…The More They Stay the Same
Date: June 7th, 13 years aNb
Days since Team 11 left Mizumiyo Palace: 34
Time: 8:35 PM
"'Hito… We've been wandering forever…" Kimiko Itou finally complained after nearly forty minutes of following her friend. "Are you sure this 'amazing food stand' is even over here? You know you have problems figuring out maps and I'm STARVING…"
"Oh ye of little faith…" Haruno replied. "I recognize that fish game stall; we're nearly there, I promise, Kimi."
Miho Hyuuga looked at Sho before whispering. "He has problems with navigating? How have I never noticed that?"
"Mostly because Itou or I have always handled those duties when the mission calls for it, Sensei." Inugami said, stretching as they passed another group dressed in costumes that were clearly meant to be representations of Team 13; apparently saving the Imperial family and the Mizuzaki dynasty had elevated the Konoha team into pop culture figures.
On the plus side, it meant anyone who saw them assumed the real ninja were just fellow enthusiasts out for the last night of the Festival.
"Still I should…" The Jonin began.
The medic shook his head, interrupting her. "It's a cognitive thing, Sensei; Iruka-sensei and the other teachers at the Academy have tried to help him for YEARS without success. The odd thing is it seems to be limited to actual maps; unlike Developmental Topographical Disorientation, which affects every aspect of spatial awareness, Haruno never gets lost once when he's seen the way to get somewhere or if he's following someone."
"Okay, everyone, we hang a right after the Katanuki stall and… There it is, just as I promised!" Sure enough, there was a rather sizable food stand bearing the name "Wakaki's Yatai" managed by a balding gentleman somewhere between Teuchi Ichiraku and the Sandaime in age. "This place has some pretty wild stuff."
Team 13 approached and began perusing the dinner options. It was pretty standard fare for a festival food cart – fried ramens, yam steaks, mentaiko, takoyaki, and more – but there wasn't anything truly unique about its offerings compared to the dozens of other food vendors they'd passed to get here.
"That's odd…" The brown haired young man said, sounding confused as he looked. "This is DEFINITELY the stall, but that's not the menu he had up when Kanna and I stopped by…"
"Oh, ho… I remember you; the one in the Haruno costume with the lovely white-haired woman from the first night of the Festival!" He grinned at Kimiko before covering his mouth as if embarrassed. "Oh, maybe I shouldn't have mentioned her since you're clearly out on a date with this equally gorgeous brunette…"
Kimiko bit her lower lip in shy embarrassment. 'The old man must be making a joke; I'm nowhere near as good looking as Reiyuriko-nee or Kanna-hime.'
Nakahito blinked a few times, looking over at Itou, who – instead of her normal outfit – was dressed in a yukata that was equally elegant to the one Kanna has worn for their Festival date. The Genin chuckled slightly. "Yeah, Kimi does look pretty amazing in that outfit; I guess I didn't notice it before…" A flush as red as the Genin's jacket appeared across Itou's fair features, eliciting a glance between the last two members of Team 13. "But we're not on a date; we're out with our team." He gestured to Miho Hyuuga, who also wore an elegant yukata to attend the play, and Inugami.
The old man whistled. "I've seen a number of Hyuuga costumes this week, but none who have gone to the lengths to get colored contact lenses!" He smiled at Miho. "Were that I was half my age, I'd be asking you out myself, fair lady."
"Flirt!" The Jonin giggled with a smile.
"What happened to the desserts menu?" Nakahito asked doggedly. "I brought my Team with me so they could try the 'Dynastic Heroes' options Kanna and I enjoyed on our visit."
"Ahhh, the 'After Hours' menu! I don't normally start serving that until 10 PM," Wakaki said with a grin as Nakahito thumped his forehead with the heel of his palm in self-annoyed recollection, "But since it's the last night of the Festival and I'd hate to make these lovelies wait…"
The stall owner flipped a switch and the digital sign changed to read "Wakaki's After Hours" before he pulled the bottom of the menu sign, causing it to roll up and out of view.
The new sign had a number of alcoholic options, including hot mulled wine and tangerine infused whiskey, but the bulk of the sign was dedicated to…
~DYNASTIC HEROES~
Wakaki's award-winning soft pretzel bites, available only during the Festival of Waters, are back!
This year, we celebrate our new Imperial couple and the ninja (and their instructors) who uncovered the Traitor's plot with an array of new sauces and dips!
1. The Imperial Couple: Candied bacon crumble represent the difficult trial Princess Reiyuriko wa Mizuzaki and her husband, Kodansyo wa Kosha, went through to be together as the Goddess intended while a sweet maple syrup glaze is for their long and happy rule together.
2. The Satou Sandstorm: In honor of the lovely Sunagakure kunoichi who compelled the Traitor's confession, we'll coat your order in our unique blend of cinnamon and sugar representing this young heroine's desert homeland.
3. Rose's Thorns: The enigmatic leader of the Suna team that helped save the realm. Mint glazed rose petals in a raspberry rosewater coulis give a sharp but sweet bite for your evening delight.
4. The Electric Lady: The leader of the Konoha team that saved the realm has been a friend of the Throne for many years. In honor of her preferred jutsu element, savor a tangy currant dip that will leave your taste buds tingling.
5. The Wusha Whip: The fourth of our land's new heroines wields a unique weapon: a chain link whip. Freshly made whipped cream paired with a blueberry compote will leave you as floored as she left the traitor.
6. Fist of Vengeance 🌶️: Though the Traitor will have his day in court, one of our new heroes has already given him a taste of the vengeance he deserves. This fiery passion is embodied with a mango habanero sauce to tease and twist your taste buds.
7. Cardiac Arrest 🌶️🌶️🌶️: Our final hero is a medic that took a knife intended to be a killing blow to Lord Daimyo Mizuzaki. Feel the burn of the blade with our Ghost Pepper Queso sauce. Due to intense spiciness, you must sign a consent waiver when purchasing this option.
"Ironically enough, Mr. Wakaki picked something that's rather appropriate for me…" Inugami made a soft whistle with a smile as he collected a waiver and began to fill it out.
"When we visited, I was tempted to try the one based on me, but I was worried it might be too much for Kanna."
'Aww, little miss prim and proper can't handle a little bit of heat.' Kimiko silently thought contemptuously.
"Oh, are you talking about her drupe protein allergy?" Sho asked as he handed the signed waiver over to the owner. "She doesn't have that anymore."
"Say what?!" Haruno's surprise was palpable even as Kimiko hid a grimace... She hadn't even considered that the white-haired princess might have had a food allergy!
The medic nodded as he pulled out his passport, handing it to old man Wakaki to prove his identity. The street vendor's eyes widened in disbelief at the revelation that the young man before him – and by extension the others – were not merely citizens in costumes, but the real thing! "The stuff that treated her after the assassination attempt patched that particular defect. She could eat her weight in mangoes, cashews and related fruits and nuts; all it will do now is give her a minor stomach ache… from eating too much."
"Really?" Nakahito asked with a grin. That particular allergy hadn't come up during their hotpot date in the gardens simply because those types of fruit and nuts weren't really used in that type of cuisine. "Well, at least she doesn't have to practically jump out of her skin the next time I try to offer her some of my cherry chunk ice cream…" He clapped the other young man on the shoulder. "At this rate you're going to cure the common cold one of these days."
Inugami chuckled, accepting back his passport along with his order of the Cardiac Arrest bites. "Can't take the credit for it, though; her treatment came from an all-natural source. And it's not the easiest of things to come by, so it'll never be a commonly available option." He replied as he reached for his wallet.
The street vendor's hands came up waiving him off. "On the house." He gestured to the rest of the team. "For all of you; our country owes the four of you a debt we could never hope to repay."
Nakahito and Kimiko both squirmed slightly; Haruno's parents had raised him to not accept handouts lightly – lessons that had rubbed off on Itou as well. "Can we at least leave a tip, Wakaki-san?"
"I feel bad that I took your money the other night by assuming you were just another costumed celebrant…" The old man said with a thoughtful frown as he rubbed the light stubble on his chin. Then his eyes lit up as he had a flash of inspiration. "Tell you what; try whatever you want and if you like it, write a short review for me so I can use it in next year's advertising. That'll help far more than a tip. Deal?"
The duo glanced at Miho to verify they were allowed to make a deal like that, to which the Jonin nodded. "That is an acceptable trade as long as you make it clear in your reviews that you are endorsing Wakaki-san's products as yourselves, not as ninja of Konoha." Itou and Haruno stepped up to place their orders as Sho walked past her. The steam wafting up from his bowl with its fried dough balls liberally drowned in a chunky, thick white cheese sauce instantly made Hyuuga's eyes water even as her pert nose began to burn. "Oh my God, Sho; how can you possibly consider eating that?" She gasped, pulling out a handkerchief to dab at the tears.
"With great gusto, Miho-sensei." Inugami replied with a wide grin and a deep breath as he took a seat at one of the nearby picnic tables. He plucked one of the streaming balls out with his bare fingers, gently blowing on it before it vanished into his mouth. "Oh, dear Gods that's good…" He moaned softly, closing his eyes to savor the snack food. "Dad would LOVE this…"
Kimiko was the next one over, carrying one of the Wusha Whips along with a spork so she could scoop up some of the blueberry sauce, but still spear the dessert version of the street food. She giggled at the medic. "Geez, I don't think I've ever seen someone having a religious experience before, Sho."
"Ha, ha, funny girl." Inugami said with a grin as he finally swallowed his first bite. "The cuisine from Mom's homeland might focus more on the earthy depths of the flavors – not really a surprise for a country where the average high during the summer is under 20° C and lasts maybe a month at most – but Dad fell in love with spicy food while serving as a cultural ambassador to the Land of Iron when he was younger than you and Haruno."
"Your Dad spent time in samurai country? Did he graduate the Academy early or something, Sho?" Nakahito asked, surprised, as he took a seat with his food. The glaze on his version was a similar shade of orange to Motoko's hair, causing the medic to fall silent for a moment as he wondered if she'd gotten his letter yet and how she was handling it.
> Probably about as well as we are. < Ohs grumbled in annoyance.
"Earth to Inugami!"
"Hmm?" The white-haired teen blinked. "Oh, sorry. I honestly don't know how it worked back then; the Second Great Ninja War had been raging for about three years when Kiheita-ojiisan died and the Sandaime sent Dad to learn from and teach medical ninjutsu to his father's people out west."
Miho Hyuuga joined her team with the almost Tyrian purple glazed pretzel bites. "The guidelines shift based on the needs of Konoha. Speaking from direct knowledge, the kids that entered the Academy with Kakashi-senpai typically became Genin between eight and nine years old, but that was in the early days of the Third Great Ninja War when we were short on manpower from the prior War's loses. In comparison, members of my Academy class were roughly eleven when we were deemed eligible for the graduation tests the year after the Kyuubi attacked the Village. You three have grown up in a time of relative peace where we have plenty of combat power, so we were able to afford to let you be children without pressuring you excessively."
> Some of us got that benefit more than others. < Imaguni Ohs bitterly grumbled.
"What about someone like Sho; you know, if he hadn't been running his little experiment on the rest of us?" Kimiko asked curiously as she and Nakahito took the first bites of their food.
"Oh, if a student shows clearly exceptional capabilities, they can test out early. Take Kakashi-senpai; he was in the Academy just over a year, a Chuunin by 6, and a Jonin by 12. And he isn't even the record holder for the first or last ones." Haruno and Itou suddenly began coughing in shock.
"Holy shit..." The red clad ninja wheezed, grabbing the complimentary glass of milk that had come with his order. "I was not expecting either how intense that heat was going to be or what you just said, Miho-sensei…"
The younger kunoichi nodded in agreement before looking at their last member. "Where do you think you would be now, Sho; you know in a perfect world?"
Inugami was silent a moment as both he and Ohs contemplated the question. "Hard to say; I mean, technically in a 'perfect' world I would have been in last year's graduating class since I wouldn't have been in a coma after the explosion that did this…" He gestured to his white hair. "…to me. It also means I probably wouldn't have become Oni since I only got lost during that field trip because Saki-obaasan had just passed. Chuunin would be an easy money call, but I'm thinking Tokubetsu Jonin is more likely."
Miho Hyuuga shook her head. "Given what you've already demonstrated, I'd have to agree with you, but I think you'd probably be a Jonin Exam candidate, if you hadn't already been directly promoted by the Sandaime, that is."
Inugami shrugged, shaking his head. "And all it would have cost me is meeting and knowing Motoko-sa." He popped another of his pretzel balls in his mouth. "Hard pass."
This elicited a smile from the rest of his team who were genuinely happy for the medic and the swordswoman.
Sho glanced curiously at Nakahito's dish. "Mind if I try one of those, Haruno? I'd offer one mine in return, but if you can't handle the heat of a habanero, the Cardiac Arrest would probably kill you like the critical medical emergency it's named for."
"I didn't say I couldn't handle it; I said it caught me by surprise!" Nakahito growled, his temper flaring at the perceived slight. He reached over and nabbed one of the white sauce coated bites, tossing it in his mouth without thinking twice.
Half a second later, beads of sweat appeared on his forehead and his lower lip trembled slightly as his throat reluctantly bobbed when the spicy bite went down. "See? Handled." He wheezed, looking like he wanted nothing more than to chug his glass of milk to put out the fire in his mouth, throat and stomach. "They're a little hotter than I care for, but not bad."
"Clearly." Inugami said with that sarcastic little smirk that always set Haruno's temper off like a red flag in front of a bull, as he took one of his teammate's orange colored bites and began chewing with a smile. "Oh, wow; those are almost as sweet as Motoko-sa's kisses."
Their curiosity finally getting the better of them, Miho and Kimiko also grabbed Fist of Vengeance bites and began chewing. They smiled at first at the sweet peachy/pineappley tang of the mangoes…
And then the chemical fire of the capsaicin ignited in their mouths. Silver and brown eyes widened in utter shock and they quickly – but discretely as a crowd had begun to line up for Wakaki's wares – disposed of the offending pastries in their paper napkins before chugging down both boys' glasses of milk.
Nakahito winced as his emergency lifeline disappeared.
"How can you two act like you enjoy eating napalm like that..?" Kimiko gasped as she set Nakahito's emptied glass back in front of him.
'> Three… Two… One…<' Both halves of Inugami's mind silently counted down.
"All right, Sho; just you and me – let's see who can really handle the heat now that we're out of milk! First one whose eyes water, loses."
Kimiko's hand moved up to cover her face in embarrassment. "I should NOT have said that… What was I thinking..?"
'He's almost as much of a sucker as Saki-obaasan used to say Lady Tsunade was.' Sho thought to Ohs.
> I wonder who's worse; Tsunade-sama or Raiden… <
'I doubt we'll ever find out since she left Konoha during that brief peace between the Second and Third Great Ninja Wars and hasn't been home since.'
"All right." Inugami agreed. "Loser has to carry the team's bags back to Konoha when the judge finally accepts the fact that Akechi wa Jubei is gone, throws out his case and lets us FINALLY go home… And they have to keep pace with the rest of us while doing so."
Nakahito, however – surprising the rest of the Team – paused; visions of Inugami trying to buy half of Kawa City just to make him suffer more filling his mind. "Ha, no. I'm not a bet-obsessed idiot like your girlfriend's twin… Each other's bags and only what we came down here with; any souvenirs bought down here don't count."
"Deal." He pushed his bowl of bites into the middle beside Nakahito's. "We alternate between mine and yours until we run out. If neither of us lose, we go for a tiebreaker."
Nakahito nodded. "Miho-sensei, would you be so kind as to ask Wakaki-san for a full jug of milk so Sho can put out the fire in his belly after he loses?" He asked the Jonin, feeling confident in himself.
"Oh, 'Hito…" Hyuuga sighed, knowing there was no point in trying to convince the youngest of the three to reconsider, as she stood up to get in line.
The two young men, in unison, reached for the dish opposite from the last one they'd eaten.
~•~
"How the hell are you so relaxed?!" Nakahito gasped through stinging, but not yet watering, eyes as Miho-sensei returned with the milk – at last! – his body begging him to try to calm the screaming fire in his mouth.
Inugami ate the last of the soft pretzel bites covered with the Cardiac Arrest ghost pepper glaze as easily as Kimiko and Miho were eating the bites with the desserts based on their ninja dossier outfits. "Three reasons: One, as I said before, Dad likes his food on the spicier side, so the entire family has built up a tolerance to capsaicin. Two, I naturally have a lower TRPV1 receptor count than most people – that's the part of the body that reacts to the alkaloid."
Haruno wiped the sweat from his face, breathing was beginning to burn his lungs like the time he tried to use Sasuke's Fireball jutsu that the Uchiha had earned the top grade in Ninjutsu for unleashing. "Fucking hell… Wait… That's only two reasons; what's the third?"
"I'm a medic-nin and half Roshyan; I wanted to really taste the flavors without the burn." He shrugged. "So I turned what few TRPV1 receptors I have off completely before I took the first bite."
Inugami gave him a wide grin after pausing just long enough for Nakahito to process what he'd said.
Nakahito Haruno grimaced as he finished the last bite of his dish; feeling a flash of rage, but thoughts of Kanna giving him a stern yet loving look quickly filled his mind, allowing him to not only calm down, but to see the humor in it for a change.
"You cheating son of a bitch…" He growled, but with the hint of a rueful smile.
An impressed look actually flickered across Sho's face; he'd expected the usual explosion of frustration. "Miho-sensei, if a ninja fails to do proper reconnaissance when undertaking a mission, is the target cheating when things don't go as planned?" He deadpanned to the Jonin.
A giggle of laughter escaped Hyuuga's wine colored purplish-red lips – she hadn't expected one of the medic's practical object lessons now of all times – but she quickly clamped down on it. "Sorry, 'Hito, but he makes a valid point; especially if he mentioned that his family likes spicy things. On that alone, you should have realized you were facing an uphill battle."
"That said," The Jonin looked at Inugami, a slight chastisement in her tone. "You did accept the bet in bad faith by not telling him he literally could not win. The Sandaime would never knowingly send ninja on a mission with zero chance of success; anything under 25% would be strictly on a volunteer basis."
"And had Haruno lost, I wouldn't have made him hold up his end of the deal." The medic-nin agreed as he stood up, sliding the pitcher of milk over to his foolish teammate before heading over to the line. "Clear your palate, Haruno; I'll be leveling the playing field for the tiebreaker."
"Is he distracted?" Nakahito asked softly.
Kimiko looked surreptitiously at Sho. "Yeah, his back is turned and he's talking with the people in front of him."
"Oh, thank God…" Nakahito whimpered, grabbing the entire jug and began chugging it; tears leaking copiously from his eyes and nose. "My insides feel like they've fallen into one of the Jigoku areas with fire…"
Itou rolled her eyes at his overly dramatic reference to the Buddhist concept of hell. "I'd have sympathy for you, 'Hito, but you're the one that challenged him. Sho didn't even mean it as an insult; he phrased it as a warning." As she said this, she noticed something unexpected.
"This food cart is a little off the beaten path, Nakahito." Miho pointed out curiously. "How'd you find it?"
Wiping the tears from his eyes, he pointed at the Katanuki stall visible from the seating area Wakaki's customers were using to relax as the street lights began to turn on. "I wanted to win Kanna a prize from a festival game, but since this isn't one of the Konoha festivals where they have a civilian and a ninja difficulty option, I picked a game where my training wouldn't matter. After I won, we grabbed a bite here."
Hyuuga looked at the stall whose sign indicated they closed at 8:30 PM, then over to Wakaki – who was currently talking with Sho – remembering the old cook saying he didn't start serving the food the Team had ordered tonight until after 10. "So what distracted you so much you missed curfew at 9:30? Sho covered for you, but the maids were gossiping that you and Kanna didn't get back until shortly before we came to get you and Inugami. I gave you a pass, given everything that's been going on, but I'd still like to know."
"Just some shopping." Haruno's ears flushed as he looked down the alleyway. On the far side of the game stand stood a permanent storefront bearing the marquee SOMETHING UNIQUE BOUTIQUE.
There was a soft clatter as Kimiko – who'd slipped away unnoticed while Haruno and Hyuuga talked – set a dish of cherry chunk ice cream in front of her friend. "Here... See if this helps the burning, 'Hito; I know it's your favorite." A soft smile crossed her lips as his eyes lit up.
"Remember the time Mom tried letting us make this in that homemade ice cream toy? The one inside the ball that could be kicked around?" Nakahito chuckled at the memory as he ate a spoonful of the ice cream.
"The one not that wasn't rated for chakra augmented hits?" Itou moaned in embarrassment. She looked at Miho Hyuuga. "We were like 6 and both kicked it at the same time…" The kunoichi made an exploding gesture. "I was picking bits of cherry out of my hair for days afterwards."
"My jacket needed to be washed three times before it stopped smelling of vanilla." Nakahito chuckled, remembering how frustrated his mother had been.
There was sudden clatter as Sho Inugami returned with a large basket of bright red, slightly warty-looking peppers; each about the size of a paper flash bomb. "Ready for that tiebreaker, Haruno?"
The brown haired Genin frowned. "What the hell are those?"
"These are raw Ghost Peppers; the source of the heat in the Cardiac Arrest sauce; Wakaki-san said he has more than enough for the night, so these would go waste otherwise." He held one up. "Stripped of the other ingredients, these will be roughly 3 times hotter. To make things fair, I'll reactivate my TRPV1s and then turn off enough of yours to match." Sho's hand began to glow and he put it to his own mouth.
"And then?" Nakahito asked Inugami's hand moved to his face.
"Then we'll see who can REALLY take the heat by eating the peppers. Same rule as before; first one to openly cry loses."
Haruno's grin was infectious as he picked up a pepper bigger than Sho's. "You're on." He said, twisting off the stem before chewing on the vegetable.
"Za zdorovye!" Inugami agreed, mimicking Haruno's act. As he did so, a few faint beads of sweat appeared on his forehead. "Huh, that's a bit hotter than I expecting."
> Oh, you bastard... < Imaguni moaned. > I don't actually have a body and I can feel our core temperature rising. <
Kimiko Itou and Miho Hyuuga gave each other a glance before shaking their heads and watching the spectacle unfold…