FUCK!
I flipped the coffee table, sending an empty mug rolling across the carpet.
FUUUUUUUCK!
I'M SUCH AN IDIOT, GUYS!
I blew my chance! I could have lost my virginity then and there. The pain and terror of my bizzare situation could have been alleviated, hell, it could have all been made worth it, if only I played my cards better, if instead of being a desperate loser I had just a modicum of charm... If only, if only... I could have just got to have some of that sweet American supermodel ass...!!!
I guess when you're a fat bald ugly guy like me, the world itself will conspire against you to the point even my own fucking furniture will get in the way of my happiness. I just came into this world... Ugh...
I sat down on my bed, buried my face in my tiny flabby hands, and I sighed, long and heavy... To be honest, I think I'm overreacting here. I should have handled this better, put on the moves with her. Just the thought made my heart beat faster. How could I stay suave and cool around her when she's so perfect?! She's so amazing!
Well, atleast I got to watch her hastily leave the room earlier, watching those big titties bouncing slightly, and that ass ... Though covered by the camisole, her ass softly bounced and jiggled with each step. Her ass was an onion and it made me want to cry.
Well, I can't just sit here and fantasise. Nor did I feel like spending the next five paragraphs describing an awkward masturbation scene. Maybe I could've gotten away with it when I was more twink-y, but not while I'm recinarnated as a fat balding ugly short guy. Hell no! Nobody wants to read that, unless you're into Fat Bastards, but Fat Bastards are typically taller... And uh, well, talldown there.
Suddenly, I was thinking about dicks... In my old body, that was one thing, but... This was a new body, new arms, new legs, new look.. Wouldn't that mean a new dick, too?
I looked down past my pudgy belly, at the front of my heart pattern boxers. My hand inched tentatively to the waistband...
Wait, what the hell am I doing? I HAVE WORK!
I hopped off the bed. I hurriedly got dressed, made myself look as presentable as I could, and headed out.
I walked alone through the hallway.
"Sylvie?" I called out. I could very faintly hear conversation. I moved towards it.
"Uh, you there, Sylvie?"
I called out again.
"I'm just at the door, sweetie!"
Her voice rang out from further ahead.
I murmured an 'Alright' absent-mindedly. Gosh, this place was a maze. I was supposed to head straight to the front door, but... Room upon room, bathrooms and ensuite bathrooms. Classical Greek statues and a painting of an ancient Emperor watched over me as I walked. Hell, there was even a weird statue of a sphere and I didn't even know what the fuck that was. All I knew is that it was absolutely expensive and rare.
I reached a balcony overlooking the ground floor, and I could hear Sylvie clearer, in conversation with someone. But I didn't care for that right now. As I looked out of my window to see a gated-off front yard where a green Lamborghini lounged in the sun, my only thought was... Wow. I was really, really rich... Where I had no body or looks, I made up for it ten times over in money. I ran a hand over a statue, struck with wonder by the seemingly limitless contents of my bank account. Maybe that's why Sylvie stayed with me. If I was a sexy American supermodel, I'd totally fuck some ugly fat guy if he was loaded.
Speaking of Sylvie, she was at the door. Her laughter echoed through the house.
"Oh, I don't think that's very appropriate..."
Sylvie was talking to someone. My curiosity piqued. Who had rung my door so early in the morning? I descended the stairs, approaching from behind.
I heard him before I saw him. A smarmy, effeminate high pitched voice. Nasallly, ugly... And then, I heard a snicker. An insufferable, annoying snicker.
"Hek-Hek-Hek! Apologies, m'lady!"
I approached the door, confusion on my face. I peered over Sylvie's shoulder to catch a glimpse of who she was talking to... My wife was talking to another guy, who was leant casually in my doorway.
Wait, ANOTHER GUY?!
WHAT THE SHIT?!?!