
Seeing them absorb his words with the seriousness they warranted – even as a few dry gulps echoed through the room – he gave a curt nod.
"I see no reason to delay the start of your test. You have one hour to gather whatever you think you'll need and meet me at the West Gate. Treat it like an official mission. Anyone who isn't there on time will be automatically failed."
With that, he formed a hand seal. A moment later, his form blurred and vanished with a sharp burst of displaced air.
It took only a heartbeat for the three of them to process what had happened before they scrambled out of their chairs. Yohei had already stepped up onto the windowsill and prepared to jump when Ren's voice stopped him and Souma both.
"Hey!" Ren called, making them turn. His lips pursed in a rare moment of hesitation for someone usually so carefree. He tried for an easy smile that came out more like a wince. "Don't be late… please."
Yohei exchanged a glance with Souma; both nodded in agreement. He turned back to Ren with a reassuring smile. "Don't worry. We'll all make it through."
Souma hummed in agreement, giving Ren an awkward pat on the shoulder that made the smaller boy let out a breathy laugh-sigh.
Without another word, all three of them leapt away toward their homes.
-~=~-
Arriving at his home, the first thing Yohei did was call out for his mom to see if she was back from work – which, since it was still the afternoon, she wasn't.
Knowing how she'd get if he didn't tell her what he was about to do, he grabbed a sheet of paper before gathering supplies and wrote her a message.
"Mom,
My Jōnin-sensei is Shirakumo Hayama. My team's test starts today rather than tomorrow. It may take the night, so I don't know if I'm coming back today. I'll pick some things from your storage, please don't be mad."
Furrowing his brows in thought, he quickly added:
"I liked my teammates. I think we'll work well together.
Love you lots,
Your son."
Nodding in satisfaction, he set the letter on the table and used the ink pot as a weight, then rushed upstairs to his room while taking off the clothes he was wearing.
He had gone to the Academy today wearing mostly civilian clothes, since he didn't expect they'd be tested until tomorrow. Sure, it was still clothing that was easy to move in and wouldn't obstruct him if he had to fight, but hardly what he thought appropriate for an actual mission.
So, dressed only in his underwear, he proceeded to put on a full-body ninja mesh, which worked as a base layer of protection under the black padded pants and shirt – the wrists and shins secured with cloth wraps. Fingerless gloves with metal plating on the back went on his hands, and he stepped into a pair of the common Konoha toe-less boots.
He made a mental note to visit a shoemaker and see about getting steel-toed ones. The boots he wore had been perfectly acceptable a few weeks ago, but now they felt distinctly uncomfortable on his feet.
He strapped a pouch filled with kunai and shuriken to his upper right thigh, and another to the small of his back with ninja wire. He wasn't the best trap-maker out there, but the stuff was as useful as steel wool.
Now, he'd really have liked to put on a flak jacket or, better yet, actual body armor. But considering he was neither a Chūnin nor wealthy enough to commission something like that yet, he instead wore a thick jacket as an extra layer. Even if the cloth offered minimal protection, the inner pockets at least gave him places to store empty storage scrolls and the one scroll he had bought from a shop – holding a "kit" of basic camping gear.
All that done, he proceeded to his mother's room, knocking on the door out of habit despite knowing she wasn't there, then walking inside and heading straight for the wardrobe where she stored her ninja equipment.
Rows upon rows of shuriken, kunai, and senbon greeted him, along with neat piles of small seal tags and scrolls, plus paired vials lined up on stands.
Hesitating for a moment, he settled on taking a stack of Bomb Tags, Smoke Bombs, and Light Bombs, carefully placing them into another pouch secured at his waist.
Finally, he picked a single vial of a murky green and unnervingly warm poison – along with its antidote – and a small vial of Soldier Ration Pills, storing all of them inside one of his storage scrolls.
Patting himself down to make sure he had everything ready and nothing out of place, Yohei put on his sunglasses and headed out toward the meeting point.
-~=~-
When he arrived at the West Gate, with plenty of time to spare before the one-hour mark, the only one already waiting was Souma. The boy looked much the same as he had earlier, with the addition of a long, thin, straight sword with a strangely sharp curve on the handle hanging from his belt.
He and Yohei exchanged nods, and Yohei inclined his head toward the sword with a grin.
"You sure you won't cut yourself with that?"
Souma chuckled, picking up the weapon to show it off. "Pretty sure, yes. I've been training since I could walk, but this is the first time Mother allowed me to pick this sword up." He slid it from the scabbard, eyes softening with nostalgia as he looked at his reflection on the blade. "It was my father's."
Yohei let him have his moment, smiling quietly, then chose to break the silence just before it turned awkward. "Guess we know now why your taijutsu is so wonky," he teased.
"Using my arms like a sword doesn't work as well as I hoped," Souma replied.
"… really."
Not noticing the sarcasm, Souma only nodded seriously. "I heard martial arts are usually inspired by animals or natural events, so I tried to replicate it with the motions of a blade. Unfortunately, it seems my understanding of a sword was insufficient to translate it fully. I still have much to learn."
"Have you tried using another martial art instead? Like the one they taught us at the Academy?"
"Why would I?" Souma asked, tilting his head in honest confusion. "Swords are better."
Whatever Yohei was about to say in response to Souma's affirmation was cut short by the arrival of a panting Ren, who bent over with one hand braced on his knee, the other raised with a finger up as he tried to catch his breath.
Once he'd recollected himself, he threw his head back with a laugh, cheeks still faintly red as he grinned at them.
"Now I'm feeling like an idiot for telling you guys not to be late and then being the last one to get here," he said, rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment.
"It's okay, I just got here," Yohei said, waving it off. "What about you, Souma?"
"I've been here for thirty minutes," the white-haired boy answered, making the other two blink at him.
"Did you just pick up your sword before coming?" Yohei asked faintly.
Much to their horror, Souma nodded. "My house was on the way."
'That's not the problem here!' Yohei thought, shooting a pleading look at Ren. Ren let out a long-suffering sigh but gave him a small smile with a raised eyebrow.
"Don't worry, I brought some extra supplies," he said, unstrapping two of the pouches on his belt and handing them to Souma. The latter opened them to reveal shuriken, kunai, caltrops, and ninja wire.
Souma stared at the contents, completely baffled. "But… I got my sword now." He lifted the blade slightly, as if afraid they might've forgotten.
"Just… keep them with you. Just in case, you know?"
Souma scratched the side of his head in confusion but complied, tying the pouches to his legs.
Yohei was starting to understand – painfully well – why his teammates and… well, himself, he supposed, hadn't made it through this exam in the version of events he remembered.
Choosing to ignore Souma's one-track-mindedness for the sake of his own sanity, he turned to Ren, who was looking down at a small pocket watch with an engraved flaming eye on the back, an eager look shining in his expression.
"So, what kept you up, Ren?"
The other boy shrugged. "Just a family thing. Everybody cheering me up," he said vaguely. Then, with a not-so-subtle attempt to steer the conversation elsewhere, he asked, "What do you think the exam is gonna be?"
Yohei ran a hand through his hair. "Well, if it was something like direct combat, Hayama-sensei would've told us to meet at one of the Training Grounds inside the village instead of one of the gates. Though I suppose he could just be using this as a meeting point…"
"But it's not likely," Ren agreed, crossing his arms and staring into the distance, chewing on his lower lip. "If we're starting a day early and going outside the village, it's probably something that takes time and needs a lot of space. Maybe tracking? Test us in something none of us specializes in."
He definitely looked worried at the thought.
"Maybe," Yohei conceded. "Could also be something like a treasure hunt – make us look for specific things hidden through the field. Or something endurance-based. Make us survive until tomorrow while he tries to take us out."
"I don't think a jōnin would need to try particularly hard to take us out, dude," Ren snickered.
"Yeah, well, if he's trying to measure us against the standards of a jōnin then we're toast anyway. Gotta be realistic and expect him to hold back in some way," Yohei said with a shrug, though the possibility lingered in the back of his mind. Memories of a dozen different fanfics flashed through his head – stories where the main character failed because their jōnin sensei set some ridiculous standard, like actually expecting a fresh genin to defeat them at full power.
"You're right," said Hayama from behind them.
All three jumped, whipping around to see him standing there as if he'd always been part of the scenery.
The man didn't acknowledge their surprise. He simply gestured for them to follow and began walking toward the gates. He gave the guards a polite nod; the guards, amused, offered the same to the genin, who hurriedly copied the gesture.
Once they were far enough from the village that the road was swallowed by the colossal trees created by the First Hokage, Hayama glanced back at them.
"Keep up," he said – and then he jumped into the branches above and vanished forward in a smooth burst of speed.
The three genin scrambled to follow, hopping up into the trees. When they caught up, Yohei could've sworn he saw the faintest smile tug at Hayama's mouth before it disappeared into his usual stern mask.
"Your task is simple," the jōnin said once they were all within earshot. "We will be heading to Training Grounds Twenty-Seven, a fenced area of the forest covering ten square kilometers. Inside that space, you will have until tomorrow's sunset to locate and take down a target."
"And this target is…" Yohei trailed off, suspicion mounting.
"Me," Hayama confirmed with a nod.
Yohei and Ren traded deeply worried looks. Souma, meanwhile, looked about as concerned as someone choosing a snack.
"For the first part of the exam," Hayama continued, "I will take no action other than staying away from the three of you. If one of you manages to touch me or land an attack, we proceed to the second part. At that stage, I will engage in combat. I will not use ninjutsu or genjutsu, and I will neither run away nor go on the offensive. I will only defend myself and counterattack."
"Is there anything we're not allowed to do?" Ren asked, brow furrowed in concentration.
"As long as you don't leave the boundaries, anything is allowed. And, of course, you should all come at me with the intent to kill – otherwise I may just fail all of you on principle."
What should have otherwise been a cringy one-liner was delivered with such seriousness and gravitas that Yohei felt a cold shiver run down his spine.
For a brief moment, he reconsidered his mother's offer to join her at the hospital. But he couldn't. This world was on the road to multiple apocalyptic disasters, and he had a chance – however small – to become someone who could actually make a difference when those disasters came knocking.
If he wanted to be that kind of person, he couldn't fold at the first sign of pressure. He couldn't backpedal on his decisions the moment things got scary.
So he swallowed as much hesitation as he could and gave his sensei a somewhat shaky nod. Ren mirrored it, though his eyes were distant, clearly stuck on some internal worry; Souma's nod, meanwhile, was downright decisive, as if the idea of not doing so had never even crossed his mind.
"Good. Since you all seem to have understood, I'll be going ahead. The training grounds are straight ahead – four minutes at this speed. The exam officially begins the moment you pass through the gate." He gave them a heartbeat to absorb that before raising his hands into a seal. "Good luck."
And then he vanished – just a swirl of displaced air and trembling leaves left behind.
[Chapter 6.2 – To be Tested (Part 2)]
As bad an idea as it would normally be, the very first thing Team Five did after crossing into Training Ground Twenty-Seven – after spending the entire run there discussing strategy – was split up.
Under normal circumstances that would have been suicidal. But the rules were on their side: Hayama wouldn't attack at all until he'd been tagged, so the biggest danger of separating was effectively made null. Staying together would restrict them to Ren's pace – the slowest among them – which would waste Souma's speed entirely. And Souma was, by far, the most likely of them to physically tag a jōnin.
Unfortunately, reality had other ideas.
They spent the better part of an hour executing the plan perfectly… with absolutely nothing to show for it. While alone, not one of them managed to catch even the faintest trace of Hayama – not a snapped twig, not a footprint, not a single peek at him. Yet the moment any two of them crossed paths, Hayama would appear at the edge of their vision – just long enough for their minds to register him – before vanishing again, leaving them scrambling in his wake.
Only when all three of them were together would he appear fully, standing just barely within their field of view. And then he would run – always staying at a fixed distance, perfectly matching whatever speed they chose. If even one of them sped up and left the others behind, he would match that speed… and then disappear once they split up.
It was infuriating. Their target was right there – tauntingly close – and still utterly unreachable no matter how hard they pushed themselves.
Worse, it was terrifying.
Because as the hour passed and night fell… Hayama never once showed the slightest sign of exertion.
Meanwhile, part of Team Five was already panting, stumbling, and utterly exhausted from the ceaseless chase.
Yohei considered using Extreme Muscle Assault, but he doubted he'd be able to overtake the jōnin even with that. Maybe, eventually, he could catch up – maybe – but by then he'd be tired, sore, and running on less chakra than he was comfortable with for the second part of the task. And even that depended entirely on Hayama not choosing to simply vanish, which the man had proved he could do easily and consistently.
Still, the frustration was chewing at his ribs. If this went on much longer, Yohei was pretty sure he'd lose it and try to buff up and throw a tree at the fast bastard just out of spite.
Something else broke the stalemate first.
Ren, struggling to keep up and already visibly exhausted, missed a step on a branch and tumbled toward the ground. Yohei tried to stop immediately, twisting and kicking off the side of a tree to bleed momentum before launching himself back-
He wasn't going to make it.
Thankfully, Souma's reflexes matched his speed; in a blinding flash he went from being ahead of Yohei to streaking past him, catching Ren before he hit the forest floor.
Yohei hurried over to them, touching solid ground for the first time in hours. The phantom sensation of constant branch-leaping clung to his legs, leaving a weird, unpleasant feeling – like stepping off a trampoline and having his balance argue with him. He stumbled once before steadying himself.
"Damn it!" Ren snarled, frustration and rage twisting together as he punched the bark of the tree he'd been set against.
Yohei scanned him quickly – flushed face, bloodshot eyes, chest heaving with ragged breaths, mist puffing into the cold night with every exhale. His limbs trembled, sweat soaked through his clothes, and he looked one bad push from fainting.
"Did you get injured?" Yohei asked, worry jumping straight to his throat as he glanced at Ren's legs. If he had… their chances dropped from "low" to "laughable." The thought made Yohei curse his past self for not begging his mother to teach him Iryōnin basics. Even without Healing Palms, he could've at least known how to assess or stabilize something.
"N-" cough. "No." Ren rasped between coughs as he fought to steady his breathing.
Yohei let out a long breath of relief, then looked around. Hayama was gone – again – leaving only the forest's quiet and the fading disturbance in the branches above. He frowned.
With lips pressed tight, he finally said what he'd been thinking for minutes now. "We can't keep going like this."
"No shit," Ren shot back, voice sharp and dripping with aggrieved sarcasm – before he winced, shoulders hunching. "...Sorry. Sorry. You're right. We can't."
Ignoring Ren's slip for what it was, Yohei waved it off and sat down – grateful to get off his feet for even a moment. He didn't let himself fully relax, though; he kept an eye on the tree line, even if Souma – far more composed than the two of them – was already standing guard, one hand resting on the hilt of his sword, posture alert.
"We need to rest," Yohei said, thinking aloud. "Actual rest. Find somewhere decent to make camp, try to sleep as much as we can, set a rotation. Get our strength back for tomorrow. At this rate, we're gonna pass out before we even scratch Hayama-san."
"We can't." Ren immediately shook his head, fierce and unyielding. "A jōnin never does anything without a reason. We were given more than twenty-four hours for a reason. And the fact he only shows himself when we're together? Not a coincidence."
"And that reason would be…?" Yohei prompted.
Ren looked between him and Souma, licked his lips, then lowered his voice. "Look… my family has a lot riding on me making it as a ninja this year and rising through the ranks fast. So they've been trying to get every advantage they can – including looking into who might end up as my sensei."
He closed his eyes briefly, reciting like he'd drilled it a hundred times: "Shirakumo Hayama. Thirty-three years old. Made jōnin seven years ago. Only took one team before us – all of them already promoted to chūnin. So now he's looking for another team to train. He's completed 799 missions: 173 D-Rank, 204 C-Rank, 256 B-Rank, 152 A-Rank, and 14 S-Rank. Most of his missions are team-based and categorized as Search-and-Destroy."
Opening his eyes again, he finished, "That's why he's testing us like this. He's checking our endurance and teamwork. Seeing if we can handle the physical and mental pressure of long missions where you have to keep moving nonstop while tracking a target."
Realization – and no small amount of surprise – washed over Souma's face. Yohei rubbed his chin, absorbing it. It made sense. Annoying, exhausting sense.
"What do you propose then?"
Ren smirked, though it was shaky around the edges. He reached into a pouch and pulled out a small transparent flask filled with dark little pellets.
"Soldier Pills," Yohei said, eyebrows rising.
Ren nodded. "Remember the rules: Sensei can't do anything to us in the first part of the exam except run away. My plan is simple – each of us takes a Soldier Pill, then we start chasing him at max speed. Every time we start lagging behind, we take another."
He shook the flask lightly, pellets clacking.
"He might have way more natural stamina than we do, but I seriously doubt he can run at full speed for twenty-four hours straight. We could, with these."
"Then, when he starts lagging, we tag him," Souma said – only for Ren to shake his head, his grin widening like he'd been waiting for that exact question.
"No. Better than that. We keep running after we reach the point we could catch him. Let him get exhausted – then the second phase will be way easier." He pushed himself upright, pressing a Soldier Pill into Souma's impressed hand and offering another to Yohei with a bright, confident smile.
Yohei accepted it, staring at the little pellet for a few seconds before frowning and shaking his head. "I don't think this is going to work."
"…Why?" Ren asked, grin faltering.
Yohei scratched the back of his head and let out a slow exhale.
'Because we didn't pass in the canon timeline,' he thought grimly.
But that wasn't something he could exactly say. So instead he had to treat it like an actual analysis: Why wouldn't this work? What overlooked flaw ruined it originally?
"We're making a lot of assumptions with this plan – really optimistic assumptions, which are the most dangerous kind." Yohei held up a finger. "First: we're assuming the Soldier Pills will let us perform at top shape for more than a full day. And… maybe? But the 'fight for three days and nights' thing only works if you have breaks between fights and you're not pushing your body into the ground."
He tapped the flask Ren held. "Soldier Pills are for emergencies. They keep you awake and give a short burst of energy. They don't fix muscle damage, they don't stop your reflexes from dulling, and they definitely don't prevent mental exhaustion. We could probably force ourselves to keep moving, but our actual performance would tank hard."
He raised a second finger. "Second: we're assuming Sensei will keep acting the exact same way he has so far. Yeah, he's been consistent – but he never said any of that was part of the exam. He could literally just… stop. Hide somewhere and rest. Stay perfectly still until the end of the time limit. We already know we can't find him if he doesn't want to be found."
Yohei met Ren's eyes. "And that's assuming he even needs to rest. You said it yourself – he's a veteran of Search-and-Destroy missions. How many high-level shinobi do you think he's hunted for more than a day straight? Are we really betting that we can outlast him when we've only got twenty-four hours?"
He raised a third finger. "And finally – this plan assumes that the only factors in this test are us… and him."
He let that hang for a second, gaze shifting between his teammates.
"We aren't the only variables here."
"You're talking about Chakra Beasts," Ren said, face twisting sour and dour, lips tight.
Yohei nodded. "We haven't seen many yet, thankfully – but I did spot a few. And night is when the worse ones come out. If one catches our scent and decides we're a good snack, then not only does all the time you want to buy us go straight into the trash, but we'll burn energy the Soldier Pills can't replace."
A heavy silence crashed down over them.
Suddenly every sound of the forest felt amplified – the distant screech of some night bird, the rustle of leaves shifting in the cold air, a long, low howl somewhere far off in the dark.
"Fuck!" Ren snapped, dragging a hand down his face and pinching the bridge of his nose. "Fuck, fuck, fuck-"
Yohei and Souma let him spiral quietly, each giving him space. Souma glanced awkwardly at the Soldier Pill lying in his own palm – the one he'd spit out mid-explanation – unsure what to even do with it now.
When Ren finally exhaled, it was sharp and shaky. His scarlet eyes met Yohei's blue ones, the exhaustion in them suddenly very obvious.
"What's your plan, then?" he asked.
"Yeah… that's the problem," Yohei said with a humorless laugh, "I don't have one either."
Before Ren could snap something back, Yohei pushed on: "What I do know is that we're not going to catch Hayama-san by exhausting him. And we can't afford not to rest. I say we find a safe place, make camp for the night. Tomorrow, with clearer heads, we come up with a real plan. Remember – Sensei can't leave the Training Grounds. We're not chasing a real fugitive. No matter how much time we give him, he can't prepare anything or make himself harder to catch."
Ren and Yohei held each other's gaze for a solid second – frustration etched on both faces.
Fear flickered under Yohei's; anxiety under Ren's.
But at last, the smaller boy let out a long sigh and nodded.
He turned to the third member of their little trio.
"What about you, Souma-kun? What do you think?" Ren asked tiredly.
Souma tilted his head, glanced up in thought, then answered calmly, as if it were the most logical idea in the world:
"You two could go to sleep while I keep running after him. I'm not really tired yet."
Silence.
Absolute, utter silence.
Ren stared at him.
Yohei stared at him.
Both with the exact same expression: What the actual hell did you just say?
Then Yohei snorted. Tried to stifle it. Failed completely.
A laugh burst out of him – quiet, but uncontrollable. Tears gathered in the corners of his eyes as he curled forward, shoulders shaking.
Souma blinked at him, visibly confused, like he genuinely didn't understand what part of that was strange.
Ren, meanwhile, gave a twisted little smile. Both his hands slowly raised toward Souma, fingers curling as though he were imagining wrapping them around the taller boy's throat.
"Oi, oi, oi, Souma-kun," he said, voice trembling with exhausted hysteria. "You just said some truly absurd shit, you know? You're making me feel bad, you know? What kind of freak are you, Sou-Ma-Kun~?" His grin stretched sharper. "If you've got all that energy, why don't you share a bit with us mortals, hmmmmm?"
Souma shook his head solemnly. "I'm sorry. I haven't learned that technique."
That sent Yohei right back into hysterics. He doubled over, collapsing to his knees, one hand over his mouth and the other clutching his stomach as he wheezed with laughter. Ren let out an explosive, soul-deep sigh and looked up toward the heavens like he was asking whichever god was on shift tonight to save him.
"Alright. I'm tired as fuck. Any more of this and I swear I'll kill one of you. Let's go find a cavern or something."
"Caverns are dangerous shelters in forests like this," Souma informed, perfectly earnest. "They often serve as lairs for bears and wolves."
Ren choked, then stared at him like he was genuinely planning murder.
A brittle, slightly hysterical laugh broke out of him. "Oh, I hope there's a bear. I'm hungry too."
-~=~-
In the end, they didn't find a cavern. Instead, they made camp on a rocky, slightly elevated patch of forest. The height and sparse vegetation gave them good visibility in every direction. The downside, however, was the cold – biting, persistent, and already creeping under their clothes.
For practicality's sake, they agreed two of them would sleep inside the single bedroll Yohei had brought – Ren had forgotten to pack one entirely, never imagining they'd need to sleep during the test, and Souma had brought nothing but his sword – while the third kept watch.
"I'll take first watch," Souma said immediately, even before the discussion had fully started.
"Then I'll take second," Yohei said. "You need as much sleep as you can get, Ren."
That earned him an eye-roll, but Ren didn't argue. He climbed into the bedroll without complaint.
"Don't hesitate to wake us if anything weird happens, Souma," Yohei added.
The white-haired boy nodded with solemn seriousness, already seated with his sword across his lap, posture straight as a temple guardian.
Getting into a bedroll with another guy was… yeah, a little awkward. But exhaustion and cold were great motivators to shove embarrassment aside. Yohei wriggled in, settling back-to-back with Ren. He tucked an arm under his head like a pillow and felt sleep tugging at him hard and fast.
But just as he was sliding under, Ren's voice nudged his ear.
"Hrm?" Yohei grunted, half-asleep. He hadn't caught a word.
"I said: I'm sorry." Ren repeated, louder this time. His voice was muffled by the bedroll. "For… you know. Being moody. Making a dumb plan. I-"
He stumbled over the rest, the words dissolving uselessly before they could form.
"Don't-" Yohei began, but a yawn hijacked the middle of it. "Don't worry. I get it. Maybe not your exact situation but… I broke down a few nights ago. Full-on bawling, thrashing in bed like a kid, if you'd believe it."
He let out a tired little huff. "We're under a lot of pressure. It's… a lot for one person to carry alone."
"… yeah."
"But you're not alone, dude," Yohei said sleepily. "None of us are. And you know what? We're fucking amazing. Souma's a freak who can keep going forever, I'm strong as hell, and you're smarter than both of us put together."
"Fat lot of good it did me," Ren mumbled. "You're the one who stopped me from fucking us up."
"Yeah, well, you're also kind of a wimp."
"Fuck you," Ren said – surprised, but amused.
Yohei snickered. "So rest up nice and good, wimpy, so tomorrow you can make a good plan with that big beautiful brain of yours."
"…Calling my brain beautiful has got to be the gayest thing anyone's ever said to me."
"Shut the fuck up, I'm sleepy," Yohei laughed. "Now shoo, go to sleep or I'll knock you out."
Ren laughed too, and quiet settled over them again.
"…Thanks."
Yohei's reply came out half-garbled, half-asleep – something like "yer welcome," swallowed by a yawn and the slack weight of drifting off.
[Chapter 6.3 - To be Tested (Part 3)]
A few hours later, Yohei was gently shaken awake by Souma, who somehow looked exactly as composed as he had at sunset – barely a hair out of place. Yohei wriggled out of the bedroll, earning a miserable groan from Ren, who'd cocooned himself in the remaining warmth. Muttering curses at the cold, he shrugged back into his jacket, then pushed himself to his feet and did a few light stretches to get his blood moving.
The moon still hung high when his shift began. Staying awake was a battle – bugs chirping, leaves rustling, wind brushing branches… exactly the kind of sounds he used to play to help himself sleep in his other memories.
Still, he was grateful for the calm. It meant nothing big, hungry, and territorial had wandered close enough to sniff them out. Even if he wanted to believe in his own strength – at least against anything low-level he might run into here – there was a tight, unfamiliar anxiety in his chest at the idea of fighting something that genuinely wanted to kill him.
Or maybe… maybe it wasn't unfamiliar. Maybe he'd just never let himself look at it before.
Had he ever actually thought about what it meant to become a shinobi?
How many people he'd have to kill?
How many he'd have to murder?
How many he'd need to deceive?
Could he pretend to be someone else, build trust with strangers, then betray them because the mission demanded it?
Could he drag home the runaway daughter of a noble – someone terrified, begging for help – because returning her was "the job"?
Could he, someday, send children into danger, knowing some of them wouldn't come back, because the numbers said that was the path that saved the most lives?
…
He knew the answer.
He didn't.
Yohei didn't need much introspection to find his answers. There wasn't even room for doubt.
If he were ever ordered to do something that violated his morals, he'd refuse – no matter what it cost him. Even if they branded him a traitor to Konoha. Even if they killed him for it.
Some people would probably call that cowardice. Or stupidity.
But Yohei had never claimed to be brave, or smart.
He was more afraid of becoming a monster than he was of dying.
He'd already died once, after all.
-~=~-
"Sleep well?" Yohei asked in a teasing whisper as he shook Ren awake, taking in the… regrettable position the smaller boy had ended up in.
Souma, apparently, was a cuddler. A strong cuddler. And Ren was, unfortunately, pretty much teddy-bear-sized.
"I'm going to kill this fucker," Ren hissed, trying – and failing – to pry himself out of the white-haired boy's arms.
Yohei snorted. "You sure are cursing a lot now. Didn't think you even knew this many swears before."
"Yeah, well, I noticed neither of you is a hot chick, so I realized I don't need to pretend to be charming."
"I'm not charm-worthy?" Yohei put a hand to his chest with mock offense.
Ren finally managed to wriggle free and crawl out of the bedroll, rolling his eyes. "Grow your hair out, get a few dozen centimeters in the tits department, and then we'll talk."
"You're a tits guy?" Yohei asked, face twisting in exaggerated disappointment.
"You got a problem with that?" Ren shot back, eyebrow arched.
"No, no, nothing," Yohei said quickly – too quickly. "I mean, it's a little basic. Boring choice, really. But hey, nothing wrong with being basic."
"Oh, fuck you. Fine then – what do you like in a woman?"
"Look, there's nothing wrong with tits. They're great! But do I think a woman needs tits to be hot? Fuck no. Now, hips and ass on the other hand…"
Ren scoffed. "Even guys can have wide hips and a big ass. Only real women have a pair of fat tits."
"I mean, if it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck…
"
They lock eyes – Yohei grinning like he's just tossed a grenade, Ren staring flatly back at him.
A long beat.
Then both of them burst out laughing.
"You're ridiculous," Ren said between chuckles. "Aren't you going to sleep? This is my shift now."
"And let you get blackmail material on me like I just got on you? Not a chance." Yohei's grin widened.
"Fucker," Ren muttered, rolling his eyes as he walked to the edge of the rocky outcrop where they'd set up camp. He plopped down, arms crossed. "If you're not going to sleep, then do something useful and tell me what you think of my plan."
"Oh? You already have a plan?" Yohei grinned as he followed after him. "Knew I could count on you, Wimpy."
"You'll see wimpy when I give you third-degree burns in our first training match," Ren shot back, flipping him off without looking. "Anyway – shut up and sit down. I'm still figuring out the details."
"Alright, alright," Yohei said, lowering himself beside him. "Hit me."
Despite hurrying him, Ren stayed quiet for a moment, gathering his thoughts. When he finally spoke, his voice was steady.
"First – what I said yesterday still stands. Shirakumo-san has expectations for this exam. He couldn't have known I'd have prior information about him, so designing something that mirrors the missions he usually takes just to fake us out… that doesn't make sense."
He exhaled sharply.
"The real problem is that I don't think the three of us fit what he wants in a genin team. Not personality-wise – we actually work pretty well together. I mean compatibility. Fighting styles. Skill sets."
"So what? We just give up, go home, and try again with another sensei next year?" Yohei asked with a raised brow, tone dripping with teasing.
"Fuck no," Ren scoffed. "Just because he wants us to pass in a specific way doesn't mean we have to care. You were right yesterday – we won't beat him through attrition. We don't have the stamina or the techniques for that. But he chained himself with rules. Some he said out loud, some he didn't."
Yohei leaned forward. "You're talking about his behavior."
"Yeah. Move between us if we split. Stay at the perimeter if we're paired. Stay in our sight if we're all together. You said he didn't have to follow any of that – and that's true. But we don't need him to keep it all the way to the end. We just need him to keep it long enough for us to set the board."
Ren pulled a senbon from the pouch on his leg and used the tip to scratch a square into the dirt, dividing it into neat, angular sections.
"One benefit of running around like headless chickens yesterday is that we covered basically the whole terrain. I've got a pretty solid idea of what we can do with it."
"Traps," Yohei said immediately.
"Yep," Ren agreed. "A lot of traps. All of the traps. Remember what he said? For the first part of the exam, he'll do nothing except keep away from us – and I'm pretty sure that includes disarming traps. Now, none of us can make anything subtle enough to fool him, but we don't need subtle. Honestly, it's better if they're obvious so none of us get caught. As long as there's enough of them, we can use sheer quantity to… well, trap him."
"Hm… And how do we get time to set all that up?" Yohei asked, rubbing his chin.
"We flip the game on the bastard," Ren said, a wicked grin spreading across his face. "He had us running after him all afternoon and night – so now it's his turn to run. I'm thinking you and Souma pair up. You two pretend you're trying to catch him through-" He dragged the senbon through the improvised map, slashing several sections. "-all of this here. Meanwhile I'll be turning this corner-" he circled a small section near the entrance gate "-into a very special kind of hell. When you're tailing him, start lagging your speed a bit after a couple minutes. Pretend you're tired or bored. Saves your energy and sells the act."
Yohei nodded along, impressed. "Sounds great, but how're we gonna guide him into the traps?"
Ren gave him a confident, borderline smug smile. "Remember what we talked about on the rooftop yesterday?"
Yohei's eyes widened. "Yeah, but can you-?"
"Guess we'll find out." Ren shrugged.
Yohei laughed. "That's insane. You think we'll get in trouble?"
"Well, he did say we could do anything, right? So I'm betting he can't complain." Ren stood up, stretching with a long yawn – only to grimace and sniff under his arm. "Ugh. Before anything, I need a bath. You think Souma's okay with being woken up now? I know it's my turn for watch, but-"
A monstrous rumble ripped through the forest – something between a roar and a pig's scream. Deep, wet, and close. The ground vibrated beneath them.
Both boys froze and traded looks, worry widening their eyes as the sound grew louder.
"I don't think he'll have much of a choice," Yohei muttered, turning sharply toward their sleeping teammate. "Souma! Danger incoming!"
Souma's lilac-blue eyes snapped open on the first heartbeat. By the second, he was already upright – kneeling, sword drawn and gleaming for the first time since Yohei had met him.
The bedroll behind him-
"Son of a- MY BEDROLL! What the hell, Souma!?" Yohei yelped.
What remained of it lay in shreds, fluttering to the ground like confetti.
Souma blinked, tilting his head in confusion as he stood. "My apologies. I thought it was an emergency?"
"It kind of is! Scatter!" Ren barked.
'Don't have to tell me twice,' Yohei thought as he kicked off the ledge, letting a tiny something slip from his hand to the ground.
A heartbeat later, a massive shape slammed into the rocky outcrop where he'd been standing.
"GHROOHHHK-KRAAAH!"
Mid-fall, adrenaline stretched time thin. The thing looked like a boar – if the boar had been raised on steroids, growth hormones, and maybe the souls of bodybuilders. Towering, thick slabs of muscle bulged under coarse dark fur. Its tusks curved wickedly, paired with two horns jutting from its skull. And its legs…
Those were not hooves. Those were clawed, articulated paws, which explained how it climbed the damn cliff.
All in all, it was one of the coolest things Yohei had ever seen.
…He kinda wondered how it tasted.
Spoiler
"Baku!" He snapped the Rat sign, activating the little surprise he'd left behind.
BOOOOM!
The ledge erupted in a messy, violent blossom of fire and shattered stone. The blast thundered through the forest, rock shards clattering like thrown kunai.
"YOU HAVE BOMB TAGS!?" Ren screamed, eyes lighting up with pure feral joy.
Yohei grinned, ready with a witty comeback – but the words died in his throat. A guttural roar rolled out of the smoke, and as it thinned…
"Oh, come on," he breathed.
The monster was still standing. Singed, half its fur burned away… but very, very alive.
"Well. Shit."
"GHRAAOOHHHK-KRAAAAGHH!"
The beast burst from the rubble and charged straight at Ren, who threw a hand up, clearly about to make a handsign – then aborted with a frustrated click of his tongue and immediately bolted.
Yohei, meanwhile, realized the explosion hadn't done nearly enough damage and decided not to waste another tag. Which was…
'Fine. Fucking fine. Time to test its durability the hands-on way.'
Dropping into the standard Academy stance, he lunged at the boar's exposed flank.
It felt like punching a tree trunk.
…Granted, that comparison only worked if you used as a base his past life where he didn't have chakra enhancements.
He barely nudged the thing. But he did get its attention – it huffed, a hot blast of breath blowing his hair back. Yohei leapt away just as its tusks carved a gouge in the dirt.
Souma, quiet as ever, took the distraction to slash at the beast's neck. The most effective attack unitl now, seeing as the blade broke skin… barely… but couldn't dig further.
"It's tough," Souma noted flatly, his voice blending with the creature's furious squeals.
Yohei hissed through his teeth, shaking the sting out of his hand. "Do we have anything that can take down this fucker!?"
"I think I could do it with Katon, but I don't want to waste the chakra!" Ren shouted from a distance, flicking a trio of senbon at the mutated beast still trying very hard to murder a darting, weaving Souma.
Two needles hit the creature's hide and bounced off uselessly. The third, however, went straight into its ear. The beast flinched violently and let out a blood-curdling scream that sent shivers ripping down Yohei's spine. It thrashed, trying to shake the senbon loose – only managing to push it deeper.
"Its insides are soft! We either hit something important or kill it by a thousand cuts!" Ren said, throwing two more senbon at its eye and missing.
Yohei winced. "Can we not? I'd rather waste chakra than slowly torture an animal to death."
"Are you serious right now?" Ren shot back, staring at him like he'd grown a second head.
"I can do it," Souma said then, slipping between them. "I can cut it with a single strike. But I need some time."
Ren looked between the two of them, threw his hands in the air, and groaned. "Fine! Fuck! Just my luck to end up grouped with two bleeding hearts. Yohei – I'll draw its attention. You keep me alive while Souma does… whatever it is he wants to do."
Yohei nodded. When he looked back at the monster boar, it had managed to claw the senbon out, though in the process it had torn its own ear open. Blood streamed down the side of its head. It lowered its body and snorted furiously, one eye bloodshot and shaking with rage.
The moment it caught their attention on it, it charged – and the three of them scattered.
Yohei spotted immediately that Ren hadn't jumped as far as he and Souma had. Scooping up a stone, he hurled it at the monster's already-damaged eye. The rock did basically nothing… except piss it off enough to make it lunge after him instead. Perfect.
He kept just close enough that the beast would stay locked onto him, but always with enough space to dodge away, leading it step by step closer to the treeline.
This dangerous dance ended when the animal, in a surprisingly cunning move, pretended to fall for one of Ren's feints – only to suddenly pivot and leap at him.
Yohei moved instantly.
Launching himself from a tree branch, he dropped straight onto the boar, one hand clamping around a horn as he let his momentum drag both him and the monster sideways. They crashed down in a violent tumble, Yohei rolling off to bleed off the impact.
The boar was back on its feet before he was.
The boar twisted toward him in a sprint, its massive body pivoting so fast that its back now faced Ren – meaning any thrown weapons would just sink uselessly into tough hide instead of hitting a weak point.
Yohei was already bracing himself, chakra flooding into his muscles and tendons as he force-tilted its nature toward Yang. Without the proper handseals the process was messy and unstable; he could feel his muscles bulging unevenly, his skin tightening uncomfortably.
He knew he probably wouldn't be able to dodge whatever hit came before the technique finished.
Thankfully, in those precious seconds, a flash of blue flared to the side.
Souma.
The blade of his sword was coated in an azure, flame-like aura as he approached at a breakneck sprint, sword already mid-arc.
Unfortunately, the boar noticed too. It dug its claws into the dirt, desperately trying to stop.
It only half succeeded.
Souma's strike, meant to cleave cleanly through its neck, instead sheared both horns off and carved a gruesome line that ripped away the top half of its snout.
The boar's scream was indescribable – rage, agony, and sheer animal fury all tangled together. It swung a massive clawed forelimb to smash Souma aside.
Souma shifted his stance in a heartbeat. Instead of dodging, he angled his blade, letting the monster's own momentum carry its limb straight into the edge.
The boar severed its own paw.
Running entirely on instinct, it lunged to gore him with its tusks-
-but Yohei was already there.
Extreme Muscle Assault finally snapped fully into place, his body surging with strength. He snatched up one of the severed horns lying on the ground and drove it upward into the soft underside of the beast's jaw.
It jammed halfway in.
With a wordless scream, he kicked the horn with everything he had.
The horn blasted through the creature's skull, its tip bursting out the top of its head.
Silence fell over the battlefield, broken only by Yohei's ragged breathing and the soft crackle of settling dirt. His swollen muscles slowly shrank back to their normal shape, leaving behind a faint tremor in his limbs.
"You know," Ren said dryly, "if you asked me, I think I'd rather bleed to death than have my head impaled like that."
Yohei flipped him off without looking. Ren cackled.
"I'm sorry," Souma said, genuinely embarrassed as he sheathed his sword. "Mother always says I'm bad at hiding my presence when I use Chakra Flow. She keeps telling me I'd make a better samurai than a shinobi."
Yohei stayed quiet for a moment as a strange new weight settled in his chest – one that had appeared the instant the boar fell still.
For one brief, unhinged second he considered summoning the Chaos Scroll right then.
He shut the thought down just as quickly.
'Later. After the exam.'
"It's alright, big guy," he finally said, giving Souma a grin that immediately collapsed into a wince as a trickle of boar blood slid down his forehead and into his mouth. He spat violently. "If anyone's at fault, it's Wimpy-kun over there. He was supposed to be the bait."
"Bitch, I tried. Look at this!" Ren said, scandalized, pointing toward the boar's backside.
Yohei and Souma moved around to see what he was talking about – only to spot two senbon buried deep into-
"What the hell, dude? You pierced its balls?" Yohei asked, horrified.
"And it kept running after you!" Ren barked, still indignant before his expression shifted into a smug smirk. Arms crossed, chin raised, he added, "I suppose my aim was so accurate it didn't even feel them hit. That's what they call Peaceful Killing, right? Man, I'm awesome."
"You're a monster," Yohei corrected, face twisting with nausea.
"I'm not the one covered in blood," Ren shot back.
Yohei opened his mouth – only for another trickle of blood to slide down into it, forcing him to spit violently before he just sagged with a defeated sigh.
"I think I'll also take that bath you were talking about."